Showing posts with label nastyness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nastyness. Show all posts
Monday, October 29, 2012
This blog is a follow up from my previous blog
Day 69 - Friendship - Part 11 – Spitefulness – Part 1
Day 70 - Spitefulness - Part 2 - Self Forgiveness
Day 71 - Spitefulness - Part 3 - Self Commitments
Day 72 – Spitefulness – Part 4 – More Characters – Self Forgiveness
Day 73 - Spitefulness - Part 5 – Self Commitments
Day 74 - Spitefulness - Part 6 - Self Forgiveness
Judgment - Being corrected - Not trusting - Fair game - Being miss treated
I commit myself to stop myself within breath when I see myself retaliating someone's behavior through the judgment and spiteful characters, within realizing that any retaliation is justifying/creating/accepting the existence of abuse/suffering/harm/evil and thus, I commit myself to do onto another that which I would like them to do onto myself and not the opposite as I do on to another within retaliation that which I judge them for as I do not want them to do on to myself
I commit myself to investigate within myself all points of comparison, as they indicate point I have not accepted as/within/about myself, and thus within allowing myself to participate within comparison I diminish myself as I accept myself as less than life, within this I commit myself to stop myself within/as comparison through bringing myself back here to the actual physical body, within/as breath, I commit myself to stop the self definition through comparison within the starting point of self judgment/diminishment, within this I commit myself to when I see myself going into spitefulness due to comparison I stop myself within realizing that I am "taking out" on the other my self judgment through spiting them, and thus not allowing myself to be here as self support as supporting them as life in every moment, thus accepting as myself a world of abuse/spitefulness/judgment, within this I commit myself to use comparison within a starting point of expansion as I see where I can expand and how I can perfect myself within/through the example of others, thus I change my point of view in regards to comparison from comparison based in judgment that allows spitefulness as an outflow, to comparison based on self perfection that allows myself to expand and be grateful
I commit myself to investigate myself as the self definition of myself, within realizing that to change myself to that which is best for all I must let go the current definition of myself and to do so I must first see how/what I have defined myself as, and thus I commit myself to use any points of comparison that come up within me as a tool to support myself in seeing the self belief I have been existing as, and within this to expose the religion of self that I have accepted as my self creation, and to allow myself to within writing/self forgiveness/commitment statement to create myself a new, as I birth myself as life from the very physical, as I stop myself as the mind and emerge as life
I commit myself to continue investigating within/as myself the point of reaction to being corrected, within this, I commit myself to stop myself within/as breath when I see myself react to being corrected and to within breath take in what is being said as it is a suggestion for improvement and to apply what I see relevant within common sense, thus being the directive principle of/as myself and not allow myself to be directed by the reaction that come up within me as ego, that turn into spitefulness for believing/experiencing my ego being hurt. I commit myself to through walking a process of writing the points out to myself to allow myself to be humble and accept anything said to me as a gift that I have the directive power to, as I open the gift, use it in any way I see fit, through utilizing common sense as what is here in the physical reality, within taking into consideration the entirety of the situation, and make a decision that support me as well as all as equals, I realize that any reaction to being corrected is of self interest within the desire to keep up a self definition I have created myself as, as a character/personality, and thus I commit myself to use the reactions I find myself participate within as gifts, showing me back to myself bringing more points of inner conflict up to my conscious awareness so that I can take self responsibility and walk through them within writing, self forgiveness, corrective statements.
I commit myself to building myself up as self trust through a process of allowing myself to see/face myself as who I am, through allowing myself to direct myself, thus I commit myself to let go the fear of failure that I have allowed to limit me as self expression, so that I can see who I am within self direction, so tat I can learn, like baby steps, how to direct myself, within realizing that if a baby would fear falling when they learn to walk, they will never learn to walk, and the same goes for me, if I fear falling as I learn to direct myself, I will never learn to direct myself, and thus I commit myself to stop myself within breath when thoughts of fear come up within me in regards to directing a point, I commit myself to take it slow, and allow myself to make mistakes as I realize that a mistake is just that where I miss take something, and thus I have the opportunity to correct myself and take it from a different angle.
