Showing posts with label Politics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Politics. Show all posts
Sunday, May 19, 2013
I just found some writings i had done when making the decision to leave the farm, re-reading it was interesting because i could see that I wasn’t honest with myself, not allowing myself to see what i want, because it clashed with what i expected myself to want, and within not admitting to what i want, i couldn’t investigate it and find the misalignments within it - the one thing I missed is the possibility of staying at the farm and changing my application - I was judging myself for not applying myself and my time there not being valuable, realizing that I am not being effective, but instead of changing myself I changed my location, within doing so, taking myself as the pattern of ineffectiveness with me, now - I could have stayed and applied myself and pushed myself to change and become effective and consistent, but instead I indirectly directed everything to leave on may 11th, within this, i used a conversation i had with bernard as the greatest justification to come to the decision that i did, not seeing that all he did was show me that which i wouldn’t allow myself to see, though only now i realize that, at the time i thought it was him approving and supporting my decision.. lol… so in a way i used his words to validate my decision when in fact his words only allowed myself to see who i was in that moment, and within not realizing this at the time, i simply went with that which i saw i wanted instead of investigating it and making sure it is the best decision i could make.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to decide to leave the farm instead of staying and making the decision to become effective
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that the change I must push myself to walk as to become effective will be the same on the farm and here, and so all I did was postpone changing, bringing myself into a potentially harder situation instead of utilizing the support system I had at the farm
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see this points clearly and within it to support myself in realizing that staying at the farm and applying myself effectively would be more supportive than leaving and walking the point of changing myself into becoming effective, here in the system - within this, I realize I can only walk the consequences of my past decisions, and so it is still up to me here as I walk to change myself and become effective, and it is still up to me to utilize the support that is available here for me, and so, I realize that it's not a point of making a mistake whether to leave or not, but simply a point to look at and learn from for making decisions in the future, and within this to realize that it really doesn't matter if I'm here or there, because either way I am here, with/within/as myself, and must walk all the points equally - so, really no harm done - only an eye opener.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to direct my decision from a starting point of excitement and desire, and thus not within common sense and practicality as making sure that all the points are in place effectively before moving to the next step
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that the eagerness I experienced was actually a "fear of missing an opportunity" as I have experienced once before, thus allowing past events to direct me instead of directing myself here
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to carry along with me the past event of missing an opportunity and thus to proceed in hastiness from a starting point of fear of missing out, rather then practicality
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed by the fear of missing out instead of realizing that by existing within the fear I am manifesting it into reality as I have proven to myself many times, that, that which I fear will manifest by and from the fear itself - and so, I realize that any step I take within the starting point of fear is bringing me that much closer to the failure / missing out / disappointment I fear so much - and thus - I stop myself here, and commit myself to investigate all points of fear in order to not follow them blindly but to through the fear, see more clearly and develop self honesty
When and as I see myself going into fear, and being directed by fear, I stop myself and breathe - I realize the fear will always only manifest itself into reality, and thus will never actually support me as who I am as life - and so, I commit myself to, when I see fear as part of my decision making, I stop and breathe, I bring myself back here, I write out the point and within writing it allowing myself to be self honest within myself and see deliberately and directly that which I am missing and not allowing myself to see as the fear.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to know what I want and thus ask for advice when actually I know what I want to hear and feel a relief when I hear what I want - and so, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to be honest with myself as to see that which I want, even and especially when it is not what I expect myself to want as it clashes with my expectation of what I believe I should have wanted
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize and practice this realization that I must first be honest with myself as to see who I am in the moment, who I am within my relationship to a point, in order to from there see what I am allowing myself to be directed by - in other words, as long as I don't allow myself to face myself and see in self honesty who I am, I cannot correct myself and align myself as self support as what is best for all
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide from myself who I am as what I want / desire / believe / hope within self judgment as expecting myself to want / need / desire / hope something else, not realizing that it's not what I want but the construct of the want that is the problem so to speak, and thus, the judgment towards one desire implies that another would be valid, thus validating the participation in desire of mind, rather than realizing that all desires are equal in their separation, and thus, as long as I exist in the realm of the mind as want / desire / believe / hope there is no point of judging myself but rather seeing it for what it is and letting it go within understanding that I, as life, do not require want / desire / belief / hope as separation from / as myself
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Thursday, February 7, 2013
