Day 201 – Slow Down

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to run and rush and within this to forget to breathe and thus to forget myself

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to plan my day in such a way where I end up rushing from one place to the next with out leaving myself any time to breathe

 

I forgive myself for accepting ad allowing myself to move from one activity to the next while not being here in breath and thus separating myself from myself as breath and from the activity that I am participating in, within this I realize that I can walk through my day within breath in every moment and still tend to all activities doing so from a starting point of being here within and as self within and as breath

 

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to slow down within the activities I am participating in, and thus, to not allow myself to walk them breath by breath

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience a form of anxiety as I move through out my day, and within that I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to rush within the anxiety as if to get it done with and finished with, instead of stopping myself in the moment the rush / anxiety comes up, and within breath move myself to complete the task / activity within awareness of my breath as the hereness of myself

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience a sense of importance as I rush through out my day, and thus from a starting point of ego and importance I sabotage myself and do not allow myself to slow down and breathe here, within the justification that what I'm busy with is so important, I must rush, and thus allow myself to distant from myself as breath

 

I commit myself to practice being here in awareness as breath within everything I do

 

I realize that building this self awareness as breath as the hereness of myself will take practice and consistency, and thus, I commit myself to return to breath time and time again

 

I commit myself to make note of flag points that come up through out the day, and to use them as reminders to stop and breathe and return to myself here

 

I commit myself to when I am typing my writings of the day, to slow myself down in breath, allow myself to be here as the words I type

 

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to even be here within and as myself as breath, and thus miss out on the one important and valuable thing in life - breath - I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blind myself with a sense of importance in regards to everything I do in my life, and thus to distract myself from myself as breath into the mind

 

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that all that I can do for myself at this stage is to support myself in returning to myself as breath, to build myself from breath as life - I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to still be tempted and lured by the mind as desires and fantasies and back chat and judgments, and to instead of stopping my participation within and as the mind, I still allow myself to go into it and entertain myself with it - even though I have seen and realized that nothing good can come out of it

 

To learn more about yourself and how reality functions, please consider a FREE online Course

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Eqafe Life Products - Self Help

Creation's Journey to Life

Heaven's Journey to LIfe

Earth's Journey to Life

Physics' Journey to Life

Day 200 – Who am I within a Decision?

I have done a 21 day of self dedication, but since have missed a few days, so will start over, because the commitment / goal is to write as self support consistently every day, and not to miss a day for 21 days – so today i commit myself to myself again, and start over.

 

I just found some writings i had done when making the decision to leave the farm, re-reading it was interesting because i could see that I wasn’t honest with myself, not allowing myself to see what i want, because it clashed with what i expected myself to want, and within not admitting to what i want, i couldn’t investigate it and find the misalignments within it - the one thing I missed is the possibility of staying at the farm and changing my application - I was judging myself for not applying myself and my time there not being valuable, realizing that I am not being effective, but instead of changing myself I changed my location, within doing so, taking myself as the pattern of ineffectiveness with me, now - I could have stayed and applied myself and pushed myself to change and become effective and consistent, but instead I indirectly directed everything to leave on may 11th, within this, i used a conversation i had with bernard as the greatest justification to come to the decision that i did, not seeing that all he did was show me that which i wouldn’t allow myself to see, though only now i realize that, at the time i thought it was him approving and supporting my decision.. lol… so in a way i used his words to validate my decision when in fact his words only allowed myself to see who i was in that moment, and within not realizing this at the time, i simply went with that which i saw i wanted instead of investigating it and making sure it is the best decision i could make.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to decide to leave the farm instead of staying and making the decision to become effective

 

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that the change I must push myself to walk as to become effective will be the same on the farm and here, and so all I did was postpone changing, bringing myself into a potentially harder situation instead of utilizing the support system I had at the farm

 

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see this points clearly and within it to support myself in realizing that staying at the farm and applying myself effectively would be more supportive than leaving and walking the point of changing myself into becoming effective, here in the system - within this, I realize I can only walk the consequences of my past decisions, and so it is still up to me here as I walk to change myself and become effective, and it is still up to me to utilize the support that is available here for me, and so, I realize that it's not a point of making a mistake whether to leave or not, but simply a point to look at and learn from for making decisions in the future, and within this to realize that it really doesn't matter if I'm here or there, because either way I am here, with/within/as myself, and must walk all the points equally - so, really no harm done - only an eye opener.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to direct my decision from a starting point of excitement and desire, and thus not within common sense and practicality as making sure that all the points are in place effectively before moving to the next step

