Showing posts with label time. Show all posts
Showing posts with label time. Show all posts
Monday, May 13, 2013
Day 191 – Daily writing commitment restart – Day 1
Day 192 – 21 days of self dedication - day 2 - I am a pessimistic
Day 193 - 21 days of self dedication - day 3 - self sabotage
Day 194 - 21 days of self dedication – misusing the desteni process
Day 195 - 21 days of self dedication - part 5 – but I am still here
Day 196 -21 days of self dedication – part 6 - experience of isolation
Day 197 - 21 days of self dedication - self value - day 7
Day 198 - 21 days of self dedication - Self Value - self forgiveness
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself for not taking advantage of the time I had on the farm
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project this judgment as a fear of others judging me for not being effective / accomplishing anything in the time I had here at the farm, and within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear meeting my family / friends when I return, in fear of being judged for how I spent / what I had done with my time
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into emotional possession as an experience of fear / anxiety / worry towards meeting the people back home and facing their criticism / judgment
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become possessed with emotions as anxiety towards my return, instead of supporting myself in writing as to open up and see the point of self judgment being projected as the source of my emotional breakdown, and within this to apply self forgiveness in taking self responsibility to change in the points that require correction, and let go the points that are merely a mind created and false judgment
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not be effective in the time I had here at the farm, within not actually pushing myself in every moment to see / find / do something that will benefit me within self support
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to instead of taking the time I had here at the farm, and making sure I use it as effective as I can, within realizing that time is only running in one direction, and that is out - I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ignore the fact that time is not on my side from the perspective that every moment lost will never come back, and so, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to act from within this understanding that there isn't much time though there is much work to be done
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself for wasting my time and the time of others here at the farm for taking the time in their day to give me all the support that I needed but I had take it for granted, expecting something to happen / change because they were supporting me, not accepting the fact that with all the support that I get, I must support myself and commit myself to myself and dedicate myself to myself in order for anything to happen / change in my world and experience / relationship of / with myself
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself, even here in this supportive environment, to be self honest, to communicate in self honesty, and instead I have put on an act, trying to always keep my cool, trying to always seem ok, and only when the energy build up was too much for me to handle would I uncontrollably explode with emotion - thus, not using this supportive platform effectively, in learning how to communicate to others in asking for support, and in learning how to support myself when I see so clearly that something is building up within myself
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself and my time at the farm according to an idea of how it should have been to have been effective and supportive and within that I am not allowing myself to walk my own process here within seeing in self honesty what it had in fact been, not in relation to an idea but in simply in reality, and within seeing what actually was to learn form it, as appose to judge myself for it based to comparing myself to an idea
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see all the insights and realizations I have picked up at the time I spent in the farm, and within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself for not seeing / realizing, instead of simply leaving it as is, and within this allowing the realizations to come up from within me, and not from judgment / fear / expectation of the mind
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Sunday, May 5, 2013
Day 191 – Daily writing commitment restart – Day 1
Day 192 – 21 days of self dedication - day 2 - I am a pessimistic
Day 193 - 21 days of self dedication - day 3 - self sabotage
Day 194 - 21 days of self dedication – misusing the desteni process
Within my tendency to only see the worst I am replaying to myself all the back chat as self judgment, and within doing so I am constantly over shadowing the progress, or even not the progress, but the simple plain facts of my physical realty - and one plain fact is that I am still here - and I must support / encourage myself within realizing this, as a form of balancing out the usual self discouragement that I am used to feeding myself.
