Showing posts with label steadfastness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label steadfastness. Show all posts
Monday, December 3, 2012
This is a continuation from my previous blogs:
Day 104 - Nature reflecting my assertiveness
Day 105 - My relationship with Assertiveness
Day 106 - Assertiveness - Part 3 - Self forgiveness
Day 107 - assertiveness - "problem points"
Please read this blog for further insight A History with Life After Death – Part 10
"...the most Important Foundation Stone for your Process to Life Here on Earth, which is Steadfastness. It is Consistency. It is the Basis of your Existence. It is the Premise of One’s Equality. It is Who You Are, Breath by Breath. It is where you Face the Temptation of the Easy Road that is Always Presented by the Sugar-Lolly the System use to get you to Ignore the Total Reality and to Focus Only on your own Self Interest. Steadfastness – it is a Steady, yet Fast Movement, to make sure you’re not Shifted from That which Is Life, Equal, In All."
Day 104 - Nature reflecting my assertiveness
Day 105 - My relationship with Assertiveness
Day 106 - Assertiveness - Part 3 - Self forgiveness
Day 107 - assertiveness - "problem points"
I found several
definition of assertiveness
Assertive -
1. Confident and
direct in claiming one's rights or putting forward one's views.
2. Inclined to bold
or confident assertion; aggressively self-assured.
3. given to making
assertions or bold demands; dogmatic or aggressive
The word
assertiveness has been tainted with aggression, I see
this through my own application of the word as well as how it's been defined in
dictionaries - we live in a world that being confident and direct is related to
aggression, that's the extent of suppression we have allowed in this world - as
the only way one can express themselves directly and move forward would be
through using force, so we have a world where those that are confident and
successful had to force their way to the top, within allowing themselves to be
aggressive, but they are not all solely to blame because this is what we all accepted and allowed
as the demands within system , thus, we as the system have related
assertiveness and self direction with aggression and using force.
I was planning to
redefine assertiveness, but instead I was introduced to a new word -
steadfastness, this word represents everything that assertiveness represent but
doesn't have any aggressive connotations, steadfastness represents a stability,
which is not in relation to an interaction, it is a self stability, whereas
assertiveness is in relation to interaction and thus is not an unconditional
self stand, as it is within communication with
another, or towards another, thus, within assertiveness exist steadfastness,
but steadfastness exist regardless of assertiveness as a self stability and
clarity, steadfastness would then essentially be self assertiveness, an
assertiveness as an expression of self regardless the situation.
steadfast
1. fixed in
direction; steadily directed.
2. firm in purpose,
resolution as a person: a steadfast friend.
3. unwavering, as
resolution, adherence, etc.
4. firmly
established, as an institution or a state of affairs.
5. firmly fixed in
place or position.
Please read this blog for further insight A History with Life After Death – Part 10
"...the most Important Foundation Stone for your Process to Life Here on Earth, which is Steadfastness. It is Consistency. It is the Basis of your Existence. It is the Premise of One’s Equality. It is Who You Are, Breath by Breath. It is where you Face the Temptation of the Easy Road that is Always Presented by the Sugar-Lolly the System use to get you to Ignore the Total Reality and to Focus Only on your own Self Interest. Steadfastness – it is a Steady, yet Fast Movement, to make sure you’re not Shifted from That which Is Life, Equal, In All."
