Showing posts with label impatience. Show all posts
Showing posts with label impatience. Show all posts
Thursday, October 25, 2012
This blog is a follow up from my previous blog
Day 69 - Friendship - Part 11 – Spitefulness – Part 1
Day 70 - Spitefulness - Part 2 - Self Forgiveness
Today I am walking the corrective statements on the self forgiveness I wrote on yesterday's blog, regarding the characters that I have been participating within and that have been the source/justification for the spiteful character
I commit myself to continue investigating/forgiving the point of spitefulness that I have allowed myself to exist as, and to through writing, self forgiveness, corrective statement, walk myself into correcting, through supporting myself within/as breath as I see myself go into the character of spitefulness wither within thoughts as back chat, words or deeds, thus I commit myself, through writing and exposing to myself the dimension of spitefulness, to build up my awareness of myself as to be able to see the character of spiteful and stop it before I actually act on it, and continue investigating the point until I have walked it and have stopped myself from all/any participation within/as the character of spitefulness, as it is completely unacceptable and only designed to create conflict within and without as a way to tempt me and others to participate within/as energy which is designed to consume the physical as ourselves and to separate us from being here as the physical as life
I commit myself to investigate myself within/as competition as I realize that there is no justification for competition as it creates a world of winners and losers and thus can never be of actually of support to all as equals, thus any participation within competition is by definition destructive/abusive/evil, and thus I commit myself to stop myself through applying the desteni tools, and within that I commit myself to when seeing myself going into spitefulness within the character of competition to stop myself within/as breath as i have realized that it is a dead end in terms of nothing supportive will come out of it, it is a loop of spitefulness that ends with just more spitefulness and thus pointless and unnecessary
I commit myself to stop myself within/as breath when/as I see myself going into the character of arrogance, I commit myself to further investigate the character of arrogance as to be able to see it's dimensions and within seeing allowing myself to stop myself at earlier and earlier stages of my participation/creation within/as this character, within this, I commit myself to stop myself within/as breath when/as I see myself going into spitefulness through the character of arrogance, as I have seen, realized and understood that it is a construct/design that I am participating within to create an energetic reaction within me and the other, thus supporting the mind as it feeds off of what is actually here as the physical, I commit myself to stop myself from participating within/as spitefulness/arrogance, because I realize I have been doing so to present/experience myself as powerful, as a cover up of the actual inner experience of inferiority/weakness that I have created myself as and have allowed myself to exist as, within this I commit myself to, any time I see myself going into/participation within arrogance/sinfulness to stop myself within breath and take a look at what am I trying to hide from myself within the actual experience of myself of inferiority/worthlessness , I commit myself to investigate why/how I have defined myself as more/better than the other through which I have allowed myself to believe myself to be more than them, because I realize that it is merely a mind construct/design created by myself through copying from those around me, within trying to present myself as more than, instead of realizing equality and living as what is bets for all within support for all as equals
I commit myself to further investigate the point of impatience within me, within the character of impatience I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into and express myself as spitefulness, not realizing that the point of impatience is created by myself within/as myself and thus acting in spitefulness indicates that I am blaming the other for creating the experience of impatience within me, thus not taking self responsibility for the totality of myself within realizing that no one else can create an experience within me but me, so within this I commit myself to when/as I see myself going into impatience I stop myself within/as breath, I bring myself back here to the physical body which is the reality of myself, I allow myself to take the point back to self and look at what have I allowed to trigger within me the character of impatience and within seeing the point of trigger to forgive myself for it and let it go, to bring myself to a point of total self directive principle as not allowing any external trigger to direct me as the experience of myself, within this I commit myself to stop the link between impatience and spitefulness because I realize that through it I am creating another layer within myself as separation of/from myself, so I breathe, I stop, I investigate, until I am walking, clear, as breath, here, as life.
