Wednesday, October 31, 2012
This blog is a follow up from my previous blog
Day 69 - Friendship - Part 11 – Spitefulness – Part 1
Day 70 - Spitefulness - Part 2 - Self Forgiveness
Day 71 - Spitefulness - Part 3 - Self Commitments
Day 72 – Spitefulness – Part 4 – More Characters – Self Forgiveness
Day 73 - Spitefulness - Part 5 – Self Commitments
Day 74 - Spitefulness - Part 6 - Self Forgiveness
Day 75 - Spitefulness - Part 7 - Self Commitments
Day 76 - Spitefulness - Part 8 – Both Sides of the Coin - Self Forgiveness
Spite - Malicious ill will prompting an urge to hurt or humiliate.
I've realized that any reaction within myself is a self create/accepted reaction/experience. Within this I realize that all parts of the spitefulness character/structure are self created, as I see that only through my participation/creation of ideas/beliefs/opinion/self definitions/judgments do I allow myself to become spiteful as an outflow of and justified by all that I have created as the mind.
It's funny in a way; my mind creates an idea, then my mind creates conflict within this idea, where reality contradict my idea, or when two ideas within me collide and cannot coexist without conflict, thus inner conflict, then I experience the conflict as a "negative" experience, as something undesirable, and then instead of seeing my responsibility for the entire situation which would indicate and may even result in changing my actions/behavior within realizing that I am creating my own self conflict, no, instead of doing that, I manipulate myself within/as the mind into believing that someone else is to blame and actually responsible for the conflict as the negative energy that I am experiencing, within this whole mess I believe myself as the mind, and turn spiteful towards this other being that I have projected onto them the blame/responsibility, and thus I hold them responsible for my self creation.
Within self honesty I realize another "disturbing" point, where all and everything that I experience being done to me, that I then blame and become spiteful towards, I am participating within. For instance, I resent people expecting things from me and then expressing their disappointment, and when it happens I become spiteful towards it/them, but then I allow myself to exist as the other side of the same coin where I expect things from other and then am disappointed and take it personally when they don't stand up to my expectations, and then I turn into spitefulness as well… now, the reason I react to peoples expectation is because of the construct I have created within myself when I expect from others, so when I expect from others I disregard them as the totality of their beingness and all I care about is my self interest which I want them to live by, and if they don't I am disappointed and become spiteful/resentful towards them, thus when I experience people expecting things from me I, within myself, expect them to exist as the pattern/construct I exist as, which I created in my mind, thus when I react to expectation I am in fact reacting to the construct of expectation that I created within myself and that I participate within.
So here again showing the basic law of “as within so without"as I within myself create that which I perceive to come from without me, as well as the principle of "do onto another as you would like them to do onto you" because what do is what I experience being done to me, and thus only if I do onto another that which I would like to be done onto me, will I experience that which I want to experience.
I commit myself to take and investigate every reaction I have towards another within realizing that it is showing me my own creation, and thus I commit myself to stop myself within breath and take responsibility for that which I created as the reaction/situation I am participating within.
I commit myself to stop myself from participating within the construct of expectation, when/as I see myself going into expectation I stop and breathe, I bring myself back here within realizing that expectation is based on ideas/beliefs and supports limitation while disregarding the other's beingness as the physical existence as what is here, within this I commit myself to when/as I see myself going into spitefulness, to investigate within myself what expectation I had of the situation/other which in my perception it/they didn't stand by, and within this I commit myself to clear myself from the expectation through writing, self forgiveness and corrective statements. I commit myself to stop myself from existing as expectation as what is not actually here as the physical, as life, and to bring myself back here, to the physical reality, to walk here, breath by breath, within realizing that here, spitefulness cannot exist, it can only exist as a construct of the mind, as an illusion that becomes alive as I give it life through my participation with it.
I commit myself to facing myself as the lowest point of existence, within allowing myself to face the lowest perceptions I have of self, and to from seeing the lowest and forgiving myself within self honesty, to stop the cycle of reaction when I perceive others in my environment are defining me as the lowest, within realizing that by allowing myself to be one with the lowest point, no one can then have power over me, and within forgiving myself as the lowest point I can be free of the fear of being seen/perceived as the lowest point, within realizing that the reaction towards how people see/perceive me is based on the self definition as the religion of self that I have accepted as myself, and thus "fight" to protect, but within allowing myself to let go of the positive idea I have about myself, and take on the lowest most negative points, I can in fact be free of the reaction, because there will be nothing to fear
I commit myself to stop myself from bullying others, within identifying a point of weakness and creating a situation where I can see myself as the dominator, as more than the other, I commit myself to stop participating within any pattern which is abusive/humiliating/suppressing of another being within realizing that as long as I participate within such constructs I will always perceive these construct being done to me by others, when in fact I will be experiencing my own creation, thus for these constructs of abuse/humiliation/suppression to stop, I must stop them within myself - as within so without, thus I am directly responsible for the abuse going on in the world through my participation with abuse towards others, I realize any participation with/as abuse/spitefulness/bullying towards others is showing me a hidden point of inferiority/weakness that I have accepted within/as myself, and thus I take on this point of weakness/inferiority, and investigate it as myself, not hiding from it any more, but allowing myself to one and equal to/as it, to be able to accept myself as it, and then to let it go within/through self forgiveness, to be able to trust myself that I will not be directed by this point and will not hide it within/through spitefulness/abuse
When I see myself within an emotional energetic reaction, where I feel like I can't take it anymore and want to burst out on someone else to share with me this negative energy - I stop and breathe, I close myself away and stop all interaction as I know where this is leading, and I do not accept myself to in any circumstances spread the energy like an infectious disease only for the self interest of feeling momentarily better, only to then go into guilt when the energy has passed and I am left with the awareness of what I had done. Thus I stop myself from passing on the energy of anger/spitefulness through breathing, until the energetic possession is over, thus, I commit myself to not communicate with others until I can trust myself to do so without passing on the energy to another, through being nasty/spiteful towards them, as this is simply unacceptable
For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
This blog is a follow up from my previous blog
Day 69 - Friendship - Part 11 – Spitefulness – Part 1
Day 70 - Spitefulness - Part 2 - Self Forgiveness
Day 71 - Spitefulness - Part 3 - Self Commitments
Day 72 – Spitefulness – Part 4 – More Characters – Self Forgiveness
Day 73 - Spitefulness - Part 5 – Self Commitments
Day 74 - Spitefulness - Part 6 - Self Forgiveness
Day 75 - Spitefulness - Part 7 - Self Commitments
Spite - Malicious ill will prompting an urge to hurt or humiliate.
