Monday, October 29, 2012
This blog is a follow up from my previous blog
Day 69 - Friendship - Part 11 – Spitefulness – Part 1
Day 70 - Spitefulness - Part 2 - Self Forgiveness
Day 71 - Spitefulness - Part 3 - Self Commitments
Day 72 – Spitefulness – Part 4 – More Characters – Self Forgiveness
Day 73 - Spitefulness - Part 5 – Self Commitments
Day 74 - Spitefulness - Part 6 - Self Forgiveness
Judgment - Being corrected - Not trusting - Fair game - Being miss treated
I commit myself to investigate within self honesty all points of judgment within me that I participate within, I commit myself to stop myself within breath and bring myself back here to the physical when/as I see myself participating within and going into judgment, I commit myself to investigate the social norm I have accepted as myself as well as the value system and to apply "critical thinking" as I evaluate the social norm/value system to see wither it is actually best for all, within this I commit myself to show/expose all points within it that are not aligned with what is best for all, as the example of allowing judgment to exist within it, and so, I commit myself to align myself as I change myself to that which is best for all, and atop within myself all acceptance of social norm / value system that doesn't support all life as equal as one as what is best for all, within this I commit myself to stop myself as the spitefulness I have been existing as within the justification of the accepted and allowed judgment as part of the social norm / value system, and instead to support myself through breath as I have realized that any participation in spitefulness is in fact spiting myself as I deliberately justify and accept abuse/nastiness/evilness within me and the world as a whole, I commit myself to, when I judge someone as going out of line from the accepted social nor / value system to stop myself within breath and to investigate in the moment what is the actual source of the judgment as what am I showing myself within myself that I have allowed myself to judge, such as inferiority, superiority, desire for power/control and so on…
I commit myself to stop myself within breath when I see myself retaliating someone's behavior through the judgment and spiteful characters, within realizing that any retaliation is justifying/creating/accepting the existence of abuse/suffering/harm/evil and thus, I commit myself to do onto another that which I would like them to do onto myself and not the opposite as I do on to another within retaliation that which I judge them for as I do not want them to do on to myself
I commit myself to investigate within myself all points of comparison, as they indicate point I have not accepted as/within/about myself, and thus within allowing myself to participate within comparison I diminish myself as I accept myself as less than life, within this I commit myself to stop myself within/as comparison through bringing myself back here to the actual physical body, within/as breath, I commit myself to stop the self definition through comparison within the starting point of self judgment/diminishment, within this I commit myself to when I see myself going into spitefulness due to comparison I stop myself within realizing that I am "taking out" on the other my self judgment through spiting them, and thus not allowing myself to be here as self support as supporting them as life in every moment, thus accepting as myself a world of abuse/spitefulness/judgment, within this I commit myself to use comparison within a starting point of expansion as I see where I can expand and how I can perfect myself within/through the example of others, thus I change my point of view in regards to comparison from comparison based in judgment that allows spitefulness as an outflow, to comparison based on self perfection that allows myself to expand and be grateful
I commit myself to investigate myself as the self definition of myself, within realizing that to change myself to that which is best for all I must let go the current definition of myself and to do so I must first see how/what I have defined myself as, and thus I commit myself to use any points of comparison that come up within me as a tool to support myself in seeing the self belief I have been existing as, and within this to expose the religion of self that I have accepted as my self creation, and to allow myself to within writing/self forgiveness/commitment statement to create myself a new, as I birth myself as life from the very physical, as I stop myself as the mind and emerge as life
I commit myself to continue investigating within/as myself the point of reaction to being corrected, within this, I commit myself to stop myself within/as breath when I see myself react to being corrected and to within breath take in what is being said as it is a suggestion for improvement and to apply what I see relevant within common sense, thus being the directive principle of/as myself and not allow myself to be directed by the reaction that come up within me as ego, that turn into spitefulness for believing/experiencing my ego being hurt. I commit myself to through walking a process of writing the points out to myself to allow myself to be humble and accept anything said to me as a gift that I have the directive power to, as I open the gift, use it in any way I see fit, through utilizing common sense as what is here in the physical reality, within taking into consideration the entirety of the situation, and make a decision that support me as well as all as equals, I realize that any reaction to being corrected is of self interest within the desire to keep up a self definition I have created myself as, as a character/personality, and thus I commit myself to use the reactions I find myself participate within as gifts, showing me back to myself bringing more points of inner conflict up to my conscious awareness so that I can take self responsibility and walk through them within writing, self forgiveness, corrective statements.