I commit myself , when/as I see myself going into spitefulness so for not trusting someone, to stop myself and breathe, to investigate what is it about the situation that is showing me a point of not trusting myself, and within this, I commit myself to stop myself for a moment and see how I can address the situation without having to trust the other, but to use myself as self direction to guide me within/as the situation, and thus to place my trust on myself
I commit myself to further investigate the "fair game" construct/character that I have allowed myself to participate within, within realizing that te outflow of playing the fair game results in my participation within spitefulness/blame, within believing I am being wronged, within this I commit myself to stop myself within/as breath when/as I see myself go into my mind within thoughts/back chat of "it isn't fair" and to bring myself back here as the physical within/as breath, within realizing that fair is an idea/expectation I have created in my mind, and when looking at the physical reality one can clearly see that nothing is fair, as people starve to death, woman and children are being raped, people are being sent to die in war - life as we know it isn't fair, thus I commit myself to change myself as stopping the mind within realizing that the unfairness in this world is created by all of us, and only through stopping myself as un fair will I be able to direct change in this world, within this I commit myself to accept my responsibilities and not allow myself to go in my mind to the unfair game/character, but rather to commit myself on being here as the physical so that I can be aware and awake to see the actual unfair that is going on in this world and within myself as I participate in the unfair game - and to stop
I realize that as long as I have any form of self interest within me as the directive principle of me I cannot expect anything else from anybody else, and thus I commit myself to walk my process of stopping the mind, day by day, breath by breath, as I realize that self interest is a creation of/within the mind, and within self interest we all do what we can to win, to get the better hand, and thus to make the other the looser, our slave
I commit myself to breathe, I commit myself to breathe as I communicate with people, I commit myself to slow down within/as breath, I commit myself, when perceiving someone is mistreating me to stop myself in the moment and realize that any reaction to what another says/does is self created, and thus if I experience myself as being mistreated I commit myself to investigate the expectation I have placed as how I believe I should be treated, within this I commit myself to not allow myself to go into spitefulness towards the other because I realize as I go into spitefulness I am allowing myself to mistreat another wither in my thoughts/words or actions, within this I also realize that by going into spiteful I am accepting the idea of being mistreated and thus giving away my power as if someone else is responsible/creator of my experience, thus I bring myself back here, and breathe for as long as it may take for me to stabilize myself and stop the reaction within me
I commit myself to practice living the words as "do onto another what you would like them to do unto you" and within this I commit myself to humbleness, within being the "bigger person" not from perspective of comparison/competition, but rather from a perspective of living that which I want others to live, living the principle of equality, living the principle of love thy neighbor, and within this I realize there is no place for spitefulness to exist, thus I commit myself to stop myself again and again and again, within investigating each point through writing, self forgiveness and self commitments, until I stop fueling the character of spitefulness/nastiness/evil, until I stop.
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Sunday, October 28, 2012
This blog is a follow up from my previous blog
Day 69 - Friendship - Part 11 – Spitefulness – Part 1
Day 70 - Spitefulness - Part 2 - Self Forgiveness
Day 71 - Spitefulness - Part 3 - Self Commitments
Day 72 – Spitefulness – Part 4 – More Characters – Self Forgiveness
Day 73 - Spitefulness - Part 5 – Self Commitments
I realize this is just the tip of the ice burg since all these characters are a whole construct within themselves, and thus in this spitefulness series blog I am just referring to how the relate directly to spitefulness, though I realize that in time I will investigate each of them individually as to be able to stop them and the outflow of spitefulness more effectively.
