Showing posts with label argument. Show all posts
Showing posts with label argument. Show all posts
Friday, July 5, 2013
I've noticed that most people that I talk to about my process go into a form of defense and I was looking at it today as it happened again - I couldn't understand why all my friends and relatives say that they respect me but then when I show them the common sense of the desteni material they don't really go and investigate or ask me for some links or how to get started, they all have created an idea about desteni through one video that they saw and didn't like, and even though I'm not as pushy as I used to be, still people are rejecting, resisting and objecting what I say - today I was talking with my aunt, now, she has always been the person in my life that was working on herself, searching for the truth of reality, questioning authority, and so on, and I'm sure that part of the reason I could hear the desteni message is due to what I've learnt from her as a role model at an earlier age - and now I feel like I want to repay the favor in a way, I know that she will benefit so much if she were to walk this process, I feel responsible to show her the way, and support her through the transition if she chooses to take it - as of yet, she is not budging.
So today, as we were walking I questioned myself and my approach and my communication in regards to the desteni point and I realized that I have not been sharing my experience, I have always only shared information, and so what happens is that we end up having an argument, like a power game in regards to the information that we are sharing, each standing by their own "side", and I mean, why should they believe what I am saying about how things are, they know things are otherwise, so it goes back and forth and has no end, because we are talking about information…..
I know this is pretty basic, and I think I've actually seen this point before, but here I am, back at square one, realizing the same point over again, and maybe now I will actually learn from myself and apply myself differently to get different results that actually serve me and those around me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel responsible towards others process from the perspective of it being my responsibility to expose them to the information so that they can make an informed decision as to walk the process to support themselves, within this, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that my eagerness to have others join and walk the process is a projection of actually wanting myself to walk the process, as if in a way if I "get someone in" it would compensate not walking effectively myself
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to live as an example, and within seeing the responsibility I have of sharing these tools and process of self support, and within realizing time and time again that sharing information is not the key, thus, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to take self responsibility and actually apply myself in such a way that I can stand stable and proud within myself knowing that I am practicing first and speaking later, thus sharing my experience and self realizations rather than another belief system as another religion.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realize and understand that each friend / relative that have been resisting / rejecting me and the information I expose them to, has been doing me a favor from the perspective of showing me that I am talking about information rather than actually speaking and being the living word, and thus, I forgive myself for accepting ad allowing myself to react towards my friends / family in anger and frustration when I couldn't get my point across, while missing the actual point of speaking from and as myself, and thus speaking as the living word as words I have actually lived and am living, not as an ideal but as an actual way of life.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see and realize that by speaking and sharing information I am leading us towards an argument of ego as both sides want to be right, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to share information about desteni within the starting point of wanting to be right and wanting to show them and prove to them that my way is the right way, within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want them to join and participate with desteni within a self interest starting point, as I want the "points" as recognition of bringing someone in the group, as well as wanting someone from my life that is walking the process as well as if to receive by than an external approval for what I'm doing
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that even though I present myself as wanting others to join desteni and walk their process for their own benefit, I am actually doing it from a self interest starting point, and the clear indication of that is my reaction within the situation, I realize that when I am clear from this starting point and am actually sharing within a supportive starting point, I could then just share that which I can, and expect nothing as a result, and thus experience no energy - in other words, the energetic experience is showing me that I am not clear within my starting point and that I am in fact acting within hidden self interest
When and as I speak about and share my process and see myself going into an energetic experience as frustration / wanting to be right / argumentative / insisting I stop myself and breathe, I realize that I'm doing so within a starting point of self interest and am speaking for my own ego and benefit, within this I realize that I cannot support another from a self interest starting point and thus I stop and breathe, I stop the "I want to be right" desire starting point within me, and communicate about the point only from stability, again, within realizing that I am not supporting anyone by doing so from a self interest starting point
I realize that only by living as an example can I ever really support others to change themselves, and thus I realize that being a living example of the principles of equality as what is best for all, means that I must start with myself through actually supporting myself daily with the tools of writing and self forgiveness and breath, as I get to know who I am as who I have allowed myself to become and change myself as I learn to better support myself to become an effective human being in this world, thus, when and as I see myself not speaking from my personal experience but instead speaking from a starting point of knowledge as an idea / belief, I stop myself and breathe, I prefer to be silent as I work to change and perfect myself first , and only when I can share my experience in a supportive manner do I speak about it, thus, not allowing myself to just speak for the sake of speaking but to be aware of the power and influence that my words have, and use them with awareness and care.
