Friday, September 14, 2012
Posted by
Maya R
at
1:55 PM
Labels:
definition,
desteni,
feminine,
self forgiveness,
self responsibility,
weak,
weakness
Continuing from my previous
blogs:
Through investigating the
design of weakness, and how I've defined myself as weak, I have come to a realization
that any form of self-belittling is in fact a form of self-manipulation to
defend the characters as self to protect/defend the construct of self-interest.
I realize that any idea/belief about self is of the mind and thus is not real
as life, furthermore, any idea/belief about self that justifies/excuses not
taking self-responsibility, not investigating self-honesty, not changing within
the principle of equality as what is best for all, not standing to support all
life as equal, such as the idea/belief that self is weak in any way, is a
direct and deliberate abuse towards self and towards all life as one and equal.
I realize that the belittling
self-belief/idea is of no actual value or relevance in practical physicality,
thus pointless. The only relevance it has is in the realm of the mind, where it
creates "noise" as back chat to justify/excuse oneself from actually
pushing through the resistance to change and from making the actual effort it
takes to live a life that supports self as all life as one and equal through
stopping all participation with that which supports abuse in any way/shape/form
, within self and in the word system such as working towards an equal money
system that values life and creates a practical platform for all to live a
dignified life.
Any form of self belittling
is unacceptable
I forgive myself for
accepting and allowing myself to belittle myself as a form of justifying to
myself the lack of self-application towards what is best for all, justifying
the lack of application instead of actually pushing through the resistance and
actually starting to apply myself within/as breath, within self-will as a self-commitment
of changing myself to be one and equal within/as myself to be able to live as an
example and thus prove to myself and others that change is possible as a living
application in fact and not only a nice idea that is only talked about but
never applied,
Thus, I commit myself to
stopping myself within breath if/when I find myself belittling myself, and to
investigate every point/aspect of the construct of self-belittling until I have
walked through all the points within self-forgiveness, to ensure to myself that
I will not fall in the trap of self-belittling again,
within that I commit myself
to walk my process of becoming equal and one within/as myself, within walking
through/as my mind, to get to know myself as who I have accepted and allowed
myself to be/become to ensure I have walked all points and thus am able to
trust myself to not fall in the traps of the mind because I have seen them all
and have made a decision to walk within self-direction within/as breath, here,
within/as the physical body, as self-support as what is best for all within
equality.
Tin order to assist self in
seeing different aspect of the word and help more layers reveal themselves, I will
be sounding of the word, and placing associations to the sounds
Weak
Week = periodically, the
pattern comes back periodically
wee = small,
eek = rejection/discussed,
sounds like squeak = wining,
complaining
Weakness
weak knees = instability,
prone to fall
weakened
Weekend = taking a
brake/vacation
wicked = manipulative,
abusive
I forgive
myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold a negative energetic charge
towards the word 'weak', within this I realize that the negative experience I have
towards the word is a self-limitation, thus a form of self-control/restriction,
thus I realize that as long as I am moved by the word within an energetic
reaction, positive or negative, I canot be trusted as/with life, because I am
prone to act within a starting point of the emotional/energetic reaction, thus,
I commit myself to stopping myself within/as the energetic/emotional reaction
towards the word 'weak', and instead to apply/correct myself when/as necessary
to ensure I am not participating in the weak character
Redefining
the word weak/weakness
I look at how to define the
word as an expression of itself
Weakness (as
experience/expression) – a point/expression of deliberate self-compromise
through self-manipulation to 'get out' of standing as self-responsibility thus
acting within deliberate self-interest and thus deliberate abuse towards self
and others/existence as one and equal.
Within this definition above,
weakness is unacceptable as it is abusing self as life, and postponing self
from walking the process of birthing self into the physical as one and equal
I see within this definition that
there is still judgment within me towards the word/expression as weak/weakness
I forgive myself for
accepting and allowing myself to judge weakness, not realizing that allowing
the judgment come up within me is a point of separation within hiding from
myself the actual self-judgment as guilt I hold towards myself for all the
times I have accepted and allowed myself to exist/express myself as weak,
within that, I forgive myself for accepting and a allowing myself to live/express
myself as weak and within the expression/self-belief as weak to allow myself to
believe I cannot change/transcend this point, within this I forgive myself for not
accepting and allowing myself to realize that only from within accepting myself
as the character of weakness I am telling myself that I cannot transcend
weakness, thus I stop myself as the weak character, because I have seen how
this character creeps up as back chat, I stop it as myself within/as breath and
do not allow myself to go into my mind as back chat of self-belittling.