Desire approval - Abuse for sense of power - Passing on the energy of inferiority/anger - Expectation - Believing I am not loved - Manipulation – Control
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to be approved by some people, within this desire I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to expect them to respond/speak to me in an approving manner, thus, when they express themselves in a way that I perceive to be as "negative" I react within taking it personally as I have accepted my self definition to be based on how I believe they see me, and thus when I believe they see me "badly" it hurts my self definition, thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself in regards to how others see me and thus allow myself to be directed/controlled/limited by the perception/idea/belief of how others see me , within this I see that as a result of them not giving me the positive feedback I believe I require, I turn to spitefulness/resentment, thus I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see the direct evil/spiteful outflow of my acceptance of myself according to how others see me, as I have placed my self definition and thus self acceptance in the hands of others and as they interact with me and how I perceive this interaction, thus not allowing myself to be self directed but rather allowing myself to be in the hands of others, not considering their entire beingness and experience of themselves in every moment, but only considering myself, and within only considering myself, when they speak/respond to me in a way that doesn't express their approval I turn spiteful
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to pick on those that I define as weaker than me, allowing myself to bully/spite/abuse them as a form or regaining a sense of power within the starting point of believing I need to regain my power due to actually seeing myself as weak/inferior/worthless, thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as inferiority, which is an entire character within itself that serve my self interest of surviving as I have created myself as inferior, not allowing myself to see that the outflow of my accepted and allowed inferiority to exist within me results as the consequence of allowing myself to become spiteful towards others, and thus to create/manifest inferiority in another while attempting to regain my power, still within the polarity of superiority/inferiority, instead of stepping out of the polarity which is based in the mind as an illusion in fact and not on actual reality as the physical, and allow myself to exist as the hereness of myself, as breath, as the physical, while supporting myself and others as myself to become the living expression of/as ourselves, to live within self honesty, in equality, as what is best for all
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be nasty towards others within spitefulness when I am aware they have done nothing wrong so to speak, but I am consumed with an emotional energetic reaction such as inferiority or anger for example, that within my experience I must pass it on to someone else to diffuse it, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to pass on the energy I am experiencing to an innocent by-stander, just to feel the relief of not having to carry/experience this energy I have just passed on within self interest and complete disregard of the other human being, within this I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that by doing so, as passing on the negative experience, as to share the load with someone else, I am not actually getting rid of the problem but duplicating it, as it now exist in myself due to not actually walking through the point and allowing myself to face the reaction I have allowed myself to participate within, and now I have given it to another person, that will react/respond to what I have done/said to them, and create the energy within them, thus, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to take self responsibility on my creation as energetic reaction and instead of dealing within it through/as breath within/as myself I pass it on like a hot potato, not realizing the self interest self deception of giving myself a momentarily relief to only a few moments later, once the energetic possession has passed to go into guilt for allowing myself to act within spitefulness within self interest with no justification to validate me as I know within myself that what I have done is complete disregarding the other person within their life process, as well as myself
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within/as spitefulness when someone doesn't hold up to the expectation I have on them, as I feel like I deserve to get something specific from them as positive feedback, agreement or participation for instance, and if I don't get what I want/expect from them, I react within spitefulness, within this, on the other side of the coin, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react within spitefulness when I feel someone is expecting something of me, as I experience it as a form of limitation and as a disregard of the totality of me, and thus when one expect me to do something and expresses their expectation/disappointment I go into spitefulness and hold it against them, within this, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that I have been participating in both sides of the coin, both expecting from others, and reacting to them expecting from me, thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in the construct of expectation as I have realized that it is based on limitation and the disregard of the totality of a being, and is based solely on self interest
Within the construct of expectation, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into spitefulness when I expect someone to love me, and express their love in a specific way that I would experience that love, and thus, when I don't experience that love which I expect to experience from another I allow myself to go into spitefulness and resent the being for not giving me the positive/validation/acceptance experience of love, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit myself as I define myself according to how I perceive people think/feel about me, thus not allowing myself to be here in every moment as the self directive principle of/as myself, but instead to rely on others to approve/validate/accept/love me, within this I see that I expect to get all of this from others instead of allowing myself to give it to myself within building myself as self, and accepting myself as self, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate from myself to such an extent that in order to love/accept/appreciate/validate/approve myself, I believe I require an external acceptance/love/approval
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use spitefulness within manipulation as I know everyone is directed by emotions and feelings and thus I play on it and manipulate them into experiencing themselves in a specific/bad way through my participation in/as spitefulness and thus I play god as I use through manipulation my spitefulness to direct them to do that which I want, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within the other side of the coin once again where I allow myself to become spiteful towards other beings when/as I see they are using manipulation to get what they want, as I have defined it as unacceptable within the value system, not allowing myself to see that I am in fact "guilty" of the same crime, and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to justify myself when I act/behave in manipulative way but when others do it I use it against them and justify my spitefulness towards them, thus allowing myself to exist as two faced, not aligned with the principles/values I believe I stand by, thus creating a tare within me, as a form of separation where I always see myself as right and others as wrong, and thus within this basic belief/point of view, of always being right, I justify myself and blame them for basically doing the same thing
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in spitefulness when I experience myself as not being in control of a situation, where I believe someone else is directing the situation and I am simply going with the flow of things, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resent the other being for being in control as I experience myself not being in control of the situation and thus I resent them within spitefulness for "taking away my power" instead of realizing that it is my responsibility to take control of the situation through/within/as taking control over myself, as being the directive principle of/as myself within my experience of/as myself, and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist in the idea/belief/experience that someone else is too much in control and that they are to blame/responsible for my experience of being out of control, thus abdicating my self responsibility and not allowing myself to see that only I am responsible for not being in control within/as a situation and within this realization I recognize that I am responsible to see the point that I have given away my power in regards to, and claim it back through walking it within stopping the beliefs that I don't have power through supporting myself with writing the points out and applying self forgiveness and corrective statements as to pave the path before me to self change, as to be able to claim back my power that I have given away
For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Monday, October 29, 2012
This blog is a follow up from my previous blog
Day 69 - Friendship - Part 11 – Spitefulness – Part 1
Day 70 - Spitefulness - Part 2 - Self Forgiveness
Day 71 - Spitefulness - Part 3 - Self Commitments
Day 72 – Spitefulness – Part 4 – More Characters – Self Forgiveness
Day 73 - Spitefulness - Part 5 – Self Commitments
Day 74 - Spitefulness - Part 6 - Self Forgiveness
Judgment - Being corrected - Not trusting - Fair game - Being miss treated