I commit myself to further investigate the point of jealousy, I realize that any jealousy within me is a projection of self judgment onto another within spitefulness, and this is unacceptable, I commit myself to stop myself within/as breath when/as I see myself going into the back chat/thoughts of jealousy where I compare myself to another and perceive them to be/have all that I want to be/have, within this I commit myself to if/when I see myself going into jealousy, I stop and breathe, I allow myself to investigate the point of accepted self judgment within/as myself, I realize it is not about the other being, they are merely a reflection/mirror supporting me to see/face myself as who I have accepted and allowed myself to be and exist as, thus I commit myself to realize this point of jealousy as support, as it is what is here and thus I can work with it in seeing another layer/pattern/behavior/character of myself, and thus I am grateful for any experience of jealousy that come up and commit myself to walk through it within writing/self forgiveness/corrective statements to see what am I jealous of, what am I showing myself what have I been hiding from myself through automatically going into spitefulness and not staying with my focus on myself but diverting my focus on the other which is simply here as support as a mirror - always showing me myself, if I allow myself to open my eyes and see
I commit myself to further investigate the point/character of revenge within me, I commit myself to stop myself within/as breath when I see myself going into the character of revenge within thoughts/words/actions as expressed within the spiteful character, within realizing that any point of revenge is created through blame and abdication of self responsibility within allowing abuse, within this I commit myself to stopping myself within the desire to hurt another within spitefulness/abuse due to the justification that they deserve it as revenge because I believe they have done me wrong, within this I commit myself to stop myself from judging others due to realizing that my reaction towards them and allowing myself to blame them is a point of not facing myself within self honesty, within this I realize that I must focus on myself and walk my own process first, that means that each and every reaction I have towards another is an opportunity for me to come closer to myself, so to speak, and allow my to see more of me as who I have created myself as and have been hiding this creation from myself, within this I commit myself to stop myself as revenge from a starting point of realizing that I do not know/see the entirety of the other being, thus do not see the big picture of who they are, and within this through revenge spitefulness I am allowing myself to limited them into/as a one dimensional idea I have created about them and within this idea have decided upon myself to revenge their actions, instead of simply stopping, breathing, bringing myself back to myself and working out my shit before I preaching/judging others, within this I realize that only through first seeing/facing myself and recognizing the entire patterns I have created and have been participating within will I even be able to actually support another to seeing themselves through being a living example of living what is best for all, including that which I currently judge and want to revenge, only once I can live as equal to all that I perceive as evil, and thus allow myself to see the evil within me, can I support another to see the evil within themselves, I commit myself to walk my own process, until I have proven to myself self stability
I commit myself to stop myself within/as breath when I see memories of others being spiteful towards me start coming up as a self justification paving the way for the spitefulness to follow, within this I commit myself to stop the memories and not allow myself to go into them, and believe them, I have realize that the memory is tainted with the experience I allowed myself to have in that moment and within that have placed the blame on another instead of taking self responsibility in the very moment the event occurred, and thus the memory is not valid because it has been stored within a starting point of self dishonesty, thus I commit myself to stop the memory and forgive myself for holding onto it, until I am clear and am walking within/as breath and not being interrupted by memories of the past, coming to hunt me and create conflict/friction within/as myself and my relationships
I commit myself to investigate the point of limitation within allowing myself to believe that another being can limit me in any way, not realizing that any experience of limitation is self created and thus only I am responsible for it, within this I commit myself to when I see myself becoming spiteful towards another for perceiving them to be limiting me I stop myself and breath, I bring myself back here and look at reality for what it is and show myself until I actually get it and integrate it as myself that no one is actually limiting me but me, and within believing another is limiting me I am actually showing myself points/character of inferiority that I have allowed myself to exist as, and thus I commit myself to investigate the points within self honesty as only through seeing the specifics of each point will I be able to free myself from the limitations I have created myself as, as the mind, and within showing myself the self created limitation I can take direction of/as myself and stop being directed by/as the mind as limitation/inferiority
I commit myself to stopping myself as the character of blame because I realize it is a self manipulation tactic to keep me from taking self responsibility for/as myself in every moment within realizing that only I am responsible for myself, and in a grater scale responsible for everything in existence as myself, and thus I commit myself to stop blame within/as breath because as long as I blame I am not allowing myself to see the real true evil nature of myself as I turn the focus on others to carry the blame instead of looking at it practically within common sense and seeing what is my responsibility of/in regards to the situation
I commit myself to walk the point of spitefulness until I am clear and do not participate within it any more, I realize this will take time, as it took many years for me to design myself as the character and thus I realize the many layers/dimensions this character holds within/as it, within/as myself, and thus I commit myself to walk humbly, patiently, slowly, forgiving myself for point by point by point, while allowing myself to go into all the layers/characters/acceptances of weakness/inferiority/worthlessness/fear that I have allowed myself to exist as and thus to direct me - no more, I commit myself to through walking this process within utilizing the tools provided of writing, self forgiveness and commitment statements, to walk myself free of the limitations/beliefs I have created as myself, to stop myself as the religion of self I have allowed myself to exist as, to stand up as life, to breathe, to acknowledge my physical body and existence as a whole, and to walk until it is done, until I am no more reacting from an automated response program, until I am no longer participating in anything that is not supporting all as life as equals, until I am here in every breath, within self trust, walking what is best for all and living as a living example of life
