Showing posts with label avoidance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label avoidance. Show all posts
Monday, September 8, 2014
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to talk about the things I want to do instead of actually doing them
I forgive myself for
accepting and allowing myself to talk about thing I want to do as if I am
planning to do them when in fact I am talking about them as a way to express to
others my direction without having to ever go there
I forgive myself for
not accepting and allowing myself to realize that the more I talk about a point
I want to do / accomplish the less likely I am to actually do it, because if I
were to do it I would just fucking do it
I forgive myself for
not accepting and allowing myself to realize that talking about a point is
avoidance of actually walking the point
I forgive myself for
not accepting and allowing myself to realize that talking about a point from
the starting point of making myself look as if I am walking the point or am
about to walk it is self dishonesty, as separating myself into two beings, the
one who talks as if I will do or am doing something, and the one who is
existing in avoidance and isn't actually doing it, thus being split between my
words and my deeds.
I forgive myself for
accepting and allowing myself to create a loop for myself where I see and
realize that I am trapped in an endless cycle of talking about a point and not
walking it but at the same time still believing myself to be actually trapped,
not realizing that I can simply stop the cycle in one decision, in one breath
I forgive myself for
accepting and allowing myself to create a cycle for myself where I am already
sick and tired of hearing myself speak about the things I want to do, such as
to support myself in writing, and then as I see myself not do it to judge myself
and add self hatred to the situation, instead of simply seeing myself in the
loop and make a deliberate decision in that moment to take immediate action and
to for example sit down to write
I forgive myself for
accepting and allowing myself to create such a big deal out of sitting down and
writing where I have become so intimidated of writing that it really seems like
a huge point to tackle, when in fact I have been writing since the first grade,
and it is not in fact a big huge task, but rather one that I simply must direct
myself to do, and once I start doing it each time I realize that not only is it
not as hard / scary as I feared, but in most cases I rather end up enjoying
myself.
I forgive myself for
not accepting and allowing myself to remind myself that I do in fact enjoy
writing and that many things that I tend to avoid and feel like I have to fight
with myself in order to do are things that once I allow myself to get started I
actually enjoy them.
I forgive myself for
accepting and allowing myself to re-live the pattern/memory from my childhood
where my parents would urge me to go into the bath and I would fight them not
to but once I was in I would love it so much that I wouldn't want to get out
I forgive myself for
not accepting and allowing myself to learn from the memory above but instead to
re-live it as to be frozen in time within it, instead of evolving / growing
from it
I forgive myself for
accepting and allowing myself to spend so much of my time and energy in trying
to avoid doing the things I really want to do, instead of just fucking doing it
I forgive myself for
accepting and allowing myself to fill up my time with complaining about not
wanting to do the things I actually on a deeper level want to do, or
complaining about not doing the things I say I want to do, instead of just
fucking doing them
I forgive myself for
not accepting and allowing myself to establish a clear starting point within
myself as to why I want to do the things I say I want to do
I forgive myself for
not accepting and allowing myself to realize that without a clear starting
point it is no surprise that it has been hard for me to stay dedicated to a
decision that I am unclear about what it stands for and who I am within it.
I commit myself to
find and define within myself a clear starting point, to investigate what that
even means to me, to create from within myself the definition of why am I
walking and where am I going.
I also commit myself
to write daily, even if just one sentence of self forgiveness or one point of
realization, I commit to write out a self directed supportive statement /
paragraph / blog each day. Within this, I commit myself, if resistance to
writing still comes up, to write about the resistance and not allow myself to
be directed by it, but rather to take it as a point of self discovery and
exploration, and at the very least, as something to write about.