I commit myself to investigate within self honesty all points of judgment within me that I participate within, I commit myself to stop myself within breath and bring myself back here to the physical when/as I see myself participating within and going into judgment, I commit myself to investigate the social norm I have accepted as myself as well as the value system and to apply "critical thinking" as I evaluate the social norm/value system to see wither it is actually best for all, within this I commit myself to show/expose all points within it that are not aligned with what is best for all, as the example of allowing judgment to exist within it, and so, I commit myself to align myself as I change myself to that which is best for all, and atop within myself all acceptance of social norm / value system that doesn't support all life as equal as one as what is best for all, within this I commit myself to stop myself as the spitefulness I have been existing as within the justification of the accepted and allowed judgment as part of the social norm / value system, and instead to support myself through breath as I have realized that any participation in spitefulness is in fact spiting myself as I deliberately justify and accept abuse/nastiness/evilness within me and the world as a whole, I commit myself to, when I judge someone as going out of line from the accepted social nor / value system to stop myself within breath and to investigate in the moment what is the actual source of the judgment as what am I showing myself within myself that I have allowed myself to judge, such as inferiority, superiority, desire for power/control and so on…
I commit myself to stop myself within breath when I see myself retaliating someone's behavior through the judgment and spiteful characters, within realizing that any retaliation is justifying/creating/accepting the existence of abuse/suffering/harm/evil and thus, I commit myself to do onto another that which I would like them to do onto myself and not the opposite as I do on to another within retaliation that which I judge them for as I do not want them to do on to myself
I commit myself to investigate within myself all points of comparison, as they indicate point I have not accepted as/within/about myself, and thus within allowing myself to participate within comparison I diminish myself as I accept myself as less than life, within this I commit myself to stop myself within/as comparison through bringing myself back here to the actual physical body, within/as breath, I commit myself to stop the self definition through comparison within the starting point of self judgment/diminishment, within this I commit myself to when I see myself going into spitefulness due to comparison I stop myself within realizing that I am "taking out" on the other my self judgment through spiting them, and thus not allowing myself to be here as self support as supporting them as life in every moment, thus accepting as myself a world of abuse/spitefulness/judgment, within this I commit myself to use comparison within a starting point of expansion as I see where I can expand and how I can perfect myself within/through the example of others, thus I change my point of view in regards to comparison from comparison based in judgment that allows spitefulness as an outflow, to comparison based on self perfection that allows myself to expand and be grateful
I commit myself to investigate myself as the self definition of myself, within realizing that to change myself to that which is best for all I must let go the current definition of myself and to do so I must first see how/what I have defined myself as, and thus I commit myself to use any points of comparison that come up within me as a tool to support myself in seeing the self belief I have been existing as, and within this to expose the religion of self that I have accepted as my self creation, and to allow myself to within writing/self forgiveness/commitment statement to create myself a new, as I birth myself as life from the very physical, as I stop myself as the mind and emerge as life
I commit myself to continue investigating within/as myself the point of reaction to being corrected, within this, I commit myself to stop myself within/as breath when I see myself react to being corrected and to within breath take in what is being said as it is a suggestion for improvement and to apply what I see relevant within common sense, thus being the directive principle of/as myself and not allow myself to be directed by the reaction that come up within me as ego, that turn into spitefulness for believing/experiencing my ego being hurt. I commit myself to through walking a process of writing the points out to myself to allow myself to be humble and accept anything said to me as a gift that I have the directive power to, as I open the gift, use it in any way I see fit, through utilizing common sense as what is here in the physical reality, within taking into consideration the entirety of the situation, and make a decision that support me as well as all as equals, I realize that any reaction to being corrected is of self interest within the desire to keep up a self definition I have created myself as, as a character/personality, and thus I commit myself to use the reactions I find myself participate within as gifts, showing me back to myself bringing more points of inner conflict up to my conscious awareness so that I can take self responsibility and walk through them within writing, self forgiveness, corrective statements.
I commit myself to building myself up as self trust through a process of allowing myself to see/face myself as who I am, through allowing myself to direct myself, thus I commit myself to let go the fear of failure that I have allowed to limit me as self expression, so that I can see who I am within self direction, so tat I can learn, like baby steps, how to direct myself, within realizing that if a baby would fear falling when they learn to walk, they will never learn to walk, and the same goes for me, if I fear falling as I learn to direct myself, I will never learn to direct myself, and thus I commit myself to stop myself within breath when thoughts of fear come up within me in regards to directing a point, I commit myself to take it slow, and allow myself to make mistakes as I realize that a mistake is just that where I miss take something, and thus I have the opportunity to correct myself and take it from a different angle.
I commit myself , when/as I see myself going into spitefulness so for not trusting someone, to stop myself and breathe, to investigate what is it about the situation that is showing me a point of not trusting myself, and within this, I commit myself to stop myself for a moment and see how I can address the situation without having to trust the other, but to use myself as self direction to guide me within/as the situation, and thus to place my trust on myself
I commit myself to further investigate the "fair game" construct/character that I have allowed myself to participate within, within realizing that te outflow of playing the fair game results in my participation within spitefulness/blame, within believing I am being wronged, within this I commit myself to stop myself within/as breath when/as I see myself go into my mind within thoughts/back chat of "it isn't fair" and to bring myself back here as the physical within/as breath, within realizing that fair is an idea/expectation I have created in my mind, and when looking at the physical reality one can clearly see that nothing is fair, as people starve to death, woman and children are being raped, people are being sent to die in war - life as we know it isn't fair, thus I commit myself to change myself as stopping the mind within realizing that the unfairness in this world is created by all of us, and only through stopping myself as un fair will I be able to direct change in this world, within this I commit myself to accept my responsibilities and not allow myself to go in my mind to the unfair game/character, but rather to commit myself on being here as the physical so that I can be aware and awake to see the actual unfair that is going on in this world and within myself as I participate in the unfair game - and to stop
I realize that as long as I have any form of self interest within me as the directive principle of me I cannot expect anything else from anybody else, and thus I commit myself to walk my process of stopping the mind, day by day, breath by breath, as I realize that self interest is a creation of/within the mind, and within self interest we all do what we can to win, to get the better hand, and thus to make the other the looser, our slave
I commit myself to breathe, I commit myself to breathe as I communicate with people, I commit myself to slow down within/as breath, I commit myself, when perceiving someone is mistreating me to stop myself in the moment and realize that any reaction to what another says/does is self created, and thus if I experience myself as being mistreated I commit myself to investigate the expectation I have placed as how I believe I should be treated, within this I commit myself to not allow myself to go into spitefulness towards the other because I realize as I go into spitefulness I am allowing myself to mistreat another wither in my thoughts/words or actions, within this I also realize that by going into spiteful I am accepting the idea of being mistreated and thus giving away my power as if someone else is responsible/creator of my experience, thus I bring myself back here, and breathe for as long as it may take for me to stabilize myself and stop the reaction within me
I commit myself to practice living the words as "do onto another what you would like them to do unto you" and within this I commit myself to humbleness, within being the "bigger person" not from perspective of comparison/competition, but rather from a perspective of living that which I want others to live, living the principle of equality, living the principle of love thy neighbor, and within this I realize there is no place for spitefulness to exist, thus I commit myself to stop myself again and again and again, within investigating each point through writing, self forgiveness and self commitments, until I stop fueling the character of spitefulness/nastiness/evil, until I stop.
