Showing posts with label behavior. Show all posts
Showing posts with label behavior. Show all posts
Monday, April 1, 2013
this is a continuation of my previous blogs:
Day 173 – Still not good enough
Day 174 - Laziness or Inadequacy?
Day 175 – Priorities
Day 176 - The Last Minute
Day 177 - Not Pushing Myself
Day 178 - I can only start Walking from Here
Day 179 – I want to but I don’t want to
Day 180 – Building a Bridge
Day 181 – Self Belief “I am not Dedicated”
Day 182 - Self Belief - “I am not Dedicated” - Self forgiveness
Day 183 - Self Belief - “I am not Dedicated” - Self Commitments
Day 184 – Self Belief – “I am not Dedicated” – Further Investigation
a must hear - Why do we not access our full potential? Why do we hold ourselves back?:
“I commit myself to ask myself direct questions when and as I see myself not standing as my decision, as not acting in alignment with my directive decision, and so, when and as I see myself contradicting myself, I stop myself and breathe, I ask myself why am I sabotaging myself, and I don’t move / participate with anything until I give myself a clear answer in self honesty, and so, I commit myself to push myself to not let myself off the hook, so to speak, and to actually investigate / interrogate myself within the self honest intention of understanding why, at this very moment, I am prepared to sabotage myself through acting in contradiction to my directive decision. And within this, I commit myself to walk myself hand in hand, back here, into alignment with my directive decision, aligned with common sense, aligned with self support, I commit myself to be gentle with myself yet firm and directive, I commit myself to parent myself into self alignment, and treat myself as an innocent child with compassion and care, yet to be strict with myself and push for self discipline.”
I realize that when asking myself in self honesty why am I not acting in alignment to my directive decision – there is most likely not going to be a valid answer, as all answers will probably be excuses and justifications based on self beliefs, ideas and fears, or based on desires and self interest – either way, any excuse for why am I not standing equal to the directive decision I had made, will be based in energy, and thus, as I ask myself I will be faced with a choice – will I follow the path of energy, or will I stand up for myself as life as the physical?
Taking this moment to stop and breath, and ask myself in self honesty why am I acting in contradiction to myself, is the opportunity I give myself to change the course of my action and make a decision in that moment to support myself - and so, stopping and asking myself, is actually opening a window of self awareness, which once is open I am fully responsible for my decision and action from the point on, as I have opened my own eyes in asking myself the question, I woke myself up so to speak, and now I must direct myself to stop the self sabotage patterns within having realized how destructive they are, and to stand up within myself, to allow myself to empower myself within standing as and acting in alignment to my directive decision.
I realize that part of my process is to start becoming aware of what I am doing, as I’ve noticed that so many moments throughout the day go by and I wasn’t here, moments where I am awake but am sleeping, sleep walking my life away, it’s like there is a moment where I make the decision to allow myself to lose myself in my mind, and from that moment I lose myself as I become a zombie, until something happens, and a spark of awareness comes in through the mist, and then I am faced with the next moment of decision – what now? More mind illusions or standing up?
I find that in many cases, when this moment comes and I have the opportunity to “snap out of it” I make an aware decision to stay in the mind’s illusion, i experience like there is a pull, a magnetic force, pulling me back into the mind’s illusion, drawing me into the application of abdicating my responsibility, of procrastinating what needs to be done, of sabotaging myself as the directive decision I am intending to walk, and so basically standing in contradiction to my directive decision, and as such, in contradiction to myself – it seems like the more I spend time away from myself, and in the mind in separation of myself, as the what is here as the physical, the weaker I get, and the stronger the magnetic pull is, and so the next moment when I “wake up” and am faced with the choice I am more likely to fall back into the mind – this is the moment of transformation, of self change, where I must find it within myself to stand up against the pull and resist it, as to not allow myself to be pulled back in to the self destructive and self sabotaging patterns and behaviors but instead to stand as self support / care / honor / respect – this is where asking myself why am I doing this can be supportive – because the longer I stand “outside” of the mind while asking myself a self directive question, here in awareness, here as myself as the physical, the weaker the pull of the mind is and the more chance I have to act I alignment with myself as my directive decision and not be directed by the mind’s pull so easily and automatically.