I realize there is a point of polarity here, and I am here to investigate it further, I am not satisfied as to leave things as they are, obviously, so it's not to say that for each discouraging thought I will come back with some positive reinforcement - but what I do mean, is that while I am walking the process of stopping myself within / as the pattern of self sabotage and self discouragement, I must deliberately remind myself the other side of the coin, as a temporary crutch to lean on and support myself with, as a bridge until the tendency to only see the worst is diminished.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be comfortable with assuming / expecting the worst, and thus, to "naturally" accept and participate within such thoughts of self diminishment / judgment, thus, enhancing the point which in tern leads to more judgment and so the cycle of self abuse
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself within the pattern of self diminishment and only seeing/ seeking the worst, to see the physical reality of the situation, and not only my mind projections
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see the reality of the situation and myself within it, and thus deliberately only allow myself to see / express the worst, as if I do not know / recognize myself as confidant and trust worthy, and so, to remain familiar to myself I have become the manifestation of self doubt and dismissal
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that I am here, and even though I participate in my mind, and do not yet effectively stop myself, and even though all the judgment and attempts of giving up - I am still here, and as long as I am here, I can stop and change
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that I have been utilizing writing as self support more than ever before, and within this any comparison to an ideal or to others is just of the mind, and thus I must evaluate if the comparison is within a starting point of self honesty / support or self abuse / competition - and so, I realize that when I judge myself for not doing enough, I do not do so within a starting point of self support, but the contrary, I do so within a point of beating myself down - I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to beat myself down instead of finding practical livable ways to support myself
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to support myself to change, but instead I would only find flaws and emphasize them, without looking for a practical livable solution - and thus doing so in self spite and not support
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that all this self judgment is pointing towards that which I know I want to be but have not yet become, and so it isn't to dismiss the self judgment as invalid, because it is pointing at a valid point , but rather to not go into and participate with the energy of it all, but instead to find the point of change within it, and the point requires forgiveness - as to use the self judgment as an indicator, as a flash light pointing at the right direction - and so, it isn't to believe the flash light holds the truth, it is rather just pointing at it.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to enjoy myself within a constant experience that I must judge myself or else I am proving myself to being shallow and ineffective, not realizing that self enjoyment should be embraced, and is not "bad" if it is done within self expression, as simply enjoying the expression of self and those around - I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to enjoy myself unconditionally
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to enjoy myself within a starting point of trying to be serious about process and the world through an idea that one must express a heaviness in order to sort this world out - but, lol, why would a harsh / heavy / serious expression be more effective within any part of this process, as self investigation, writing, self forgiveness?... There is no common sense in such an idea, it is merely an idea and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try to adjust my expression to fit an idea instead of building and developing self honesty, through writing and self exposure, and then to express myself as who I am and who I want to be after looking at it in awareness, and not automatically allow myself to become an idea that I have not even until now investigated and thus could not have clearly seen the ridiculesness of it all
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to be here in breath, and to move and act from within this one point of me being here.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that today more than before I am more aware of what I am going through within my experience / participation / acceptances, and so, I slow myself down and realize this is a process and I am walking it at my own speed - I forgive myself for judging myself according to comparison and an idea and thus, blinding myself to the fact that I am walking, not only blinding me but causing hardship, instead of embracing myself and investigating why am I going slow, check if I can go faster or become more effective and practically do something about it, rather then judging myself and dismissing all that I am doing as a form of punishment and making myself worthless in my own eyes - not realizing that this enhances the problem rather than going towards a solution.
And so, I commit myself to be more aware of what is physical, and within this, to stop myself within and as breath, when I see myself going into interpretation, especially if I see myself going into the self judgment / diminishment character as a form of trapping myself without a practical solution for change, but only remain in the mind as thinking about it
I am here, and I am walking ,and I can prefect myself and become more effective - but I can do so only within / as self support, and not through self abuse - within this, I commit myself to practice being more self discipline, to making a schedule and re-fixing / editing it as I move along to keep it up-to-date with my current activities, within this, I commit myself to if I do not stay up to speed with my assignments to adjust myself and investigate what/why is going on - I commit myself to breath, to be here, to return to myself as the physical
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Saturday, December 15, 2012
This blog is a part of a blog series “physics and the Desteni Process”
Day 1 - Physics and the Desteni Process - Introduction
Day 2 - Physics and the Desteni Process – Newton's First Law of Motion - the Principle of Inertia
Day 3 - Physics and the Desteni Process - Newton's Third Law of Motion - Equal Force
I have moved the physics blog series to a separate blog : http://physicsjournettolife.blogspot.com/
In my previous blog I discussed the point of forces within an interaction of two or more objects, the point of equal forces that has been discussed remain true for every relationship and within every interaction, but as I've mentioned in my previous blog, the scientific community has agreed to discuss the forces being emitted upon an object when discussing it's motion and not the forces it is emitting and thus responsible for, initially I thought I could align myself with the scientific agreement, but as I go into the depth of the points I see more and more how deceptive and misleading the scientific perspective is, and thus I will show the physics part through the eyes of the mainstream physics, and for the sake of my arguments I will show the interactions from the point of view of the mass, as the forces the mass is emitting and thus responsible for.
