Friday, October 19, 2012
continue from my previous blogs:
Day 59 - Redefining friendship
Day 60 - friendship - Part 2 - Care and Support
Day 61 - Friendship - Part 3 - Care and Support - Self Forgiveness
Day 62 - Friendship - Part 4 – Limitation
Day 63 - Friendship - Part 5 – Quality Time
Day 64 - Friendship - Part 6 - Quality time - Self Forgiveness
Friendships could have been so much more than what they are, they could be a truly great foundation for self exploration within self support, while sharing with each other the self realizations and supporting each other to go deeper within ourselves, to assist each other to face ourselves within taking self responsibility for who we are and just be here together, walking the process of life together, but instead it is a place to hide from ourselves through entertainment, while participating in consumerism at it's finest, existing in a bubble that separate us, within our friendship from the rest of the world, including ourselves and each other.
Within the point of spending time together, I see the point of consumerism, because most of these activities that friends do together, cost money, such as going to the movies, having a drink, going dancing, going to a concert… and I haven't even mentioned yet the "gift" industry as for holidays and birthdays…
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see and realize that the construct of friendship as it has been "marketed" by society has been within the starting point of supporting consumerism, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in the construct of friendship as I have learned it to be based on society and the media and within that to have participated and accepted the consumerism of friendship, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have made friendship as a commodity, within making it into a product of desire based on self interest, and within that creating myself as a product, trying to present myself, in order to sell myself to the highest price, as to whom I can get the most of within our friendship
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept the consumerism aspect of friendship within spending money on entertainment/activities/gifts, and I have never once questioned it within practical critical thinking through common sense as the reason and starting point of why it exists as such, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in consumerism as a form of escapism of the elite, not allowing myself to see the abusive and distractive nature such irresponsible consumerism has on the world and other beings within the world who are the slaves of the industry and manufacturing processes, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define friendship as a nice/beautiful construct that we are all lucky to be a part of while not taking into consideration the nasty/evil side of it within it silently being a way to support consumerism within this capitalistic money system that we exist as, and thus presenting itself, as the friendship construct, to be lovely and innocent while participating within and ignoring the atrocities of the world within it
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that within having to participate in consumerism as a way of entertainment to support the friendship construct I have accepted and allowed myself to diminish myself and my friends as myself to being puppets of/for marketing/advertisements, selling us the "good life" concept, convincing us that we would enjoy life more if we had a drink, went on vacation, saw a movie, went shopping, and within this I have closed my eyes deliberately to the abusive nature of the current capitalistic money system, that has only been driven by greed and self interest and never has actually considered life and aimed at supporting life, within this I forgive myself for not allowing myself to see that the nature of friendship as I have lived it has also been driven by greed and self interest and that would thus explain why consumerism and friendship go hand in hand - because they are both driven by the same force as the mind, as self interest/greed, and within that disregarding life as the actual driving force, as life is what is allowing us to be here, and breath, and thus within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to disregard life in the name of my search of happiness within the belief that through obtaining and maintaining friends I will be happy such as the belief that through consumerism I will be happy, while not allowing myself to see that as I allow myself to do anything necessary to obtain friendships, just as I consume products, I am in fact destroying myself as life
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to chase in every moment the enjoinment of the "good life" while disregarding everything that is going on in this one reality that is here, within this I forgive myself for allowing myself to use friendships as part of this construct of disregarding all that is here as abuse and suffering and manipulation and deception and basically an evil human nature that has been manifesting hell on earth, while I am comfortable within my friendships and consumerism due to having money as my security blanket separating me from all the atrocities that are existing in every moment all around me
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to instead of exploring myself within friendships, and exploring communication and the other being as myself, I have allowed myself to use friendships as a tool for consumerism, through going out and "enjoying" life by spending money, and within this I have not allowed myself to see the elitism within this that I have been participating with, and within that have excluded as my friends those that don't have the money to "enjoy" life, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in the friendship construct and accept it as an elitist construct, designed to allow the elite to spend more money through "enjoying" life together as friends, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see the deception within believing friendships to be a nice/lovely construct when in fact it is routed with the evil, abusive, excluding construct of the current money system as capitalism
I commit myself to stop myself from participating in the consumerism of friendship though establishing myself as an effective human being, through writing and applying self forgiveness/commitments, within this I commit myself to establish effective relationship/friendships that are based on honor/respect to ourselves as life and not based on consumerism/entertainment/escapism, as I have accepted and allowed them to be, I commit myself to do so through allowing myself to expose myself to myself within self honest self intimacy, and to others within self honest communication, as I realize that only through sharing myself within self honesty can I be a living example and not a preacher of an idea, and only through seeing another being, living self honestly, can one consider it for themselves, and thus, I commit myself to align myself, breath by breath, point by point, within patience and humbleness, to the principle of equality through investigating and stopping myself as the mind as self interest, as I realize the mind is a mirror design of consumerism within the capitalistic system as the main cause of abuse/suffering in existence, and so is the mind, the cause of all abuse/suffering within ourselves and within our relationships to all
I commit myself to stop myself from accepting friendship as a product and within that accepting myself as a product, thus I commit myself to breathe, and learn to respect myself as who I am, and to stop the dependency I have created myself as towards relationships/friendships, so that I can actually create real relationships/friendships that honor myself and the other as life
I commit myself to change all my relationships/friendships in to platforms of self support where I use the basic of communication to face myself within self honesty, to share myself and support myself and the other as myself, within this I commit myself to stop using relationships/friendships as a platform for consumerism as a way to hide from myself the actual greed, self interest and disregard of life that I have allowed myself to participate within/as and to achieve my desires as consumerism through masking it as participating in an innocent/loving friendship
I commit myself to open my eyes, and stop myself within the deliberate blindness that I have been participating in, as "out of sight, out of mind" within a self manipulation that if I don't trouble myself with the atrocities they will not exist in my world, but I haven't considered that there is only one existence that we all share and thus by ignoring what is here I am allowing it to continue and thus am a part of the problem, thus I commit myself to stop myself within the construct of ignorance within realizing that it is here wither I inform myself about it or not, and thus by not informing myself I am giving it my silent acceptance to go on, and by informing myself I can investigate the point within understanding myself as equal to all that is here and find practical solutions that can be physically implemented, such as the equal money system , to create a world that is worth living in as creating myself as a being that honors all life and thus is worthy of life
I commit myself to explore myself within relationships/friendships and allow myself to build communication that is based on self honest and self support, through stopping myself from putting consumerism as the basis of the relationship/friendship
I commit myself to stop myself within the addiction for "the good life", as the addiction to positive energy, as the addiction to sweets, I realize that all these “feel good” addictions are distracting me from investigating the evil of self, and thus ignoring the evil of existence, and thus not allowing myself to bring about a change within my life and the world as one
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