Tuesday, January 15, 2013
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist in a constant experience that I am missing out
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that other conversations are probably more interesting / funny than the one I am having, and within this belief I experience myself as missing out
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to divert my attention to other conversations in the area while I'm engaged in a conversation with someone, within an attempt to hear what they are talking about, because it must be something interesting that I am missing out on, and thus I focus my attention in trying to hear what's being said around me and am not here within the conversation that I am actually having
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to actually be here, present, and listen to the person I am engaged in conversation with, because I am focusing my attention out there, on other conversation, within the belief that I am missing out on something better
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to actually be here within the conversation that I am having, and thus am not actually listening to the person, and thus cannot actually have a decent conversation, because I am not here in my totality, within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to treat our conversation as boring and unimportant, within not considering the other person in the conversation, while acting in a way that doesn't consider them, doesn't respect them, acting in a way I wouldn't want to have done to me, thus not following the principle of "do onto another that which you want them to do onto you" but actually living as the opposite, as I do to them that which I do not want to be done to me, as I wouldn't want someone to talk to me while looking for the next and better conversation
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take it personally and be insulted if while talking with someone they are busy looking for the next more interesting conversation instead of being here in their totality, within this I realize that I have been taking it personally because I didn't understand the construct of it within and as myself, as if I were to understand myself, as why I do the very same thing, I would know it isn't personal but comes towards me, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become insulted instead of taking the opportunity to investigate myself within the point as such behavior, as to see why I do it myself
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that the experience of missing out, which causes me to focus on other conversations instead of being here within the one I am having, is showing me that I am not content within and as myself, as I am looking for something out there to fulfill me, instead of realizing that nothing out there can fulfill me if I am not giving self fulfillment to myself as the living expression as who I am.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that the very experience of not being fulfilled / content with myself is created and generated by the mind through my participation, within this I haven't allowed myself to see that the experience of not being content, in peace, within and as myself, and thus the experience of missing out, is a result of my participation in the mind as I believe the thoughts, back chat, memories, ideas that come up as voices in my head, directing me to take action as searching for the next and better conversation, instead of allowing myself to stop myself within breath, and to remain here, within and as myself, and as I breathe I realize I am here, and all that there is - is here, thus there is no point to look for anything anywhere out there
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that when a conversation is ot interesting, and when I am experiencing myself missing out on the better conversation going on out there, I am actually separating myself from / as myself, I am separating myself from the reality of here as I am judging it as boring / not good enough, instead of being here in my totality, within and as breath, without judgments of the mind, I forgive myself for not seeing, realizing and understanding that without the judgments, thoughts, back chat of the mind I could simply be here in the moment, enjoying the conversation I am having in peace
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the perceived circumstances be the directive principle of me, instead of directing myself and taking self responsibility for my experience in each and every moment, thus not to believe the idea that I will find fulfillment out there through a better conversation, but to direct myself and become equal and one with fulfillment here, as who I am in every moment
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that as I am focusing on other conversation within fear of missing out instead of being here within and as the conversation I am having - I am actually missing out on myself, I am missing out on this very breath, which is all that there is, thus, I am missing out on life, within this I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that my participation with the fear of missing out is that which is creating myself as actually missing out on myself
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