Showing posts with label equality and oneness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label equality and oneness. Show all posts
Saturday, November 24, 2012
I've reached my 100th blog, no bells or fireworks, just another day and another blog in my journey to birthing myself as life from the physical.
What does this even mean? Am I not alive?
REALITY - The practical physical world each and everyone lives in where the physical laws and consequences are equal for everyone.
One of the most substantial points I have learned since I have been walking with desteni is learning to distinguish between what is real and what is not - there is the physical reality as that which can be touched and smelled, that which is objective and can be shared and experienced by all, and on the other hand there is the mind, as our subjective point of view / perception / perspective of reality - our mind creates within ourselves a personal illusion, as a hidden/secret alternate reality that cannot be shared or experienced by anyone else but ourselves, and it does so through our acceptance, allowance and participation, where we, as our beingness, have given our power away to the mind, and have allowed ourselves to become enslaved to it, thus allowing it to be the directive principle of our existence.
Within submitting ourselves to/as the mind, we have allowed ourselves to exist only in the mind, in ideas / thoughts / beliefs / emotions / feelings / judgments / blame / projections and believing the mind to be reality while disregarding what is actually around us as the physical, and thus we have allowed ourselves to separated ourselves from the actual physical reality as what is actually here, existing within/as an illusion of separation as the mind, instead of walking the earth, one and equal with all that exists here as the physical, as life. Thus, as the mind we are not actually living, because we are existing as an illusion - to actually live would be to stop existing in the mind as separation and to live in awareness of the physical reality and thus become one with all that is here as the physical.
We as human beings, have got it all in reverse, we have programmed ourselves to believe that our mind represents ourselves as who we are, we believe our personalities represents ourselves as who we are, we believe that being alive goes hand in hand with utilizing our mind - "I think therefore I am" - because that is how it's always been, that's what we've learnt from our parents and society - we've never once considered that we are the ones that have created these personalities as ourselves which would indicate that we, as our beingness, were here first independent on the personalities, and that from our first breath we have been here, alive - only then, after our first breath, did we start "thinking", we started learning and interpreting what we see, judging what we see, and soon enough we have programmed ourselves as organic robots, disregarding our own breath, disregarding our own physical body, disregarding the fact that all that exist, exists here together and creates together all that is here, disregarding the simple fact that all is one from perspective of physicality, as one "cloud" of substance that has no actual borders and definitions - we are not actually separated as we, the "intelligent" human, have perceived and believed ourselves to be. And, due to our misunderstanding of the existence which we live in, we have given more value to the illusion as the mind, and no value to life, as the earth, as nature, as other living beings, as each other, and as ourselves - and we are living the result and outflows of this misunderstanding as we see evident in a cruel and abusive world system, that doesn't support life, but thrives on competition, self interest, manipulation and judgment - all within the realms of the mind as separation.
Existing within/as the mind is existing within an illusion that allows us to ignore everything that actually exist in our physical reality, allows us to ignore life itself, as we base our perception within self interest - we have created ourselves as personalities, and now we believe ourselves to be defined by these personalities, and thus participate only with that which supports our personalities and benefits them, enhances them, thus, existing within self interest, existing within an inherent fear of losing ourselves and thus in constant competition with one another to win. not realizing and seeing that we require energy to recreate ourselves over and over again to maintain ourselves as the personalities/characters we know ourselves to be, not realizing the destructive nature this consumption of energy has on us and existence as a whole – It works in the same way as the production of energy for electricity for example, energy is created through the consumption of the physical, turning substance into energy, and thus, our consumerism and the mere use of energy is destroying the land we walk on, destroying our home - we will fine the same construct in all dimension - as above so below, as within so without - our energy production, created and used to maintain our personalities, to survive as we know ourselves as the mind, is consuming our physical bodies, and thus destroying our home.
The more one investigate, one will see that the mind, within it's thirst for energy, is in fact the cause of all the suffering/abuse/conflict that exist in the physical reality where living beings are starving, being raped, abused, as we manipulate each other, destroy our home planet, pollute the water, make animals, plants and nature go instinct - this is all the result of human beings "nature" as we have allowed ourselves to exist as the mind.