For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Sunday, October 28, 2012
This blog is a follow up from my previous blog
Day 69 - Friendship - Part 11 – Spitefulness – Part 1
Day 70 - Spitefulness - Part 2 - Self Forgiveness
Day 71 - Spitefulness - Part 3 - Self Commitments
Day 72 – Spitefulness – Part 4 – More Characters – Self Forgiveness
Day 73 - Spitefulness - Part 5 – Self Commitments
I've been writing out many points/characters that are related to spitefulness, characters that when I go into them I allow myself to become spiteful, characters that I use as justification for my spitefulness/nastiness/evilness
I realize this is just the tip of the ice burg since all these characters are a whole construct within themselves, and thus in this spitefulness series blog I am just referring to how the relate directly to spitefulness, though I realize that in time I will investigate each of them individually as to be able to stop them and the outflow of spitefulness more effectively.
Judgment - Being corrected - Not trusting - Fair game - Being miss treated
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within/as judgment, where I scan a persons looks/behavior/words and place a judgment on them as good/bad, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself judge their looks/behavior/words based on an accepted social norm as a value system without having investigated the implications of such social norms as value system, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept the social norms as a guide line to what/how things/people should be and when I find someone stepping out of these lines I judge them for it, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to spite that which I judge as a way to establish perceived order in the social norm and value system that is being disrupted by these being which I judge, in other words, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to spite that which I judge within allowing myself to be the judge and place the punishment for the disruption of order, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use spite as a form of retaliation towards that which is not aligned with the social norm that I have accepted as my own
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use this judgment as a point of comparison as a way to define myself as better/worse than the person I am judging and thus to place my self definition on how I perceive others to be and how I compare to them, while not seeing the mirror dimension within the judgment construct, as I am seeing in them that which I believe I lack in myself, or that which I judge within myself, thus not allowing myself to see that the judgment is actually showing me back to myself and not really indicating anything about the other, within not allowing myself to realize this point, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go from judgment/comparison/self definition to spitefulness towards the other being, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe the judgment and thus to believe the comparison as self definition, and within believing myself to be inferior/superior to the other being I allow myself to spite them as a way to enforce my power over them, either in my mind as thoughts or in actuality as words/actions, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resort to spitefulness as a point of actually wanting/desiring to harm/hurt/abuse this being based on the judgment I have placed and in complete disregard of them as the totality of them as life as equal to me
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react within/as a negative energetic reaction when being corrected, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to spite the being that is correcting me because I have taken the correction personally, as if they have corrected me to spite me, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed by the circumstances as how others communicate with me, and to allow myself to react to their words, as I take it personally and believe that I have done something wrong and should thus be ashamed instead of looking at the point and seeing within common sense if I can in fact correct myself within it, within the negative experience of shame I blame the other being for creating this experience within me, not realizing that I am self responsible for all allowed experiences within/as myself, and thus within believing they are to blame for my bad feeling I spite them in my mind/words/actions, wanting to hurt/harm them as to retaliate for the bad experience they gave me, thus doing onto them the very thing I took personally within believing they corrected me within spite
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to spite beings that I don't trust, as a form of self protection, in the sense of not trusting what they say or how they behave, within believing they have hidden agendas and thus within the fear of being conned I spite them not realizing that in fact I am showing myself that I don't trust myself to, in every moment, be able to see the common sense of the situation and direct myself accordingly, thus I project the lack of self trust onto them, as I fear trusting them, and within living in this fear I am spiteful towards them. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe others should be trust worthy when I haven't allowed myself yet to build trust within myself, and thus as I don't trust others I am reminded of not trusting myself and thus I am spiteful towards the for "putting me" in this position of seeing myself as lack of self trust
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in the "fair game" where I believe I am being wronged/exploited and thus believe it to not be fair, within believing "this isn't fair" I blame the other being for participating/creating the unfair situation and thus I spite them for that, allowing myself to think nasty thought about how they are doing me wrong, and allow myself to speak nasty words and act in nasty behaviors within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to when perceiving someone has done me wrong to allow myself to do wrong unto them within my thoughts/words/actions and thus not live up to my own expectations of another, and not live up to the value/principle of living as what is best for all, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be supportive of another as myself only if they are worthy of it within my interpretation, and if they are un fair I deem them unworthy and allow myself to spite them
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to perceive situations as if I am Being miss treated, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take other people's behaviors personally within expecting them to treat me a=in a certain way that I have defined as good/nice, within this I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to be here as breath no matter what and instead I have allowed myself to manipulate myself into emotional energetic reactions when I perceive someone is mistreating me, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to turn to spitefulness and deliberately allow myself to miss treat others in my thoughts/words and actions as I believe they are doing to me, not realizing that by participating within/as spitefulness I am creating and recreating the cycle of abuse, instead of allowing myself to through communication and in regards to the other being in the situation, support myself and the other to clear up the point and put it on the table, so to speak, instead of going at it in my mind, that in turn effect my actions/behavior as I allow myself to treat another how I wouldn't want to be treated myself
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use spitefulness as a tool to pay back all of those who I blame to have done me wrong, not realizing that by participating within spitefulness I am not standing in alignment within/as myself as I do onto another the very thing I do not want them to do onto me, this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use justifications for allowing myself to be spiteful as I realize that there is no excuse, and no justification that validates being spiteful/nasty/evil towards another, within this I forgive myself for not allowing myself to see and consider that every time I am being spiteful towards another I am actually spiteful towards myself as I deliberately hurt/abuse myself within participating with the mind and thus separating me from myself, as well as creating the obvious consequences of regretting my participation within spitefulness within creating within me an experience of shame, within this I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to stop spitefulness within the realization that nothing good can come out of it, all I am doing within spitefulness is feeding my addiction to energy through believing the justifications and validating and allowing myself to spite others to then spite myself within shame and regret and within allowing myself to exist in a misalignment within myself as I am allowing myself to do that which I judge as evil
For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Saturday, October 27, 2012
