Friday, March 29, 2013
this is a continuation of my previous blogs:
Day 173 – Still not good enough
Day 174 - Laziness or Inadequacy?
Day 175 – Priorities
Day 176 - The Last Minute
Day 177 - Not Pushing Myself
Day 178 - I can only start Walking from Here
Day 179 – I want to but I don’t want to
Day 180 – Building a Bridge
Day 181 – Self Belief “I am not Dedicated”
a must hear - Why do we not access our full potential? Why do we hold ourselves back?:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within the belief that I am not dedicated
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that dedication is a skill that I lack, instead of realizing that it is a behavioural pattern that can be practiced and learned, and thus, within accepting the belief that I am not dedicated I have given myself an excuse to take the easy way out instead of facing myself as who I am and from where I am to push myself to change and learn and become that which I find would be best for me to be, as I’ve seen that the ability of dedication is supportive and empowering and thus rather than giving myself excuses for not being that, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to do all in my ability to equalize myself to the living word as dedication
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define dedication as an energetic experience, instead of realizing the physical practicality of dedication as the living word as I have redefined for myself in the previous blog
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize the simplistically of dedication as the living word, as a word that can be lived, and instead I have made it more than it is, in my mind, thus making it special and divine and thus separating myself form it – within this, I realize that any word / character / behavior I see as more than me, as a point that I am not able to achieve, I must investigate the word and look for the energetic value I have given it – within this, to investigate myself and look for the specific memory that I accepted as a defining point of myself to have accepted this point of limitation and inferiority as who I am.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold on to many memories, indicating that I am not dedicated, thus allowing myself to exist in the past and limit myself due to my past experiences instead of learning from the past, as investigating to find out why was I not dedicated in those situations and from learning myself as my behaviors / patterns to commit myself to change within aligning myself to dedications the living word, within the principle of equality and oneness – within realizing that I can only live that which I am equal to – and thus, I must define dedication in such a way that it can be lived, otherwise I am trapping myself in an endless chase after the unachieved, as living a word that cannot be lived
And so, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deliberately define words, as dedication, in such a way that cannot be lived and thus set myself up for a fall, a failure, instead of supporting myself in seeing that which I am doing and stopping myself, within realizing that such behavior to inflict upon myself an endless chase is abusive and self sabotaging in nature, is unacceptable.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see the physical and practical simplistically of the word dedication, as a word that indicates one, within walking in a specific direction, has made a decision in awareness as within researching and investigating and accepting the entire point at hand, and once making the decision within taking into consideration the practical and physical application that must be done in order to walk the decision, within taking into consideration the consequential outflow of walking the decision, within walking into the decision with one’s eyes wide open – one then walk the decision into completion, as a living expression of the direction and the decision, as one and equal, in consistency, until the point is complete.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that at times where I have defined myself and judged myself for not being dedicated, I was not aware of the above definition, and thus could not assess and evaluate why am I not applying myself or living the decision I have made – I forgive myself for never asking myself if I in fact made a directive / aware decision, or did I just follow the spur of the moment, I forgive myself for never asking myself if I made the decision within accepting the direction as the principle it stands as, I forgive myself for never asking myself questions as to try and understand myself, but instead went into judgment, and accumulated one more memory in the pile of self doubt / diminishment / belittling.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect dedication to success within a time frame, not seeing and realizing that a time frame in not a part of dedication within it’s definition, and thus I realize that I have confused myself as to believe that I am not dedicated because I didn’t make a time schedule, and thus, instead of seeing the problem for what it is, as poor time management, or poor prioritizing, I have generalized the point and have defined myself as not being dedicated, not seeing that by doing so I am diminishing myself through living out the belief, instead of actually seeing the point and correcting the actual problem.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that dedication will solve everything, and thus, when I have not managed to finish a project in time I believed it was due to not being dedicated enough, as if I were more dedicated I would have done anything, though, within this, I didn’t allow myself to investigate other aspects within my application and thus, not allowing myself to be specific as to see how exactly did I sabotage the project, in order to be able to correct myself within the relevant point
I see and realize how self beliefs are limiting and self sabotaging as once I believe myself to be something I start behaving as that and actually create myself as the belief rather than the belief actually defining who I am, within this I realize that by falling to self belief I prevent myself from unconditionally investigating myself within the point as to find the actual source point that needs be corrected in order to align myself in becoming the best that I can be in all and every aspect.
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