 

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that the eagerness I experienced was actually a "fear of missing an opportunity" as I have experienced once before, thus allowing past events to direct me instead of directing myself here

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to carry along with me the past event of missing an opportunity and thus to proceed in hastiness from a starting point of fear of missing out, rather then practicality

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed by the fear of missing out instead of realizing that by existing within the fear I am manifesting it into reality as I have proven to myself many times, that, that which I fear will manifest by and from the fear itself - and so, I realize that any step I take within the starting point of fear is bringing me that much closer to the failure / missing out / disappointment I fear so much - and thus - I stop myself here, and commit myself to investigate all points of fear in order to not follow them blindly but to through the fear, see more clearly and develop self honesty

 

When and as I see myself going into fear, and being directed by fear, I stop myself and breathe - I realize the fear will always only manifest itself into reality, and thus will never actually support me as who I am as life - and so, I commit myself to, when I see fear as part of my decision making, I stop and breathe, I bring myself back here, I write out the point and within writing it allowing myself to be self honest within myself and see deliberately and directly that which I am missing and not allowing myself to see as the fear.

 

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to know what I want and thus ask for advice when actually I know what I want to hear and feel a relief when I hear what I want - and so, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to be honest with myself as to see that which I want, even and especially when it is not what I expect myself to want as it clashes with my expectation of what I believe I should have wanted

 

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize and practice this realization that I must first be honest with myself as to see who I am in the moment, who I am within my relationship to a point, in order to from there see what I am allowing myself to be directed by - in other words, as long as I don't allow myself to face myself and see in self honesty who I am, I cannot correct myself and align myself as self support as what is best for all

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide from myself who I am as what I want / desire / believe / hope within self judgment as expecting myself to want / need / desire / hope something else, not realizing that it's not what I want but the construct of the want that is the problem so to speak, and thus, the judgment towards one desire implies that another would be valid, thus validating the participation in desire of mind, rather than realizing that all desires are equal in their separation, and thus, as long as I exist in the realm of the mind as want / desire / believe / hope there is no point of judging myself but rather seeing it for what it is and letting it go within understanding that I, as life, do not require want / desire / belief / hope as separation from / as myself

 

To learn more about yourself and how reality functions, please consider a FREE online Course

Desteni I Process Lite - Learn Practical Life Skills Online

 

Also, Please check out the following Links:

Desteni

Desteni Wiki

Desteni Forum

Desteni I Process

Equal Money System

Journey to Life Group

Eqafe Life Products - Self Help

Creation's Journey to Life

Heaven's Journey to LIfe

Earth's Journey to Life

Physics' Journey to Life

Day 172 – Is a Law abiding Citizen Equal to a Murderer?

My response to the question: “So you would say that a law abiding citizen should in principle be equal to a murderer or psychopath?.” posted on Quora

 

it's not that "a law abiding citizen SHOULD in principle be equal to a murderer or psychopath" - it's that they ARE equal - we are all in fact equal, we are equal from many perspectives: we all have the same basic necessities, we all eat / drink / shit / breathe, we are all a product of our environment and upbringing, we are the outcome of our education and our life circumstances - From this perspective, you cannot attempt to compare a law abiding citizen and a murderer without looking into all the details of their lives - because you are trying to point fingers at the murderer and suggest that they solely are responsible for their character and behavior as you are implying that the law abiding citizen is responsible for his conduct - you are basically stating that parenting and education have nothing to do with how we end up, you are saying that our financial status, the support we receive as children growing up, the role models we had around us, the mental health of our family members - all that means nothing... I'm sure you realize that all these factors play a roll in how we turn out - and thus, as long as we don't have equal conditions, an equal basis to stand up from - how dare you compare the outcome? how dare you base who is deserving or worthy of a dignified life based on the outcome of the circumstances they were exposed to?