This blog is a follow up from my previous blog
Day 69 - Friendship - Part 11 – Spitefulness – Part 1
Day 70 - Spitefulness - Part 2 - Self Forgiveness
Day 71 - Spitefulness - Part 3 - Self Commitments
Day 72 – Spitefulness – Part 4 – More Characters – Self Forgiveness
Blame – Annoyance – Superiority – Inferiority - Worthlessness
I commit myself to stop myself as thoughts, to stop myself within a self directive decision as not allowing myself to go into my thoughts as I have realized their evil/abusive nature, I commit myself to breathe and bring myself back here time and time again, for as long as it takes, until I have stopped my addiction to thoughts/feelings/emotions as the mind, I commit myself to stop the energetic addiction of the mind through stopping myself as the thoughts coming up in my mind as justifications/blame/spitefulness within realizing that all these mind components are designed to generate the energy within me, within self interest to feed my addiction, to justify myself so that I never have to change, I realize this will be a process of withdrawal as it is with stopping any addiction thus I commit myself to push through and continue walking, as stopping myself until I am no more directed by the self interest of the mind
I commit myself to investigate any/all spiteful thoughts I have allowed myself to participate within, and within that to investigate all points where I still fall in the pattern/addiction of spitefulness, and within that to find the actual source as driving force that I have allowed myself to be directed by, and stop myself from allowing myself to continue being directed like a puppet on strings, I commit myself to utilize breath as self support and within this to always direct myself back to the physical as what is actually here as life, and not allow myself to be distracted/tempted by the realm of the mind, as I know it's a one way road to hell in the sense of - through allowing myself to separate myself from myself as life, through allowing myself to participate within/as the mind as thoughts/feelings/emotions, through not being directive principle in every moment, I have allowed myself to be nasty/spiteful/evil and thus due to actually knowing and being aware of all that I am beneath my mask and act of ignorance there builds up shame/guilt/regret for not stopping - thus within not stopping, I realize I will create my own personal hell of shame/guilt/regret, because beneath this lie, I know I am life, I know my thoughts are running around within the self interest and disregarding myself as life and all as life as equals - thus I commit myself to stop
I commit myself to show that all thoughts are evil in nature, and all thoughts are motivated by self interest, and that within allowing ourselves to participate in thoughts, within allowing ourselves to participate in the spiteful back chat of our hidden mind, we are actually creating this world as evil/abusive/spiteful, and thus we are each responsible to stop ourselves within/as our participation of/within the mind, to be able to walk the first step in bringing about a world that supports life, as well as walking the first step of birthing ourselves as beings that are worthy of life
I commit myself to investigate within myself all points of blame, because I realized that all blame is me hiding from me as not taking self responsibility for that which I am in fact responsible for, I commit myself to stopping myself within breath when I see myself going into blame and to breathe as long as it takes to stop the blame possession from taking over, I coming myself to not allow myself to go into spitefulness based in blame because I realize this is deceptive act getting me to lose track of what really matters which is my responsibility, by placing it on someone else and using that as justification to poison myself and existence as a whole with my spiteful thoughts/words/deeds, thus bringing myself to a point of evil, of acting out the very thing I blame another for, I commit myself to build myself as self integrity through stopping myself from participating in that which I blame others for, which is that which is unacceptable as it is based in abuse/evil/spitefulness
I commit myself to show that any form of blame is done within spitefulness, within placing self's responsibility on another and thus spiting self through deliberately abdicating self responsibility and hiding from self within separation through participation within the mind as thoughts such as blame, within this I commit myself to show that participating with blame is directly accepting abuse to exist within participating in the spiteful thoughts towards another within realizing that spiteful actions come from and are a direct result of spiteful thoughts and thus to ensure spitefulness/abuse stop we must stop all thoughts
I commit myself to use annoyance as a gift, as a tool for self realization and thus self support, to through annoyance see who I am allowing myself to be and what I have allowed to have directive principle over me in becoming annoyed by external trigger, and thus within realizing the points of trigger to see what I am actually showing myself within myself, and thus I commit myself to investigate all points of annoyance and atop myself within/as breath when I see myself going into annoyance as to not allow the experience of annoyance to direct me, and thus to become the directive principle of/as myself, directing myself within the principle of equality and oneness as what is best for all
I commit myself to humble myself within/as breath, when I see myself going into superiority, within realizing that superiority is a survival mechanism I have accepted as myself to cover up the experience of inferiority I have allowed myself to exist as, and thus I commit myself to use points of superiority to show myself back to myself, to allow myself to see the point I believe I am better than another and within that the point I fear being less than another and to within seeing these points to forgive myself for accepting myself to exist within the specific polarity of more/less within forgiving the value system I am basing this polarity on, within realizing that any polarity is of the mind, within this I commit myself to investigate the value systems I have allowed myself to participate within and accept as valid due to realizing that all values that are enforced by society are in fact based on self interest and the deception within living as an accepted norm within competition and lacking any self honesty as self expression, and further more lacking the principle of life as equality and oneness
I commit myself to stop myself within/as breath when I see myself going into inferiority towards another and to investigate the point within writing myself to freedom through self forgiveness as to free myself from the perceived inferiority as I have realized it is limiting me and diminishing me and has no value within my process except keeping me enslaved to/as the mind within limitation, within this I commit myself to if/when I see myself going into spitefulness towards the being I am experiencing myself inferior to, to stop myself at the moment, to not allow myself to participate within spiteful thoughts/words/actions because I know this is self deception and creating conflict and abuse and in any way doesn't support myself nor the other as life within our process of life, I commit myself to investigate points of inferiority and to bring myself to a point of equality within myself and existence as a whole
I commit myself to stop participating within/as worthlessness, returning to the physical within/as breath, within realizing that the experience of being worthless is a back door of taking self responsibility within believing myself to be a victim of life, thus not allowing myself to direct myself as life, one and equal to/as life, thus I commit myself to show that any experience of self worthlessness is self manipulation keeping self trapped within/as the mind, a trap created by self and thus can be ended by self, within realizing that I am responsible for/as myself and thus I have the opportunity in every breath to live a life a worth through establishing myself as a being that support myself, that supports all other beings in my immediate environment, that support all life as equals - that is a life worth living, a life that holds no regret within the self trust that self is doing all within the principle of supporting life, and walking life breath by breath, and thus I commit myself to walk breath by breath, and to direct myself to support myself within self honesty, within stopping the mind/thoughts/spitefulness and returning to myself as the physical, as reality, as life
For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Friday, October 26, 2012
This blog is a follow up from my previous blog
Day 69 - Friendship - Part 11 – Spitefulness – Part 1
Day 70 - Spitefulness - Part 2 - Self Forgiveness
Day 71 - Spitefulness - Part 3 - Self Commitments
Just to be clear with myself as to what i am writing about: the definition of “spite” from online dictionary - Spite - Malicious ill will prompting an urge to hurt or humiliate.
