Showing posts with label illusion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label illusion. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
This is a continuation from my previous blogs:
Day 129 – Self Judgment – Part 1
Day 130 - Self judgment - Part 2 – Appearance
Day 131 - Self judgment - Part 3 – Appearance - Part 2
and for those that are interested in further self support in regards to self image please visit this blog, as it is walked through is specificity, self honesty, and self support: http://malingunilla.blogspot.com
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist in self rejection/hatred due to not living up to the ideal image I have created in my mind, and thus allow myself to abuse myself through self rejection/hatred due to not looking like an image, not realizing that within doing so I am diminishing myself as a living multidimensional being into a one dimensional image, and within diminishing myself to a one dimensional image judge myself as not looking like the image in my mind, within this I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I am not an image, and I am not defined by the way I look but rather by who I am within myself, within my application, within who I am in my relationship to myself as my physical body, and not what my physical body looks like, thus if I accept and allow myself to judge myself for my appearance, that is who I am, equal to my acceptance and allowance as self judgment, as separation of myself as my physical body - thus, I realize it's not about changing my appearance, but rather changing my relationship to and as myself, to become the living expression of self acceptance, of self love, of self honor and self respect, to become one and equal to and as my physical body
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ignore my physical body as a living being, as the chamber that allows me life within the obsession of my appearance, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to be grateful and honor my physical body unconditionally as the chamber in which I live in, as what allows me my physical existence in the physical, and instead I have only judged it within my desire to look a certain way and my physical body not molding itself into my desire, within this I realize that my physical body is real, here as the physical, where as my desire to look a certain way is based on the mind as an illusion, as the acceptance of a beaut ideal that has not passed the test of time, as it changes in each generation, in every new trend and fashion, thus, I realize that my body not molding itself into my desire has given me the opportunity to see my desire for what it is, to realize that I have been existing in my mind as the obsession as self judgment towards my appearance, as creating inner conflict and friction in my life, and within seeing this through the support of my physical body as not following my desire I can now change myself within taking self responsibility for who I am, and stopping myself as the mind, as the illusions my desires have been following.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to within believing I should look like the image in my mind, I have validated and supported and justified through my acceptance and allowance the existence eating disorders which are actually a reflection of myself as I do not accept myself within and as my physical body, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to justify my self judgment within the fact that I do not have an eating disorder because I have never crossed that line, but I haven't realized that I am participating in the same construct as I do not allow myself to accept myself as the physical body I exist within as do beings with an actual extensive eating disorder, thus, by participating in self judgment towards my physical appearance I am in fact participating in and validating eating disorders.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see my physical body through the eyes but through the mind, as the eyes see without judgment while the mind interprets and places judgment within self interest as a way to blind self from actually seeing through the eyes the physical reality which is here, as the mind act in self interest in disregard of the physical body and the physical existence as a whole and thus exists as self judgment to create inner friction and conflict to generate energy consumed from the physical, though this is hidden behind the accepted blinding effect of the mind, as placing the attention on the illusion as appearance instead of reality as what is really going on here on earth, as I have been spending my time caring about my appearance while ignoring the actual atrocities as abuse and suffering that is happening all around me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear disease not within concern to my body's functionality, comfort and well being but within concern to my appearance, how will I look like if I have this or that condition, thus having it all in reverse asi have been ignoring what really matters as matter, as the function of the physical, as the condition of the earth while giving all my attention to myself in self interest within the desire to look in a specific way , I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear disease from a starting point of fear of judgment due to the consequence of the disease as a change in my appearance while ignoring myself within and as the physical body, as the discomfort, pain, suffering, weakness and within this ignoring all the pain and suffering that exist in the world, within this dismissing the opportunity to heal myself and existence as a whole because I have accepted and allowed myself to put all my attention on what I will look like and what people will think of me as a construct of the mind and not on reality as the physical, not through judging it but through practically considering what is best for all life, including my physical body, and acting on it within self honesty and common sense.
