Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Day 28 - Having a bad day – part 2



Continuing from my previous blog: Day 27 - Having a bad day

I am not satisfied with the degree of self forgiveness I've done on the point of allowing myself to wallow in my own misery, instead of supporting myself to snap out of the mind and return to the physical, so here I am again, going further/deeper, to be satisfied that I have allowed myself to look at the full and complete point, within all the layers that open up here within/as myself within self-honesty
So here goes

Self-Forgiveness
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be possessed by emotional energy, not allowing myself to stop and breathe as self-support, within this I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that through breath I can bring myself back here within/as the physical and thus stop the mind as emotional possession, thus to stop feeding/fueling the mind through my participation but instead to stand as self-support as life and to stop emotionally manipulating myself by allowing myself to feel ‘bad’ / ‘depressed’ within and as myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not want to support myself to get out of the emotional possession within participating with an experience of giving up, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give up on myself within the addiction of emotional possession instead of pushing myself to support myself as life here, to push through the character of giving up and to instead stand up and breathe until the possession has gone

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to support myself through/as breath when experiencing an emotional possession but instead to wallow in my own misery as if enjoying myself as I give my power away to the mind as emotions and give up on myself as life

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to give up on myself as life within experiencing an emotional possession as justification of the character of not being able/strong enough to make process, thus every time I give up is like an approval of the self-belief that I will not make it, not realizing that every time I give up I am in fact giving my power away to the character of "I will not make it' and thus creating it as myself, instead of stopping myself as the character as I've realized that it isn't in fact me, but merely based on beliefs/conditions/limitations created by the self as the mind, and not based on equality and oneness as self- support as what is best for all

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed by the fear of exposing myself as character through not wanting to interact with the beings around me, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to defend and protect myself as the character that was showing itself within the emotional possession instead of taking the opportunity to actually face myself as the character I am showing myself and to investigate myself as the character, to forgive myself and take responsibility for/as the character within that very moment, to stop myself as the character and come back to the physical here as breath

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel pity towards myself within the emotional possession and to enjoy the character of being fragile/weak within the relationship I have created to the definition I have given the character of fragile/weak, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a positive feeling relationship to the character of being fragile/weak within the idea that when one is fragile/weak there are no expectation put on them and thus I see it as a point of not having to take self-responsibility, within this I  forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see within/as myself that I have used the character of being fragile/weak to allow myself to not take responsibility as if within this character I am not responsible for the consequences of my actions, when in fact it isn't so, I am responsible for myself at all times/situations and by creating a made up situation/character of being weak and thus believing I am not accountable for my actions I am in fact manipulating myself and setting myself up for a fall through time loops and consequences that will sure to come, because no one is responsible for myself but me at all times and thus I am accountable for any/all consequences I create even if I believe I am not.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the experience of being low/sad to give up on myself within the belief that it’s ok just for the moment to stop myself within the process and be consumed within emotions, not realizing that process doesn't stop for a moment just as life doesn't stop for a moment, and within allowing myself to stop for a moment, and to not push through the points coming up within me due to self-interest fear, I am allowing all giving up in the name of self-interest to exist and remain as the directive principle of this existence, thus I realize my responsibility to stand as example within/as myself, to not give up on myself as life, to walk in every moment as to not allow any point of self-interest or giving up because I realize the extent of abuse allowed within that in the world system today, and I realize that I must first stop/correct myself within respecting/supporting myself as life at all times, and not giving up within/as the mind.

Self-Commitment Statements
I commit myself, when experiencing myself as emotional possession, to stop and breathe until the possession is over, within this not allowing myself to go into the character of giving up within the belief that I will not make it within realizing that the character is not me in fact and is getting its power as character only through my participation within/as it

I commit myself to not resist asking for support/assistance from beings around me when I am experiencing myself within emotional possession, instead of isolating myself through fear of exposing myself as the character, within realizing that the fear is placed by self as the mind in protection of my character and thus within realizing that I must allow myself to break through all characters I have defined myself as in order to actually be here one and equal to/as the physical within realizing that the characters are not in fact me, thus I commit myself to allow myself as the character to be exposed and shattered within realizing that it will be painful/hard at times, but no one said freeing myself from the mind would be easy, and thus I stop running away from what seems hard/painful and allow myself to face myself and who I have accepted and allowed myself to be/become within all the different characters I have allowed myself to exist as so that I can stop once and for all, and take responsibility for myself within the totality of myself and to rebirth myself within/as the physical here as life.

I commit myself to when facing myself within the desire to place myself as weak/fragile to stop myself and breathe, to realize that even when I believe I am not responsible I am in fact responsible and thus accountable at all time, thus I commit myself to not allow myself to manipulate myself into such characters but to stand within self-responsibility and allow myself to face myself as the characters I have created and to forgive myself within self-direction to change myself so that I can trust myself as life as always here within/as breath applying myself within equality/oneness as what is best for all and not abdicating responsibility when/if I feel like being weak/fragile for a moment

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