I am continuing with the character of spitefulness and how I have created it through using it as an outflow of participation within other characters, on tonight's blog I will address the following characters that I found I fall into and in turn accept myself as spiteful
Blame – Annoyance – Superiority – Inferiority – Worthlessness
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in spitefulness wither thoughts/words/actions/behavior, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in a deliberate harmful/abusive thought/word/deed not taking into consideration the consequences of such participation within myself, the other and existence as a whole, within not realizing that by participating within/as spitefulness I am giving my allowance for all spitefulness to exist within the principle of as within so without, and thus by not allowing myself to stop myself as spitefulness I allow the construct of spitefulness to continue everywhere, thus I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to push/will myself to stop myself as spitefulness due to realizing that the responsibility goes much further beyond my privet experience, there is an outflow that effects everything and everyone, and thus I am responsible to stop myself or live with the regret for not stopping and allowing it/myself to continue
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to when/as I go into the blame character within believing that someone had done me wrong, or had done something that they shouldn't have, or that they are responsible for some form of consequence that is not in my best interest, I allow myself to go into spitefulness towards them, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use blame as a justification for me to be spiteful towards another being, through believing they did something wrong within judging them in my mind and while accepting the blame/judgment I then allow myself to participate in harmful/abusive thoughts/words/actions towards them, as allowing myself a form of poetic justice within believing they are to blame and thus I spite them as punishment/revenge/deliberate consequences
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become annoyed by others for various reasons and within becoming annoyed at them, within believing that they are the cause of my annoyance, within judging them for not being as I wish them to be for me not to get annoyed, within justifying myself within accepting the annoyance due to how they are / how they express themselves what they are doing, I then allow myself to spite them in my mind as thoughts of wanting to hard them, wanting them to experience the uncomfortability/pain I am experiencing, not allowing myself to see for one moment that I am the only one responsible for my reactions/feelings/emotions, and thus if I am experiencing annoyance I must look within self and investigate why/how I have created this experience within/as myself, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to investigate the point of annoyance and go automatically to spitefulness while not allowing myself to face myself and bring myself to a point of change within taking self responsibility of/for myself in every thought/word/action/experience within/as me
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within spitefulness from a starting point of superiority, where I have defined myself as better then the other person and thus experience myself as superior due to specific criteria, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, when such people that I experience myself as superior to, do something that justifies my superiority, as in proves my superiority to be correct, I go into spitefulness and allow myself to spite the in my thoughts/words/actions, where I, through expressing spitefulness towards them within or without, show to myself/others how much more I am then the other being through allowing myself to spite them as it is interpreted by me as a form of power, thus proving my superiority
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within/as spitefulness towards people that I experience myself as inferior to within allowing myself to compare myself to them and exist within constant competition with them of which I always perceive myself as the loser, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame them within myself within believing that they are doing it to me, and thus I allow myself to spite them to show myself within my mind that I am able to hurt them and thus am not actually inferior
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience myself as worthless, and within that experience being bad/negative I want to stop it within self interest, and thus I turn to spitefulness as a point of showing myself that I have worth through being able to hurt others, thus validating myself as worth living through my ability of hurting/abusing another as if in a way the ability to have an effect on another is proof that I am alive, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to allow the mind experience of unworthiness to bring me to a position that I don't care about what harm/abuse I create as long as I have an effect as that will prove to me that I have value
Thursday, October 25, 2012
This blog is a follow up from my previous blog
Day 69 - Friendship - Part 11 – Spitefulness – Part 1
Day 70 - Spitefulness - Part 2 - Self Forgiveness
Today I am walking the corrective statements on the self forgiveness I wrote on yesterday's blog, regarding the characters that I have been participating within and that have been the source/justification for the spiteful character
I commit myself to continue investigating/forgiving the point of spitefulness that I have allowed myself to exist as, and to through writing, self forgiveness, corrective statement, walk myself into correcting, through supporting myself within/as breath as I see myself go into the character of spitefulness wither within thoughts as back chat, words or deeds, thus I commit myself, through writing and exposing to myself the dimension of spitefulness, to build up my awareness of myself as to be able to see the character of spiteful and stop it before I actually act on it, and continue investigating the point until I have walked it and have stopped myself from all/any participation within/as the character of spitefulness, as it is completely unacceptable and only designed to create conflict within and without as a way to tempt me and others to participate within/as energy which is designed to consume the physical as ourselves and to separate us from being here as the physical as life
I commit myself to investigate myself within/as competition as I realize that there is no justification for competition as it creates a world of winners and losers and thus can never be of actually of support to all as equals, thus any participation within competition is by definition destructive/abusive/evil, and thus I commit myself to stop myself through applying the desteni tools, and within that I commit myself to when seeing myself going into spitefulness within the character of competition to stop myself within/as breath as i have realized that it is a dead end in terms of nothing supportive will come out of it, it is a loop of spitefulness that ends with just more spitefulness and thus pointless and unnecessary
I commit myself to stop myself within/as breath when/as I see myself going into the character of arrogance, I commit myself to further investigate the character of arrogance as to be able to see it's dimensions and within seeing allowing myself to stop myself at earlier and earlier stages of my participation/creation within/as this character, within this, I commit myself to stop myself within/as breath when/as I see myself going into spitefulness through the character of arrogance, as I have seen, realized and understood that it is a construct/design that I am participating within to create an energetic reaction within me and the other, thus supporting the mind as it feeds off of what is actually here as the physical, I commit myself to stop myself from participating within/as spitefulness/arrogance, because I realize I have been doing so to present/experience myself as powerful, as a cover up of the actual inner experience of inferiority/weakness that I have created myself as and have allowed myself to exist as, within this I commit myself to, any time I see myself going into/participation within arrogance/sinfulness to stop myself within breath and take a look at what am I trying to hide from myself within the actual experience of myself of inferiority/worthlessness , I commit myself to investigate why/how I have defined myself as more/better than the other through which I have allowed myself to believe myself to be more than them, because I realize that it is merely a mind construct/design created by myself through copying from those around me, within trying to present myself as more than, instead of realizing equality and living as what is bets for all within support for all as equals
I commit myself to further investigate the point of impatience within me, within the character of impatience I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into and express myself as spitefulness, not realizing that the point of impatience is created by myself within/as myself and thus acting in spitefulness indicates that I am blaming the other for creating the experience of impatience within me, thus not taking self responsibility for the totality of myself within realizing that no one else can create an experience within me but me, so within this I commit myself to when/as I see myself going into impatience I stop myself within/as breath, I bring myself back here to the physical body which is the reality of myself, I allow myself to take the point back to self and look at what have I allowed to trigger within me the character of impatience and within seeing the point of trigger to forgive myself for it and let it go, to bring myself to a point of total self directive principle as not allowing any external trigger to direct me as the experience of myself, within this I commit myself to stop the link between impatience and spitefulness because I realize that through it I am creating another layer within myself as separation of/from myself, so I breathe, I stop, I investigate, until I am walking, clear, as breath, here, as life.