I commit myself to stop my participation with judgment of appearance towards myself and towards others, I commit myself, when and as I see myself going into self judgment or judgment towards others, to stop and breathe, to come back to myself as the physical within and as breath and stop my participation within and as the mind, I commit myself to use the self judgment as an opportunity to return to myself within and as breath, thus, when I see myself in a moment of self judgment, I stop and breathe, I stop the thoughts, I stop the back chat, I return here to and as the physical as myself, and I do this time and time again until self judgment is not directing me as my experience of myself, within this I commit myself to write down to myself the specific back chat and specific self judgment that come up, and to walk a process of self forgiveness in self honesty, within realizing that I am harming myself as the physical body while participating in self judgment, and in that allowing harm and abuse of the physical in all it's dimensions and levels, thus I realize that any change must start with self, and thus I commit myself to through walking the process of writing, self forgiveness and self correction in practicality to be a living example that self judgment can be stopped
Monday, November 26, 2012
this is a continuation of my previous blog:
Day 100 - What is REAL
Day 101 - What is REAL - Part 2 - Self Forgiveness
I realize that all that I exist as, as the mind, is an illusion - not only an illusion, but an abusive one, an illusion that is directly abusing myself through creating conflict and friction, creating an unstable experience of ups and downs, that then, as an outflow I allow it to directs me to abuse others to have a sense of control and stability. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed by the mind, as allowing myself to experience ups and downs and then to try and have a sense of control through playing power games with those around me, trying to win, through any means necessary including the allowance of direct and indirect abuse
I realize that I have allowed the mind to play tricks on me, as I allow myself to experience blame or resentment towards someone in my environment, and I believe it to be so, I believe the blame and resentment to be valid, when in fact there are always many layers beneath it, that I am not allowing myself to see through my acceptance and participation with the mind's illusion. When and as I see myself going into the mind, as a reaction towards another in my environment, as blame and resentment, I stop myself and breathe, I realize that this is an opportunity to stop my participation with the mind, it's an opportunity to see/find/face another layer within myself that I have been hiding from myself through/within my acceptance of the blame / resentment, thus, I direct myself to see the reaction as a gift and not judge myself for it but rather allow myself to look within self honesty and find the point that is revealing itself, right beneath the surface, if I would only be willing to see it. Within this I realize that the reaction I am experiencing towards another is actually a point of self support, if I allow myself to take it as such, if I allow myself to investigate myself within self honesty, thus, I commit myself, when and as I react to another, to ask myself, and allow myself to see what am I showing myself, what have I been resisting changing through not allowing myself to see, what have I been trying to hold onto? Within this I realize that the mind is creating distractions for me to not have to face myself, and within my participation I am allowing it to continue doing so, as an agreement I have made with my mind, allowing it to distract me from seeing points I don't want to see, thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not want to face myself, to prefer living in an illusion, to continue existing in fear, instead of allowing myself to face myself within realizing that it is all within myself, it is me, there is nothing to fear, it is not something separate that can hurt me, it is me, thus I commit myself to apply self honesty, and will myself to face myself, because I realize only through allowing myself to face myself will I be able to stop being directed by the mind, and start directing myself as actual self support, and from there to change myself and become a human being that can be trusted
I realize that I have accepted these illusions because I have not been self honest with myself, thus I have allowed myself to hide the actuality of myself within separation of myself, doing so within self interest, as I prefer existing as a lie that makes me look good and justifies myself rather than facing the truth, as the actual reality of who I am, which would imply taking responsibility for my experience/behavior/reaction and all that I participate with and exist as. Thus, I realize that I have been deliberate in my acceptance of the mind, as a preference not to see/face myself. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide myself from myself deliberately through my acceptance and participation within/as the mind, I commit myself to stop this, I commit myself push through the resistance and take self responsibility through first of all seeing/facing who I am, and within self forgiveness to start letting go of the constructs of myself
