Showing posts with label dependancy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dependancy. Show all posts
Friday, October 12, 2012
continue from previous blogs:
Day 51 - Blame character – Part 1
Day 52 - Blame character - Part 2 - Reacting to Tonality - Self Forgiveness
Day 53 - Blame character - Part 3 - Reacting to Tonality - Self Commitments
Day 54 - Blame Character - Part 4 - Being Repeatedly Attacked – Self Forgiveness
Day 55 - Blame Character - Part 5 - Being Repeatedly Attacked - Self Commitments
Day 56 - Blame Character - Part 6 – Enslaving Myself
Day 57 - Blame Character - Part 7 - Society's Value System - Self Forgiveness
I commit myself to stop myself within breath and ring myself back here to the physical body, when/as I see myself participating within the desire to be seen in a specific way, as I have realized that it is within participation and acceptance of the social value system, and I commit myself to stop myself from participating within it, instead I commit myself to stand as life, and support myself as life, and all life as one and equal, not allowing any value system to separate and define that which is unconditionally life
I commit myself to stop myself within the desire to be seen in a specific light as good/caring and so on, and instead to dedicate myself to actual physical change, to actually being and living that which is worthy, that which supports all life, and not to settle for anything less than that, as an ideal picture that doesn't not value life but is what it is, a one dimensional picture, because I realize that is self compromise and within it compromising all life as a whole
I commit myself stop defining myself in comparison to an ideal I have accepted through what I learnt from society, and to instead allow myself to see myself as who I actually am, as who I have created myself as, and to then change myself step by step through writing, self forgiveness, and corrective statements, because I have realized that only through specific investigation of how I have created myself, and through taking responsibility for who I am within/through writing self forgiveness, can I change myself as what is best for all within supporting myself as LIFE and not as a picture presentation idea as the ideal I have desired myself to be
I commit myself to expose and show society's value system as the abusive/separating system that it is, for accepting and allowing to define and separate those that have the skills/characters defined by society as worthy and those that don't, within this I commit myself to show through recreating myself as the living example, that for a society to thrive we do not require a value system based in separation, but rather to live within self honesty as what is best for all, and allow/appreciate self expression in any/all forms, not defined as good/bad by a value system, but only within the consideration of what is best for all within self honesty
I commit myself to stop myself from participating within/as separation through accepting society's value system as defining people as worthy or not depending on their skills and characters, within this, I commit myself to stop myself as the judgment that I have allowed myself to exist as, and thus to investigate all points of judgment within myself that I have accepted as myself due to my acceptance and participation within society's value system
I commit myself to stop myself from participating within judgment/separation towards myself and towards others, because I have realized that judging people as worthy or not worthy based on society's value system doesn't take into consideration that we, as society, haven't allowed all to have the effective tools required to live a dignified/fulfilled life, and thus by not allowing all beings equal education/financial security/health care, we are creating a platform where there will always be those that are judged as unworthy so that we, the elite, can define ourselves as worthy in relation to them and based on the value system that we have created, and feel "good" about ourselves, within this I realize that all society's value system is in fact a function of the elite, used to separate themselves from the rest, the inferior, the unworthy, and through this value system to define themselves as worthy and thus justify the fact that so many people are living an unworthy/undignified life, and yet we do nothing about it because it is justified through our value system
I commit myself to stop myself within/as breath when I see myself going into fear of not being accepted by society, because I realize that by fear of not being accepted I am in fact agreeing and participating with society's value system, and thus since I have realized that society's value system is a scam made to create separation and to justify inequality I stop myself from participating within it, I commit myself to through writing, self forgiveness, and corrective statements, to free myself from society's value system and create myself as w worthy living being that actually supports all life equality and does not accept any form of separation, within and without
I commit myself to use the fear of judgment as a gift, to able myself to see all points of judgment within me that I have accepted as myself, and through allowing myself to see/face myself as the fear of judgment to clear myself one point at a time from all accepted/allowed judgment, until I am here, clear of all judgment and free from fear, within this I commit myself to investigate any/all points of reaction within me in relation to fear of judgment/self judgment/judging others within accepting society's value system as a guide line, and within this I commit myself to stop myself from participating in society's value system, and to direct myself as what is best for all equally, within/as breath
I commit myself to stop myself within/as breath when I see myself judging others as not worthy based on society's value system I have accepted as my own and have been participating with, I commit myself to when/as I see myself fall into judging others I stop and breath, I realize that any judgment I project onto others is a reflection/projection of my own fear of being judged within the point that I am busy with judging, and thus I commit myself to investigate the points of self judgment and to free myself through self forgiveness and accept myself and all equally as life
I commit myself to stop myself from acting within the limitation of society's value system and to allow myself to express myself unconditionally without fear, I realize this will take a process to walk through, thus I commit myself to when I see myself resisting from expressing myself unconditionally to investigate the point until I stand as myself in every breath, stable, here
I commit myself to walking a process of self acceptance, within stopping all self judgment, through writing, self forgiveness, and corrective statement, and through the realization that all participation within/as self judgment is limiting me from actually living, from being here within/as the physical, within/as breath, and this must stop, thus I commit myself to stop, and stand up as self acceptance, as life, within this I commit myself to stop myself from the dependency towards society that I have created as myself and to will myself to walk alone, stable here, within breath, through building self trust and self intimacy, to realize that all I require to accept me is me.