I commit myself to further investigate the point of jealousy, I realize that any jealousy within me is a projection of self judgment onto another within spitefulness, and this is unacceptable, I commit myself to stop myself within/as breath when/as I see myself going into the back chat/thoughts of jealousy where I compare myself to another and perceive them to be/have all that I want to be/have, within this I commit myself to if/when I see myself going into jealousy, I stop and breathe, I allow myself to investigate the point of accepted self judgment within/as myself, I realize it is not about the other being, they are merely a reflection/mirror supporting me to see/face myself as who I have accepted and allowed myself to be and exist as, thus I commit myself to realize this point of jealousy as support, as it is what is here and thus I can work with it in seeing another layer/pattern/behavior/character of myself, and thus I am grateful for any experience of jealousy that come up and commit myself to walk through it within writing/self forgiveness/corrective statements to see what am I jealous of, what am I showing myself what have I been hiding from myself through automatically going into spitefulness and not staying with my focus on myself but diverting my focus on the other which is simply here as support as a mirror - always showing me myself, if I allow myself to open my eyes and see
I commit myself to further investigate the point/character of revenge within me, I commit myself to stop myself within/as breath when I see myself going into the character of revenge within thoughts/words/actions as expressed within the spiteful character, within realizing that any point of revenge is created through blame and abdication of self responsibility within allowing abuse, within this I commit myself to stopping myself within the desire to hurt another within spitefulness/abuse due to the justification that they deserve it as revenge because I believe they have done me wrong, within this I commit myself to stop myself from judging others due to realizing that my reaction towards them and allowing myself to blame them is a point of not facing myself within self honesty, within this I realize that I must focus on myself and walk my own process first, that means that each and every reaction I have towards another is an opportunity for me to come closer to myself, so to speak, and allow my to see more of me as who I have created myself as and have been hiding this creation from myself, within this I commit myself to stop myself as revenge from a starting point of realizing that I do not know/see the entirety of the other being, thus do not see the big picture of who they are, and within this through revenge spitefulness I am allowing myself to limited them into/as a one dimensional idea I have created about them and within this idea have decided upon myself to revenge their actions, instead of simply stopping, breathing, bringing myself back to myself and working out my shit before I preaching/judging others, within this I realize that only through first seeing/facing myself and recognizing the entire patterns I have created and have been participating within will I even be able to actually support another to seeing themselves through being a living example of living what is best for all, including that which I currently judge and want to revenge, only once I can live as equal to all that I perceive as evil, and thus allow myself to see the evil within me, can I support another to see the evil within themselves, I commit myself to walk my own process, until I have proven to myself self stability
I commit myself to stop myself within/as breath when I see memories of others being spiteful towards me start coming up as a self justification paving the way for the spitefulness to follow, within this I commit myself to stop the memories and not allow myself to go into them, and believe them, I have realize that the memory is tainted with the experience I allowed myself to have in that moment and within that have placed the blame on another instead of taking self responsibility in the very moment the event occurred, and thus the memory is not valid because it has been stored within a starting point of self dishonesty, thus I commit myself to stop the memory and forgive myself for holding onto it, until I am clear and am walking within/as breath and not being interrupted by memories of the past, coming to hunt me and create conflict/friction within/as myself and my relationships
I commit myself to investigate the point of limitation within allowing myself to believe that another being can limit me in any way, not realizing that any experience of limitation is self created and thus only I am responsible for it, within this I commit myself to when I see myself becoming spiteful towards another for perceiving them to be limiting me I stop myself and breath, I bring myself back here and look at reality for what it is and show myself until I actually get it and integrate it as myself that no one is actually limiting me but me, and within believing another is limiting me I am actually showing myself points/character of inferiority that I have allowed myself to exist as, and thus I commit myself to investigate the points within self honesty as only through seeing the specifics of each point will I be able to free myself from the limitations I have created myself as, as the mind, and within showing myself the self created limitation I can take direction of/as myself and stop being directed by/as the mind as limitation/inferiority
I commit myself to stopping myself as the character of blame because I realize it is a self manipulation tactic to keep me from taking self responsibility for/as myself in every moment within realizing that only I am responsible for myself, and in a grater scale responsible for everything in existence as myself, and thus I commit myself to stop blame within/as breath because as long as I blame I am not allowing myself to see the real true evil nature of myself as I turn the focus on others to carry the blame instead of looking at it practically within common sense and seeing what is my responsibility of/in regards to the situation
I commit myself to walk the point of spitefulness until I am clear and do not participate within it any more, I realize this will take time, as it took many years for me to design myself as the character and thus I realize the many layers/dimensions this character holds within/as it, within/as myself, and thus I commit myself to walk humbly, patiently, slowly, forgiving myself for point by point by point, while allowing myself to go into all the layers/characters/acceptances of weakness/inferiority/worthlessness/fear that I have allowed myself to exist as and thus to direct me - no more, I commit myself to through walking this process within utilizing the tools provided of writing, self forgiveness and commitment statements, to walk myself free of the limitations/beliefs I have created as myself, to stop myself as the religion of self I have allowed myself to exist as, to stand up as life, to breathe, to acknowledge my physical body and existence as a whole, and to walk until it is done, until I am no more reacting from an automated response program, until I am no longer participating in anything that is not supporting all as life as equals, until I am here in every breath, within self trust, walking what is best for all and living as a living example of life
For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
This blog is a follow up from my previous blog
Day 69 - Friendship - Part 11 – Spitefulness – Part 1
The point of spitefulness opened up through writing about friendships, as I have exposed to myself the point of spitefulness within friendships. While writing I found myself going into resistance towards opening up the point, I wrote and deleted and wrote and deleted, thus i saw that this point needs direct attention and deeper investigation.
I realize this resistance is here to "protect" myself from the perspective of protecting the who I am as the characters of the mind, as the personalities I have created myself as, protecting myself form not admitting myself as spiteful and thus not having to change - this resistance is the mind's attempt to sabotage my self realization. Within realizing this, I know I must push through this point, I must face myself, I must let go the judgment/shame that I have manipulated myself into using as a shield protecting me from myself, and allow myself to humbly see me as who I have accepted myself to become within participating with and creating nastiness/spitefulness/evil, so that through seeing, allowing myself to forgive myself and correct myself within the principle of that which is best for all - which is defiantly NOT spitefulness.