Sunday, July 7, 2013
I started a new type of job and it requires me to push through and walk beyond my comfort zone, I have to approach people, call people, talk to people, and sell to people - when I was a child I wouldn't even like going up to the bagel stand and buy a bagel - I would ask the grown ups to do it for me, I didn't like phoning my friend's home (back in the day before everybody had their own private line or cell phone) because I didn't want their parents to pick up and talk to me, I hid through out my entire bat miztva party so I wouldn't have to talk to my relatives, and the list of situations where I avoided interaction with people goes on and on - and now I am walking into a line of work that is 100% people oriented…
So, why did I fear people so much? Well, there was "what if I don't speak clearly and they don't understand what I'm saying" (specifically in the states where I was self conscious about my Israeli accent), "what if they ask me something and I don't understand or hear the question and I have to have them ask or explain it again and it becomes an awkward moment", "what if they ask me how I am doing and I don't know what to answer" - I always had this idea about myself that I don't know how to hold a "small-talk" conversation, that I'm not good with the chit chat, that other people seem to do so naturally, I always felt awkward, I never like those awkward moments when no one is speaking and I feel like it's my responsibility to direct the conversation but I don't have anything substantial to say. This point is interesting because I'm been living and expressing myself as a character that is very friendly and outspoken, and I give an impression as if I am confidant and comfortable around people, but I have always been very self conscious and uncomfortable.
There is one specific memory I have, I was about 5 years old and I'm walking by a group of people, they are sitting on their porch and I remember I was worried about them watching me, so I walked by and had my head facing the ground but my eyes were turned towards them, looking at them, checking to see if they are looking at me - years later I've seen kids doing the same thing and it's hilarious because all I wanted was to be invisible, I didn't want to be seen or looked at, and then I go ahead and walk in such an obvious way, which draws that much more attention… lol…
I've spent so much time and energy worrying about what other people will think of me, allowing this to limit me into a freeze where I don't want to do or say anything is fear of the interaction, fear of messing up, making a fool out of myself, being seen as a joke, humiliating myself, and so on.
I've learnt to deal with this construct but I is very much still alive and kicking within me, still wanting to be validated and approved, still feeling awkward speaking to people that I am intimidated by, still get intimidated by people that for some reason I have defined as superior in some way, or myself, in relation to them, as inferior.
So I'm now facing this journey, and this job is a great opportunity to walk through these points, it's kind of like a big practice field, where I get to push myself again and again and again to face these inner demons as these fears that I have allowed myself to be directed by and that I have allowed to control my life.
I'll open this point up further with self forgiveness, to prepare me for the coming week, and I'll come back to this point as I walk it and as points come up. Already just by starting writing about it all these memories came up , so there is plenty of work to do here in clearing myself and allowing myself to change out of this character that I have lived throughout my life, as it has not been supportive, nor effective at all, and it's about time to let it go and "grow up" as I nurture myself and grow upwards into and as myself, as to live and express the full potential of myself that I have not been allowing myself to live and exist as because I have been allowing myself to diminish myself in fears as self limitation.
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
this is a continuation of my previous blog:
Day 173 – Still not good enough
Day 174 - Laziness or Inadequacy?
Day 175 – Priorities
Day 176 - The Last Minute
a must hear - Why do we not access our full potential? Why do we hold ourselves back?:
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to push myself, as to actually put in the effort, dedication and commitment to push myself, to motivate myself, to move myself
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to find my "inner force" of which to push myself from, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist in separation from my "inner force" as within a belief that there is a force separate from me, that I must find within myself and use, instead of realizing myself as one and equal with the force as myself, and thus realize that it isn't a separate force that must be found within myself but rather it is I that I mist find within self honesty, and within realizing myself as who I am and what I have become, to from knowing myself become the strength of me as me, not in separation, but as the living expression as me.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to push myself beyond my comfort zone, to push myself through the resistance, and within this allowing the force of the mind, as resistance to movement, to direct and control me, to force me into stagnation, not realizing that the force of the mind is in fact using my force as myself as my physical body, and thus, it's the greatest self manipulation / deception, as I am avoiding using my force on the one hand, and on the other hand my force is being used against me as my mind as resistance as myself.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that in every moment of every breath I am in fact making a choice, I am either directing myself or allowing myself to be directed by the mind as following my feelings / emotions / thoughts / beliefs / fears / resistances and so on, and within allowing myself to be directed and controlled by the mind, as the choice I make in each moment, I am allowing myself to exist in consequences where I, and others, pay the price for my actions and words
