Showing posts with label mind tricks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mind tricks. Show all posts
Saturday, December 22, 2012
This blog is a follow up from my previous blogs:
Day 123 - Physics and the Desteni Process - From Overwhelmingness to Normal
Day 124 - Behind the Scenes of "Physics and the Desteni Process" series - Self Forgiveness
Day 125 - Behind the Scenes of "Physics and the Desteni Process" series - The Mind as a Pendulum - Self Forgiveness
in relation to the blog series “physics and the Desteni Process”
I started writing the blog series "physics and the desteni process" and within investigating the experience of overwhelmingness that came over me after a few days of starting writing, I realized that my initial starting point of writing about physics wasn't valid as a point within it was that I wanted to prove the physics community wrong, wrong from the perspective of showing that they have been looking at reality through a very narrow lens, and making assumptions that have had harmful consequences on our reality because they carry an entire belief system within them that is not aligned with what is best for all, while disregarding other perspectives that could be more supportive for humanity as a whole.
I wanted to show through physics that reality can, and should, be looked at from a different angle, an angle that it's sole purpose is to benefit our life here on earth, and when I say "our" I mean all of us, all that is here, all humans, all animals, plants, the earth itself and everything created by and from the earth, in other worlds, everything - I realize that even though my intentions were "good" as to show, expose and investigate points within physics and find ways to apply them as what is best for all - my starting point was not valid because it was based on energy - the question that I should always ask myself is "who am I within it" because what I've realized is that I didn't do it from a starting point of humbleness, like a child, investigating the world, asking questions and expressing themselves, but rather from a starting point of ego and separation, as I wanted to prove physics wrong and within that to prove myself "right". Instead of utilizing the tools and the knowledge of physics and applying them within common sense within walking a humble investigation, I have approached it from a starting point of walking into a battle field, preparing myself for war against physics, me against them, and within this starting point I created fear, fear of losing the battle that I have created in my mind, fear of being judged/mocked/ridiculed/crucified by the physics community that I have went to war against.
I realize within this that I have actually been showing myself my participation with my own inner battle, battling between the two personalities within myself that contradict each other, as the "physics" personality and the "desteni" personality, and thus experienced myself in an inner argument between both personalities that I have defined myself as through out my life. It took me a while to realize that I have been projecting my inner battle onto my starting point, and now that I have, I commit myself to investigate, forgive, and let go both personalities within realizing that both are equally limiting me within/as my self expression, and are equally an illusion of self. I realize that within the starting point of a battle, I've walked it as a bully, and in turn expected to be bullied in return, which then created fear within me as the fear of being crucified by the physics community for not being qualified enough to speak my mind about physics. Which then took me to a point of self doubt, "maybe it's true, maybe I am not qualified to speak about it, I didn't study as much as so many others"… and all this mind fuck is a result of my starting point being within energy, desire and inner conflict.
I realize this starting point isn't valid, it isn't valid because I forgot myself within it and instead wanted to prove a point within energy as to win the argument I created in my mind, in a desire to be right, in a battle between personalities, compromising myself through creating a desired end result for the project, as the desire to win the battle and being appreciated by the scientific community, and this desire built up to the belief that I, as the blogs that I write, must be approved and accepted within defining myself and my own self acceptance within the dependency of the acceptance and approval of others. Within this all I have been basically preparing myself to fall, because before starting writing and investigating the point, how can I already desire a specific outcome? While within desiring a specific outcome, anything else I will interpret as a failure, and then go into self diminishment for not making it - what I see here is relevant for any project, how important to remain stable in breathe, here, and walk the points as they open up, one step at a time, not from a starting point of wanting to prove something to anyone, but from a starting point of wanting to clear the point up within/as myself, to investigate for myself, to show myself the common sense in specificity, so that I know for myself that when I speak about equality, or when I speak about anything, I have shown myself the validity of what I am saying, and thus not say it from a belief, but from actual self investigation, and thus can speak it in self trust.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to start a project within a starting point of wanting to prove others wrong and myself right, within this walking within energy as the desire to be right, from a starting point of ego and separation, instead of allowing myself to allocate myself within the starting point and walk the project for/as myself, within doing so, investigating and expending and expressing myself for/as myself, not dependent on others to see and approve my writing as myself, but to walk in self acceptance as I open up the point one step at a time, not within a future projection as a desire to get something out of it, but here, in the moment, writing unconditionally regardless of the outcome.
I commit myself to when starting a new project, to investigate myself as the starting point and to ensure that I am walking the project for/as myself within/as breath, within this, when/as I see that I my starting point is of desire to prove myself right or someone wrong, I stop, I breathe, I realign myself back to myself, I do not allow myself to continue the project while in a starting point of desire to be right, because I've seen the outflow of such a starting point results in self compromising and compromising of the project as a whole, thus I commit myself to take self responsibility for my starting point within everything I do.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into this project from a starting point of a war between me and physics, instead of walking it from a starting point of cooperation, as I utilize the knowledge of physics and further investigate it within the principle of best for all, within looking at the points for the first time in new eyes, as to see how humanity can learn from physics and benefit our reality, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project my inner battle between the two personalities instead of stopping myself and investigating each personality to put both to an end within realizing that both are self limiting because I have defined myself as them and thus felt constraint to maintain the personality, not allowing myself to expand and evolve in every moment of breath according to what is here in every moment, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within a war zone in my mind, and thus create an experience of fear within believing the war to be true.
