My journey to life: Day 92 - Fear Dimension - Part 13 - Fear of Losing MySelf

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear losing myself, not allowing myself to see, realize and understand that I am HERE as LIFE and within this realize that I cannot be lost, it is only within the separation of the mind can I believe the fear of losing myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as good/positive and thus fear losing this definition of myself within believing that without this self definition I will be lost/gone, not realizing that the definition I have of myself, based on the values/morals I was brought up as, as part of my family/society , is within a polarity of good/bad, right/wrong, and thus based on judgment of the mind, within this, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that by living as a self definition I am not allowing myself to actually see me, as know who I actually am, because my perception has been tainted through the desire to fit in what I believe to be desired/accepted by the society/family within the norm/value system , thus I have allowed myself to mold myself into a definition I believed to be suitable for me, thus suppressing myself as who I really am, as not allowing myself to see the parts of self that don't fit into that predefined mold, as not allowing myself to even know the totality of who I am in fact, in order to hold on to a definition I have created as myself, without considering anything else besides my perceived survival, not realizing that by allowing myself to be directed by the fear of survival I have actually sacrificed myself as life, and thus now, instead of allowing myself to expand as life and change within the principle of what is best for all life, I have trapped myself in self created and accepted definitions that I have created as a survival mechanism within self interest not considering myself as life and all as life in equality, allowing myself to exist and participate within/as the mind as separation of myself and reality as a whole

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as a definition, as a one dimensional, static, based in the past, 'dead' definition instead of realizing myself as life, as a live, dynamic, ever changing, ever expanding, multi dimensional living being that is by definition indefinable because any definition would be a form of limitation/enslavement and thus not align with or supportive of life as who I am

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear losing the definition of myself as good/positive within believing that it actually defines who I am, not realizing that who I am is not in fact limited to a definition and that existing as a definition is based on self diminishment as a mind manipulation to keep me enslaved within separation ad not know/realize who I am as life, within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear losing definitions I believe to be true within/as my reality, as the religion of self as the religion of knowledge, as I have based my point of view on these definitions/beliefs and if I am to change the definition/perspective I have on reality it would mean I have to change myself as my point of view will change, within this I realize that there exist a fear within me as to not wanting to change myself, where I want to change without changing due to fear of change, due to fear of stepping out of the comfort zone of what is familiar as how I know reality to be, and to step into a new unfamiliar experience of the world and my reality through the new/corrected definition/perspective, thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear change, and within that to allow myself to be limited as who I believe myself to be, not allowing myself to expand/grow/change within realizing that what I believed to be true doesn't stand, and thus must be let go of, in order to find a new and more accurate, more supportive, more applicable definition/perspective that actually supports self as life and all as one as equal and doesn't support the polarity of the mind, as comparison / limitation / judgment / abuse, I realize the world that exist today must change, and thus all definitions/perspectives that create the world must be changed in order to "make room" for a new definitions/perspectives that actually takes all life into consideration and supports life as what is here in the physical reality and not supports the mental alternate reality of the mind in definitions / judgments / limitations / beliefs / comparison...

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to do everything in my ability to protect the definition of myself as good/positive, within this allowing myself to disregard myself as who I really am within the deepest/hidden parts of me as to ignore myself as the evil that exist within/as me as to remain within the self belief of being good/positive, not realizing that through not allowing myself to see the totality of who I am, and only existing within the narrow definition I have created for myself, I am in fact suppressing myself in order to exist/live as an idea, which is really silly when you think about it - I have preferred to live as an idea instead of allowing myself to be/live/express the totality of myself and within that to will/push myself to change anything that isn't aligned with what is best for all within the principle of equality and oneness. so basically, instead of changing myself from within to be aligned with what is best for all within equality and oneness, as being the person I want to be, a person of dignity that supports all life in fact, within and without, I have suppressed myself, and thus actually hiding from myself those parts of myself that require attention and correction, so instead of changing I have suppressed, not realizing that as long as I suppress myself I am still directed/enslaved by the points of suppression that I am hiding from myself, because of the fear of letting them come out, not seeing the influence they still have on me through allowing them to still be a part of me through deliberate suppression, so within this I realize the self sabotage pattern of keeping myself confined to a narrow self definition as a way to actually keep me enslaved to all the darkest most evil parts of me that are actually the directive principle of me as long as I don't face them and accept myself as them to, through accepting the totality of myself, without any judgment, change myself, through writing, self forgiveness, and breath, until I am standing stable as life