a must hear:
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Desteni I Process Lite - Learn Practical Life Skills Online
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Tuesday, October 9, 2012
continue from previous blogs:
Day 51 – Blame character – Part 1
Day 52 - Blame character - Part 2 - Reacting to Tonality - Self Forgiveness
Day 53 - Blame character - Part 3 - Reacting to Tonality - Self Commitments
Day 54 - Blame Character - Part 4 - Being Repeatedly Attacked – Self Forgiveness
I commit myself to as long as I experience myself as being abused, to continue investigating within self honesty the points of reaction within myself as I have realized that I am responsible for all/any reaction/emotions/feelings I experience and thus to, through self honest investigation, stop myself from accepting and allowing myself to react within the mind, to bring myself back here as life within breath in every moment
I commit myself , when experiencing myself being attacked, to stop myself and breathe, to evaluate the situation within common sense and consideration of the physical reality, and not allow myself to exist within/as the mind as interpretations/thoughts/ideas as coping mechanism to defend my various characters, within this I commit myself, when realizing I am experiencing myself being repeatedly attacked, to stop myself within breath, through realizing that I am creating this to myself through my participation within/as the mind, and thus abusing myself, within this I commit myself to take a physical action to stop/solve the self abuse, where I firstly write myself out within self forgiveness to clear point out, AND if I find it to be necessary I commit myself to communication with the other being that is part of the situation, in order to, through communication, build a base for supportive/effective relationship
I commit myself to support myself through breath, where I see myself participating within/as the mind as blame and self victimizing, to stop myself as I realize this is a path of self abuse, I breathe, I bring myself back here to my physical body, and I apply common sense to find a practical solution through writing about the point within myself and through communication with the other
I commit myself to, instead of using a coping mechanism such as desensitizing myself or losing track of what is important, to support myself through writing, as I open up the point within/as myself to see how I have created/participated within the situation and to through the desteni tools of self forgiveness and correcting statements to teach myself how to direct myself within such situations to avoid falling into the same patterns of self abuse again
I commit myself to not allow myself to desensitize, where I have accepted myself as a victim and desensitizing is my only solution, no! I commit myself to bringing myself back here through/as my senses, and thus I commit myself , if/when I see myself go back to the coping mechanism of desensitizing myself, to stop myself within breath, I breathe, and look at the situation through my physical senses, and apply common sense, and build my self trust through each moment of actually looking at, and experiencing the physical reality. Within this I commit myself to use the experience of being repeatedly attacked as a gift that is showing me that I have distant myself from myself far enough and it is time to get back home, to myself, and thus I use it as a guide line showing me the way back to myself
I commit myself to be here, as stopping memories of the past, stopping myself within breath when I see myself participating within/as past memories, I commit myself to through a process of writing and bringing up memories within self forgiveness, to stop using memories of the past as justifications for my reactions, as showing me that I am right because it happened once before, No! I have realized that participating in past memories is a construct, separating me from myself into the mind where I cannot be trusted, thus I stop myself, I breathe, I bring myself back here, again and again, until I am no longer directed by memories
I commit myself to use blame as a gift showing me where I have fallen into the mind, thus when I see myself participate within back chat as blame I stop myself immediately and breathe, I remind myself that only I am responsible for my shitty experience and thus I am responsible for changing it, i realize it will take a process and is up to me through dedication and consistency to see it through, thus I commit myself to learn and understand how I have created the situation/experience through self dedication within applying the tools of writing/self forgiveness/self corrective statements, to set myself free of the chains I have put on myself through my acceptances and allowances, and to bring myself back to self as a living being, within/as breath, here as life.
