Showing posts with label mind illusion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mind illusion. Show all posts
Thursday, February 21, 2013
for context please read my previous blogs:
Day 160 – A life changing Decision
Day 161 - Shame - I've done nothing with my life
Day 162 - Running ahead of myself
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to run ahead of myself, as to project into the future, in my mind ideas / imaginations / fears, to then believe them as reality while not realizing that reality is here, in the physical and not a projection of a future that hasn't happened, and is a mere reflection of my imagination / fears / desires.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to run ahead of myself as instead of remaining here in breath - remaining here in breath through making decisions and living them in the physical reality as reality unfolds
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to disregard what is actually here by existing in my mind, as living in an illusion, of a self created movie scene representing what I desire and fear, creating an energetic reaction as excitement or anxiety, accumulating the energy to then, when reality unfolds, react to it and not stand stable as breath
I realize that participating in future projections is self sabotage, because I am, by doing so, building up the energetic charge within myself in relation to the future projection as desire and fear, and then when reality unfolds I experience conflict / friction or satisfaction, all mind energetic experiences, and thus creating the path for myself to become possessed by the mind's energy, instead of remaining here in breath, not building up and accumulating energy through future projections, to then, whatever reality brings forth, walk in stability, because I would have not attached energy in expectation or anxiousness to be enslaved to.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to speak about the future and share my future projections as if they were real, and by doing so, dragging those around me in my illusions, not taking into consideration the consequences of not only deluding myself, but also deluding those around me, not considering them at all, but rather using them as a platform to entertain my future projections, as I make them an audience to my future show
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that by sharing my future projections I am giving them that much more power over me, as I have given myself as my future projections an audience, within this I realize that I must "control myself, as to when I see myself going into future projections, to stop myself and breathe, and to not entertain myself as the mind by sharing these ideas because it makes them physical in a way, and thus gives them more power over me, as I have now exposed them and others know of them, thus, as self support, I commit myself to refrain from sharing with others my future projections / ideas / imaginations, and make a point of remaining physical and practical within my words, as to support myself and them, through speaking the truth, as the reality of what is here, and not to speak the illusions of my mind
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, through out my day, as I do physical activities, instead of being here in breath, to be in my mind as future projections, as I imagine what I will say, what I will ware, how things will be, I imagine my experience within it, I separate myself completely from myself here, from reality, and embark in a journey into my mind
I realize that this is an addiction, because if it was not, it would be easy to stop it in the moment - today, as I was working in the garden, I stopped myself over and over again, saying to myself "NO!!" each time I saw myself going into the thoughts / imaginations - as I was stopping myself over and over I became frustrated and helpless, but then I realized that is also but a mind trick, because there is no point in giving up to helplessness, and yes, I will have to stop myself many many times before the thoughts stop coming up - I have given them so much energy through out my life, it will take time and persistence to stop them, to have their energy dissipate - thus, I realize that it's not a matter of giving up, but simply a matter of making the decision and sticking to it - thus, I commit myself to stop myself in breath, when and as I see myself going into my mind as future projections, imaginations, ideas, and within stopping to forgive myself and not allow myself to create and hold on to any self judgment, and to simply stop as many times as it takes, until it is done.
When I realize / see I'm in my mind, I stop and breathe, I bring myself back here to what I am physically busy with, I focus on my breath, I focus on my physical body
Within this, I commit myself to investigate the points that keep coming up, because I realize they are showing me back to myself, as representing a relationship within me towards myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into future projections in regards to starting a business, within planning and imagining what I will say / do / ware, I realize this indicates a point of not trusting myself, as I exist within a belief / experience, that I must plan ahead, even though, once again, the point isn't here, from perspective that I am not, for instance, at the mall, buying cloths for work - I am working in the garden and anything that isn't in direct relation to what I am doing now, in the garden is irrelevant - I realize that within participating in that which is irrelevant I am showing myself a point of anxiety, based on not trusting myself to be able to handle life as it comes my way, and thus believe I am preparing myself through future projections
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to trust myself to be able to handle whatever comes my way, through remaining here, breathing in stability - I realize this lack of self trust in regards to work is created through memories I am still holding onto within myself and giving value to and defining myself through.
In my next blog I will open up these memories, and will walk them through in self forgiveness to free myself from their hold of me, or actually my hold on them, so that I can learn from the past rather than being enslaved to it.
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Saturday, December 22, 2012
This blog is a follow up from my previous blogs:
Day 123 - Physics and the Desteni Process - From Overwhelmingness to Normal
Day 124 - Behind the Scenes of "Physics and the Desteni Process" series - Self Forgiveness
Day 125 - Behind the Scenes of "Physics and the Desteni Process" series - The Mind as a Pendulum - Self Forgiveness
in relation to the blog series “physics and the Desteni Process”
I started writing the blog series "physics and the desteni process" and within investigating the experience of overwhelmingness that came over me after a few days of starting writing, I realized that my initial starting point of writing about physics wasn't valid as a point within it was that I wanted to prove the physics community wrong, wrong from the perspective of showing that they have been looking at reality through a very narrow lens, and making assumptions that have had harmful consequences on our reality because they carry an entire belief system within them that is not aligned with what is best for all, while disregarding other perspectives that could be more supportive for humanity as a whole.