And yes, we are each responsible for who we are, and we can each walk a process of self responsibility and change / correct ourselves to the better - this isn't about holding on to blaming the circumstances and hiding behind our past - but, do most people have access, the finance, the ability, the knowledge or the support to walk an effective process of self empowerment? no, which is yet again another reason for equal money to be in place, because that will ensure the means to support all, to overcome their past, to let go of the blame, to forgive the circumstances of their lives, and to correct themselves as to become an effective citizen - a citizen that not only obey rules out of fear of consequence, but rather a citizen that actually respects themselves, honors life, and recognizes that their neighbors are their equals, and treats them as they would like to be treated.

Day 166 - Enslaved to Memories - Money and Morality

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for context please read my previous blogs:

Day 160 – A life changing Decision
Day 161 - Shame - I've done nothing with my life
Day 162 - Running ahead of myself
Day 163 - Running ahead of myself - Self forgiveness
Day 164 - Enslaved to Memories - Failed opportunity relived
Day 165 - Enslaved to Memories - Correction
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a point of morality where I can only sell that which I have tried and tested for myself, while not considering that practically that cannot be a determining factor within this current system where people need to make a living and cannot be self righteous about only selling products that they have tested, as for example med can sell hygienic products for women and visa versa - thus I realize that any point of morality is a distraction, as placing the accountability on the sales person while not considering the entire money system as accountable for the fact that people even have to go out and try to sell to other people shit they might not need in order to survive the system - thus I realize that within the current system no morality exist, and trying to perceive myself as moral would be within separating myself from the system as I am the moral island in the deceit of the system - while in fact no one can honestly separate themselves from the system because we are all creating it within out participation, as everything we do is from the system, there is no escaping it - thus, by placing morality on small aspects within the system I am dissecting myself from the fact that the system in it's entity must change, and until it does nothing I do within it can hold any morality - it would be done as the rest from a practical perspective of survival within realizing that one must have money to live in the system.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide behind the sense of morality as a way to make myself feel good, as a way to believe myself to being a good person that feels bad for deceiving others, when in fact any dollar that moves in the current system is deceptive, thus, there is no escaping it - the only moral thing to do is change the system so that no one needs to deceive to survival and that the system is designed in such a way that it supports all equally and provides for all their requirements for a dignified and satisfied life
 
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that not all have the luxury of being moral about what they do for a living, and thus, that implies that the point of morality doesn't stand in equality, because only those that are already part of the elite can afford to have the inner conflict of morality and be picky about what to do or not do for a living - within these words I realize that any point of morality is just that, a point of inner conflict, as a mind construct, creating inner conflict and friction to produce more energy for the mind to thrive on, thus consuming the physical body as the resource for the mind's energy as the mind mines the physical for it's own survival - using morality as a point of "feeling good and positive" as to lure self into participation - thus, I stop! I realize morality is a scheme to create a positive energetic feeling and thus divert ones attention from he fact that the entire system in which we exist in and participate in is far from moral, and within it all being interconnected, ones morality is deceptive as they exist in the belief that they are not participating in the injustice of the system, when in fact we all are participating and creating it, not one of us can be excluded from the equation - thus, the only way can ensure that one doesn't have blood on their hands, is to bring about a system that support all life equally, that the system is constructed in designed in such a way that the individual will not have to decide between a moral and non moral jobs, because under the constitution only moral jobs will be allowed - as suggested in the Equal Money System - thus, I realize that until such a system is in place there is no point in participating in the minds diversion as morality, but to ensure that one is stable within oneself, here in the physical, doing what needs to be done to set oneself free of the mind's control and limitation, so that once and for all self can be trusted with life as life.
 

 
If you’d like to educate yourself further in regards to what money stands for within our lives – here are two recommendations - enjoy 
The Soul of Money
Life Review - The Money Experience
 
To learn more about yourself and how reality functions, please consider a FREE online Course
Desteni I Process Lite - Learn Practical Life Skills Online
 
Also, Please check out the following Links:
Desteni
Desteni Wiki
Desteni Forum
Desteni I Process
Equal Money System
Journey to Life Group
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Creation's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to LIfe
Earth's Journey to Life
Physics' Journey to Life

Day 156 - How will the world ever change if we exist in deliberate ignorance? - Self Forgiveness