For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Sunday, October 7, 2012
continue from previous blogs:
Day 51 – Blame character – Part 1
Day 52 - Blame character - Part 2 - Reacting to Tonality - Self Forgiveness
I commit myself to stop myself within/as breath when/as I see myself experiencing being attacked by the interpretation I have given the tonality that is spoken towards/around me, within this I commit myself to remind myself within/as breath that words cannot harm me unless I give them value and accept them as an attack
I commit myself to when reacting to a tonality, investigate the memory I am allowing to direct me, within the understanding that the energetic reaction I am holding towards the tonality of how words are spoken to me are indicating that I am holding on to past experiences as memories and reliving them over and over through allowing myself to be triggered by them, thus, I commit myself to accept my reactions to tonalities as a gifts that are showing me back to myself, as another experience/memory/personality I must clear and free myself from, so that I can walk stable and be equal to/as myself in every breath, here
I commit myself to, when I see myself defining someone as authoritative, to stop myself and breathe, to realize I am communicating with a being who is equal to/as me, and thus to stop myself from accepting myself as less than, I am being, living and walking and eating and shitting and am unconditionally equal to all beings, I realize that any inferiority is of the mind and is a preprogrammed design, designed in the purpose of creating energy through conflict/friction, I commit myself to when I see myself reacting to someone I have defined as authoritative to consider it as a gift for myself to see myself as I walk myself back here, out of the mind as energy and into the physical, within/as breath
I commit myself to stop myself within/as breath when I see myself interpreting someone's tonality as being attacking, within realizing that attack is of separation of the mind and thus any participation/acceptance of/within accepting attack is supporting the mind, and within that allowing the continued enslavement of myself and all of existence, thus I commit myself to when reacting towards the belief that I am being attacked, to stop and breathe, to bring myself back here to the physical and consider what is here as life, as what is being said in fact and what are the practical implications of it, and not allow myself to go into my mind as energy, within realizing that participation with the mind has only ever created suffering through separation, instead of support as what is best for all life
I commit myself to investigate my relationship with my name, as I realize that I have attached to it meanings, interpretations and energetic reactions, throughout the years, due to past experiences, through hearing my name repeated over and over in specific tonalities while experiencing specific energetic experiences, and thus have connected and "appropriate" reaction to every specific tonality, I commit myself within this to free myself from my own name through a process of writing, self forgiveness and self corrective statements, until it is done
I commit myself to investigate myself as who I am within impatience as I see it is a point that has many layers and I have allowed it to direct me, thus within this, I commit myself to, as I walk the point of impatience and clear it up for myself within writing, self forgiveness, and corrective statement, when/as I see myself participate/react from/towards/within impatience, I stop myself and breathe, I bring myself beck here into my physical body, reminding myself I only exist as one breath and can only do what can be done in one breath, thus I breathe and move, and stop the back chat as impatience or reaction towards impatience
I commit myself to, when interpreting someone being impatient with me to stop and breath, and to communicate with the other as asking them if they are impatient, and thus to not allow myself to go into back chat as reaction that build up as energy that then builds up as resentment, spitefulness and blame, within that I commit myself to considering the other person within understanding that any impatience is not actually personal "against" me, but is reflecting the there being within themselves, thus, I commit myself to focus on myself, to investigate all points of reaction towards impatience and to when interpreting someone as being impatient towards me to check myself as it is an indication that I might be impatient with myself and thus to see where can I improve/correct my application as to not accept others to react as impatience towards me
I commit myself to, when interpreting someone being impatient with me through interpreting and reacting to the tonality of their voice, to stop and breath, and to communicate with the other as asking them if they are impatient, and thus to not allow myself to go into back chat as reaction that build up as energy that then builds up as resentment, spitefulness and blame, within that I commit myself to considering the other person within understanding that any impatience is not actually personal "against" me, but is reflecting them within themselves, thus, I commit myself to focus on myself, to investigate all points of reaction towards impatience and to when interpreting someone as being impatient towards me to check myself as it is an indication that I might be impatient with myself and thus to see where can I improve/correct my application as to not expect others to react as impatience towards me through my projection of self impatience
I commit myself to stop myself within/as breath from going into defense mode when I perceive myself as being attacked through other people's expression within their tonality, instead I commit myself to within breath evaluate the situation and see if I am projecting self impatience onto the other, and thus correct my application and stop the self judgment
I realize there are many points intertwined here, and thus it will be a process that will have to be walked point by point, to entangle all connections I have allowed myself to create and live by within my mind, thus I commit myself to walk this process, one breath at a time, one step at a time, one point at a time, as each point opens and more of self is revealed and can be walked through writing, self forgiveness, corrective statements, and practical application within the physical, I commit myself to remind myself this is a process of specificity and must be walked as such
I commit myself to within walking this process of self realization and correction, to stop all self judgment as I realize that it is a construct of self abuse and self sabotage within separating myself from/as who I have accepted and allowed myself to be/become and to not allow myself within the judgment/shame/guild/regret to face myself as who I am, within this I realize that to be able to change myself I must look at all the points I have accepted myself to exist as, and to investigate how/why/when I have allowed these points to direct me as directive principle instead of being self directed within self honesty as life, I commit myself to walk this process to be sure I will never walk down the same path again, and I can trust myself to stand in support of all life as one and equal
For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Friday, October 5, 2012
I am working with the blame character within and as myself where I am looking at one dimension of blame where within my environment an event occurs where I am corrected / feel inferior / ….and through my experience of this I would react in anger, feel animosity towards the other person blaming them for how I experience myself.