For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Thursday, October 4, 2012
This blog is a follow up from yesterday's blog: Day 49 – Stable or Superior?
I will address this point from both side of the polarity as I have realized that "it takes two to tango" but in fact I have been dancing with myself in my mind as participating/creating myself as both characters within this dance, so to speak.
I have realized that any reactions exist in me and comes solely from my mind, thus – the other is never actually doing anything to me in fact, but only mirroring myself back to self, as it is all a projection of what I am allowing to take place in my mind. Within this I realize that when I react to another, whether by being the superior/authority/in control character or being the inferior/submissive/suppressed character, either way any reaction within me towards another is a point I must investigate within my SELF as it doesn't really have to do with the other personally, because it is all created within/as self
So, here I am starting the process of taking responsibility for both sides of the coin as I realized it doesn't matter in which side I participate, I have created both in my mind, and am participating as both internally and externally.
Self forgiveness as the superior
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create stability as an idea in my mind
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to express myself as stable to cover up within suppression that I am actually reacting within myself through participating within superiority
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to crave stability to such an extent that I will lie to myself as being stable, within hope that "if I fake it I'll make it", not realizing that by doing so I am ignoring and suppressing the point within me that still fear being inferior and unstable
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to express myself as stable while I am participating within superiority, within that I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear losing my stable stance and thus project onto the other that they are reacting when in fact I am reacting within acting/walking within fear of losing myself as stable, not realizing that stability within fear is stability of the mind and as such is a mind manipulation keeping me from seeing the actual point of fear, as fear of survival of the personality I have created myself as
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to confuse stability with power/control, and within that to direct onto others an expression of power/control within believing that I am expressing and experiencing stability, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the idea I have of stability to hide from myself the desire/addiction I have created within myself towards power/control and within that to allow myself to continue existing within such constructs instead of allowing myself to let go the idea of stability and to allow myself to simply be within and as breath, and communicate from a starting point of breath and self support and not of fear of losing myself as stability or the desire to be right as a point of self justification
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to investigate myself within the starting point I exist as, and instead to allow myself to continue as I am even though my environment is indicating to me that I am communicating within/as power/control, thus I commit myself to when the environment is showing me myself back to myself, I stop myself within breath and check to see if what they are saying is valid from perspective of taking it as a gift to investigate and see myself further/deeper, and not automatically reject what is being said within fear of losing the stability I have created myself as
I commit myself to when being corrected/criticized by others to not take it personally, but instead to investigate the point within practicality - are they showing me a point I am allowing myself to exist as and yet to have seen myself within it? Or are they projecting onto me their fears/patterns/beliefs and if so I will not be influenced by it? Thus I commit myself to be the directive principle within/as myself and to allow myself to look at all that is presented to me as what is here within equality, that is, I commit myself to investigate unconditionally all points WITHIN MYSELF that I react to when/as another is in reaction within themselves as I see it is a manipulation to keep me from actual self investigation within self honesty, thus I commit myself again, to investigate every point that comes my way, to allow myself to bring the point here as myself within/as breath and to actually place it within/as myself and have a look at what is going on inside of me in regards to any energetic movement, I commit myself to do this until I am certain that I am clear within/as every point, and if/when I see myself react/participate in any point as pattern of the mind, I stop myself within/as breath, and push myself to let go that pattern within investigating it's cause/origin/play out... until I am clear of all patterns and can trust myself as life, as living here in the moment, as the moment of breath
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to communicate in a harsh/tough way to others within believing myself to be stable and proving to myself my stability through the way I communicate as harsh/tough/direct, while not allowing myself to see that my communication is not supporting the other as equal, and thus within not communicating within consideration of supporting the other, I am actually proving to myself that I am not in fact stable but am participating with superiority
I commit myself to use communication as an indication to check myself within, if my communication is creating and energetic experience, positive or negative within myself or the other, I stop myself within/as breath and check my starting point within self honesty, am I being direct or am I being controlling? Am I being stable or am I being superior?