I commit myself to building myself up as self trust through a process of allowing myself to see/face myself as who I am, through allowing myself to direct myself, thus I commit myself to let go the fear of failure that I have allowed to limit me as self expression, so that I can see who I am within self direction, so tat I can learn, like baby steps, how to direct myself, within realizing that if a baby would fear falling when they learn to walk, they will never learn to walk, and the same goes for me, if I fear falling as I learn to direct myself, I will never learn to direct myself, and thus I commit myself to stop myself within breath when thoughts of fear come up within me in regards to directing a point, I commit myself to take it slow, and allow myself to make mistakes as I realize that a mistake is just that where I miss take something, and thus I have the opportunity to correct myself and take it from a different angle.
I commit myself , when/as I see myself going into spitefulness so for not trusting someone, to stop myself and breathe, to investigate what is it about the situation that is showing me a point of not trusting myself, and within this, I commit myself to stop myself for a moment and see how I can address the situation without having to trust the other, but to use myself as self direction to guide me within/as the situation, and thus to place my trust on myself
I commit myself to further investigate the "fair game" construct/character that I have allowed myself to participate within, within realizing that te outflow of playing the fair game results in my participation within spitefulness/blame, within believing I am being wronged, within this I commit myself to stop myself within/as breath when/as I see myself go into my mind within thoughts/back chat of "it isn't fair" and to bring myself back here as the physical within/as breath, within realizing that fair is an idea/expectation I have created in my mind, and when looking at the physical reality one can clearly see that nothing is fair, as people starve to death, woman and children are being raped, people are being sent to die in war - life as we know it isn't fair, thus I commit myself to change myself as stopping the mind within realizing that the unfairness in this world is created by all of us, and only through stopping myself as un fair will I be able to direct change in this world, within this I commit myself to accept my responsibilities and not allow myself to go in my mind to the unfair game/character, but rather to commit myself on being here as the physical so that I can be aware and awake to see the actual unfair that is going on in this world and within myself as I participate in the unfair game - and to stop
I realize that as long as I have any form of self interest within me as the directive principle of me I cannot expect anything else from anybody else, and thus I commit myself to walk my process of stopping the mind, day by day, breath by breath, as I realize that self interest is a creation of/within the mind, and within self interest we all do what we can to win, to get the better hand, and thus to make the other the looser, our slave
I commit myself to breathe, I commit myself to breathe as I communicate with people, I commit myself to slow down within/as breath, I commit myself, when perceiving someone is mistreating me to stop myself in the moment and realize that any reaction to what another says/does is self created, and thus if I experience myself as being mistreated I commit myself to investigate the expectation I have placed as how I believe I should be treated, within this I commit myself to not allow myself to go into spitefulness towards the other because I realize as I go into spitefulness I am allowing myself to mistreat another wither in my thoughts/words or actions, within this I also realize that by going into spiteful I am accepting the idea of being mistreated and thus giving away my power as if someone else is responsible/creator of my experience, thus I bring myself back here, and breathe for as long as it may take for me to stabilize myself and stop the reaction within me
I commit myself to practice living the words as "do onto another what you would like them to do unto you" and within this I commit myself to humbleness, within being the "bigger person" not from perspective of comparison/competition, but rather from a perspective of living that which I want others to live, living the principle of equality, living the principle of love thy neighbor, and within this I realize there is no place for spitefulness to exist, thus I commit myself to stop myself again and again and again, within investigating each point through writing, self forgiveness and self commitments, until I stop fueling the character of spitefulness/nastiness/evil, until I stop.
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