What I have realized through this process of self investigation, is that the mind is very deceptive and manipulative, it never actually looks out for my best interest as looking out for myself as life, it is only looking out for it's own interest/survival - what does this mean? The mind needs energy to exist, it needs our participation to generate this energy, it does this through creating conflict and friction through the perception of separation, just like a battery that requires a plus and minus, a polarity, and just like how friction creates heat - so the mind creates friction as conflict within ourselves and our relationships, and creates the perception of separation as polarity, to generate energy for it's survival, disregarding ourselves as the beingness as who we are as life, equal and one to all that is life, to all that is here, to the physical as ourselves - all done to ensure it's survival - so why do we call this "self interest"? because at the moment we exist as the mind, we believe it to be ourselves, we experience the survival fear as our own – We have not yet realized ourselves as life, we believe ourselves to be the mind, and thus are equal to it and one with it - and this is the process, of rebirthing ourselves as life from the physical, that we are walking within this journey to life - to discover ourselves as life, through letting go of anything and everything that we have defined as ourselves through the mind, to return to nothingness, so that from a clean slate, so to speak, we can realize ourselves, without the veil of the mind, but simply as who we are, because once we remove all the layers of the mind - all that remain is ourselves, as life, within/as breathe, here.
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Thursday, November 15, 2012
This blog is continuing from the previous blog:
Day 79 - The lowest point
Day 80 - "I don't like being corrected / told what to do" character – Fear dimension - Mistakes – Part 1
Day 81 - "I don't like being corrected / told what to do" character – Fear dimension - Failure – Part 2
Day 82 – Fear Dimension –Failure - self forgiveness - Part 3
Day 83 - Fear Dimension - Being Wrong - Part 4
Day 84 - Fear Dimension - Being Judged - Part 5
Day 85 - Fear Dimension - specialness - Part 6
Day 86 - Fear Dimension - specialness - Part 7 - Self Forgiveness
Day 87 - Fear Dimension - Inferiority - Part 8
Day 88 - Fear dimension - Part 9 - self commitment
Day 89 - Fear dimension - Authority - Part 10
Day 90 - Fear dimension - Part 11 - Self forgiveness
Day 91 – Fear Dimension – Part 12 - Fear of Losing MySelf
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as good/positive and thus fear losing this definition of myself within believing that without this self definition I will be lost/gone, not realizing that the definition I have of myself, based on the values/morals I was brought up as, as part of my family/society , is within a polarity of good/bad, right/wrong, and thus based on judgment of the mind, within this, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that by living as a self definition I am not allowing myself to actually see me, as know who I actually am, because my perception has been tainted through the desire to fit in what I believe to be desired/accepted by the society/family within the norm/value system , thus I have allowed myself to mold myself into a definition I believed to be suitable for me, thus suppressing myself as who I really am, as not allowing myself to see the parts of self that don't fit into that predefined mold, as not allowing myself to even know the totality of who I am in fact, in order to hold on to a definition I have created as myself, without considering anything else besides my perceived survival, not realizing that by allowing myself to be directed by the fear of survival I have actually sacrificed myself as life, and thus now, instead of allowing myself to expand as life and change within the principle of what is best for all life, I have trapped myself in self created and accepted definitions that I have created as a survival mechanism within self interest not considering myself as life and all as life in equality, allowing myself to exist and participate within/as the mind as separation of myself and reality as a whole
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as a definition, as a one dimensional, static, based in the past, 'dead' definition instead of realizing myself as life, as a live, dynamic, ever changing, ever expanding, multi dimensional living being that is by definition indefinable because any definition would be a form of limitation/enslavement and thus not align with or supportive of life as who I am
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear losing the definition of myself as good/positive within believing that it actually defines who I am, not realizing that who I am is not in fact limited to a definition and that existing as a definition is based on self diminishment as a mind manipulation to keep me enslaved within separation ad not know/realize who I am as life, within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear losing definitions I believe to be true within/as my reality, as the religion of self as the religion of knowledge, as I have based my point of view on these definitions/beliefs and if I am to change the definition/perspective I have on reality it would mean I have to change myself as my point of view will change, within this I realize that there exist a fear within me as to not wanting to change myself, where I want to change without changing due to fear of change, due to fear of stepping out of the comfort zone of what is familiar as how I know reality to be, and to step into a new unfamiliar experience of the world and my reality through the new/corrected definition/perspective, thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear change, and within that to allow myself to be limited as who I believe myself to be, not allowing myself to expand/grow/change within realizing that what I believed to be true doesn't stand, and thus must be let go of, in order to find a new and more accurate, more supportive, more applicable definition/perspective that actually supports self as life and all as one as equal and doesn't support the polarity of the mind, as comparison / limitation / judgment / abuse, I realize the world that exist today must change, and thus all definitions/perspectives that create the world must be changed in order to "make room" for a new definitions/perspectives that actually takes all life into consideration and supports life as what is here in the physical reality and not supports the mental alternate reality of the mind in definitions / judgments / limitations / beliefs / comparison...