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Sunday, October 7, 2012
continue from previous blogs:
Day 51 – Blame character – Part 1
Day 52 - Blame character - Part 2 - Reacting to Tonality - Self Forgiveness
I commit myself to stop myself within/as breath when/as I see myself experiencing being attacked by the interpretation I have given the tonality that is spoken towards/around me, within this I commit myself to remind myself within/as breath that words cannot harm me unless I give them value and accept them as an attack
I commit myself to when reacting to a tonality, investigate the memory I am allowing to direct me, within the understanding that the energetic reaction I am holding towards the tonality of how words are spoken to me are indicating that I am holding on to past experiences as memories and reliving them over and over through allowing myself to be triggered by them, thus, I commit myself to accept my reactions to tonalities as a gifts that are showing me back to myself, as another experience/memory/personality I must clear and free myself from, so that I can walk stable and be equal to/as myself in every breath, here
I commit myself to, when I see myself defining someone as authoritative, to stop myself and breathe, to realize I am communicating with a being who is equal to/as me, and thus to stop myself from accepting myself as less than, I am being, living and walking and eating and shitting and am unconditionally equal to all beings, I realize that any inferiority is of the mind and is a preprogrammed design, designed in the purpose of creating energy through conflict/friction, I commit myself to when I see myself reacting to someone I have defined as authoritative to consider it as a gift for myself to see myself as I walk myself back here, out of the mind as energy and into the physical, within/as breath
I commit myself to stop myself within/as breath when I see myself interpreting someone's tonality as being attacking, within realizing that attack is of separation of the mind and thus any participation/acceptance of/within accepting attack is supporting the mind, and within that allowing the continued enslavement of myself and all of existence, thus I commit myself to when reacting towards the belief that I am being attacked, to stop and breathe, to bring myself back here to the physical and consider what is here as life, as what is being said in fact and what are the practical implications of it, and not allow myself to go into my mind as energy, within realizing that participation with the mind has only ever created suffering through separation, instead of support as what is best for all life
I commit myself to investigate my relationship with my name, as I realize that I have attached to it meanings, interpretations and energetic reactions, throughout the years, due to past experiences, through hearing my name repeated over and over in specific tonalities while experiencing specific energetic experiences, and thus have connected and "appropriate" reaction to every specific tonality, I commit myself within this to free myself from my own name through a process of writing, self forgiveness and self corrective statements, until it is done
I commit myself to investigate myself as who I am within impatience as I see it is a point that has many layers and I have allowed it to direct me, thus within this, I commit myself to, as I walk the point of impatience and clear it up for myself within writing, self forgiveness, and corrective statement, when/as I see myself participate/react from/towards/within impatience, I stop myself and breathe, I bring myself beck here into my physical body, reminding myself I only exist as one breath and can only do what can be done in one breath, thus I breathe and move, and stop the back chat as impatience or reaction towards impatience
I commit myself to, when interpreting someone being impatient with me to stop and breath, and to communicate with the other as asking them if they are impatient, and thus to not allow myself to go into back chat as reaction that build up as energy that then builds up as resentment, spitefulness and blame, within that I commit myself to considering the other person within understanding that any impatience is not actually personal "against" me, but is reflecting the there being within themselves, thus, I commit myself to focus on myself, to investigate all points of reaction towards impatience and to when interpreting someone as being impatient towards me to check myself as it is an indication that I might be impatient with myself and thus to see where can I improve/correct my application as to not accept others to react as impatience towards me
I commit myself to, when interpreting someone being impatient with me through interpreting and reacting to the tonality of their voice, to stop and breath, and to communicate with the other as asking them if they are impatient, and thus to not allow myself to go into back chat as reaction that build up as energy that then builds up as resentment, spitefulness and blame, within that I commit myself to considering the other person within understanding that any impatience is not actually personal "against" me, but is reflecting them within themselves, thus, I commit myself to focus on myself, to investigate all points of reaction towards impatience and to when interpreting someone as being impatient towards me to check myself as it is an indication that I might be impatient with myself and thus to see where can I improve/correct my application as to not expect others to react as impatience towards me through my projection of self impatience
I commit myself to stop myself within/as breath from going into defense mode when I perceive myself as being attacked through other people's expression within their tonality, instead I commit myself to within breath evaluate the situation and see if I am projecting self impatience onto the other, and thus correct my application and stop the self judgment
I realize there are many points intertwined here, and thus it will be a process that will have to be walked point by point, to entangle all connections I have allowed myself to create and live by within my mind, thus I commit myself to walk this process, one breath at a time, one step at a time, one point at a time, as each point opens and more of self is revealed and can be walked through writing, self forgiveness, corrective statements, and practical application within the physical, I commit myself to remind myself this is a process of specificity and must be walked as such
I commit myself to within walking this process of self realization and correction, to stop all self judgment as I realize that it is a construct of self abuse and self sabotage within separating myself from/as who I have accepted and allowed myself to be/become and to not allow myself within the judgment/shame/guild/regret to face myself as who I am, within this I realize that to be able to change myself I must look at all the points I have accepted myself to exist as, and to investigate how/why/when I have allowed these points to direct me as directive principle instead of being self directed within self honesty as life, I commit myself to walk this process to be sure I will never walk down the same path again, and I can trust myself to stand in support of all life as one and equal
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