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to realize that I am not changing because it is time for action yet I am not taking action, and thus I am allowing myself to exist in inner conflict as I know what I must do yet I don't allow myself to do it as practical physical application, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, when opportunity presents itself, as an opportunity I can walk out of my pattern as giving up / procrastination / self judgment and so on, instead of standing up within myself, I allow myself to give up once again, knowing in full awareness that I am harming myself, knowing in full awareness that I am going against myself, yet I do not stand and do not walk the practical application
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deliberately give myself excuses and justifications and reasons and distractions as to not do that which I know I must do, to not dedicate in practicality to that which I know I must dedicate myself to - and thus, with every moment of every day I am allowing myself to drift further away from myself as myself in self honesty, as I grow the gap between myself as who I am and myself as who I want to become as self expression of self honesty and self responsibility.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to sabotage myself deliberately as I see an opportunity of change and don't take it, and as I see it pass by me I take into consideration and calculate the price I will pay as self judgment, though I do not allow myself to see the entire picture, and so I am blinded by self interest within making the short term calculation of "oh, then I will not apply myself now and will experience some self judgment, I can take it" not seeing that it's not all about how I will experience myself for a few moments, because every moment that I allow myself to be directed by the mind I weaken myself as life, I abuse myself as life, I disregard myself as life, and thus I allow within my acceptance for all to participate in such construct, as I give my permission through my example of disregarding / abusing / weakening life itself - and so, I make my decision based on short sighted self interest, not allowing myself to see and realize the actual consequences of my participation within giving up as self diminishment - not even seeing the actual harm and abuse I am causing myself, never mind any body else - and so I make this decision blinded, within ignorance is bliss, but within myself in self honesty I know I must stand up for life as myself, though I am too careless to care enough about myself or anyone in existence.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to, over the years, program myself to such an extent of enslavement to the mind, as to not care about myself or anything / anyone in existence, to not care for life, and so, I exist only within self interest of the mind, pretending to care, pretending to be good, when I do not even allow myself to do the one most basic thing as to care for myself, to look after myself in self respect self honor and self dignity, within living as an example of self responsibility in self honesty - where, as long as I can't live as self expression of self care / honor / respect, how can I ever believe myself to be anything but self interest and pure evil - just as a mother that will not care or her children, abuse them and disregard their life - as that mother towards her child - I am towards myself - and it is equally unacceptable and a reflection of the evil ways of self interest.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to come to this conclusion time and time again, yet, when the point is here for me to stand up for myself, to stand up and support myself through self corrective application, as to write myself out, to self investigate any reaction that come up within me, to forgive myself and correct myself in breath - when these opportunities arrive, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to direct myself to walk these points, but instead to ignore them as myself time and time again, not realizing that I am deeming myself into a time lop, as the point will be walked sooner or later, and thus, every time I miss the opportunity I am simply delaying the next point to open up, while inviting this one to open up with greater force
I realize I have been avoiding looking at the specifics of this point, as opening up the dimensions as the actual back chat, thoughts, imaginations, connection, definitions, fears - all points as the specific mind components that have been building up this point of giving up, as not applying myself, as self sabotaging my process, and so, I commit myself to walk this point through in all it's dimensions, because I realize that without seeing all the small details of this point I will not be able to free myself from it.
To be continued
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Sunday, March 17, 2013
this is a continuation of my previous blog:
Day 173 – Still not good enough
Day 174 - Laziness or Inadequacy?
A must hear:
Where does Self-Judgment come from – from the World around us, or from our own Imaginations?
Has your Self Image negatively influenced your life? Here we discuss How Self Judgment takes over every aspect of your Life, Thoughts and experiences.
Why would we say things to ourselves that we would never dare to say to another?
Why do we feel like we deserve to be punished through our own self judgment and how does the media contribute to this feeling?