Sunday, January 13, 2013
this blog follows the previous blog, i invite you to read it as well
I realize that holding on to my opinion in an argument causes inner and external conflict and does not stand within the principle of equality and oneness, as the reason for me to hold on in energy to my opinion is within self interest within the desire to be right, I realize that within holding on to my opinion I am not allowing myself to be open and actually listen to what is being said by others and thus am limiting myself from expanding and learning from others and preventing from myself and the rest in the situation to perfect the solution as a combined effort of all involved, within this I commit myself to, when and as I see myself holding on to my opinion, I stop myself and breathe, I allow myself to listen to what is being said and instead of repeating my opinion within the desire to convince, I rather ask questions to actually genuinely try to understand what others are saying in order to come to an agreement that is actually best for all in common sense and not just to fight for my opinion in self interest
I realize that by not actually saying what I have to say within trying to avoid an argument, I am actually creating miscommunication as I am not allowing myself to be clear and direct due to fear of conflict within the idea that arguments/conflicts are bad, I realize that it's not about arguments being good or bad, it's about who I am within them, and thus, if I fight for my opinion the argument will become a war zone, but if I am here in stability and stating directly what I want to say, and there is disagreement and an argument, then that is fine, as we learn to perfect our communication each in their own process, but until then, argument will be part of allowing one self to express oneself regardless of people disagreeing, as this is a point of standing up, not within energy as the desire to be right, but within self honesty as allowing free self expression. Thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress myself from expressing myself within fear of conflict and disagreement, I realize the fear is based on being shut down by others but what I have been doing is shutting myself down, and thus, I commit myself to, when and as I see myself stopping myself from expressing myself from fear of conflict / disagreement, I breathe and stop the back chat of fear, I check myself to see that I am not reacting, and allow myself to speak up, as I realize that only by actually physically walking through the fear of conflict will I be able to prove to myself that I am over it and can stand stable and direct myself and not be directed by fear and thus not allow fear dictate who I am within a conversation
I realize that by suppressing myself from actually saying what it is I have to say I am creating unnecessary back chat within me and inner conflict as I keep repeating in my mind what I could have and should have said but didn't, thus I realize that within the principle of prevention as the best cure, it would be most supportive to actually say what I have to say and trust myself to stand in the face of any disagreement if it comes up, within this I see that I fear disagreement as I take it personally, and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take disagreement personally within believing that it's not my statement that is rejected but me, I commit myself to support myself through speaking up and if disagreement come up I commit myself to breathe and not allow myself to go into the mind within reaction as back chat, within this, I commit myself to stay silent when and as I see myself going into reaction because I see, realize and understand that speaking from within energetic reaction causes conflict and consequences, so better to sort it out with myself, as to walk the self forgiveness in regards my reaction, and bring up the point if and when I see fit when I trust myself to be clear, and not react in taking it personally if / when a disagreement come up
I realize that by allowing myself to be directed by the fear of conflict I am actually creating conflict in my life, thus, when and as I see myself keeping quiet or manipulating my words within fear of conflict, I commit myself to take a few deep breaths, and push myself to walk through the fear, because I realize that only through pushing myself to walk through the fear within self direction will I build self trust and in time, within the accumulation effect, I will rid myself from the fear of conflict because I have proven to myself that I can stand within it, and thus, I realize that only by walking through the fear in actual physicality will I be able to transcend the point of fear that I have allowed to direct me, and stand in stability and self trust as what is best for all
I realize that other people may be holing on to their opinions within energy, thus, when and as I see myself facing a being that is holding on to their opinion, I make sure I don't participate as not allowing myself to try to convince within wanting to prove my point, thus, when and as I am faced with a being that is holding on to their opinion and is closed off from listening to any common sense, I make sure I am here in stability and breathing, I say what I have to say, but do not engage in an argument as it would be counter productive and only ignite more energy and can become nasty, thus in such situations I remove myself from the argument / discussion as I have nothing to prove and will not allow myself to go into the same state of mind as fighting for my opinion, thus, when and as I see someone else holding on to their opinion, I take it as an opportunity to check myself and make sure I am standing here, in breath, in stability, and can in any moment leave the conversation within going into energy of lose, as that would indicate that I was as well holding onto my desire to be right, and if so, I commit myself to walk the self forgiveness and invite the next situation to correct myself within in the physical, within this, I see the pattern within myself as going into superiority for being the stable one, and for the other to be in reaction, thus, when and as I see myself going into such an experience, I stop myself and breathe, I allow myself to be humble as this being has allowed myself to see another piece of my own puzzle that I might have missed if it wasn't due to their reaction, thus I commit myself to stop any superiority and integrate an expression of gratefulness towards them and towards myself for allowing myself to see the reaction as superiority coming up within me.
