Friday, December 7, 2012
The following blog is a continuation of my previous writings, please read them for further context if you haven’t already :
Day 110 - Avoiding Work
Day 111 – Self interest can never be “right”
extracted from day 110 - Working - all my life I knew that working is a hassle, no one really wants to work, people work because they have to, and I have been avoiding work all my life, as much as I can… so in essence I never gave myself a chance to see who I am within it, I always simply defined myself within the personality of "I don't like to work".I realize I have created a definition of work as being something that must be avoided regardless of the circumstances, the task, the responsibility, and in no consideration of what needs to be done
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within the definition of work being something to avoid, and not allowing myself to be self directive within he principle of equality and oneness as doing what needs to be done and taking responsibility in order to clear up the mess in myself and in the world as myself
When and as I see myself going into a personality of avoiding work, I stop myself and breathe, I bring myself back here, I realize what needs to be done, I am grateful that I can contribute and assist and support myself through physically walking the application of correcting myself and this world as a whole, within this I commit myself to honor myself within my decisions and thus if I have deiced to do something I will do it as an application of building self trust and self respect
I realize I have created this idea based on memory, based in what I have learnt from society, based on my interpretation of how others would speak about work
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to question my self definition and within that my belief system as the religion of self, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blindly accept what I have been taught by society even thought the evidence is clear that what we have created as this world is not working out for the benefit of all life, and is in fact an abusive and cruel world, thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blindly accept what I have been taught even though the evident is clear that what is being taught should be changed because the result of this world is not what I would want our children to be born into, thus, to create a world that is best for all our children we must realize that our starting point within all the definitions we have accepted must change as well
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to base my definition of work on the past as memories/experiences, instead of allowing myself to be here, in the moment, and breathe, to stop the back chat as it is only getting in my way of simply physically doing what I have set myself to do, and thus participating in self sabotage
When and as I go into back chat while doing a task/job/work, I stop myself and breathe, I bring myself back here, I revisit my starting point and allow myself to see why I am doing this job/task/work, and within realigning myself to my starting point, within breath, I continue the task, within this I realize that to build self respect, self trust, self honor, I must honor myself, my decisions and my responsibilities to through time expand myself within my abilities, skills, application, responsibility, to be able to live as an example that change can be done, to live as an example of stopping the back chat and living that which is best for all life regardless of personal preferences that are based in self interest
I realize I have been limiting myself and not allowing myself to be here within self exploration of seeing who I am within the task/responsibility/activity
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to explore unconditionally any activity/task, and instead I have approached all jobs/tasks/responsibilities from a starting point of wanting it to end, thus not allowing myself to see who I am within it, not allowing myself to expand as it, but always separating myself from the task, within an idea that it must be avoided, not allowing myself to live self honestly and see for myself as myself who I am within it, and within that to change myself as to be able to do any task/job without attaching any value/energy to it and thus not limit/restrict myself to any value/idea/belief but allow myself to actually be free from any mind enslavement
I commit myself to when doing a task, and I find myself going into judgment towards the task, I stop and breathe, I realize the judgment is of the mind and is sabotaging myself as the experience of participating in the task, as one with it within breath here in the moment, thus I commit myself to let go any value I have given different tasks that I am used to try to avoid, to investigate the starting point of my preference and to direct myself within the decision to do what needs to be done in the service of all life that is here
I realize I have been directing myself according to this belief, never questioning it, but simply accepting myself as it, as a given fact of who I am
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I am the personality of "I don't like to work" within that I have created an energetic experience of suffering both within doing the task at hand and within judging the situation for "having to do something I don’t like" and within judging myself for being a fuck up that doesn't like to work - all due to the self belief that I have created as myself over time, and that in fact exist only as a mind illusion that I as myself can change if only I allow myself to
I commit myself to change myself within the starting point of working, I commit myself to when I see the self definition of "I don’t like to work" or "I am not good at working:" come up, to stop myself and breathe, to allow myself to be here, in breath, and enjoy myself within everything that I do, not an enjoyment within energy, but simply being here and participating in the physical reality as a point of enjoyment of being alive and able to participate in this world - within this to realize that true enjoyment can only exist within self honesty and thus to align myself to that which is best for all would be the only way to actually experience true enjoyment from anything I do
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