Day 2 - What am i going to write about?

What am I going to forgive? Which point should I take on now?

I find myself looking for the “right” point to write about instead of simply writing about it. I find myself in my mind going on and on about all the different patterns I have participated with that have not been supportive and that I would like to forgive and correct within myself, but I can’t make up my mind, which one should I tackle NOW within self forgiveness – what happens is that I become overwhelmed by the choices and postpone making a decision till later or later or later… I realize now that this construct has been another method to put off supporting myself by writing as self forgiveness.

I have experienced in the past day or two a constant internal conversation about what I should write my next self forgiveness blog about. While many different points rush through my mind, I end up feeling overwhelmed and indecisive. All points are valid and would be supportive to take on, but I have allowed myself to hide behind “not knowing” what to write about – this is a construct based on separation within the belief/perception that someone else is watching me and will judge me for picking the “right” point to forgive or not. I have not realized that within self forgiveness there isn’t any right or wrong, and there isn’t an external eye watching over me waiting to see if I “do the right thing” – it is all about self.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to postpone writing self forgiveness because I couldn’t make up my mind as to what I should write about, instead of simply writing about any one of the many points that came up during the day within. I forgive myself for not realizing that postponing is a mind manipulation to keep me from supporting myself as self forgiveness while the only practical thing to do is to actually write, here in the physical. When I see myself postponing writing due to not making my mind as to what I should write about I stop and breathe, and push myself to start writing within understanding that this is a point of transformation – will I allow the patter of the mind of walking away from my own self created confusion and allow it to direct me, or will I face it within self forgiveness

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe the thoughts in my mind telling me I don’t know to chose which one of the points that came up I should write about, instead of simply starting to write and allowing myself to express myself at the moment, within and as self trust.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to put my thoughts/mind before self, and to within that compromise/abuse myself and not allow myself to support myself within establishing self direction and clarity through a constant application of self forgiveness. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fall again and again in the manipulations of the mind and time after time to direct myself by listening to the voices in my head instead of standing as self here as/within breath, within the clarity of what is best for all within equality

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be directed by voices in my head as back chat, and witin that I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to lose control of myself through letting my mind direct me , my actions and reactions.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed the thoughts/voices in my mind direct me within believing them to be me and thus be in my “best interest”, I forgive myself for not allowing myself to see that these voices are not actually supporting me as life as one and equal, but in fact supporting my patterns/addictions and self abuse.

I stop now. When I see myself going into the conversation in my head, debating about what I should do and justifying myself to myself – I stop and breathe, I realize that any inner conversation is indication of myself manipulation and thus I stop and find a practical way to direct myself with.

I forgive myself that I’ve not accepted and allowed myself to trust myself to know what is a priority point for me to work on now, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use not knowing what to write about as an excuse keeping me from writing and thus keeping me from establishing greater self trust through application, and thus compounding the loop.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within the belief that someone is watching over me, like a god, and is judging me as I move along in my life – I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to place myself as less than this god figure I have created in my mind, instead of seeing within self honesty that this god figure is representing a projection of self within separation.

When I if I see myself projecting myself onto a god figure as an external judgmental eye watching over me, I stop and breathe, I realize that any judgment I fear is pointing at a point that is unclear within self and requires investigation and forgiveness, thus I take the opportunity as a gift and clear myself form the fear of judgment as to allow myself to walk/express freely without being directed by the fear of others

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to use as an excuse to not apply self forgiveness the idea that I don’t know what to write about, instead of realizing that this experience of “not knowing what to write about” is a mind manipulation. 

When I find myself participating within “not knowing” I stop and breathe, I look at what is practical to do at the moment within the principle of equality and oneness as what is best for all, and thus allow myself to support myself here through/as self direction while stopping the control of the programmed mind