I realize that I have been existing as the mind without ever questioning it, I realize I have allowed myself to play dumb and hope that those that taught me all that I know, knew what they were talking about, and thus not seeing myself as responsible because I blindly trusted others, instead of using common sense, within seeing reality for hat it is, and within the directive of creating a world that is worth living in for all as the only accepted possibility for existence, I forgive myself for accepting reality as it is and thus have compromised myself, my children and all of life, instead of expanding myself and allowing myself to see that we create the world through our acceptance and allowance, and if the world is unacceptable it's because we are allowing it to continue as it is, and that only we/I can change it through allowing myself to step out of the mind, that has created this mess, and take responsibility and direct myself to create myself as trust worthy, and in turn a world that is life worthy for all
I commit myself to investigate the desteni material, to understand the design of the mind, so that I can stop taking all of it personally within guilt and shame and can start changing my relationship to it, I realize the value of understanding what I am dealing, and I realize it's my responsibility to self educate myself as to how it works, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give myself excuses as to why not investigate the material, I realize that it will take dedication and perseverance, and that even though I have never done it before, I know it's up to me to do it now, thus I commit myself to dedicate myself to understanding how the mind works through listening to the information provided by desteni, and to apply the information daily into myself within investigating myself as to not allow it to become another idea/perspective/interpretation/belief, but to see/investigate for myself, within my life, within my patterns, and to prove to myself it's validity
I realize that by participating within/as the mind as thoughts / feelings / emotions / reaction, I am only considering myself and disregarding all of existence and all living beings within it, within this I realize that I have been justifying myself within self interest because from the perspective of the mind, only I exist, only I count, only I need to be considered, thus, I haven't allowed myself to care about anything but myself, I have been existing in isolation for everything and everyone through existing in/as the mind - I realize that this world would be a great place if we all stop living in isolation, and within this I realize that my personal experience would be way cooler if I stop allowing myself to be enslaved to the mind in isolation, and start living as one with all life that is here, considering all that is here, caring for all that is here, and actually caring for myself.
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Sunday, November 25, 2012
this is a continuation of my previous blog:
Day 100 - What is REAL
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to ever question reality and simply accept it as it has been shown to me by my parents and society, within this simply accepting the world as it is within all the atrocities and abuse, and not once questioning human nature as the cause of it and looking at what needs to be done and how we need to change in order to fix up this world and create a world that is worth living in for all life
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I am the mind, that I am my thoughts/feelings/emotions, and within that allowing myself to be directed by my thoughts/feelings/emotions, while only considering myself as part of the equation and disregarding the physical reality as all the other beings that exist here equally with me, within this I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that all that I have been existing as and believing in has been an illusion, an illusion that is based on self interest through using manipulation/deception to fulfill the desire to feel good, within accepting separation as the truth of existence
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see the abuse I am creating through my participation within/as the mind, through allowing myself to be directed within self interest by the emotions/feelings/thoughts that come up within me uncontrollably, while disregarding common sense, disregarding the physical reality as the earth and nature and other living beings, all in the pursue of happiness, within this
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realize and understand that as long as I am participating within/as the mind as self interest, I am giving my permission and appruval for all to exist within self interest, and thus am allowing any form of self interest to exist, within this I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that the very self interest that I am participating within as the mind, is not actually in my best interest because it is and always has been creating conflict in my life, within this I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that the very nature and structure of the mind is based on conflict / friction / separation / polarity and thus will never bring about an ease, not within my life and not within the world as a whole, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that the very nature of the mind is to create and thrive off of energy that is created through the substance of my physical body and thus abusing/destroying the very body I exist in
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize I am my body, one and equal to/as my body, and within that to realize that any abuse I am inflicting on my body is actual self abuse, but I haven’t allowed myself to realize this because I have been existing within a value system that values the mind more than life, and thus I have allowed myself to disregard my body, as well as the physical existence and to give my attention to only that which goes on in my mind within energy, thus, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that I have been addicted to the energy of the mind, like a drug that has been blurring my vision to ignore the physical reality as what is here and to exist in a bubble created by my mind through my allowance and participation