I realize this construct of opinion, conflict and arguments has many layers that are intertwined, and I see within me the pattern of becoming overwhelmed within creating ideas that I should have stopped already holding on to opinions before I can speak up, but I realize this is a mind manipulation, I realize that I will speak from energy as holding on to opinions in order to actually speak up and push through the fear of conflict, I realize I will make many mistakes along the way as I realize this is a process, and I will not magically change over night, as I have created myself as all these constructs over many years, and it will take many years for me to repeat the correction over and over until I have integrated it as myself, thus, I commit myself to not allow the mind to distract me from walking this point through presenting all the things I am doing wrong and have not yet transcended, because I realize that I must make these mistakes in order for me to stand up from them and correct myself accordingly - thus, I embrace any mistake I make as a gift of showing me another piece of the puzzle of myself, to piece by piece put myself back together again to become one and equal within and as myself, and through knowing myself, through allowing myself to make many mistakes within this process, I will empower myself and build self trust, self respect, and become self directive, as I realize that only through learning myself in self honesty and correcting myself, mistake after mistake, will I be sure to never again make the same mistake.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that when I fear conflict and thus do not allow myself to state what I have to say there is self dishonesty within it, as there is a point of self interest within my holding onto my opinion that I have not allowed myself to see, within this I realize that I have been hiding the point of self interest from myself and especially from others, as to seem nice and considerate, and to do so I have allowed myself to manipulate my words to seem like a win-win solution when in fact I have my self interest in mind, thus, when and as I see myself manipulating my world to seem more nice, I stop myself immediately and breathe, I realize I am hiding self interest other wise I would have allowed myself to speak directly, thus I see that going around and about the point I want to say indicates hidden self interest, and due to lack of effective communication causes conflict and friction, within this I commit myself to when and as I see myself going around the point, to stop myself and breathe, to investigate there and then what is the self interest I am hiding, and to allow myself to let it go and align myself with that which is best for all, within this
I realize that I might not be able to let it go there and then without further self investigation as writing and self forgiveness, and thus, in such situations, I commit myself to stop myself and breathe, and to express to the other being what I am really trying to achieve, within this realizing that I am not doing so within the starting point of actually getting it, but rather from a starting point of clearing the air, to be able to continue the conversation as I realize that when I am within energy and speaking to another I am influencing them, and thus am responsible for the reaction within and as them, within this I realize that once I see my self interest, sharing it with the other being, if appropriate, can support them to release the energy that might have been building up, and so we can start a fresh page in communication.
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Saturday, January 12, 2013
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold on to my opinion when going into arguments within the desire to win the argument and prove my opinion right
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe arguments are bad and should be avoided, within that not actually allowing myself to state my opinion straight forward but instead I go around it, as trying not to step on any bodies tows as a way to avoid conflict / argument if possible, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress myself in order to avoid the argument not realizing that by keeping quiet I am creating back chat and inner conflict within myself - and thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself within the resistance / fear of conflict / arguments to create that which I fear as inner conflict
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that within my starting point of fear of conflict I am creating the conflict within myself and in the communication with another, as I am not standing stable as who I am and presenting my points in common sense, but am speaking from a point of fear, thus not speaking clearly and directly, thus asking for conflict while trying to avoid it
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manipulate what I am actually saying and not speaking directly within the attempt to avoid conflict as an argument, within this I try to seem nice, I try to present my opinion as a win-win situation, as a best for all situation, not revealing my self interest even to myself, and thus I trap myself in a self belief that my opinion is valid while actually it is supporting my self interest, and within that I try and hide the self interest, as expressing myself awkwardly to not reveal what is actually behind my opinion as self interest - within this I see that this type of communication leads to conflict as the communication cannot be clear and direct
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to insist on my opinion within energy as the desire to be right, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to identify with my opinion as believe it represents me, as if it is a part of me and thus I take it personally when my opinion is not heard or accepted as I experience it as if I am not being heard and accepted, and thus I take it as rejection, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself within experiencing myself as rejected to go into my mind as back chat and attack and blame the other for creating this experience within me, not realizing that it is my doing through believing myself to be an opinion, and thus I am responsible for diminishing myself into an opinion and identify myself with it
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel like people are not listening to me when they do not agree with what I am saying within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not listen to others within the belief that I must be right, and thus I allow myself to participate in both sides of the coins, both as the opinionated and the not listening side, within this I realize that both sides are created within / as energy and thus both standing for an opinion in energy, or not listening in arrogance are equally in valid as they do not serve any one, I realize that by insisting in an opinion I identify with, or being insulted for not being heard, or not listening to another when they speak due to believing I am right, within all these participations I am compromising myself as diminishing myself to an opinion, compromising the opportunity to expand and learn from what others have to say, and participating in energy as within taking it personally and going into insult
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that anything I react to towards another I am actually showing myself a mirror back to self, and thus when I go into back chat of blame and judgment I am actually hiding from myself as to not see that I in fact am participating in the same pattern I am busy judging, within this I commit myself to investigate the points I react to, as experiencing myself as not being and investigate when do I not hear / listen to others as they speak, within this I commit myself to correct myself within a starting point of self honesty and make a directive decision if to listen to something or not, and within that to allow myself to express to the other person if I am listening or not, so as to make sure I don't participate in that which I judge, and within this I commit myself to investigate the point of morality that I am holding on to within the idea that people should listen to each other
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe people should listen to each other and within that I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to pretend to listen to people because I didn't want to tell them that am actually not listening, while going into my back chat and not allowing myself to be here with them in hearing them, or stand as myself in self honesty and communicate to them that I am not listening, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear telling someone I am not listening to them because I fear it will create conflict, instead of realizing that by pretending to listen to someone I am creating inner conflict as back chat, and in most cases external back chat as the point build up, or if I "slip" and express my back chat which will then come out in spitefulness / arrogance / boredom… instead of respecting the other as myself and giving myself credit that I can handle standing as myself in self honesty
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