Still looking at forces, today I will investigate Newton's second law of motion - out of the three, this is the most discussed law when it come to the schooling system, as it shows the relationship between force and change in motion as acceleration, it follows the first law that discusses the resistance to change -Newton's second law completes it with explaining what is necessary for change in motion to take place, thus force.
Let's have a look at how forces come into this equation, as we know and see all around us that things do move around and change their velocity despite their inherent force of inertia which is the resistance to change, same as we know that we have changed within ourselves through out our lives despite the resistance to change, so let's figure out how this change happens, and what is this force.
the second law of motion exhibits the relationship between force and the change in momentum, which is the change in velocity and mass of an object over time - within motion, for an object to change it's velocity, whether direction or speed, a force must be acting upon it, Newton discovered that the force necessary to change an objects velocity is equal to the change of the body's momentum in time.
Momentum (p) is a property of a body that has a mass (m) and is moving in a velocity (v) - thus p=mv
Just a small mathematical explanation before I continue regarding derivatives that are soon to come - a derivative will look something like this: d@/dt, but instead of the @ figure there would be a parameter that is dependent in time and thus changes in time. a familiar derivative you can probably all relate to is velocity, as we know it refers to miles per hour, or generally speaking, it expresses the distance a body will move in a chosen time frame, thus the displacement of a body, the change in the body's location, so velocity will look like this v=dx/dt
Where: v=velocity, x=displacement , t=time
Now that we got this cleared up I can continue
Newton found that the force needed to change a body's velocity is defined as the derivative of it's momentum, thus force is defined as the change in momentum through time, mathematically it looks like follows: F = dp/dt which means, how much momentum a body will gain or lose in a chosen time frame.
Any quantity that changes in time, is dependent on time and thus can be derived through time, in many cases the mass is constant through time, and in such cases their derivative in time will be zero because they don't change in time - they are constant, in such cases where the mass is constant through time only the velocity part of the momentum will be derived through time, and thus the force will appear as follows:
F = dp/dt = m(dv/dt) = ma
where a stand for acceleration, and is defined by the derivative of velocity in time, which in essence means that acceleration reflects how much will the object's velocity increase or decrease in a chosen time frame. All this brings us to the formulation of the second law of motion as most are familiar with: F=ma
A force acting on a body will cause it to accelerate depending on it's mass, where the more mass a body has the more force must be emitted to reach the same acceleration.
One can see that this law goes along with Newton's first law, where there is no acceleration taking place the net force will be zero, and when the net force exerted on a body is zero the body will not accelerate, remain in it's constant velocity, as indicate the principle of inertia
it's easy to relate to this point when driving a car, I'm sure you've noticed that if you are at a stop light next to a big heavy truck when the light will turn green you will accelerate much faster, this is not because you have a more powerful engine, it's because the mass of your car in relation to the truck is less - so one must realize that the mass of an object will influence it's ability to accelerate, and thus how much force will be needed to reach a specific acceleration - the larger the mass of an object, the harder it will be for it to accelerate, but we know this already based on the principle of inertia.
So, how does Newton's second law of physics relate to the Desteni Process?