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate with my hidden/secret thoughts/feelings/emotions, within believing that I have a right to my privacy and to protect my hidden/secret mind, not realizing that by hiding myself I am making a statement that I am actually participating in deception/manipulation/abuse and want to protect myself as I deceive/abuse/manipulate others, within that I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that the very nature and design of secrets implies shame, thus through participating and justifying the secret mind I have been hiding from myself that I am in fact ashamed of who I am and what I do, thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide from myself in shame, instead of facing myself within/as self honesty, to be able to change myself and become a human being that lives as respect/dignity as a living expression of that which is best for all, and thus doesn't need to hide in separation within the secret mind, because there would be nothing to hide, within this I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that the mind, within it's hidden most darkest corners has always been showing me it's true nature of deception/manipulation/abuse, and that I have always been brainwashed, not practicing critical reasoning, but simply eating up whatever my parents/society have taught me, as accepting and legitimizing the pursue of happiness as a valid goal, while blindly following our emotions/feelings/thoughts, not seeing that if we only stopped holding on to ourselves as the mind, we could realize equality and oneness, as what is really here, as the physical, as life
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give my power away to the mind, as allowing myself to become possessed with energy / thoughts / back chat / judgments / emotions / feelings, while believing I am powerless and cannot be the directive principle of myself, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I am powerless instead of dropping this belief within the understanding that it isn't supporting me but is only limiting me and preventing me from standing up, and thus to allow myself to try again and again, and learn from each attempt I make, as to find out for myself, what works for me as to slow down the mind/thought, as to stop the back chat - I have found that bouncing and shaking myself physically within breath has been supportive in getting me out of the mind and back here, I have that writing the point out as self support within a self directive decision to take self responsibility and sort the point out has assisted me in stepping out of the possession, I have found that self forgiveness has been effective in assisting me to open up points and not fall so easily in the trap of self judgment - so I have tools, I have proven to myself that they are effective, and I realize that "practice makes perfect" I realize that the more I apply myself and fall and apply myself again I will become more effective within myself and will be more clear within myself, and will empower myself as life, as self support, to step out of the mind's hold of me, and return here, to where life can be lived, as the physical reality.
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Desteni I Process Lite - Learn Practical Life Skills Online
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Saturday, November 24, 2012
I've reached my 100th blog, no bells or fireworks, just another day and another blog in my journey to birthing myself as life from the physical.
What does this even mean? Am I not alive?
REALITY - The practical physical world each and everyone lives in where the physical laws and consequences are equal for everyone.
One of the most substantial points I have learned since I have been walking with desteni is learning to distinguish between what is real and what is not - there is the physical reality as that which can be touched and smelled, that which is objective and can be shared and experienced by all, and on the other hand there is the mind, as our subjective point of view / perception / perspective of reality - our mind creates within ourselves a personal illusion, as a hidden/secret alternate reality that cannot be shared or experienced by anyone else but ourselves, and it does so through our acceptance, allowance and participation, where we, as our beingness, have given our power away to the mind, and have allowed ourselves to become enslaved to it, thus allowing it to be the directive principle of our existence.
Within submitting ourselves to/as the mind, we have allowed ourselves to exist only in the mind, in ideas / thoughts / beliefs / emotions / feelings / judgments / blame / projections and believing the mind to be reality while disregarding what is actually around us as the physical, and thus we have allowed ourselves to separated ourselves from the actual physical reality as what is actually here, existing within/as an illusion of separation as the mind, instead of walking the earth, one and equal with all that exists here as the physical, as life. Thus, as the mind we are not actually living, because we are existing as an illusion - to actually live would be to stop existing in the mind as separation and to live in awareness of the physical reality and thus become one with all that is here as the physical.
