Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Day 3 – you snooze you lose


Day 3 – you snooze you lose

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create inner conflict every morning as I set the alarm for another 5 minutes to stay in bed longer within justifying to myself that I don’t need to get up so early, instead of setting the clock ahead of time to the actual time I am required to get up at, and then to not doubt it in the morning as the back chat of desire to stay in bed come up.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to set up the alarm a few minutes too early in order to allow myself the time to snooze, by doing so creating for myself a pattern of snoozing and compounding the “morning voice” speaking the desire to stay in bed, compounding the desire instead of supporting myself to stop my participation with it.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to set the alarm to an earlier time within the acceptance that I need to snooze, not questioning for a moment the effect snoozing has on me, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing my first act in the morning to be an act of self doubt and giving in to the mind as I listen to and obey the back chat of wanting just a few more minutes in bed.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to accumulate the experience of wanting to stay in bed throughout my life and have created a personality around this desire, I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to the desire to stay in bed longer. I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to submit myself to the morning back chat as internal conversations as justifications and explanations as to why to stay in bed just a few more minutes

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be aware of myself giving into the mind in the morning but to still yet allow myself to stay in bed knowing I am being directed by the mind and allowing it to continue

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself for allowing myself to be directed by my morning mind even within awareness, but I haven’t realized that I haven’t supported myself to stop and change this pattern, and on top of that I realize that judgment is another mind created construct to keep me enslaved and not living here as self support as breath, and thus I stop judgment as it is not supportive

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe changing this point will be too difficult for me and thus I prefer to give up before trying – when I see myself giving up before trying I stop and breathe, I realize this is a mind construct programmed to keep me enslaved to the mind through accepting myself as inferior and thus spate to that which I believe is too big for me to handle, I support myself through finding practical ways and solution to support myself to solve this point, and I keep on finding solutions until it is done and I have transcended the point

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted the self definition of myself as someone that is too weak to push myself through the point of the desire to sleep, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I can’t stand up to the voices in my head and disobey them as the convince me to stay in bed

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to exist within the belief that sleeping as long as possible is good, and one should want to sleep as long as one can, within this I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that in many cases the desire to sleep is an indication of a point I am running away from and it is in fact a red flag pointing me back to self. I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see the point of desire to sleep as a gift of self support revealing another layer of self to self

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to place value on sleeping other than it’s practical value of resting the physical body, I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe I am missing out, losing, if I give up on a few minutes of sleep, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to get out of bed early even if I wake up alert, because I don’t want to lose the precious sleeping minutes

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to, in the morning, value sleeping minutes more than awake minutes while at night I value awake minutes more than sleeping minutes

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to ignore my body as a physical indicator of how much sleep I need and when I am required to support my physical body with sleeping, and to follow my mind pattern as to when/how much to sleep.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to hold myself up at night and not want to go to sleep and then keep myself in bed as long as I can instead of getting up with the first alarm

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to abuse myself within this sleeping pattern instead of using sleep as the physical support that it is and that’s it.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to exist within a loop of self judgment and discontent through allowing myself to follow this sleeping pattern instead of supporting myself to stop and support myself through sleeping in a practical way

At night, I stop the fight with myself trying to keep up, when I realize I am ready to go to sleep but fighting with myself to stay up – I stop and breathe, I look to see if what I am doing is actually practical to be done at the moment or can wait for tomorrow, when possible, I stop what I’m doing, I breathe, and I support myself with going to sleep.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be hypnotized with what I am doing at night and not allow myself to let go what I am doing to go to sleep.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not realize the connection between the difficulty I experience waking up in the morning and the fact that I hold myself up later than my body is signaling me

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to create a physical point of being tired and thus compound through accumulation the allowance of being manipulated by the mind

I forgive myself for not accepted and allowing myself to realize that by going to sleep earlier I can give myself enough time to wake up with the first alarm and accumulate for myself experiences of getting up and not allowing myself to be manipulated by the voices in my head because I would have known there is no reason to be tired because I actually had enough time to sleep.
I forgive myself tat I’ve accepted and allowed myself to use not sleeping enough as an excuse to not wake up in the morning, and thus create a never ending loop of going to sleep late to then use it as excuse to wake up late – instead of stopping the cycle and allowing myself to sleep early and not allowing myself to listen and be directed by the voice in my head
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed the voice in my head to talk me into being doubtful towards myself within not trusting the time I have set on the alarm

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manipulate myself and thus to compound the self doubt, by setting the alarm to early.

Here I stop, I support myself with sleep. I stop using sleeping as an object to create drama about. I realize sleeping is a physical support and I stop misusing it as way to abuse myself within judging myself to not getting up.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to within not getting up in time to start my day within stress of being late. Thus I see and realize how much effect this morning back chat has on the rest of my day, as it sets the tone for the rest of the day.
I realize and see now the self support within not allowing myself to follow my mind but rather to stop my mind and stop participation with the thoughts and idea coming up.
I see and realize this is a pattern which I know it’s beginning and end, and to stop it I must change myself within it.

I commit myself to allowing myself enough time to sleep through going to sleep when my body signals me and not force myself as my body to stay up for no practical reason.
I commit myself to take a deep breath when I open my eyes in the morning, and to stop all back chat as internal conversations, specifically in regards to staying in bed.
I commit myself to stop myself from following the morning thoughts and to simply get out of bed, and start my day.



1 comments:

harelmaya said...

Cool Mayale, very supportive blog here

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