So, within this character I see there are three steps to the creation of the blame character:
1. I take a response from someone in my environment personally
2. Within taking it personally I react to the other person negatively where I create an emotional body that reacts to the response from the other person
3. I then become the blame character – blaming the other person for my experience
I will start from the end to unfold the pattern:
Why do I blame?
I blame as a way of abdicating self responsibility, stating to myself that others are responsible for how I experience myself. It is a form of self diminishment within believing myself to be a victim to others and dependent on others within believing they have control over me as my experience of myself
Why do I experience a negative energetic experience?
Based on memories/ideas/interpretations that I have created and accepted in the past, as I have connected the dots between my experiences creating a belief system of how things should be, how people should be, how I should be. Within this I have learned to use positive/negative energetic experiences to get what I want within self interest, to justify myself and to protect my personality/beliefs. So going into negative energetic experience is a point of not having the situation aligned with my expectations of it within self interest, simply not how I want it do be within the ideas I have created, and through feeling bad about it I justify to myself that I am right within the idea.
Why do I take things personally?
I feel attacked, the idea I have of myself is attacked, things are being said that are not aligned with my belief system, with the personality I want to have presented, there is a clash and I go into defense mode as a form of survival, like becoming alert and having to defend myself, my persona.
I have noticed that I have the perception of being attacked through the tonality in another's voice where I perceive them to be criticizing me, impatient with me and an authority over me. If I perceive myself to be attacked often and repeatedly I experience a form of desensitizing, like a form of coping mechanism where I zone out and ignore/suppress the reactions within me, another point within perceiving myself to being repeatedly attract I lose my perception of what is important, like there is no big and small scale, it all becomes with the same intensity.
Within the perceiving myself as being attacked I allow myself to feel enslaved where I lose all self trust, and accept myself as enslaved to the situation and my experience within it, like I am trapped within it.
Through out this point I recognize that I have a desire to be seen in a specific "light", while within the point of experiencing myself as I'm being attacked I feel like I am not seen as I desire to be seen and there is a fear within that as to how others will see me as
So, in a way my definition of self is challenged, I recognize the misalignment with my self definition and what is being said to me that I have reacted to, and I evaluate it to being negative according to my belief system based on past experiences/memories/interpretation, then I react within a negative energetic experience, and instead of realizing that I am doing all of this to myself through accepting blindly my belief system and my definition of myself, I go into blame within believing the whole experience to be real and my beliefs to be valid, and thus I blame the other for creating this situation as what I am experiencing within/as myself, through their expression.
Within the blogs to come I will open up this point further
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
This blog is also related to:
Day
26 - Wanting to be accepted
I've been reading other people's
journey to life blogs, and I've ran into a few of them talking about being shy
and afraid of opening up to people because they fear getting hurt, for example –
as I read these blogs and I relate to what the being is experiencing, but my
behavior is opposite, I do not close off I do not shy away, I am very expressive
and talkative and I act in a way that doesn't reveal me as shy, I hide myself
as being shy through being open, but I am not really open, I am acting out, I am
not really expressing myself, I am expressing a character I have created myself
as, the funny/open/friendly character, when in fact inside I am full of self-judgment,
fear of being rejected, desire to being approved…
I learned this character from
my family, they are all very outspoken, very loud, very expressive, and in my
eyes, very loved and appreciated by others, so I taught myself that to be loved
and appreciated by others I must express myself in a loud/funny/outgoing way, as this is what
people like, and this is how I'm going to get the acceptance/love/approval I so
very much yearn for, as I have not taught myself to give it to myself, thus I have
created a dependency on others to supply me with the "drug of my choice"
being acceptance / approval / love
I have allowed myself to
become a puppet, where I act and dance and put on a show to get the audience to
applaud, not allowing myself one moment of sitting back and actually breathing,
slowing down within/as myself and actually expressing myself, I've been on this
race to win the Oscar for best actress, having been acting so "real"
that no one can see it's an act, acting so well that no one can see that in
fact I am shy within myself, that I am doubting myself, that I am judging
myself, that I am not sure of myself, that I just want to hide because I am so afraid
of not being accepted. I hide behind the mask of exposure.
I guess this type of
construct is used often, like if I don't want to be seen as something I will
express that to the extreme to get all suspicions away, so it's an interesting
polarity where I do not accept myself as who I am, and do not allow myself to
express myself within the one side of the polarity as being shy, due to judging
it as bad/wrong/unacceptable, and then I go ahead and play out a character,
expressing the other side of the polarity as out-going/expressive/confident, to
cover up the shameful truth of who I really am, and thus to become a deceitful
actress, deceiving all around me that I claim to care about, and deceiving
myself as cheating myself out of the opportunity to live as self-expression,
but instead to live a lie of hiding.