I forgive myself for
not accepting
and allowing myself to stand as steadfastness, thus not allowing myself to
stand firm, stable and clear within myself as self honesty as knowing who I am as life and
living myself as self expression in every moment
I forgive myself for
not accepting and allowing myself to be self assertive, within this I forgive
myself for not accepting and allowing myself to be assertive towards myself as
the mind
as I have allowed the mind
to direct me instead of allowing myself to be the directive principle
I forgive myself for
not accepting and allowing myself to accept myself as stable, serious, direct,
and thus have not allowed myself to live and express myself as steadfastness,
in fact I have defined myself as he contrary and thus have created characters
as the joker character that I have lived by and have thus allowed to direct me,
within not realizing that I am being directed by the character that I have
created within separation myself form steadfastness as the expression of self
as life
I forgive myself for
accepting and allowing myself to fear
the reactions of others within projecting onto them the self judgment
based in the self belief that I am not qualifies to express myself as
stability, thus fearing
experiencing the judgment
from them that will confirm my own self judgment, thus I have made a deliberate
choice
to avoid any stand within/as myself as to express myself as silly, and thus to
prevent any judgment that will confirm my own self judgment as inadequate, not
realizing that I have within this, created myself as inadequate and thus have
in fact manifested my fear as proving to myself my own self created self
belief, within this I realize that as long as I judge myself as incapable of
standing, as unworthy of standing within stability, I will continue fearing being judged
by others, thus I realize that my fear of being judged by others is mirroring
myself back to self, as showing me my own points of self judgment, and point I
have not allowed myself to accept as myself as one and equal
I forgive myself for
not accepting and allowing myself to accept myself as serious and thus have
separated myself from serious as an expression, within this I forgive myself
for accepting and allowing myself to prove myself right within not allowing
myself to express myself as serious though using the polarity expression
as the joker and defining it as myself, within this I forgive myself for not
accepting and allowing myself to see, realize and understand that both serious
and the joker expressions are valid as self expression when striped of the
polarity I have attached to them, within giving them a value, and a preference,
thus, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself see that the
value, preference I have given the serious and the joker expression have been
limiting me from actually expressing myself as either of them as myself -
because I have placed value/preference on these expressions I have used them as
self definition and have limited myself as my self expression within an act, a
performance, using these expression to suit my self interest, but within this I
have lost myself in the performance and have become enslaved to the expression
as not allowing myself to be serious "because it's not me" and
expressing myself as the joker when it is not my actual self expression as a
way to hide my true self expression from others as myself "because that's
who I am, funny, a joker"
I realize that I am
not defined by the character o believe to define me, thus, I realize I am not
defined as the joker and not as "not serious" within this I realize
that I can express myself in any expression and not limit myself as self definition,
thus, when and as I see myself going into the joker character, I stop myself
and breathe, I check my starting point, I check within self honesty if joking
around is an actual self expression or is a participation within a character,
thus if I realize that I am acting the character I stop myself, I breathe, and
do not allow myself to participate in the character, I realize this will cause
an inner conflict
because this is the expression I am so used to thus I commit myself to support
myself with breathing
and continue breathing as I return back to self, and align back with myself as
who I really am, thus not allowing myself to jump into character but breath
through it until the energy
has passed, within this I commit myself to when I see myself avoiding the
serious expression due to fear, and due to believing it isn't who I am, I stop
myself and breath, I allow myself to express myself in a stable and clear way
without running away to the joker character, I allow myself to explore myself
as clear, steadfast and stable without fear, within this I commit myself to
stop the polarity I have created between the joker and the serious as I have
realized both expressions are equally valid within a starting point of self
honesty as self expression, and both are equally not valid as a character,
participated within fear.
I commit myself to
walk this point in awareness in the next 7-14 days, and to realign myself and
investigate every specific point that come up where I see myself not standing
stable and instead turning to the joker character, or not allowing myself to express
myself seriously, within this I commit myself to right out the points that come
up and to forgive myself and correct my application and to free myself from the
limitations I have enslaved myself as within this point, and through freeing
myself from this point, allow myself to be one within the expression of
steadfastness in every moment of every breath - I realize this is a process and
will take time, thus, I commit myself to walk it day by day until I have
cleared myself from the points, until I have actually forgiven myself for how I
have allowed myself to exist and correct/change myself to live as self
expression within self honesty as living the principle that governs life as
oneness and equality, and thus living as what is best for all life
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Sunday, December 2, 2012
This is a continuation from my previous blogs
Day 104 - Nature reflecting my assertiveness
Day 105 - My relationship with Assertiveness
Day 106 - Assertiveness - Part 3 - Self forgiveness
1. Not allowing myself to be assertive - fear of judgment, fear of criticism - suppressing myself, not allowing myself to express myself here within self trust, not allowing myself to stand as the point within fear, thus being the joker instead, giggling to make it seam less serious, making what I say as a joke to lower expectations, to lower the pressure of the point, to be able to evaluate what others are thinking and only if I see agreement will I then be serious about the point, but if I don't recognize agreement I will leave it as a joke, as if telling the other "don't worry about not agreeing with me, don't worry about hurting my feelings, I was just kidding, it's no big deal" thus dismissing myself and my expression, disregarding my own point of view as if it's not important, not trusting that it has any value, and only accepting it as valuable if others see it as valuable as well