This blog is a follow up from my previous blog Day 155 - Desperation - How will the world ever change?, where I express my desperation towards the condition of the world and blame others for creating it, while not taking responsibility and realizing my part in creating the world as it is - in the following blogs I will be walking in self forgiveness the points that had opened up through writing the previous blog, as my first step of actually taking self responsibility.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept unquestionably the information I receive through the main stream media and from social conversations / gossip / arguments, instead of allowing myself to investigate the points through cross referencing with other forms of media to allow myself to become aware and see the entire picture as what is actually going on in the world around me, and thus, to take responsibility for myself within and as the world / reality I live in and to within that take responsibility for the world as myself, instead of blindly placing my trust in the media to present accurate and unbiased informational facts, and in the governments to work within the best interest of the people as humanity and the world as one, and thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my responsibility to actually know what is going on around me in the world / country I live in, and within that to abdicate my responsibility to act on it, thus, stepping back and away from my responsibility of fully participating in life, as my responsibility of being an informed, active and contributing human being, as a citizen of the world.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live in a bubble, where I do not listen to the news as to not hear about the problems that are going on around me, from a starting point of "it doesn't concern me, I don't really care" and thus, to allow myself to deliberately exist in ignorance as I ignore what is going on all around me, as a reflection of that which I am allowing to go on within myself and am ignoring and suppressing myself just as I am ignoring and suppressing the problems of the world in order to continue one more day to exist in my bubble of comfort , as I pretend that what doesn't effect me directly or that I don't know - doesn't concern me, while in fact, by deliberately not informing myself I am placing my vote for anything to go on as it is, as if saying everything is cool the way it is, while knowing in self honesty that it is far from ok, both within myself and without as the world system, thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ignore in ignorance all the abuse and suffering because I believe it doesn't concern me because I have created a comfortable life for myself, and myself alone, within existing in the bubble of illusions separate from what is really here as the physical reality, and within it I don't want to inconvenience myself with the problems of others, as well as my own inner problems, thus , I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live in a bubble isolated from the world as the physical reality that is shared by all equally and is created by all equally and thus is the responsibility of all equally, as well as existing in isolation from myself in suppression, not wanting to face the nastiness of myself just as I don't want to face the nastiness of the world, thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as "ignorance is bliss", when in fact, in self honesty I know that there is nothing blissful about the physical reality as it currently exists as, which I have allowed in my silence, as well as there is nothing blissful about my self experience, beyond and beneath the act of comfortability.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that if I'm not part of the solution I am part of the problem within giving my permission in my self interest silence, and thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to allow atrocities to exist as I give them permission by not standing up to stop them in the justification that "I am not aware / capable / knowledgeable enough to do anything about it anyway and thus let me let others that are more qualified than me to take care of this world, while I sit in my comfortable life in ignorance", within this, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that by giving my permission to atrocities to continue undisturbed, I am responsible for them, and from that perspective they do indeed concern me, they concern me from a perspective that within self honesty I know that I am allowing and accepting them to continue, within self honesty I know I much more capable and able to do something, speak up, writing a blog, and thus, within self honesty I know as I am doing nothing, that I am doing it within self interest, and thus, within self honesty I know the shame I am to experience when I allow myself to ask myself why did I do nothing? Why did I allow this? Why did I abdicate my responsibility and chose the easy / self interest way out through deliberate ignorance?
Thus, I realize that when abuse is taking place I can either stand equal to the abuse in self interest, or I can stand equal to life - where standing equal to the abuse can take the form of deliberate participation or deliberate ignorance as both allow the abuse to continue undisturbed, where as standing up equal to and as life, in standing up for life, I would take all measures necessary to expose and stop the abuse, to change the system so that such abuse will no longer be seen as accepted or justified, and to change myself into the living expression of life, as oneness and equality, in being a living example as living within and as the principle of what is best for all life, thus, not allowing myself to hide from the news in deliberate ignorance, but to inform myself, to educate myself, to take responsibility for myself, to no longer see myself as less than the world events but realize that I am in fact one and equal to all that is happening in the world, and in every breath I have a choice if to live this breath accumulating myself as deliberate ignorance as I ignore the abusive nature of this reality, or I can chose to accumulate myself as a responsible being that is working towards a solution, both within myself and without as the world system as a whole.
When and as I see myself go into an experience of resistance towards reading the news, within experiencing myself as not interested / bored / don't care / couldn't be bothered / "I have better and more important things to do" / "I don't know anything about politics I will not understand" - or any other excuse and justification to not take the time to inform myself of what is happening in the world around me - I stop myself and breathe - I realize that I must inform myself as to what is happening in the world around me which I am a part of and equal to, and responsible for whether I am aware of what is going on or not, through deliberately allowing myself to live in a bubble of ignorance, thus, I commit myself to become informed with world events, through reading daily news articles from different sources, I commit myself to educate myself through reading, investigating and cross referencing points of knowledge as to have a wide and unbiased perspective which will then allow me to be able to work towards solutions, within realizing that I must open my eyes and ears in order to know what is actually physically here as the problems of this world, in order to assist in finding practical and livable solutions that can be implemented in the physical reality as to assist humanity as myself to walk a process of correction from the abusive nature we exist as into a corrected, improved and perfected nature of self support, as an expression of "love thy neighbor", as living and expressing in every moment the principle of what is best for all life equally.
To learn more about yourself and how reality functions, please consider a FREE online Course
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