Self-Forgiveness
I forgive myself for
accepting and allowing myself to exist within/as an experience of being shy / uncomfortable
around people
I forgive myself for
accepting and allowing myself to fear people
I forgive myself for
accepting and allowing myself to fear what people will think of me, within that
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear people judging me
I forgive myself for
accepting and allowing myself to exist within a desire for acceptance/approval,
within a belief that if I am accepted/approved by others that means I am OK,
not realizing the double deception within that belief being A): the desire to
be accepted by others is indicating I am not accepting myself and thus am not OK
in my own judgment thus would be cool to check for myself who I am within what I
am allowing within/as myself and seeing for myself if I am OK/acceptable or
not, within that changing myself accordingly within self-trust, as trusting
that I will know who I am and how to change. B): being accepted by others will
never indicate that I am OK, but will only indicate the norm of society and
thus the society will approve only that which allows it, as society, to
maintain the deception it is living as, thus if society says I am OK, it by no
means indicates that I am in fact OK from a perspective of equality and oneness
as what is best for all
I forgive myself for accepting
and allowing myself to be shy around people within an experience of not feeling
comfortable within/as myself, as not knowing how to be me
I forgive myself for
accepting and allowing myself to feel ashamed for being shy/insecure around
people, within an expectation that I should always feel comfortable within/as
myself, but the fact is that I don't and thus I abuse myself within self-judgment
as shame for who I am within the experience of being shy
I forgive myself for
accepting and allowing myself to fear opening up to people from fear of their
judgment
I forgive myself for
accepting and allowing myself to fear showing the real me because I fear being
rejected, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to
calculate what I share with people to make sure that I will be socially
accepted, instead of allowing myself to express myself fully as who I am here
in the moment within/as breath
I forgive myself for accepting
and allowing myself to be directed by fear of judgment/rejection to such an
extent that I change myself as my expression to
become a character that I created as myself to be what I believe will be
accepted/approved/liked, within that I forgive myself for not allowing myself
to live self-honesty within/as self-expression but to manipulate and deceive
myself and my environment within creating myself as a character, not allowing
myself to see/realize that by becoming a character I am defending/protecting my
desire to be accepted/approved thus restricting/confining myself within/as the
limitations of the mind as an idea of how one should be/act/behave, thus participating
within/as judgment and suppression instead of living as life within self-honesty
here
I forgive myself for
accepting and allowing myself to fear expressing myself as shy/uncomfortable/unconfident
because I have created an idea that being shy is weak and I want to be strong,
and thus I hide myself as who I am in the moment and act within/as a character
that I believe will serve me within self-interest, thus allowing myself to
cheat/deceive in order to get what I want as attention/approval/love
I forgive myself for
accepting and allowing myself to trap myself in a polarity of the mind as
resisting/judging myself as shy/weak/vulnerable and instead present myself as confident/strong
within a belief that this character will be loved/accepted and thus I will get
what I want within self-interest, feeding my mind as desire for love/approval instead
of living as myself here within self-dignity within self-honesty as allowing
myself to be/face/see myself as who I have accepted and allowed myself to
become within realizing that if I hide me from myself within separation I am
making it that much harder for me to face myself as who I have allowed myself
to be and become and thus harder to see within self-honesty if this is who I want
to be within the principle of equality as what is best for all within
dignifying myself as life, and thus making it impossible for me to change,
rather than allowing myself to face/see myself for who I am within shyness/uncomfortableness
and from there to correct myself within
investigating the why I allow myself to be shy/uncomfortable within/as myself,
what am I showing myself within this point, and to correct myself from there.
