Friday, September 19, 2014
I have watched the
movie Old Boy, read and was inspired by these two following blogs, my writing is
building upon that which I have read, so please go ahead and read them for
better context.
After watching the
movie and reading the blogs, the point that is coming up for me, in regards to
how we can learn from the movie to better ourselves and our life experience, is
by taking it all back to self.
The movie is clearly
about two men stuck in a revenge cycle, where the one imprisons the other for
15 years as revenge for something he blames him for that happened in their
childhood, then the other seeks to pay back the man who imprisoned him, only to
find that the revenge wasn't over. They hurt innocent bystanders as each
other's loved ones and associates as part of their revenge towards one another.
They stop at nothing. They are moved, motivated and controlled by revenge, it
is all they see, it is all they live for.
These men have given
up their lives in possession and obsession of revenge.
The movie is
expressed in a very extreme way and thus makes it very clear for the viewers to
see the madness that revenge can drive us to, within that as well to see how
wasteful and utterly ludicrous this revengeful behavior is, to spend ones
entire life in revenge, instead of letting go, starting fresh, and allowing
oneself to enjoy and live a full life.
Once I can see the
construct clearly within the movie, presented in the for of one man doing to or
against another man, I like to ask myself where else do I see this construct in
my life and environment. Where do I see the same play out played by different
characters.
What intrigues me
most within exploring the lessons I can derive from this movie, is to research
this construct of revenge as I see it playing out within myself, as myself and
towards myself. In other words, seeing this construct, as it exists externally,
equally existing internally, within the principle of "as within so
without".
Let me explore the
situations where I revenge myself, hold onto grudges towards myself and blame
myself for things that are long gone from my physical experience, yet I hold
on, judge, punish and revenge myself for them, maintaining and perpetuating
this endless cycle of self abuse.
When I say revenge
as an act of self abuse, I see it as any form of deliberate self abuse (all
abuse is deliberate), done based on some point of blame, shame, guilt, judgment
from the past (it is all from the past) - so basically lot of self talk, communication with self, if
not supportive, is a form of revenge.
I forgive myself for
accepting and allowing myself to revenge myself as I hold onto memories of
things I've done or said and regret, blame, shame and judge myself for them,
instead of forgiving myself within the starting point of learning and expanding
from the experience
I forgive myself for
accepting and allowing myself to separate myself within / as myself as I
revenge myself in blame / judgment / regret, as if the one me will do something
that the other me will not approve of and thus, I forgive myself for not
accepting and allowing myself to see, realize and understand that the revenge I
am inflicting upon myself, as punishment and abuse is an indication of a time
where I allowed myself to not be in alignment with myself, where within
participating in revenge I am perpetuating that very same structure of not
being in alignment within and as myself, and thus I forgive myself for not
accepting and allowing myself to take that experience / memory as a point of
growth, expansion and learning rather than beating myself up in revenge, blame
and punishment
I forgive myself for
not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I have used revenge to
justify to myself the continuing participating in thoughts / words / deeds that
are not in alignment with that which is best for all in self honesty, where I
allow myself to think / speak / act in self interest and abuse / harm myself
and /or others in the name of protecting my mind / characters and then I
justify / validate / maintain the cycle by punishing myself in blame / judgment
and in doing so revenging myself for allowing myself to fuck up in the first
place, instead of seeing this whole entire play out, as seeing the fuck up and
the revenge that will follow, and to simply stop
I forgive myself for
accepting and allowing myself to live in the past as to remind myself of how
"I fucked up", "I should have done it this way or that
way", "I shouldn't have done that", where in each time I remind
me I am doing so in blame, shame and guilt as the form of revenge, as a way to
punish myself for what I have allowed in the past, rather than investigating my
past mistakes from a starting point of neutral self exploration, within the
realization that only through seeing myself clearly, without any judgment, just
seeing simply who / how I have allowed myself to be / do / act / say, only
through facing myself in forgiveness can I actually start a fresh page and free
myself from the chains that the past holds on me as long as I allow it, within
holding on to revenge.
I forgive myself for
not accepting and allowing mysel to see that the point of payback as revenge is
an indication of living in the past and thus compromising self here for the
sake of the idea / memory of my perspective of what had happened in the past,
thus, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that
the point of revenge will inevitably become a point of regret and thus a point
of a self judgment / blame and thus the cycle of revenge continues, instead of simply stopping
When and as I see
myself participating in revenge, towards myself or towards others, in form of
thought, word or action, I stop myself and breathe, I stop the revengeful
though, I stop the justifying thought, I stop the belief that I was wronged or
was wrong, I stop it all and breathe. I bring myself back here and notice the
physical body that is here as me. And within breath I speak self forgiveness on
the origin point and the reaction in revenge that came up.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
0 comments:
Post a Comment