Weak/weakness as a living
word is not defined through an idea/opinion/judgment, but is the actual definition
of the word within practical physicality, and does not stand within
comparison/polarity.
Weakness is define by a
function or a purpose, let me see what the word represents/stands for:
Something that is not able to
stand within its purpose/intended function.
When there isn't an alignment
between the function/purpose and the capability, more specifically, when there
is a lacking in capability in relation to the purpose/function at hand, from
the perspective that the capability of the object/person does not match the
function/purpose it is assigned to do.
Within this, when facing a
point of weakness, one must ask themselves within self-honesty if in fact they
lack capability or is it used as excuse/justification within/as the weakness
character, while realizing that weakness as a living word is not derived from the
mind thus does not exist within/as emotions/reactions, thus if anything moves
within/as self, one must realize this is the weakness character creeping up and
must stand as the correction and stop self from participating within/as the
character, to within time and application, build self-trust to be able to live/express/apply
within/as self-support, thus doing what is required to be done within/as self as
within the entire world system, to establish a world that is best for all
within equality.
I forgive myself that I've
accepted and allowed myself to create/define/accept myself as the weakness character
I forgive myself for
accepting and allowing myself to express myself as weak within the self-belief
that it is my "natural expression" due to creating/defining/accepting
myself as weak
I forgive myself for
accepting and allowing myself to have a relationship with the concept of
weakness through an idea of the mind, not realizing that weakness has an actual
value only within physical practicality for instance, "this box is too
weak for me to sit on", within this I forgive myself for not accepting and
allowing myself to realize that defining weakness in relation to ones being as
who one is, is an act of self-compromising and self-diminishing
I forgive myself for accepting
and allowing myself to exist within the weakness character as a way of
manipulation to get out of doing things that I don't feel like doing, not
realizing that by using manipulation to get out of doing things that require to
be done I am accepting and allowing not taking self-responsibility as a
construct to exist and within that I am allowing myself to participate as an example
within/as not taking self-responsibility, instead of allowing myself to stand
as self-responsibility within the understanding that one is responsible for
oneself no matter what, there is no escaping it, but there is a deliberate
decision whether to ignore ones responsibilities or to accept them and walk
them as self, thus I commit myself to live within the principle of taking self-responsibility
because I realize the first step to establishing self-trust is trusting myself
to take self-responsibility, within the understanding that abdicating responsibility
and hoping someone else will fix me/the world will never manifest into a world
of equality but can only lead to more of the same shit, thus if I stand for a
world of equality and oneness I realize and accept the responsibility of
moving/pushing/changing myself as self-correction in order to be a living
example of what each can do/change within equality, and stop all participation
within self-diminishment within the fear of not being able to change and thus
sabotage myself instead of pushing as hard as I can to make sure I make it
I forgive myself for
accepting and allowing myself to use to weakness character to get out of doing
things through manipulating others to do things for me, thus creating through
my participation a construct of inequality through creating them as my slaves within
the belief that it's ok for them to do the task but not for me, they will/should
do it for me, not realizing that this is the base of all inequality, through
the belief that I am more valuable and thus deserving and thus should have things
done for me. When looking at the world one sees the accumulation of this
construct due to everyone believing they are special and more deserving/valuable
than others and thus allow themselves to manipulate/deceive in order to get
what they want within self-interest, furthermore, within the current capitalistic
money system money buys us the ability to act/behave/participate as weakness
through not having to take responsibility and actually do the work for self,
due to the ability of paying someone to do it for, not seeing that the only
reason one can get another to do tasks for them is due to the fear of survival engraved
into the system, thus, I realize within this that my participation with the
character of weakness is in fact creating the basis structure for the current
capitalistic to exist.
Thus, I commit myself to stop
all participation within the weakness character due to the
understanding/realization that by participating in such constructs/characters I
am in fact creating/participating with the basic construct that the current capitalistic/abusive
system relies on, within this I realize the first step in changing the world
system into a world of equality and dignity must start within/as self, thus I stop
any participation that contributes/supports the current system in order to
birth myself and the world system into equality
I forgive myself for accepting
and allowing myself to connect weakness to femininity and thus allow myself to
create myself within/as the weakness character in order to present myself as
what I have define as feminine, not realizing the self-compromising within it all
I forgive myself for
accepting and allowing myself to act within the weakness character to express
myself as feminine as I have defined it as such in my mind, to be able to
connect through the weakness character with men, within this not realizing the
deception of it all within basically lying about myself to be liked/accepted,
thus compromising/diminishing myself
To be continued…
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2 comments:
Cool Maya! Thanks for sharing this point, I can definitely relate
Thanks for sharing this self-support Maya!
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