Newton law states that a force emitted on an object with a mass will cause it to accelerate - I have to go back to the third law of physics, and insist on the misunderstanding and misleading perspective within interpreting the situation as such where the mass is passive and the force emitted upon it is the cause and source of it's acceleration, I insist because the mass could equally be seen as the source of movement due to it's participation and exertion of forces as we've seen within Newton's third law - consider the simple fact that the mass is the one that is moving, acting and interacting.
The idea that mass is a passive object creates a paradox that can be solved either through the acceptance of a god almighty or some other external mystery force that is the sole director of this reality, or by accepting the idea that the mass is it's own directive principle and that everything in reality is self responsible and if all that exists would realize self as self responsible, within self honesty, it would not believe itself to be submitted to forces, but would direct the forces that it is participating within anyway, yet at the moment not aware of it and thus not existing as the directive principle of it's own forces of which it is participating with in every interaction.
If we insist to believe that mass is passive, because it sounds "too crazy" to believe mass has any responsibility, then we must ask ourselves: is the force that is emitted on the mass, is it responsible? But it is also just another mass so it can't be responsible and is only reacting to other external forces… which if I continue this line of logic the external force would have to be passive as well, so we can go on and on and will never find the source of the motion, the source of the force, because everything is seen as subject to external forces - continuing with line of logic we would come to the conclusion that everything is passively reacting to forces emitted upon it which are passive to other forces, so who or what is directing reality as we see there is a sense of law and order.
Some people may believe that humans are the only beings with awareness and thus the ability to direct - but that would make us into the only self directed force, and that doesn't make sense because everything existed way before humanity did.
As far as I see it there are three options, 1) there is a god that is directing everything, and making us do the scientific experiments that we do, and is in fact the directive principle and the sole responsible for all that is here - I see this as a great way to bale out of taking responsibility, or 2) only humans have awareness and thus the ability to direct, that would contradict the fact that everything existed before humanity, and would also raise the obvious question of if this is true, then why is humanity only destroying everything around it like a living cancer in a body it doesn't realize it is killing, or 3) everything has awareness, equally, but we have all abdicated our responsibility of ourselves and of reality as existence as a whole, thus we must self realize, we must find ourselves within ourselves within the physical as the physical - this is in essence the Desteni Process, a process of self empowerment so that we can be more than who we have accepted ourselves to be as enslaved to mysterious forces that are directing us, but rather investigate ourselves within the starting point of self honesty and realize that we are ourselves, and thus can realize ourselves as who we are, what we do, why we do it, so that within realizing this, we can become self aware and equalize ourselves to the forces that are as of yet exerted on us, and direct them as our own force, then all in existence can do the same equally, because we are all connected within the interactions that we exist in.
The fact that everyone is passively accepting the forces emitted upon them is true but notice the words I used, passively accepting the forces - not passive to the forces. This indicates an ability of choice, a choice that might be denied and overlooked, but still exists. So we are allowing forces to direct us as implied by the second law of motions, but we must ask ourselves and investigate within self honesty if we have the ability to change within ourselves, and reconnect to our inner force which is the realization that we are equal to and one with everything that is here and thus not inherently submitted to any force, but have a choice, because we, as humanity, as mass, as substance, can in fact become the directive principle, we just haven't realized it yet.
So, now, back to the second law of motion, and lets see if we can interpret it in a way that supports us to understand the reality in which we live in and the forces at hand and how we can impact and effect ourselves and reality.
Looking at the equation F=ma from the perspective of a mass, it is no longer seen as if the force is emitted on the mass and causing the acceleration, but utilizing Newton's third law of motion, we can look at it as the mass is responsible for the force it is emitting and thus is putting itself into action, accelerating itself through application, and through that accumulates force which it emits through interactions to what or whom it is interacting with.