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a priority list and then spend my time doing other things for my enjoyment as entertainment / socializing and not get to the priority list that I have made for myself as self support in directing myself to know what I need to do, thus existing in separation within and as myself as, in one moment I am directive and place my tasks nicely prioritized in a list, and the next moment I ignore it, as myself, completely, and don't do that which I intended to do, but instead occupy myself with other stuff, just wasting the minutes of the day away, to then suddenly "remember" that I had made this list and didn't attend to it, and so I judge myself and experience a low as feeling bad for not doing what I intended to do.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as a split personality, in separation of / as myself, where in one moment I am here, I know what I need to do, I know what must be done, I know how I want to direct myself, and then, the next moment I completely disregard myself and the tasks that I have decided to attend to, and do "what I feel like" as satisfying my momentary desire / laziness to then once the moment has past, to regret losing all this time, in realizing that I cannot get this time back, and feel bad for wasting another day of not walking in the path I had intended for myself, but rather allowed myself to be distracted, fooled, by the mind as desire / distractions / laziness, thus, not allowing myself to actually follow through within / as self direction, but always intending to direct myself but then giving up and following my mind.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realize and understand the extent of self sabotage within allowing myself to continue participating within / as this construct, where I experience a high as I am making the decision to walk and do specific tasks that I have placed as priority, and then experience indifference as I follow the mind as avoidance / distraction as to not do that which I intended to do, to then experience a low as feeling bad, guilty and ashamed for not following through with what I had decided / committed myself to do, within creating another experience as another layer of belief that I am not good enough, am incapable, am inadequate and so on…
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realize and understand that as long as I allow myself to follow the energetic addiction of the mind, as allowing myself to go through energetic ups and downs, I will never be self directive, I will never be able to trust myself, for as long as I follow the energy I am living only as self interest, when in fact I am not even serving my own interest, because it always ends in feeling bad about myself, and so I allow myself to follow the momentary self interest just like a junky wanting to get another hit from their drug, to then crash, feel I miserable, to then after the low has past, to forget the cycle and go through it all over again, like a rat in a wheel, running in the same spot for ever and ever, never accomplishing anything and not knowing how to get myself out of this loop.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I do not know how to get out of this loop, when in fact I do know, and thus I am only using the belief of "I don’t know how" as another form of self manipulation to keep myself trapped in this cycle of self misery and underachievement / accomplishment, not in my own best interest in common sense as an actual practical decision made in stability, but rather as an addict, making the decision to hit again, even though I know the consequences will be of self abuse and suffering, as regret and shame, yet I continue and ignore myself, disregarding myself as a living being that deserves to enjoy life, to honor and respect myself, and continue following the path of the drug, in total self sabotage, braking myself down one piece at a time, instead of supporting myself to build myself up, to stand up within and as myself, to be all that I can be, to make a directive decision and walk it, to build self trust, self honor and self respect.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create an entire relationship construct to the pattern of not following up on my commitments, and thus, not only to exist within and as the one pattern, but now to exist as two, as one pattern birth another pattern, as I give life to my patterns and allow them, as myself, to reproduce, instead of stopping the patterns within the realization that they do not support me, but rather harm and abuse me, and thus, to stop my participation within them, through writing daily, applying self forgiveness and correcting myself first in writing as practical application statements, and then in physicality to actually walk the correction.
I experience the self empowerment within writing, when and as I write, I experience myself seeing more clearly, seeing how I am harming myself - I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deprive myself this self support as writing, where I realize that the more I write the more clearly I see, the more clearly I will be able to live as myself - I have placed writing on top of my priority list and thus have been resisting doing it, always looking for other activities to occupy myself with, until it's so late and I'm tired, and all that is left of the day if for me to write just the very minimum and promise myself I will continue tomorrow, just to follow it up with the same pattern
I have come to realize that I have created a resistance to "priority list" as if I have defined it within myself as in relation to work, to bad things one should avoid, I have connected "priority list" with responsibility, and responsibility to being an adult, and being an adult as not having fun and enjoying life - when in fact I know that the more I allow myself to live as self direction I will enjoy myself more, because I will trust myself and respect myself and stop myself from falling each time over again in the trap of guilt, shame and regret.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect "priorities" to something that must be avoided, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to automatically resist my priorities even though I have decided to them in clarity and stability, yet within the automated resistance I do not allow myself to follow myself, but rather I follow the resistance - because it is momentarily easier, though I know in the long run it creates much distress in my life. So silly.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create the connection between priorities and avoidance, as to exist within a constant competition with myself, as who will run faster, me or my priority, as I chase it and it, as the resistance, runs away - I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make a game out of running away from my responsibilities / priorities, as if there is something cool about it - where I realize I have created an idea within myself about the "bad guys", probably from movies, where I have created a belief that those that do what they want in the moment and disregard everything, are actually free and "know how to live in the moment", when in fact I have got it all in reverse - living in the moment is being one with myself in every moment, and not existing in constant inner conflict where in every moment self experience / desire something else and then self chases self's desires all the time, believing self to be "living the moment" when in fact not one moment is being actually lived, because it is always interrupted by the next one and next one… and life goes on, and one has never been one with / as self - it's rather sad - yet, I have believe it to be the way I want to live - no responsibility, no care, no worries - I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that responsibility / care is something to avoid, that it will take away my freedom, but what kind of freedom do I have when I cannot even chose to do anything and actually follow through? And what kind of life would I live if I don't allow myself to care for anything, including myself, just because I don't want to "pay the price" of taking responsibility and actually accomplishing / achieving something in my life, from the perspective, that any form of self expression, as creation can only happen with self care, and with following through - I must care enough to finish that which I've started, no matter how small or big the task / project may be, I must take responsibility, not as a "bad thing" within judging all responsibilities as something bad and limiting, but as a way to experience completion, as to start something and to follow it through into completion.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge all priorities / responsibilities as something bad that exists in contradiction to my freedom, not realizing that as long as I allow myself to be trapped within this self judgment I am not free, as I cannot even decide for myself to follow through with anything, because each moment I realize "oh, I have made a commitment towards something, now it has become a priority / responsibility" at that very moment I back off and begin avoiding - what kind of freedom is that if I am not free to direct myself in freedom?