I forgive myself for not
accepting and allowing myself to realize that by deceiving myself and others
through participating in the act of the character of funny/confident I am not
allowing myself to see myself within self-expression nor do not allow myself to
see myself within actual real communication because I am busy hiding myself, and
thus I do not actually allow myself to know myself because of the fear of who I
will be if I allow myself to be me, within a deep assumption that who I am is
not good enough and thus even without really knowing who I will be I hide
myself just in case
I forgive myself for
accepting and allowing myself to hide myself within a deep knowing that who I am
is not going to be liked/accepted/loved/aproved, because who I am is
self-interest, and thus I hide myself within that very self-interest as who I am,
to be sure I get the love/acceptance I want/desire, instead of facing myself
within self-responsibility and allowing myself to face myself as the self-interest
being that I have allowed myself to become, and from within facing myself to
make a directive decision within self-honesty within/as the principle of
equality and oneness and to change myself within/as breath to be able to be a
being that honors self as life within self-dignity and thus rebirthing myself
from the self-interest being that I am now and busy hiding, into a being that supports
myself as life
I forgive myself for
accepting and allowing myself to prefer to put on a mask of funny/comfortable
than to face myself and correct myself within self-honesty to actually be able
to express myself as funny/comfortable once I have proven to myself that I am not
being directed by energy as fear and am in fact directing/expressing myself as
life
I forgive myself for accepting
and allowing myself to express myself within/as a character rather than allowing
myself to express myself as who I am
I forgive myself for
accepting and allowing myself to believe that being confident/outgoing is
better than being shy/closed, not realizing that it is all about the starting
point, and it's not about a polarity/competition between two different
expressions, thus I realize that if I am existing within a polarity I have
created of two expressions I am allowing myself to exist as the mind and not
here as life within self-expression, thus I stop myself and breathe, and bring
myself back here, I slowdown to be able to see myself as who I am in fact and
not depend on the idea/value I have placed on expressions within a polarity
I forgive myself for
accepting and allowing myself to copy my behavior from what I have seen within
my family's behavior, and within that to compare myself to what I see as their
expression and try to live/express myself in the same way, within that I forgive
myself for trapping myself within/as an idea of how I should express myself
instead of allowing myself to be myself within self-expression as within self-honesty
I forgive myself for
accepting and allowing myself believe I have to act in a specific way as a
funny/confident character to be accepted by others instead of realizing myself
within self-honesty, to know who I am and to accept myself within/as who I actually
am, to not be dependent on the acceptance of others within the restriction I have
placed upon myself to behave in a specific way to get their acceptance, but
rather to accept myself as who I am as life, to from the point of acceptance to
change myself within the principle of equality as what is best for all because I
realize that only through changing myself within/as what is best for all will I
be able to truly accept myself as life, knowing I am living within support of
myself as life and not through/as the mind within fear as a character
Self-Commitment
I commit myself to when
experiencing myself as shy/uncomfortable to stop and breathe, to realize that
any emotional/energetic reaction is of the mind and thus not real, I am lying
to myself to believe I am in fact shy/uncomfortable, thus I commit myself to
bring myself back here within/as breath
I commit myself to when
experiencing myself as shy/uncomfortable to stop and breathe, and to investigate
what am I showing myself through this experience, who am I accepting myself to
be within this experience, within this I commit myself to allowing myself to
see/face myself for who I am in the moment because I realizie that only through
first seeing myself for who I really am will I ever be able to change myself
into that which supports all life as what is best for all
I commit myself to when
experiencing myself within/as fear of people, to stop and breathe, to realize
that I only fear people because I have not allowed myself to know myself within
self-honesty, and thus I commit to investigating myself and to finding out for
myself who I am in fact, to be able to accept myself as who I am
I commit myself to stop
directing myself through the fear of what people may think/judge me for, and
rather to direct myself within the principle of equality as what is best for
all
I commit myself to stop
myself within/as the desire to be acceptance/approved within realizing that as
long as I am directed by this desire I am un trustworthy for I am allowing
myself to be directed by the force of self-interest instead of being
self-directive as life within supporting myself as life, thus I commit myself
to stopping myself as anything that I have not intentionally directed myself
as, thus anything of the mind where I am not the self-directive principle I
stop because I know it isn't me in fact as life
I commit myself to stop
defining myself according to what others think of me through realizing that
what others think/accept is only representing their own point within their
process/life, and thus I commit myself to establishing self-trust to be able to
look at myself within/as self-honesty and to evaluate myself to/for myself
within seeing am I acting/behaving in a way that actually supports life or am I
acting/behaving in a way that supports self-interest and within that to move
myself accordingly
I commit myself to explore
new ways of expressing myself outside of the expressions I have created myself
as, as characters, within that I commit myself to exploring myself without
judgment
I commit myself to getting to
know me for who I am as how I have accepted and allowed myself to become, to be
able to see/face myself within self-honesty without judgment, I commit myself
to stopping any form of self-judgment within/as breath and to realize that
every point of self-judgment is pointing at something within me I do not want
to see, and thus to push myself to look further within self-honesty to show me
to myself until all of me as who I am has been exposed to me
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