We can look at the mass as the substance of "who I am" as all the accumulated knowledge I have about myself and my perspective of reality, thus the property of the mass, as the knowledge it exists as can be within a starting point of the mind, and thus the "who I am" will be self interest, in such a situation, the inner force of the mass as the mass will cause it to accelerate and within the starting point of the substance of the mass as self interest, and thus will emit force of the same starting point, on the other hand, the mass can be of substance as knowledge that supports life, that recognize the natural forces in play and is aligned with all that is here as the physical, in this case the mass will accelerate itself through applying itself within the starting point of that which is best for all, within the realization that that is in fact the highest interest of self, as self is one with all that is here, and thus the force emitted by the mass would be of the same starting point, and that will reflect in all interactions, whether the interactions will be based on self interest and create friction, conflict and suffering for the mass itself as well as to others, or on the principle of equality as what is based for all - is all dependent on the property of the mass - thus, we as humanity, as individuals, have to make the decision to take self responsibility and change ourselves as the mass of knowledge that we exist in, to apply ourselves from the new starting of the self changed mass, and thus to emit a force of the same starting point firstly onto ourselves as we empower ourselves, and secondly around us as we influence and impact the world through our interaction - the choice is ours, are our interactions going to be based on the old version of ourselves, as self interest.
Within the Desteni Process we are provided with tools as writing and self forgiveness to support ourselves in the process of self change, from a mass that is not responsible for the force it emits, into a mass that take self responsibility and change oneself to be able to trust that the force we are participating within is supporting us as life, and all life as we are all one.
We must realize that at the moment it's true, we are forced by the forces around us, we are not self directive, so from this perspective we need a push to get ourselves started, this is the beauty of the Desteni Process as we are all walking our process in writing, not just for ourselves as self support, but this is how we emit force through interactions, and thus you, that are reading our blogs and hearing the Desteni Message, within the interaction, are experiencing it as a force emitted upon you, and it gives you a chance to self explore and self realize.
Let me brake this down on an individual level, the mass is who I am, as the mass of knowledge I exist as, and the property of the mass will indicate if I am holding on to knowledge that is aligned to the natural forces and thus of support of myself as life within the principle of what is best for all life, or is it not aligned with the natural forces, as not existing in equilibrium with the physical reality, as causing friction and conflict through self interest - the mass that I am, the property of myself, that which I exist as, will dictate how I put myself into action which is the property of acceleration, in the Desteni Process, the acceleration will be done within writing and applying self forgiveness as the application of the mass of knowledge as who I am, these properties together will determine the force I emit into and on reality, thus, if the mass as who I am is aligned with the natural forces as equality or if the mass as who I am is aligned with the mind as illation as not existing within the realm of the natural forces of reality, either way, the force I will emit will be an outflow of the starting point of myself as who I am as the mass of knowledge I exist as. Thus, the force I emit within the interactions I exist as reflect me as who I am, whether I'm aware of it or not. Better become aware and take self responsibility - don't you think?
Within the Desteni Process one realize what is natural force, the force of nature, of the physical, this is the reason I am walking this blog series, to bring the two points together within showing that physics supports the Desteni Message due to the simple fact that the Desteni Message is aligned with the physical, within realizing that nature, the physical, substance, all follow the laws of nature and are thus constricted to natural forces, thus, anything that contradicts the natural forces is causing friction and consequences. So our goal is to align ourselves with nature, with the forces of nature, with the physical, to realize that we are not observers but actual equal and one participants in this existence, in this ball of dust. We all are made from the same substance, we are all primarily physical, and only through the perception of the mind we believe ourselves to be separate from all that is here. An interesting point to consider is that we are mass, yet we have awareness, perhaps all mass has awareness as that would explain why the mass is in fact responsible for all the forces it is emitting and participating in, while physics has always seen it as a passive object and thus has considered only the forces acting upon it. In this series of blogs, the starting point is different, I can't say I know for a fact that all mass / substance is in fact aware, but I sure as hell can't say for a fact that it isn't, thus I will continue with following the physics to where it takes me, within allowing myself to investigate all that is here and keep that which is good, that which will be of most support for humanity to better ourselves to bring about a reality through applying ourselves in awareness to create a force that is aligned with the force of nature that will support nature and all life as a whole.