I commit myself to build myself as self honesty, to develop myself as self honesty as I realize self honesty is the only tool I can trust, it first needs to be build as self trust… thus I commit myself to myself within building/birthing myself as self honesty, so I can see/face myself and actually change as what is best for all
I commit myself to push myself within my communication, and to make it a point to myself to communicate within awareness and support, within this I commit myself to teach myself the art of effective communication through trial and error, thus I commit myself to investigate myself within communication within actually applying myself in the physical to find out who I am within communication, and to build myself up as a being that uses communication as support for all as one as equal
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to express myself within superiority within communication with another instead of allowing myself to take the opportunity to support the other as equals, within that I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be addicted to the feeling of being "more than", and within that create and hold on to that feeling through speaking in a superior/harsh way to the other instead of practicing humbleness within stability and thus supporting both me and the other within our process
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse others within participating as superior while manipulating myself and the other to believe that I am stable and thus an authority, and within being an authority, point my finger at the other, as if only the other has to clear themselves from the reaction of inferiority, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to "pray on the weak" as in finding the one in the group that will "fall for my act" and apply it on them, within creating a situation where I can deliberately act out my superiority as stability, and not get caught as I have found the weakest link and they are bound to believe me because they see themselves as inferior already, and thus I support their mind fuck as they support mine instead of supporting each other to step out of this mind game once and for all and actually stand as equals to/as life
Self forgiveness as the inferior
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to people when I perceive them going into authority/bossiness and thus not allow myself to be self directive but to be dependent on my perception of other people's expression instead of being stable within/as myself in every moment, independently of what is going on around me, simply being here, within/as breath, stable
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react when the being at hand is not perceived as an authority, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to actually make a decision within myself as to whom can talk to me in a certain way while others can't, with some I will react within anger and with others not, within this I have not allowed myself to investigate what exactly it is that I am allowing myself to react to, and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame/judge others for their expression instead of finding out within myself what exactly is the trigger point of my reaction, based on how I have judged the person to be more/less than me, as a base of my acceptance of how they talk
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to perceive some people as authoritative and thus when communicating with such people to react within inferiority, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect authority with superiority and haven't considered that authority can simply be related to being well educated/experienced/informed about a specific topic and does not actually define one as superior, as I realize superiority is only existent within one's mind as a construct and not in fact existent within the physical reality, instead of realizing that I have created this construct of inferiority/superiority in my mind while in reality I am simply in communication with another being
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define some people as authoritative while other not, depending on some specific characteristics that I have connected with authority, within that I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react within/as inferior when communicating with people I have defined as authoritative instead of realizing that I have created the point of inferiority within my mind, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resent/blame the other for "creating this experience within myself" while not allowing myself to take responsibility within realizing that only I can create any experience within me and thus no one is to blame and only I am responsible for allowing myself to participate within/as inferiority
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to play the game of inferiority/superiority in my mind and to then project it on to my environment depending on who has the specific characteristics that are aligned with the definition I have created the character as, and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide this from myself and instead to exist within blame towards the other as the creator of the situation, within doing so enhancing/participating with the construct/game of superiority/inferiority as believing they are more creators/responsible for the situation than me
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react differently depending on who I am communicating with, where I define some people as deserving to express themselves as authority/superior and others not, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react in anger when people that I have defined as not deserving to be an authority express themselves in ways that I perceive as superior while not react when those that I perceive as deserving, because I accept them as such, to express themselves as superior instead of allowing myself to be here within breath and consider all as equal beings communicating, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define/judge others as deserving to be an authority or not based on my ideas/beliefs I have accepted, and I didn't take into consideration that within this I am declaring myself the authority as deciding who can express in which way, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe myself to perceive myself to be an authority to other's as a point of superiority within myself, while blaming/judging them for being superior, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to distract myself from my own participation within superiority as judging other's expressions as the authority that calls the shots through blaming/judging them for participating in superiority - I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see and realize within the situation that self is always pointing back to self, and thus all projections I have onto others I must first allow myself to investigate within/as myself within self honesty.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge others as they express themselves within stability because I am jealousy of their stability within a belief that I am not capable of such stability. Within that I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to brake down their stability as the only option I know to stop the competition within myself as I am sure to lose due to self belief of being instable, and thus I brake the other's stability within believing them to be acting within superiority so that I can reassure myself that I am not the only one still reacting within my mind, thus instead of supporting myself and walking my process within the self direction to actually see myself in fact, I have made it about the other person, within competition/comparison, within defining myself according to what the other is experiencing within themselves, not realizing that it is a self manipulation to distract myself form myself