I commit myself to investigate my starting point within every project I start, within making sure I am not starting it within a war in my mind, as I've realized any idea of a war is a projection of an inner war existing within/as myself and thus I commit myself to take self responsibility to investigate the inner war and to put a stop to it within writing, self forgiveness and corrective statement, as I realize it is not acceptable to exist within an inner war, battling two personalities within myself and projecting this war onto a perceived war with others, I realize the acceptance of inner war is both compromising myself and others as I allow myself to attack them, thus, when I see myself experiencing myself in a war with another, I stop myself and breathe, I take it back to myself and investigate what am I fighting within myself, what are the two points of polarity within myself that I have allowed myself to project and thus exert the war outside of myself and compromise all around me in "dragging" them into my own self created battle.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be blinded by my "good intentions" and thus not allow myself to see that within the starting point of good intentions I am walking within energy, and thus creating an energetic polarity and thus experience fear and overwhelmingness as a result, thus I commit myself to, when going into a project within "good intentions" to stop myself and breathe, to not trust "good intention" blindly but to take a moment and investigate who I am within these intentions, as to find the point of energy within me and clear it up within self forgiveness and to continue walking this point/project in stability and thus prevent the inevitable fall that is sure to come within walking within energy, and thus utilize prevention as the best cure.
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Thursday, December 20, 2012
This blog is a follow up from my previous blogs:
Day 123 - Physics and the Desteni Process - From Overwhelmingness to Normal
Day 124 - Behind the Scenes of "Physics and the Desteni Process" series - Self Forgiveness
in relation to the blog series “physics and the Desteni Process”
Within investigating the point that came up within myself as overwhelmingness towards writing the blog series "physics and the Desteni Process", I came to see the mind as a swinging pendulum, as it takes me from one polarity to the next, as from an energetic high to a low. In this blog I am still walking the point of overwhelmingness as a result of allowing myself to go into excitement and be blinded by it, to then face reality unprepared and fall to the other polarity as the mind's force pulls at me, sand I, as long as I don't stand up and direct myself, will be subject to the force of the mind within it's pendulum like movement. I have made a note to myself to expand on the behavior of a pendulum from a physical perspective, In blogs to follow I will.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become excited about writing the "physics and the Desteni Process" blog series within believing that I am doing something special, valuable and important, within this I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to remain here in stability within realizing that there isn't anything special about self expression and self exploration, this is normal, and thus within realizing that what I am doing is normal I see that the excitement was a mind creation as giving more value to what I was doing, in the self interest of feeling good and special about myself, not seeing that any acceptance and participation in the mind's polarity will sure to be followed by the other end of the polarity, which is what I experienced within going into a state of panic and overwhelmingness, within this I see, realize and understand that the mind works in polarities, moving from one to the other and back again, as a pendulum, out of balance, going back and forth and only resting in the extreme points, thus I realize that any participation within and as the mind whether the good/positive experience of specialness or the bad/negative experience of overwhelmingnss, are both giving the pendulum of the mind more energy and power over me, instead of supporting myself to stop within breath, and not allow myself to give more force to the pendulum, to actually be able to come to the point of rest as the balance point of equilibrium, where the pendulum is not resting for a fleeting moment before it accelerates to the other extreme, but is in fact as rest, here, as all that is here in equilibrium.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get "pumped up" about the physics blog series, and within that not keeping myself grounded as one with breath, within this I realize that the experience of being "pumped up" over something is a for of separation within not allowing myself to look at the reality of the point, to see it for what it is, but instead I have added onto the point value, expectations, future projections and fantasies, within thinking as back chat “I will change the face of physics”, “I will prove the Desteni Message”, “I will assist and support so many beings”, “I will publish a book and become famous”, “This is a dream come true, a dream I never believed I will pursue – this is so exciting”… - and thus within allowing myself to exist within and as my mind and disregard all that is here as the physical practicality of the point, I deluded myself and thus paved the way for a fall, as when my fantasy met reality there was a gap, and within realizing the gap between my self created fantasy and reality is where I allowed myself to fall into overwhelmingness, and thus allow myself to be driven and directed by the mind, going from the one polarity to the other, as a pendulum going back and forth, subject to the force of gravity as I have allowed myself to be subject to the force of the mind.
I am grateful to realize within this point that when I make a decision to do anything it would be most supportive to not allow myself to go into an experience of excitement within realizing the blinding effect the mind is creating through such excitement, to through the blinding excitement set myself up for a fall, thus I realize I must support myself to let go the excitement factor, to let go the expectation and future projections, and simply look at what is here and evaluate the steps required to walk the point, as in this case, the steps were to actually investigate physics, to commit myself to self study, to realize that people will be reading these blogs and will share positive/negative feedback and so on, and thus to prepare myself for each of the points that are practically one with the project I set out to do, thus I realize now, and forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate the project and only see within it specific aspects that within only looking at them I become excited, not allowing myself to realize that I have been deluding myself as deliberately blinding myself to the wholeness of the project and thus to the practicality of walking the project, and thus deliberately setting myself to fall.
within this I see, realize and understand that the point of excitement is a point of self sabotage, as blinding oneself from the reality as the totality of a point within separating it to parts and only allowing oneself to see specific aspects of it that one want to see and thus become excited within self interest to experience the high of the mind's pendulum, while ignoring the predictable outflow as the pendulum will eventually reach the other extreme due to the forces working on it, to then face reality unprepared. Within this, I commit myself to slow myself down within breath, and when approaching a project to allow myself to see it as it's totality, and not allow myself to separate it and blind myself to the part I don't wish to see, as hard work for instance, but instead to make sure I walk into the project as a self committed self directed decision after I have seen all the points and prepared myself properly.
I commit myself to stop myself and breathe when and as I experience myself going into excitement, I commit myself to investigate the point of excitement and not trust it blindly within self interest to feel momentarily good, but to realize the reality of excitement as a polarity extreme that will inevitably end with the other side of polarity being manifested as an energetic low, and so back and forth into infinity, unless I stop my participation and stand up within/as breath and direct myself as one within the physical reality .
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