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being judged and thus limit myself and my self expression as acting in a way that will cause least conflict, thus not allowing myself to express myself and thus suppress myself in order to maintain my relationships stable, instead of realizing that nothing is worth maintaining at the expense of my self expression, within this realizing that any judgment is never personal but always reflecting the one who is judging, thus if I am faced with judgment it's an opportunity to support another by showing them they are participating in judgment, which is always based on projected self judgment, within this not forgetting/disregarding that if I am reacting to any form of judgment I must investigate myself first, before looking at / supporting others, thus I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself the opportunity of expressing myself and facing whatever comes my way within realizing that whatever it is I can handle it through breathing, and whatever reaction come up is another layer of myself I have been hiding from myself yet have allowed to direct me and thus take the opportunity and the responsibility to investigate myself to clear myself from that which has been directing myself and become the self directive principle within/as myself as what is best for all life within equality, practically
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realize and understand that any fear of judgment is showing me the self judgment I am holding towards myself, and thus, within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge/define myself as not being qualified to be taken seriously, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself when I am speaking seriously and look for the points I wasn't clear on and judge myself for being wrong/stupid, instead of allowing myself to explore the point within self expression, and within the realization that I can learn, change and expand as I walk, and that within self judgment I am limiting myself from expanding because I don't let myself make the mistake that I could then learn from and change and correct myself until I am clear
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to express myself as the joker character as a manipulation done within fear of being hurt by what others think/say of me, thus presenting myself as silly and not serious to lower expectations and thus to avoid criticism, as if to say, "I am a joker, don't expect anything serious from me", within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse the expression of joy as I have presented myself as joyful and happy when in fact I have been hiding behind that mask, and thus have tainted the joyful expression through "using" as an act and not as self expression, thus I commit myself to stop myself within and as breath when I see myself going into the joker/silly/funny character when it is not an actual self expression within self honesty, within this I commit myself to investigate the joker character in more depths as to show myself in what specific situations I go into it, to allow myself to see myself and thus stop myself
2. Being assertive from a starting point of desire to be right, where I express myself with passion to make my point, to be heard, but it is within an energy of desire to be right, desire to prove my point, within the preacher character, as I am trying to show others through knowledge and information what I know, within this I see a point of intelligence, within the value I have given it, thus when it comes to topics I am educated about, and believe my perspective to be the right one, or when I speak about desteni related topics I will become assertive but not within stability but rather within energy, and thus not actually assertive but more manipulative and demanding in a way, I express myself in a confident way to sound smart
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing to express myself as assertive within the starting point of the desire to be right, within this expressing myself within energy and not actually being here within stability
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manipulate my expression to sound smart within the attempt of being assertive within the starting point of desire to be right
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to present myself within the desire to be right and thus exchange knowledge and information within the energy of the desire, within this I have not allowed myself to express myself as life within speaking the living word as expressing myself as who I am within what I speak, but instead have painted a picture of knowledge from the starting point of self interest of desire to be right
3. Being assertive within aggression, within this point I find that when I want to make a point, within the self belief of not being assertive, I turn to aggression, as that is the only way to get people to listen, through using force, and thus instead of allowing myself to trust myself within what I say I am expressing self doubt through the need to turn to aggression, thus not only do I not express assertiveness, I am also participating in energy and creating an outflow of consequences for the beings around me and myself as we are all exposed to my aggression which is based in fear of not being heard within the initial starting point of not trusting myself as who I am as self expression
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in aggression instead of speaking within a stability as who I am within self trust and to express myself within my words within realizing that I don't have to push or convince anybody to see what I see, all I can do is express myself within the stability of breath, within self honesty, and when they are ready to hear they will hear, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take it personally wither they hear me or not and I haven't allowed myself thus to simply express myself unconditionally because I have been depending on the result as how others will respond to me, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to turn to aggression as using force to make people listen and hear me within the idea that I can force someone to see/hear not realizing that it's not my responsibility, but theirs, thus my responsibility is to remain breathing and express myself within self honesty and stability, to live as a living example and not be an example of aggression but one of support
Within seeing the "problem point" as why I am not allowing myself to express myself within assertiveness, I can see the practical correction more clearly, this is thus the process of self honesty, because I cannot be assertive if I am not self honest, assertiveness without any energetic charge to it can only be achieved/applied within self honesty, thus the correction I must walk is clearing myself within and as writing and self forgiveness, to clear the definitions/beliefs I have in regards to myself and the point I am walking/talking about, then, within clearing myself to investigate the point and allow myself to stand as the point, within looking / investigating / seeing it's totality, as not just throwing my opinion in the air assertively, but having a substantial understanding and sharing input that is based on common sense and understanding, and thus show how the point coincide with the principle of what is best for all, speaking within stability, expressing myself as steadfastness, speaking within self trust, and if the point isn't clear and I haven't looked at it's totality - I simply don't speak, and go and investigate the point to get clarity, check what wasn't clear, check where was I holding on to beliefs/opinions/ideas/justification, check my starting point, go through the three "problem points" and make sure I am not participating within one of them, and then start again.
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