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to follow the thoughts of "oh, I have made a commitment towards something, now it has become a priority / responsibility" within the belief that priority / responsibility is something to avoid, and thus whenever I realize I have decided on something I automatically go into resistance.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as a self sabotaging robot, where the moment I realize I have decided, and made a commitment towards something I automatically back off and brake my own word to myself, and within participating in the resistance I am actually creating the task / priority / responsibility to become something that is hard to walk, to complete, because I have just created a resistance around it, I have made it difficult - where as without participating in the resistance, it is simply a task, no judgment necessary, simply something that needs to be done, and within breath just walk it, step by step into it's completion.
To learn more about yourself and how reality functions, please consider a FREE online Course
Desteni I Process Lite - Learn Practical Life Skills Online
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Saturday, March 16, 2013
this is a continuation of my previous blog:
Day 173 – Still not good enough
A must hear:
Where does Self-Judgment come from – from the World around us, or from our own Imaginations?
Has your Self Image negatively influenced your life? Here we discuss How Self Judgment takes over every aspect of your Life, Thoughts and experiences.
Why would we say things to ourselves that we would never dare to say to another?
Why do we feel like we deserve to be punished through our own self judgment and how does the media contribute to this feeling?
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within an idea that I am not capable and believe this idea to be the truth of me, instead of realizing that I am using this idea as an excuse to get out of my responsibilities, and thus, I prefer to see myself as inadequate, as powerless, rather than admitting that I am deliberately not taking the responsibility that is mine to take, within living and existing within / as self interest as only doing that which I please at the moment and not considering anything and anyone beyond the reach of my momentary satisfaction / enjoyment
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to prefer seeing myself as inadequate rather than admitting that I just don't care - don't care enough about myself to push myself, to motivate myself, and to direct myself to be all that I can be, so instead I have created myself within the belief that I simply cannot, that I am not good enough, that I cannot expand, learn and prefect myself, that I cannot free myself from the limitations of the mind - as I'd rather believe I cannot than admit that I simply won't - and thus, in time I have forgotten this self manipulation and actually believe that I cannot, and from this point on I can pretend that I care, that I want to change, that I want to expand and free myself from the mind's limitations, that I want to direct myself in self honesty as what is best for all in equality and oneness - but I simply cannot - thus, completing the enslavement, the entrapment of the mind - giving in to this endless spiral of accepted limitation, instead of standing up within this realization and not allowing this to go on, within seeing and realizing the self abuse that I am inflicting upon myself, and the deliberate disregard of what is going on within me and around me to continue within this self created game - just to get out of pushing, putting in the effort, working hard towards actually changing myself and living as an example of that which I want to believe that I care about.