Judgment - Being corrected - Not trusting - Fair game - Being miss treated
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within/as judgment, where I scan a persons looks/behavior/words and place a judgment on them as good/bad, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself judge their looks/behavior/words based on an accepted social norm as a value system without having investigated the implications of such social norms as value system, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept the social norms as a guide line to what/how things/people should be and when I find someone stepping out of these lines I judge them for it, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to spite that which I judge as a way to establish perceived order in the social norm and value system that is being disrupted by these being which I judge, in other words, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to spite that which I judge within allowing myself to be the judge and place the punishment for the disruption of order, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use spite as a form of retaliation towards that which is not aligned with the social norm that I have accepted as my own
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use this judgment as a point of comparison as a way to define myself as better/worse than the person I am judging and thus to place my self definition on how I perceive others to be and how I compare to them, while not seeing the mirror dimension within the judgment construct, as I am seeing in them that which I believe I lack in myself, or that which I judge within myself, thus not allowing myself to see that the judgment is actually showing me back to myself and not really indicating anything about the other, within not allowing myself to realize this point, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go from judgment/comparison/self definition to spitefulness towards the other being, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe the judgment and thus to believe the comparison as self definition, and within believing myself to be inferior/superior to the other being I allow myself to spite them as a way to enforce my power over them, either in my mind as thoughts or in actuality as words/actions, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resort to spitefulness as a point of actually wanting/desiring to harm/hurt/abuse this being based on the judgment I have placed and in complete disregard of them as the totality of them as life as equal to me
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react within/as a negative energetic reaction when being corrected, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to spite the being that is correcting me because I have taken the correction personally, as if they have corrected me to spite me, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed by the circumstances as how others communicate with me, and to allow myself to react to their words, as I take it personally and believe that I have done something wrong and should thus be ashamed instead of looking at the point and seeing within common sense if I can in fact correct myself within it, within the negative experience of shame I blame the other being for creating this experience within me, not realizing that I am self responsible for all allowed experiences within/as myself, and thus within believing they are to blame for my bad feeling I spite them in my mind/words/actions, wanting to hurt/harm them as to retaliate for the bad experience they gave me, thus doing onto them the very thing I took personally within believing they corrected me within spite
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to spite beings that I don't trust, as a form of self protection, in the sense of not trusting what they say or how they behave, within believing they have hidden agendas and thus within the fear of being conned I spite them not realizing that in fact I am showing myself that I don't trust myself to, in every moment, be able to see the common sense of the situation and direct myself accordingly, thus I project the lack of self trust onto them, as I fear trusting them, and within living in this fear I am spiteful towards them. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe others should be trust worthy when I haven't allowed myself yet to build trust within myself, and thus as I don't trust others I am reminded of not trusting myself and thus I am spiteful towards the for "putting me" in this position of seeing myself as lack of self trust
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in the "fair game" where I believe I am being wronged/exploited and thus believe it to not be fair, within believing "this isn't fair" I blame the other being for participating/creating the unfair situation and thus I spite them for that, allowing myself to think nasty thought about how they are doing me wrong, and allow myself to speak nasty words and act in nasty behaviors within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to when perceiving someone has done me wrong to allow myself to do wrong unto them within my thoughts/words/actions and thus not live up to my own expectations of another, and not live up to the value/principle of living as what is best for all, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be supportive of another as myself only if they are worthy of it within my interpretation, and if they are un fair I deem them unworthy and allow myself to spite them
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to perceive situations as if I am Being miss treated, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take other people's behaviors personally within expecting them to treat me a=in a certain way that I have defined as good/nice, within this I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to be here as breath no matter what and instead I have allowed myself to manipulate myself into emotional energetic reactions when I perceive someone is mistreating me, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to turn to spitefulness and deliberately allow myself to miss treat others in my thoughts/words and actions as I believe they are doing to me, not realizing that by participating within/as spitefulness I am creating and recreating the cycle of abuse, instead of allowing myself to through communication and in regards to the other being in the situation, support myself and the other to clear up the point and put it on the table, so to speak, instead of going at it in my mind, that in turn effect my actions/behavior as I allow myself to treat another how I wouldn't want to be treated myself
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use spitefulness as a tool to pay back all of those who I blame to have done me wrong, not realizing that by participating within spitefulness I am not standing in alignment within/as myself as I do onto another the very thing I do not want them to do onto me, this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use justifications for allowing myself to be spiteful as I realize that there is no excuse, and no justification that validates being spiteful/nasty/evil towards another, within this I forgive myself for not allowing myself to see and consider that every time I am being spiteful towards another I am actually spiteful towards myself as I deliberately hurt/abuse myself within participating with the mind and thus separating me from myself, as well as creating the obvious consequences of regretting my participation within spitefulness within creating within me an experience of shame, within this I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to stop spitefulness within the realization that nothing good can come out of it, all I am doing within spitefulness is feeding my addiction to energy through believing the justifications and validating and allowing myself to spite others to then spite myself within shame and regret and within allowing myself to exist in a misalignment within myself as I am allowing myself to do that which I judge as evil
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