I wanted to show through physics that reality can, and should, be looked at from a different angle, an angle that it's sole purpose is to benefit our life here on earth, and when I say "our" I mean all of us, all that is here, all humans, all animals, plants, the earth itself and everything created by and from the earth, in other worlds, everything - I realize that even though my intentions were "good" as to show, expose and investigate points within physics and find ways to apply them as what is best for all - my starting point was not valid because it was based on energy - the question that I should always ask myself is "who am I within it" because what I've realized is that I didn't do it from a starting point of humbleness, like a child, investigating the world, asking questions and expressing themselves, but rather from a starting point of ego and separation, as I wanted to prove physics wrong and within that to prove myself "right". Instead of utilizing the tools and the knowledge of physics and applying them within common sense within walking a humble investigation, I have approached it from a starting point of walking into a battle field, preparing myself for war against physics, me against them, and within this starting point I created fear, fear of losing the battle that I have created in my mind, fear of being judged/mocked/ridiculed/crucified by the physics community that I have went to war against.
I realize within this that I have actually been showing myself my participation with my own inner battle, battling between the two personalities within myself that contradict each other, as the "physics" personality and the "desteni" personality, and thus experienced myself in an inner argument between both personalities that I have defined myself as through out my life. It took me a while to realize that I have been projecting my inner battle onto my starting point, and now that I have, I commit myself to investigate, forgive, and let go both personalities within realizing that both are equally limiting me within/as my self expression, and are equally an illusion of self. I realize that within the starting point of a battle, I've walked it as a bully, and in turn expected to be bullied in return, which then created fear within me as the fear of being crucified by the physics community for not being qualified enough to speak my mind about physics. Which then took me to a point of self doubt, "maybe it's true, maybe I am not qualified to speak about it, I didn't study as much as so many others"… and all this mind fuck is a result of my starting point being within energy, desire and inner conflict.
I realize this starting point isn't valid, it isn't valid because I forgot myself within it and instead wanted to prove a point within energy as to win the argument I created in my mind, in a desire to be right, in a battle between personalities, compromising myself through creating a desired end result for the project, as the desire to win the battle and being appreciated by the scientific community, and this desire built up to the belief that I, as the blogs that I write, must be approved and accepted within defining myself and my own self acceptance within the dependency of the acceptance and approval of others. Within this all I have been basically preparing myself to fall, because before starting writing and investigating the point, how can I already desire a specific outcome? While within desiring a specific outcome, anything else I will interpret as a failure, and then go into self diminishment for not making it - what I see here is relevant for any project, how important to remain stable in breathe, here, and walk the points as they open up, one step at a time, not from a starting point of wanting to prove something to anyone, but from a starting point of wanting to clear the point up within/as myself, to investigate for myself, to show myself the common sense in specificity, so that I know for myself that when I speak about equality, or when I speak about anything, I have shown myself the validity of what I am saying, and thus not say it from a belief, but from actual self investigation, and thus can speak it in self trust.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to start a project within a starting point of wanting to prove others wrong and myself right, within this walking within energy as the desire to be right, from a starting point of ego and separation, instead of allowing myself to allocate myself within the starting point and walk the project for/as myself, within doing so, investigating and expending and expressing myself for/as myself, not dependent on others to see and approve my writing as myself, but to walk in self acceptance as I open up the point one step at a time, not within a future projection as a desire to get something out of it, but here, in the moment, writing unconditionally regardless of the outcome.
I commit myself to when starting a new project, to investigate myself as the starting point and to ensure that I am walking the project for/as myself within/as breath, within this, when/as I see that I my starting point is of desire to prove myself right or someone wrong, I stop, I breathe, I realign myself back to myself, I do not allow myself to continue the project while in a starting point of desire to be right, because I've seen the outflow of such a starting point results in self compromising and compromising of the project as a whole, thus I commit myself to take self responsibility for my starting point within everything I do.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into this project from a starting point of a war between me and physics, instead of walking it from a starting point of cooperation, as I utilize the knowledge of physics and further investigate it within the principle of best for all, within looking at the points for the first time in new eyes, as to see how humanity can learn from physics and benefit our reality, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project my inner battle between the two personalities instead of stopping myself and investigating each personality to put both to an end within realizing that both are self limiting because I have defined myself as them and thus felt constraint to maintain the personality, not allowing myself to expand and evolve in every moment of breath according to what is here in every moment, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within a war zone in my mind, and thus create an experience of fear within believing the war to be true.
I commit myself to investigate my starting point within every project I start, within making sure I am not starting it within a war in my mind, as I've realized any idea of a war is a projection of an inner war existing within/as myself and thus I commit myself to take self responsibility to investigate the inner war and to put a stop to it within writing, self forgiveness and corrective statement, as I realize it is not acceptable to exist within an inner war, battling two personalities within myself and projecting this war onto a perceived war with others, I realize the acceptance of inner war is both compromising myself and others as I allow myself to attack them, thus, when I see myself experiencing myself in a war with another, I stop myself and breathe, I take it back to myself and investigate what am I fighting within myself, what are the two points of polarity within myself that I have allowed myself to project and thus exert the war outside of myself and compromise all around me in "dragging" them into my own self created battle.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be blinded by my "good intentions" and thus not allow myself to see that within the starting point of good intentions I am walking within energy, and thus creating an energetic polarity and thus experience fear and overwhelmingness as a result, thus I commit myself to, when going into a project within "good intentions" to stop myself and breathe, to not trust "good intention" blindly but to take a moment and investigate who I am within these intentions, as to find the point of energy within me and clear it up within self forgiveness and to continue walking this point/project in stability and thus prevent the inevitable fall that is sure to come within walking within energy, and thus utilize prevention as the best cure.
To learn more about yourself and how reality functions, please consider a FREE online Course
Desteni I Process Lite - Learn Practical Life Skills Online
Also, Please check out the following Links:
Desteni
Desteni Wiki
Desteni Forum
Desteni I Process
Equal Money System
Journey to Life Group
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Creation's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to LIfe
Earth's Journey to Life
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