I realize that believing that I care for equality and oneness as what is best for all is empty words, is a lie each time it is spoken, as long as I don't back it up with physical actions, with actual physical doing - thus, I realize that as long as I don't stop myself from participating in this pattern of self defeat, as long as I continue entertaining my mind within believing myself to be inadequate, as long as I don't push myself with all the force I have within me, to change, to walk, to write, to live, I cannot speak of what is best for all in equality and oneness, as I am not even living it as myself, I am not even pushing nor trying to live it as myself - thus, existing within inner conflict as the manifestation of separation, the opposite of that which I claim I am walking towards as equality and oneness
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as this inner conflict where on the one hand I see the common sense in walking the principle of equality and oneness, I see the common sense in creating a system that is best for all, I see how I have been enslaved to the mind in limitation and fear, I see all this and want to put an end to it, and on the other hand, instead of standing up within myself, and pushing myself in the physical reality to actually get myself sorted out, I simply don't, I don't within the justification as a belief that I am inadequate, a belief of self doubt, of fear, while all these accepted beliefs are actually hiding my reluctance of getting my hands dirty, of doing some hard physical labor, as writing, as facing myself, as walking through the resistance breath by breath in seeing all that I have become, as doing what needs to be done to change myself, to correct myself, to move myself to become that which I want to become, and thus I hide from myself the actuality of myself as not caring enough about myself to actually push myself to do that which is in self honesty, in my best interest to do, and instead I do that which is actually self harming and abusive as allowing myself to diminish myself in self deception, as I exist in the belief of inadequacy while seeing my goals of bettering myself fade away.
I realize that only I can make the decision to change myself
I realize that only I can push myself to change myself
I realize that only I can change myself
I realize that once I allow myself to participate in my mind as thoughts / back chat it is already "too late" as I am already in the process of giving up, and thus, I realize that I must stop myself before it's "too late"
Within this, I realize that every moment is a new moment and thus, even though I have allowed it to be "too late" many times before, in each new moment I have the opportunity to stop myself and support myself in writing, self forgiveness, as practical application, every moment I can make the decision to stop participating in the deceptive self belief that I cannot, within realizing that in order to care about myself I must act in correlation of self care - "fake it until you make it" sort of thing, because I know within myself that I do care about myself yet I have programmed myself in such separation that I have lost contact with this self care, self love, self nurturing, self acceptance, and thus, I realize that as part of changing myself in the physical reality, I must ask myself "what would I do in this moment to support myself in practice of self care?" and to act on the self honest answer that I find within myself
I realize at first it will seem like I'm not aligned with myself, but it's true, I am not aligned with myself, how can I be if I have been abusing myself in self judgment and self belittlement for years
When and as I see myself drifting in thoughts of resistance, I stop myself and breathe, I realize I am standing at a point of decision and I ask myself what would I do if I were to care for myself enough to support myself, in order to give myself direction - and I follow my own direction.
When and as I see myself deliberately sabotaging myself as not doing that which would be most beneficial and supportive for me to do, I stop myself and breathe, I remind myself that I am here, I am my only existence, and if I don't care for myself and won't support myself no one will, I remind myself that all the love that I seek, and all the approval that I look for in others exist within myself if I only allow myself to give myself self care, self love, if I only allow myself to support myself.
I commit myself to be gentle with myself, to nurture myself into health so to speak, as up until now I have not been self supportive, I have been neglecting myself, I have been abusing myself - I commit myself to establish self care through writing and exposing myself to myself, as to, within and through the guilt and shame of not caring for myself, find my way back to myself as self care, self support and self love.
I commit myself, within realizing that equality and oneness must start with self first, that as long as I am not one and equal within and as myself, whereas self sabotage / abuse stems from separation and exists as inequality - I cannot expect to see equality and oneness anywhere externally - and thus I realize that I must live as an example that equality and oneness as what is best for all life is possible, because only through living the principle for and as myself can I be truly confidant that this change is possible, and as long as I don't live it as myself it exist only as an idea / belief, thus, to make it a reality, to birth life into equality and oneness I must live it as myself - this is my responsibility.
when and as i see myself going into the energetic experience of wanting to quite / give up within an experience of overwhelmingness where thoughts of inadequacy come up, i stop myself and breathe and direct myself to write at least one statement of self forgiveness as to support myself to get out of the funk, to return to myself here as the physical in writing, and to from there push myself to stand, to do something that is of self support, whether physical movement such as stretches, or writing, or simply sitting down and doing that which i have been avoiding – either way – whenever i see myself going into the state of resistance as self doubt / diminishment – i commit myself to do within breath, at least one physical action of self support and from there to push myself further, one breath at a time
To learn more about yourself and how reality functions, please consider a FREE online Course
Desteni I Process Lite - Learn Practical Life Skills Online
Also, Please check out the following Links:
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