Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Posted by
Maya R
at
12:50 PM
Labels:
assistance,
attention,
burden,
desteni,
help,
lazy,
manipulation,
nuisance,
responsibility,
self forgiveness,
support
I have an experienced myself many times as being a burden on those around me. this experience makes it hard for me to ask for help because I come to ask for help from within a starting point of believing that I'm a burden/nuisance , and then as a result I create myself as burden/nuisance and the other being will pick up on it, and treat me as such. I then will go into my victimized character as if I'm this helpless being that, on the one hand, needs the other being's help, and on the other hand blame them for being impatient with me. Within this I manipulate myself into believing that they are the cause for my feeling as a nuisance/burden, not allowing myself to see that I have created the situation through my starting point as the self belief of being a burden.
I forgive
myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I am a burden on others
I forgive
myself for accepting and allowing myself to ask for help from a starting point
of believing I am a burden, within that not realizing that I am creating myself
as a burden through participating within/as the starting point of believing I
am a burden
I forgive
myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame others for giving me a
feeling that I am a burden to them while they help me and give me assistance,
within this I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize
that the point of blame is actually reflecting me back to me because I know
within self honesty that I am the cause/responsible for my feeling of being a
burden through participation within the starting point of being a burden, and
thus I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I
am the sole creator of myself as a burden within feeling I am a burden/nuisance
to others, and thus I realize that no one else is to blame for the experience I
create within/as myself through my
direct participation as my starting point
I forgive
myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe myself to be a burden based
on memories of people making fun of me for asking too many questions, within
this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live in the past as
memory and to recreate the past experience/emotion through participating within
the starting point of that which I brought as myself from the past, thus not
allowing myself to get our of the loop as I keep recreating it again and again
through memory
I forgive
myself for accepting and allowing myself to ask for assistance/help within a
starting point of desire for attention, within this, I forgive myself for
accepting and allowing myself , when I recognize that the other is not giving
me the attention I am looking for and thus I will not get the high energy I
wanted, to allow myself to go into the polarity of believing I am being a
burden, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react
within/as emotions when I do not get the attention I was looking for, and to be directed by the emotion within the
desire for feeling good while avoiding feeling bad, thus to manipulate myself
within the situation to create a good feeling within/as myself, instead of
allowing myself to see within/as self honesty how this construct play out, and
stopping myself from participating within/as it
I forgive
myself for accepting and allowing myself to manipulate those around me through
asking their help in order to get attention, and within that to then blame them
when they do not give me the 'loving' attention I was hoping for, instead of
taking self responsibility for myself within realizing the
deception/manipulation I have been participating within only for my own self
interest as getting a high energetic feeling at the expense of others, and then
when I do not get what I wanted I become spiteful within blaming them for
making me feel like I am a burden, while I have allowed the situation to unfold
through my desire for attention/good feelings
I forgive
myself for not accepting and allowing to learn/investigate the point I am
asking for help in regards to, and thus not allowing myself to be independent
within the point, but instead I'd rather abdicate my responsibility within
allowing myself to count/depend on others instead of walking the process of
learning how to apply myself and thus not be dependent but able to stand
independently, within this I realize that there are points that will take time
for me to learn thus I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to
be patient with myself within learning something new but instead to define
myself as "I'm not good at that" or "I don't know that" and
thus to not allow myself to approach that point within practicality, and thus
stay in the loop of asking others to assist me with points I am able within
self honesty to learn and assist myself with
I forgive
myself for accepting and allowing myself to prefer not knowing how to do things
and then be dependent on others to help me, rather then taking the time and
walking the process to learn the point for myself, within this I realize that
each time I ask for help in regards a point I know I could have learnt to do
myself if I had given myself the opportunity, I go into the character of
"I'm a burden" as a form of punishment of experiencing guilt for not
knowing that which I was lazy to learn, within this I forgive myself for
accepting and allowing myself to instead of once and for all learning the point
within stopping the self belief that "I cannot do it" I go into
guilt/shame and within that to the character of "I'm a burden" thus
remaining in the loop of mind as characters, feeding off each other and
creating more energy through conflict/emotions.
I commit
myself to when I see myself experiencing myself as being a burden when asking
for help, I stop myself and breathe, I check my starting point, I look at am I
asking something from laziness/desire for attention or do I actually need
assistance, if I see that I need the assistance I breathe and commit myself to
get the help I need without allowing thoughts of me being a burden to possess
me, within realizing that within those thought I allow myself to become a
burden, if I see that I am asking from a starting point of being lazy/desire
for attention, I stop myself within breath, and get off my ass and do what
needs to be done through supporting myself to assist myself
I commit
myself to take responsibility within learning points that I can assist myself
with, and within that I commit myself to be patient with myself and allow
myself to go through the process of learning new points to assist me with, and
to stop myself within/as breath when I go into the belief of "I don't know
how to do it" because I realize this is self manipulation to abdicate
responsibility, and thus I stop.
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