We as human beings, have got it all in reverse, we have programmed ourselves to believe that our mind represents ourselves as who we are, we believe our personalities represents ourselves as who we are, we believe that being alive goes hand in hand with utilizing our mind - "I think therefore I am" - because that is how it's always been, that's what we've learnt from our parents and society - we've never once considered that we are the ones that have created these personalities as ourselves which would indicate that we, as our beingness, were here first independent on the personalities, and that from our first breath we have been here, alive - only then, after our first breath, did we start "thinking", we started learning and interpreting what we see, judging what we see, and soon enough we have programmed ourselves as organic robots, disregarding our own breath, disregarding our own physical body, disregarding the fact that all that exist, exists here together and creates together all that is here, disregarding the simple fact that all is one from perspective of physicality, as one "cloud" of substance that has no actual borders and definitions - we are not actually separated as we, the "intelligent" human, have perceived and believed ourselves to be. And, due to our misunderstanding of the existence which we live in, we have given more value to the illusion as the mind, and no value to life, as the earth, as nature, as other living beings, as each other, and as ourselves - and we are living the result and outflows of this misunderstanding as we see evident in a cruel and abusive world system, that doesn't support life, but thrives on competition, self interest, manipulation and judgment - all within the realms of the mind as separation.
Existing within/as the mind is existing within an illusion that allows us to ignore everything that actually exist in our physical reality, allows us to ignore life itself, as we base our perception within self interest - we have created ourselves as personalities, and now we believe ourselves to be defined by these personalities, and thus participate only with that which supports our personalities and benefits them, enhances them, thus, existing within self interest, existing within an inherent fear of losing ourselves and thus in constant competition with one another to win. not realizing and seeing that we require energy to recreate ourselves over and over again to maintain ourselves as the personalities/characters we know ourselves to be, not realizing the destructive nature this consumption of energy has on us and existence as a whole – It works in the same way as the production of energy for electricity for example, energy is created through the consumption of the physical, turning substance into energy, and thus, our consumerism and the mere use of energy is destroying the land we walk on, destroying our home - we will fine the same construct in all dimension - as above so below, as within so without - our energy production, created and used to maintain our personalities, to survive as we know ourselves as the mind, is consuming our physical bodies, and thus destroying our home.
The more one investigate, one will see that the mind, within it's thirst for energy, is in fact the cause of all the suffering/abuse/conflict that exist in the physical reality where living beings are starving, being raped, abused, as we manipulate each other, destroy our home planet, pollute the water, make animals, plants and nature go instinct - this is all the result of human beings "nature" as we have allowed ourselves to exist as the mind.
What I have realized through this process of self investigation, is that the mind is very deceptive and manipulative, it never actually looks out for my best interest as looking out for myself as life, it is only looking out for it's own interest/survival - what does this mean? The mind needs energy to exist, it needs our participation to generate this energy, it does this through creating conflict and friction through the perception of separation, just like a battery that requires a plus and minus, a polarity, and just like how friction creates heat - so the mind creates friction as conflict within ourselves and our relationships, and creates the perception of separation as polarity, to generate energy for it's survival, disregarding ourselves as the beingness as who we are as life, equal and one to all that is life, to all that is here, to the physical as ourselves - all done to ensure it's survival - so why do we call this "self interest"? because at the moment we exist as the mind, we believe it to be ourselves, we experience the survival fear as our own – We have not yet realized ourselves as life, we believe ourselves to be the mind, and thus are equal to it and one with it - and this is the process, of rebirthing ourselves as life from the physical, that we are walking within this journey to life - to discover ourselves as life, through letting go of anything and everything that we have defined as ourselves through the mind, to return to nothingness, so that from a clean slate, so to speak, we can realize ourselves, without the veil of the mind, but simply as who we are, because once we remove all the layers of the mind - all that remain is ourselves, as life, within/as breathe, here.
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