Day 22 - Arguing about the Desteni material

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to convince the others about the desteni materials so that I can feel good about myself and be reassured I am at the “right place’ through getting the approval of others, instead of looking within self honesty at where I am at and what I am doing and building self trust to be able to stand stable no matter what others think about me and what I am doing

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to talk to people about the desteni materials from a starting point of preaching to them, as if I have all the answers and they are ignorant and need me to help/save them from their ignorance, not realizing that by doing so I am participating in the construct of superiority and judgment and thus preaching about the principle of equality but acting from a starting point of inequality, within that I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that as long I am not one with my words I am only talking knowledge and information and not living as an example, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that being challenged by others can be used as self support to see where I am talking knowledge and information and where I should instead apply myself to be able to speak from my own experience and self investigation, thus allowing myself to within humbleness stop preaching and taking it back to self to see what I have been hiding from myself

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to argue about desteni material, going into convincing and justifying instead of speaking about it without the energetic experience I have allowed myself to participate in through convincing and justifying

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to when speaking with others about desteni go into a character of wanting to be right and wanting to prove to them my point and in turn when they are not convinced I go into reaction and become angry/spiteful towards them for “not getting it” or for being so consumed with their ideas that they are blond to what I am trying to show them, not allowing myself to actually be equal to them within humbleness and to see through their reaction where am I speaking knowledge and actually holding on to my own opinion without having actually checked it out for myself within the physical reality, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that by looking at their resistance to what I am saying and my reaction to them, I can learn a great deal about myself and how I operate within/as sharing my perspective, and through learning I can become much more effective in sharing about desteni, thus I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to learn from my mistakes because I have been too proud to learn from those situations/people I have define as ignorant, instead of allowing myself to within humbleness and the principle of equality, learn from everything and everyone in my reality to become effective and equal within my words and actions

I commit to stop myself within breath when I see myself caught up in an argument, trying to convince another about the desteni material within the starting point of knowledge and information

when seeing myself caught up in convincing and justifying myself to prove to another I am right about the desteni material I commit to stop and breathe, to stop all preaching about that which I haven’t walked and only share about points I have proved to myself so that I can actually stand behind what I am saying as an living example and not as another idea

I commit myself to stop myself within breath when I see myself going into reaction from an argument about the material and allow myself to back off and look at what I am actually reacting to, and why is it so important for me to pass my message, and within that to see where I am holding on to ideas I haven’t yet proved to myself but want the other to agree with so that I don’t have to.

I commit myself to encourage myself and others to research the material of desteni in depth and to check it out practically for myself/themselves and not rely on anyone's perspective to judge and thus determine an opinion about the material.