This blog is a follow up from my previous blog Day 155 - Desperation - How will the world ever change?, where I express my desperation towards the condition of the world and blame others for creating it, while not taking responsibility and realizing my part in creating the world as it is - in the following blogs I will be walking in self forgiveness the points that had opened up through writing the previous blog, as my first step of actually taking self responsibility.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept unquestionably the information I receive through the main stream media and from social conversations / gossip / arguments, instead of allowing myself to investigate the points through cross referencing with other forms of media to allow myself to become aware and see the entire picture as what is actually going on in the world around me, and thus, to take responsibility for myself within and as the world / reality I live in and to within that take responsibility for the world as myself, instead of blindly placing my trust in the media to present accurate and unbiased informational facts, and in the governments to work within the best interest of the people as humanity and the world as one, and thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my responsibility to actually know what is going on around me in the world / country I live in, and within that to abdicate my responsibility to act on it, thus, stepping back and away from my responsibility of fully participating in life, as my responsibility of being an informed, active and contributing human being, as a citizen of the world.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live in a bubble, where I do not listen to the news as to not hear about the problems that are going on around me, from a starting point of "it doesn't concern me, I don't really care" and thus, to allow myself to deliberately exist in ignorance as I ignore what is going on all around me, as a reflection of that which I am allowing to go on within myself and am ignoring and suppressing myself just as I am ignoring and suppressing the problems of the world in order to continue one more day to exist in my bubble of comfort , as I pretend that what doesn't effect me directly or that I don't know - doesn't concern me, while in fact, by deliberately not informing myself I am placing my vote for anything to go on as it is, as if saying everything is cool the way it is, while knowing in self honesty that it is far from ok, both within myself and without as the world system, thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ignore in ignorance all the abuse and suffering because I believe it doesn't concern me because I have created a comfortable life for myself, and myself alone, within existing in the bubble of illusions separate from what is really here as the physical reality, and within it I don't want to inconvenience myself with the problems of others, as well as my own inner problems, thus , I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live in a bubble isolated from the world as the physical reality that is shared by all equally and is created by all equally and thus is the responsibility of all equally, as well as existing in isolation from myself in suppression, not wanting to face the nastiness of myself just as I don't want to face the nastiness of the world, thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as "ignorance is bliss", when in fact, in self honesty I know that there is nothing blissful about the physical reality as it currently exists as, which I have allowed in my silence, as well as there is nothing blissful about my self experience, beyond and beneath the act of comfortability.

 

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that if I'm not part of the solution I am part of the problem within giving my permission in my self interest silence, and thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to allow atrocities to exist as I give them permission by not standing up to stop them in the justification that "I am not aware / capable / knowledgeable enough to do anything about it anyway and thus let me let others that are more qualified than me to take care of this world, while I sit in my comfortable life in ignorance", within this, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that by giving my permission to atrocities to continue undisturbed, I am responsible for them, and from that perspective they do indeed concern me, they concern me from a perspective that within self honesty I know that I am allowing and accepting them to continue, within self honesty I know I much more capable and able to do something, speak up, writing a blog, and thus, within self honesty I know as I am doing nothing, that I am doing it within self interest, and thus, within self honesty I know the shame I am to experience when I allow myself to ask myself why did I do nothing? Why did I allow this? Why did I abdicate my responsibility and chose the easy / self interest way out through deliberate ignorance?

 

Thus, I realize that when abuse is taking place I can either stand equal to the abuse in self interest, or I can stand equal to life - where standing equal to the abuse can take the form of deliberate participation or deliberate ignorance as both allow the abuse to continue undisturbed, where as standing up equal to and as life, in standing up for life, I would take all measures necessary to expose and stop the abuse, to change the system so that such abuse will no longer be seen as accepted or justified, and to change myself into the living expression of life, as oneness and equality, in being a living example as living within and as the principle of what is best for all life, thus, not allowing myself to hide from the news in deliberate ignorance, but to inform myself, to educate myself, to take responsibility for myself, to no longer see myself as less than the world events but realize that I am in fact one and equal to all that is happening in the world, and in every breath I have a choice if to live this breath accumulating myself as deliberate ignorance as I ignore the abusive nature of this reality, or I can chose to accumulate myself as a responsible being that is working towards a solution, both within myself and without as the world system as a whole.