To learn more about yourself and how reality functions, please consider a FREE online Course
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Desteni Wiki
Desteni Forum
Desteni I Process
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Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
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Earth's Journey to Life
Monday, December 3, 2012
This is a continuation from my previous blogs:
Day 104 - Nature reflecting my assertiveness
Day 105 - My relationship with Assertiveness
Day 106 - Assertiveness - Part 3 - Self forgiveness
Day 107 - assertiveness - "problem points"
Please read this blog for further insight A History with Life After Death – Part 10
"...the most Important Foundation Stone for your Process to Life Here on Earth, which is Steadfastness. It is Consistency. It is the Basis of your Existence. It is the Premise of One’s Equality. It is Who You Are, Breath by Breath. It is where you Face the Temptation of the Easy Road that is Always Presented by the Sugar-Lolly the System use to get you to Ignore the Total Reality and to Focus Only on your own Self Interest. Steadfastness – it is a Steady, yet Fast Movement, to make sure you’re not Shifted from That which Is Life, Equal, In All."
Day 104 - Nature reflecting my assertiveness
Day 105 - My relationship with Assertiveness
Day 106 - Assertiveness - Part 3 - Self forgiveness
Day 107 - assertiveness - "problem points"
I found several
definition of assertiveness
Assertive -
1. Confident and
direct in claiming one's rights or putting forward one's views.
2. Inclined to bold
or confident assertion; aggressively self-assured.
3. given to making
assertions or bold demands; dogmatic or aggressive
The word
assertiveness has been tainted with aggression, I see
this through my own application of the word as well as how it's been defined in
dictionaries - we live in a world that being confident and direct is related to
aggression, that's the extent of suppression we have allowed in this world - as
the only way one can express themselves directly and move forward would be
through using force, so we have a world where those that are confident and
successful had to force their way to the top, within allowing themselves to be
aggressive, but they are not all solely to blame because this is what we all accepted and allowed
as the demands within system , thus, we as the system have related
assertiveness and self direction with aggression and using force.
I was planning to
redefine assertiveness, but instead I was introduced to a new word -
steadfastness, this word represents everything that assertiveness represent but
doesn't have any aggressive connotations, steadfastness represents a stability,
which is not in relation to an interaction, it is a self stability, whereas
assertiveness is in relation to interaction and thus is not an unconditional
self stand, as it is within communication with
another, or towards another, thus, within assertiveness exist steadfastness,
but steadfastness exist regardless of assertiveness as a self stability and
clarity, steadfastness would then essentially be self assertiveness, an
assertiveness as an expression of self regardless the situation.
steadfast
1. fixed in
direction; steadily directed.
2. firm in purpose,
resolution as a person: a steadfast friend.
3. unwavering, as
resolution, adherence, etc.
4. firmly
established, as an institution or a state of affairs.
5. firmly fixed in
place or position.
Please read this blog for further insight A History with Life After Death – Part 10
"...the most Important Foundation Stone for your Process to Life Here on Earth, which is Steadfastness. It is Consistency. It is the Basis of your Existence. It is the Premise of One’s Equality. It is Who You Are, Breath by Breath. It is where you Face the Temptation of the Easy Road that is Always Presented by the Sugar-Lolly the System use to get you to Ignore the Total Reality and to Focus Only on your own Self Interest. Steadfastness – it is a Steady, yet Fast Movement, to make sure you’re not Shifted from That which Is Life, Equal, In All."