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to do everything in my ability to protect the definition of myself as good/positive, within this allowing myself to disregard myself as who I really am within the deepest/hidden parts of me as to ignore myself as the evil that exist within/as me as to remain within the self belief of being good/positive, not realizing that through not allowing myself to see the totality of who I am, and only existing within the narrow definition I have created for myself, I am in fact suppressing myself in order to exist/live as an idea, which is really silly when you think about it - I have preferred to live as an idea instead of allowing myself to be/live/express the totality of myself and within that to will/push myself to change anything that isn't aligned with what is best for all within the principle of equality and oneness. so basically, instead of changing myself from within to be aligned with what is best for all within equality and oneness, as being the person I want to be, a person of dignity that supports all life in fact, within and without, I have suppressed myself, and thus actually hiding from myself those parts of myself that require attention and correction, so instead of changing I have suppressed, not realizing that as long as I suppress myself I am still directed/enslaved by the points of suppression that I am hiding from myself, because of the fear of letting them come out, not seeing the influence they still have on me through allowing them to still be a part of me through deliberate suppression, so within this I realize the self sabotage pattern of keeping myself confined to a narrow self definition as a way to actually keep me enslaved to all the darkest most evil parts of me that are actually the directive principle of me as long as I don't face them and accept myself as them to, through accepting the totality of myself, without any judgment, change myself, through writing, self forgiveness, and breath, until I am standing stable as life
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to the thought/idea of changing the definition I know of frequency, within believing that the definition I have is the only one that could ever be valid, not allowing myself to consider that all that exists now in the world is based on the current accepted definitions, and thus to change what is here we must allow ourselves to change any and every definition into that which supports life and is best for all, if we want to create a world that is best for all. I realize that the world is a reflection of all the definitions we accept within it, and thus all definitions must be investigated and redefined as to what is best for all, thus within realizing this I now see that any resistance I have towards changing a definition of any word is based in self interest, as I don't want to change the word because I don't want to change myself within/as the word, due to believing that I benefit from how things are as it is, thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compromise myself and all within resisting the change and redefinition of words, and thus not allowing myself to consider changing the definition of 'frequency', I see within this I have attached an energetic value to the definition I have of 'frequency' as it symbolizes my studies, it symbolizes my intelligence, it symbolizes my knowledge, and that is what I fear letting go of - I fear letting go of the advantage I have over others because I have knowledge as to what is frequency, thus desiring a superior position of knowledge, instead of allowing myself to be humble, and to learn/create/accept the new definitions together, within only one point to direct as a living principle as what is best for all, putting a side all self interest as wanting to be smart/intelligent/superior, and to focus on the only thing that matters - equality and oneness as what is best for all
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear losing myself within giving up a definition of myself or of something I believe to be true, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within the experience that I can be lost through losing/giving up a definition, not realizing that within this I am making a statement that I am the definition, a one dimensional, static, based in the past, dead definition, and not a live, dynamic, ever changing, ever expanding, multi dimensional living being, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to diminish myself to a definition within the accepted belief of myself as a definition I have created myself as
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react within fear and resistance when I experience/believe I am about to lose/change my definition of myself or of something in my world, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be enslaved to the definition within allowing myself to be directed by it, in defense of it, not allowing myself to be here within/as breath, in every moment and as the change of definition come to allow myself to look at it without fear, simply to see what is here within common sense as I allow myself to be the directive principle of myself and my reality
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react when being corrected / told what to do, because within my interpretation of the situation I am being defined other than how I would like to define myself as, and within that I experience inner conflict as to who I am and how I am being seen, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live in a limited experience of myself and within that to protect this experience of myself within reaction as blame and anger towards others/situations that challenge myself within the limited experience I have accepted as myself, instead of allowing myself to let go of the experience as the familiar definition I have of myself and allow myself to expand / grow / change, accepting any and every change as a gift and allow myself to be grateful to any and every correction, challenge as to only through these points, of what is now still experienced as inner conflict, will I ever be able to see myself and change into a living being that is self directive, self honest and within that self supportive and supportive of all as life in equality and oneness
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to the thought/idea of changing the definition of frequency within fear of not knowing any thing anymore, not being able to trust anything that I believe to know, within fear of not being able to trust anything that I have trusted and have defined myself as all my life, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to trust myself as life, here, stable, standing, and instead to place my trust in knowledge and thus when this knowledge is challenged I experience it as I lose the grip of myself instead of remaining standing as I am here, regardless of the knowledge and definitions we use to explain/express reality - reality, as myself, is here, it doesn't need to be defined, definition is only a practical tool for communication, it is limited within it's application, and thus is used for communication but doesn't actually define anything, it is just an idea, a concept, within this I realize that I, as life, am not a concept or idea, thus I realize that changing the definition is using the same tool in a different way, to explain and expand the understanding, in order to provide a more clear view of reality, but that is what it is, a view, and not reality itself, same as me, the definition of me can only show/explain an aspect of me, it will never actually be me, as I am not a definition, I am alive, as life
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