 

When and as I see myself go into an experience of resistance towards reading the news, within experiencing myself as not interested / bored / don't care / couldn't be bothered / "I have better and more important things to do" / "I don't know anything about politics I will not understand" - or any other excuse and justification to not take the time to inform myself of what is happening in the world around me - I stop myself and breathe - I realize that I must inform myself as to what is happening in the world around me which I am a part of and equal to, and responsible for whether I am aware of what is going on or not, through deliberately allowing myself to live in a bubble of ignorance, thus, I commit myself to become informed with world events, through reading daily news articles from different sources, I commit myself to educate myself through reading, investigating and cross referencing points of knowledge as to have a wide and unbiased perspective which will then allow me to be able to work towards solutions, within realizing that I must open my eyes and ears in order to know what is actually physically here as the problems of this world, in order to assist in finding practical and livable solutions that can be implemented in the physical reality as to assist humanity as myself to walk a process of correction from the abusive nature we exist as into a corrected, improved and perfected nature of self support, as an expression of "love thy neighbor", as living and expressing in every moment the principle of what is best for all life equally.

 

 

To learn more about yourself and how reality functions, please consider a FREE online Course

Desteni I Process Lite - Learn Practical Life Skills Online

 

Also, Please check out the following Links:

Desteni

Desteni Wiki

Desteni Forum

Desteni I Process

Equal Money System

Journey to Life Group

Eqafe Life Products - Self Help

Creation's Journey to Life

Heaven's Journey to LIfe

Earth's Journey to Life

Physics' Journey to Life

Day 89 - Fear dimension - Authority - Part 10

This blog is continuing from the previous blog:

Day 79 - The lowest point

Day 80 - "I don't like being corrected / told what to do" character – Fear dimension  - Mistakes – Part 1

Day 81 - "I don't like being corrected / told what to do" character – Fear dimension - Failure – Part 2

Day 82 – Fear Dimension –Failure - self forgiveness - Part 3

Day 83 - Fear Dimension - Being Wrong - Part 4

Day 84 - Fear Dimension - Being Judged - Part 5

Day 85 - Fear Dimension - specialness - Part 6

Day 86 - Fear Dimension - specialness - Part 7 - Self Forgiveness

Day 87 - Fear Dimension - Inferiority - Part 8

Day 88 - Fear dimension - Part 9 - self commitment

Within investigating the character of "I don't like being corrected / told what to do", within opening up the fear dimension of this character, the three statements of fear below are all related to my fear of authority.

1. I fear authority / I fear confronting authority
2. I fear being yelled at or upset with or punished
3. I fear being someone's slave, as in being in a position of having to do what another tells me to do

There is a specific memory that comes up within me every time I look at the point of fear of authority. I was in the 10th grade, and while in class was talking to a class mate, at one point the teacher, that was disturb by our chatting, turned to us and shouted at me to shut up - I was shocked, insulted, and angry, "how dare he speak to me like that?". During the remaining of the lesson I sat very quietly and very spitefully, reliving him shouting at me in my mind, blaming him for addressing only me while we were both chatting with each other, blaming him for shouting at me to shut up, thinking to myself as back chat "that is so rude, a teacher shouldn’t speak in such a way to a pupil", basically compounding and energizing the reaction within me.

After the lesson was over I came up to him, I told him I want to talk to him when he is free after the other pupils have left and then I went at it, I told him assertively that it's unacceptable to speak like that to a pupil especially in front of the entire class, he was rather calm, expressed that its unacceptable that speak during class, but he then apologized and agreed with me that he shouldn't have reacted in such a way, but, because I had build up all this energy within myself I was so overwhelmed by the energy and my eyes were tearing as I was telling him how badly he behaved - so I'm standing there, assertive one the one hand but with tears in my eyes, on the other. When he saw my eyes water he commented on it, and within anger I told him to ignore it, it was irrelevant and made me feel like he is now feeling sorry for me, I didn't intend to cry, I wanted to be strong and direct as I scold him.

The conversation went on just for a few moments, looking at it now I see that he agreed with me and was apologetic, but the memory I was left with created the self belief within myself that I am intimidated/afraid/threatened by authority because of the experience of overwhelmingness that caused me to tear up.