I took a look at all my relationships to see where and why I have allowed myself to go into and participate with spitefulness . The reasons/justifications for spitefulness are many, each one of them is a character in itself, but here I will just address them in respect to spitefulness, and make note to myself to go into them further in blogs to come, so here goes:
Competition
Arrogance
Impatience
Jealousy
Revenge
Limitation
Blame
Annoyance
Superiority
Inferiority
Worthlessness
Judgment
Being corrected
Not trusting
Fare game
Being miss treated
Desire approval
Abuse for sense of power
Passing on the energy of inferiority/anger
Expectation
Disappointment
Believing I am not loved
Manipulation
Control
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within/as spitefulness as a deliberate action/thought intended to hurt/harm/abuse another
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within/as spitefulness/nastiness towards people I have created a competition towards, and within the competition I see myself as the loser and thus spite them as a form of regaining my power back through thinking nasty thoughts in my hidden mind, or actually speaking the words or acting out on the spitefulness, as a way to weaken the other in my mind or actually through their reaction to my words/deeds, and thus I use spitefulness to weaken/harm/abuse the other, to place myself in a better position within the mind created competition
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to think/speak/act within spitefulness from a starting point of arrogance, as I see myself as more than the other as I have defined them as stupid/slow, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define a multi dimensional being in a one dimension definition within a deliberate act of spitefulness to limit them in my mind and to be able to place them in a box as to get rid of the complexity of the multi-dimetionality and to justify myself within the belief that they are in fact that which I defined them as, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define others in such ways that I will feel empowered/stronger, and thus to live out this desire of power I think/speak/act within spitefulness towards them, as to prove to myself the position of power that I so very much desire, at the expense of them and in complete disregard of them as multi-dimetional and equal beings, not considering them at all and the abuse/harm I am causing in their lives and within their process
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within/as spitefulness within a starting point of impatience as I believe myself to be more than the other and thus within disregarding them as equal beings as life, and thus I allow myself to participate within impatience and express it through thoughts/words/deeds within spitefulness, to make sure the other being is aware of my experience of impatience as a way to make them feel small/valueless/worthless and thus on the other side I can feel strong/valuable/worthy
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/speak/act within spitefulness within the starting point of jealousy, as I find myself jealous of another being and experience myself as less than them, thus I turn to spitefulness as a way to hurt them as I hold them responsible and blame them for my experience of jealousy, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that the experience of jealousy is self created and not done to me by anyone but myself, and thus participating in spitefulness towards another is a form of abdicating self responsibility as I have not taken responsibility for the construct of jealousy that I have been participating with, but instead take it out on them within spitefulness, not realizing that it is I who have defined myself as less than them, while using them as an object to project my self abuse as my experience of inferiority/worthlessness, thus using them as a tool in my life to abuse them in order to experience momentarily the power that I have denied from myself through self diminishment and self judgment
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/speak/act within spitefulness within the starting point of revenge, where I experience another being spiteful towards me, and I resent them for that, as I have reacted and have taken their spitefulness personally instead of allowing myself to see the construct they are participating within and stop myself from reacting through realizing that it isn't in fact personal but just a mind game within the intention to get me to react, and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to spitefulness out of deliberate ignorance as to why the other is being spiteful, and within accepted ignorance I have allowed myself to spite them back and thus participate in spitefulness myself even though I have experienced it's harmful/abusive nature, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ignore the "cry for help" within another's spitefulness as I now realize that any spitefulness is an expression of self worthlessness/inferiority/judgment, and thus any being that is spiteful is in fact not allowing themselves to express/face themselves in a supportive way, thus instead of supporting them as myself to see themselves to realize themselves as equals as life, I use it against them because I as well have not yet realized myself as life, and I spite them back as revenge to feel an experience of power/control, to cover up my own self diminishment/inferiority
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto memories of experiencing others being spiteful towards me and to bring up these memories within myself and use them as leverage for revenge, justifying to myself that it's ok for me to be spiteful because they were spiteful in the past so I get to do it too, creating within this a value system of revenge, as if someone had done me wrong I can do it as well, instead of seeing the harm/abuse of spitefulness as I have experienced it for myself and allowing myself to be the one to stop the "back and forth" game of spitefulness, a game where we all are losers, as we are all diminishing ourselves and each other in order to play, thus not allowing ourselves to see ourselves as equal and to thus support ourselves as life, but instead to abuse/harm within spitefulness/nastiness based on a value system that approves and validates revenge
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/speak/act within spitefulness within the starting point of limitation, where I have perceive myself to being limited by another, while not allowing myself to see that the experience of limitation is self inflicted, and thus I blame the other for creating the experience of limitation within myself, and allow myself to go into the character of self victimization, instead of standing up within/as myself and stopping the experience of limitation, within seeing reality for what it is within/as the physical, and taking into consideration only physical limitation as reality, while realizing that any experience of limitation is just that, an experience, thus created within/as the mind and is not tangible as the physical, thus not real as the physical, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe the experience of limitation to be real, and thus to blame others for creating this experience within myself, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in spitefulness towards these beings while using blame as justification as to why I am allowed to spite them, within this I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I am in fact only spiting myself for not allowing myself to see that I am the one creating the experience of limitation within/as myself, and thus through allowing myself to participate in blame and spitefulness I distract myself from seeing that I am in fact the source for my experience and thus have the power to stop myself within and as breath, as a self directive decision, instead of continuing the cycle of self abuse as I allow myself to abuse others on the way
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/speak/act within spitefulness within the starting point of blame, where I blame another for doing something wrong, I judge them for what they have done, I blame them for being the cause of my experiencing
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realize and understand that all spitefulness is sourced within fear/inferiority/worthlessness that I have accepted as myself and is designed to create the polarity of these inner experiences as I create them in other beings, and thus participate/create/enhance the cycle of evil through passing on the torch of fear/inferiority/worthlessness while not actually letting go of it, but only duplicating it in lives of others while still holding on to my own, because I haven't in fact dealt with the point of fear/inferiority/worthlessness, thus I am still limited/directed by it, and so within spitefulness I duplicate the negative energy within myself and within others, instead of standing up for life and stopping the cycle of abuse, not allowing myself to see, realize and understand the vast consequences of participation with energy, as I allow it to consume myself as the physical, as it consumes myself in every moment within preoccupying myself through spiteful thoughts and fear of spitefulness, and thus not allows me to be here as breath, living a life that is worth living within/as the physical body, as the reality of me
corrective statements in the following blog, and then the next bunch of characters that the spiteful character latches onto.
stay tuned
For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