I commit myself to stop myself within/as breath each time I see myself going in my mind as evaluating if the one infornt of me is reacting or stable, within that not focusing on myself but on them, and allowing myself to be in my mind as backchat as judgment -
I commit myself to stop myself within as the backchat as judgment through writing them out one by one until I have seen the entire construct of my thoughts, and thus be able to stop them within/as breath, until slowly but surly I will not be directed/influenced by my thoughts as back chat and can be here within/as breath and actually experience/express myself as life
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
I've noticed that I am very reactive to people correcting me. For instance, I could be learning a new task and be corrected within making a note of a mistakes I've made, and given suggestions on how to do it better/how it should be done, or I could simply be doing something and someone would come along and instead of saying something positive they would say something that sounds like criticism, basically any statement that I interpret as if I am told that I am doing something wrong/bad/a mistake/poorly/not good enough…
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react when being corrected, instead of allowing myself to stay in breath and to listen clearly to what is being said, and simply apply what is being said after considering it within common sense
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react within a form of anger/spitefulness when being corrected, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as anger/spitefulness within reaction to being corrected, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to support myself within/as breath and to stop all reactions as spiteful/anger within me as I realize that such reactions are not acceptable as they are not supporting me as life
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react within myself as anger/spitefulness/backchat when being corrected instead of stopping myself within self directed decision to stop my addiction to positive reinforcement and within that to stop my dependency on what other people thing/say about/to me to be able to direct myself in every moment and hear what people are saying without taking it personally but to use it as self support to expand myself within my application
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as bad/wrong when being corrected and within this self-belief have not allowed myself to realize that I, as life, am not wrong/bad, and I am only bad/wrong if/when I am accepting myself as such within self definition due my interpretation of being corrected
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to justify myself within anger/spitefulness when being corrected through "telling myself" as back chat that the one correcting me is being judgmental, within this I am robing myself from the opportunity to change/expand within looking at the correction within common sense and apply it as such
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to justify my reactions to being corrected through the idea/projection that the other is being judgmental when in fact it is me tat is judging what they are saying instead of simply hearing it as the living words and applying them as such within looking at the common sense within what is being said and not take it personally
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react when being corrected and take it personally as if what is being said defined me as who I am, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take being corrected personally and become upset within accepting myself as self diminishment through believing I am less for hearing/receiving criticism such as being corrected, as if what is being said is defining me, as if stating that I, as who I am, am bad/not good enough, within this I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that what is being said is simply words to be looked at, and do not define me and do not direct me unless I allow it to
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed by the emotional reaction when being corrected and within the reaction I have allowed myself to go into my mind within spitefulness and blame towards the one that has corrected me, and within that I have not allowed myself to look at the point spoken within self honesty and simply walk within common sense in regards to what is being said
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that any words spoken to me cannot hurt me in fact, but can only show me self back to self within seeing my reaction towards what is being said, and thus I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to take being corrected as an opportunity to face myself within points of ego/reaction and instead have allowed myself to go into my mind and justify myself within it within that not allowing myself to change within self honesty due to resistance of looking at who I am within the moment of reaction
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react within a physical reaction as I am being corrected within this I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to support myself within/as breath as I see myself react physically to being corrected
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react as judgment towards the being that is correcting me instead of supporting myself within/as breath and stopping myself within/as judgment
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to when being corrected to experience myself as being rejected/disapproved thus confirming the addiction I've accepted as myself as the desire/dependency for positive reinforcement, within this I commit myself to accept corrections as gifts to breathe through as I walk through the addiction for positive reinforcement and learn to apply myself within/as the physical within/as breath and to hear what is being said within practicality and not focus on the good/bad feeling I am experiencing because I have realized the deceptive nature of feelings and I commit myself within this to not accept myself to fall in the trap of being directed by good/bad feeling but to direct myself within common sense within self honesty within practical physicality as life
I commit myself to stopping myself within/as breath if/when I see myself go into a reaction to being corrected, I commit myself to stop myself as the back chat of judgment/blame when being corrected as justifying the anger/spitefulness and instead to breathe here until I have stopped the backchat/reaction and can see clearly what is being said
i commit myself to support myself within as being corrected as i realize that i can use any words said to me as a practical way to see if i am still reacting and if so i commit myself to investigate the points of reaction and to apply myself as writing/self forgiveness/self corrective statements until i am satisfied that i am self directive principle and am not directed by emotions/feelings/reaction., and can hear anything said to me and apply them within common sense as i see fit at the moment
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