I forgive myself for
not accepting
and allowing myself to stand as steadfastness, thus not allowing myself to
stand firm, stable and clear within myself as self honesty as knowing who I am as life and
living myself as self expression in every moment
I forgive myself for
not accepting and allowing myself to be self assertive, within this I forgive
myself for not accepting and allowing myself to be assertive towards myself as
the mind
as I have allowed the mind
to direct me instead of allowing myself to be the directive principle
I forgive myself for
not accepting and allowing myself to accept myself as stable, serious, direct,
and thus have not allowed myself to live and express myself as steadfastness,
in fact I have defined myself as he contrary and thus have created characters
as the joker character that I have lived by and have thus allowed to direct me,
within not realizing that I am being directed by the character that I have
created within separation myself form steadfastness as the expression of self
as life
I forgive myself for
accepting and allowing myself to fear
the reactions of others within projecting onto them the self judgment
based in the self belief that I am not qualifies to express myself as
stability, thus fearing
experiencing the judgment
from them that will confirm my own self judgment, thus I have made a deliberate
choice
to avoid any stand within/as myself as to express myself as silly, and thus to
prevent any judgment that will confirm my own self judgment as inadequate, not
realizing that I have within this, created myself as inadequate and thus have
in fact manifested my fear as proving to myself my own self created self
belief, within this I realize that as long as I judge myself as incapable of
standing, as unworthy of standing within stability, I will continue fearing being judged
by others, thus I realize that my fear of being judged by others is mirroring
myself back to self, as showing me my own points of self judgment, and point I
have not allowed myself to accept as myself as one and equal
I forgive myself for
not accepting and allowing myself to accept myself as serious and thus have
separated myself from serious as an expression, within this I forgive myself
for accepting and allowing myself to prove myself right within not allowing
myself to express myself as serious though using the polarity expression
as the joker and defining it as myself, within this I forgive myself for not
accepting and allowing myself to see, realize and understand that both serious
and the joker expressions are valid as self expression when striped of the
polarity I have attached to them, within giving them a value, and a preference,
thus, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself see that the
value, preference I have given the serious and the joker expression have been
limiting me from actually expressing myself as either of them as myself -
because I have placed value/preference on these expressions I have used them as
self definition and have limited myself as my self expression within an act, a
performance, using these expression to suit my self interest, but within this I
have lost myself in the performance and have become enslaved to the expression
as not allowing myself to be serious "because it's not me" and
expressing myself as the joker when it is not my actual self expression as a
way to hide my true self expression from others as myself "because that's
who I am, funny, a joker"
I realize that I am
not defined by the character o believe to define me, thus, I realize I am not
defined as the joker and not as "not serious" within this I realize
that I can express myself in any expression and not limit myself as self definition,
thus, when and as I see myself going into the joker character, I stop myself
and breathe, I check my starting point, I check within self honesty if joking
around is an actual self expression or is a participation within a character,
thus if I realize that I am acting the character I stop myself, I breathe, and
do not allow myself to participate in the character, I realize this will cause
an inner conflict
because this is the expression I am so used to thus I commit myself to support
myself with breathing
and continue breathing as I return back to self, and align back with myself as
who I really am, thus not allowing myself to jump into character but breath
through it until the energy
has passed, within this I commit myself to when I see myself avoiding the
serious expression due to fear, and due to believing it isn't who I am, I stop
myself and breath, I allow myself to express myself in a stable and clear way
without running away to the joker character, I allow myself to explore myself
as clear, steadfast and stable without fear, within this I commit myself to
stop the polarity I have created between the joker and the serious as I have
realized both expressions are equally valid within a starting point of self
honesty as self expression, and both are equally not valid as a character,
participated within fear.
I commit myself to
walk this point in awareness in the next 7-14 days, and to realign myself and
investigate every specific point that come up where I see myself not standing
stable and instead turning to the joker character, or not allowing myself to express
myself seriously, within this I commit myself to right out the points that come
up and to forgive myself and correct my application and to free myself from the
limitations I have enslaved myself as within this point, and through freeing
myself from this point, allow myself to be one within the expression of
steadfastness in every moment of every breath - I realize this is a process and
will take time, thus, I commit myself to walk it day by day until I have
cleared myself from the points, until I have actually forgiven myself for how I
have allowed myself to exist and correct/change myself to live as self
expression within self honesty as living the principle that governs life as
oneness and equality, and thus living as what is best for all life
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