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to the thought/idea of changing the definition I know of frequency, within believing that the definition I have is the only one that could ever be valid, not allowing myself to consider that all that exists now in the world is based on the current accepted definitions, and thus to change what is here we must allow ourselves to change any and every definition into that which supports life and is best for all, if we want to create a world that is best for all. I realize that the world is a reflection of all the definitions we accept within it, and thus all definitions must be investigated and redefined as to what is best for all, thus within realizing this I now see that any resistance I have towards changing a definition of any word is based in self interest, as I don't want to change the word because I don't want to change myself within/as the word, due to believing that I benefit from how things are as it is, thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compromise myself and all within resisting the change and redefinition of words, and thus not allowing myself to consider changing the definition of 'frequency', I see within this I have attached an energetic value to the definition I have of 'frequency' as it symbolizes my studies, it symbolizes my intelligence, it symbolizes my knowledge, and that is what I fear letting go of - I fear letting go of the advantage I have over others because I have knowledge as to what is frequency, thus desiring a superior position of knowledge, instead of allowing myself to be humble, and to learn/create/accept the new definitions together, within only one point to direct as a living principle as what is best for all, putting a side all self interest as wanting to be smart/intelligent/superior, and to focus on the only thing that matters - equality and oneness as what is best for all

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear losing myself within giving up a definition of myself or of something I believe to be true, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within the experience that I can be lost through losing/giving up a definition, not realizing that within this I am making a statement that I am the definition, a one dimensional, static, based in the past, dead definition, and not a live, dynamic, ever changing, ever expanding, multi dimensional living being, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to diminish myself to a definition within the accepted belief of myself as a definition I have created myself as

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react within fear and resistance when I experience/believe I am about to lose/change my definition of myself or of something in my world, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be enslaved to the definition within allowing myself to be directed by it, in defense of it, not allowing myself to be here within/as breath, in every moment and as the change of definition come to allow myself to look at it without fear, simply to see what is here within common sense as I allow myself to be the directive principle of myself and my reality

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react when being corrected / told what to do, because within my interpretation of the situation I am being defined other than how I would like to define myself as, and within that I experience inner conflict as to who I am and how I am being seen, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live in a limited experience of myself and within that to protect this experience of myself within reaction as blame and anger towards others/situations that challenge myself within the limited experience I have accepted as myself, instead of allowing myself to let go of the experience as the familiar definition I have of myself and allow myself to expand / grow / change, accepting any and every change as a gift and allow myself to be grateful to any and every correction, challenge as to only through these points, of what is now still experienced as inner conflict, will I ever be able to see myself and change into a living being that is self directive, self honest and within that self supportive and supportive of all as life in equality and oneness

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to the thought/idea of changing the definition of frequency within fear of not knowing any thing anymore, not being able to trust anything that I believe to know, within fear of not being able to trust anything that I have trusted and have defined myself as all my life, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to trust myself as life, here, stable, standing, and instead to place my trust in knowledge and thus when this knowledge is challenged I experience it as I lose the grip of myself instead of remaining standing as I am here, regardless of the knowledge and definitions we use to explain/express reality - reality, as myself, is here, it doesn't need to be defined, definition is only a practical tool for communication, it is limited within it's application, and thus is used for communication but doesn't actually define anything, it is just an idea, a concept, within this I realize that I, as life, am not a concept or idea, thus I realize that changing the definition is using the same tool in a different way, to explain and expand the understanding, in order to provide a more clear view of reality, but that is what it is, a view, and not reality itself, same as me, the definition of me can only show/explain an aspect of me, it will never actually be me, as I am not a definition, I am alive, as life