Now that I am revisiting the memory, I see that I actually stood up to him in spite of him being an authority, showing something else that the memory and the self definition created by it doesn't represent, but because I cried and saw it as a weakness I've turned the entire scenario in my mind into a self belief that I fear authority, and have lived that fear ever since. I experience it as I fear approaching authority, fear talking to them, fear getting in trouble with them - I basically want to be invisible from the eye of the authority.

A point within the experience of being intimidated/threatened by authority is that I fear seaming weak in front of authority, as playing a power game, not realizing that by playing the power game I am in fact accepting them as my authority, because if I didn't see them as authority/superior and if that wouldn't activate the competition within me there wouldn't be any ground to play the power game, so I participate in playing this power game, that I have created in my mind, instead of stopping the game all together and realizing equality, as two equal human being.

Looking at it from adult eyes, it's easier to see that we are actually equal, and still I experience myself within the fear of authority, but as children, man, children are constantly and continuously suppressed into believing in the construct of authority, so no wonder that as adults it is so imbedded within and as us, as our very beingness, as an accepted part of reality.

In the system as we know it, we are faced with authority as an integral part of the system, as children it starts with our parents and continues to other adult figures as teachers / principles/neighbors - children are basically submitted to accept the authority of anyone that is older than them, and as we grow older we accept authority as our boss, professors, doctors, the police, and government officials.
It's an interesting thing though, because, as we accept these figures as authority we accept them as superior and powerful, as if they have power over us, and thus there exists fear - not realizing that we have given them power over us through our acceptance of the construct of authority within the acceptance of the current system, as it exists today - so we are in fact creating and then giving power to our own fear of authority, through creating authority within our acceptance. Fear of authority is accepted and promoted through the very system we live within/as, it is part of how we have created the system, just as we have created the family construct, where the point of authority is a point of inequality and based on inflicting fear and terror to gain control.

It is rather odd that we accept certain figures in our lives to be an authority over us, when in fact they are simply holding on to a specific job and have specific responsibilities - we accept the hierarchy of authority instead of creating a society that is based on equality, as suggested by the Equal Money System, where no one has power over any one else, where no one threatens or intimidates any one else merely based on their placement in the system, or their role/responsibility in society - we can each have different responsibilities and take part in different aspect of society, some of us can be managers from perspective of being in charge and responsible of a bigger part of the system, while others are responsible for a small part, but we can do this without having to resort to being bullied/threatened/intimidated by authority, and instead exist as equals, as different organs in one body, that each have a specific role and all work together, equally valuable as different parts of the one system/earth/existence, that we share.

For Further Support, Please check out Links:

Desteni

Desteni Wiki

Desteni Forum

Desteni I Process

Equal Money System

Journey to Life Group

Eqafe Life Products - Self Help

Creation's Journey to Life

Heaven's Journey to LIfe

Earth's Journey to Life

Day 17 - Equal Money Excuses - Why EMS will apparently not work

Why EMS will apparently not work...

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want the equal money system to work but to actually believe it will fail due to not being practical enough, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as inner conflict within myself within the construct of "I want something that is impossible" I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as this non-practical construct and thus project the impracticality that I exist as onto the equal money system without taking the time to actually go through all the information in regards to the equal money system and to participate in order to assist in making it practical within realizing that only if I and others participate to create the equal money system will it even be created, within understanding that it is up to myself and each one of us to make the equal money system, as the global system in which we all live in, as a system that provides and support all life equally, a reality

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe people who tell me that the equal money system will never work because it isn't in human nature to be equal and to support each other, and that the equal life idea is only a fairy tale that cannot be actually lived in reality, within this I forgive myself for not realizing that these people have just heard about the equal money system through me and haven't actually investigated it for themselves, and through me they could only hear the limited information that I could pass on including all the fears and doubts I still participate within, and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to share my perspectives about the equal money system without fully understanding and being a part of creating the idea and "business plan" of it so to speak, and thus within sharing that which I am not familiar with and not an active part of, within realizing that I am only creating an opinion in their minds based on the partial information as opinion I am sharing with them and that sharing particle information is not serving them nor the equal money system, thus I commit myself to investigate the equal money system so that I can share a full and complete perspective and encourage others as I have set an example to actually investigate the information for themselves so that they can have a clear perspective and not only through the limitation of what I understood or misunderstood.

Within this I commit myself to not believing other people doubts about the equal money system without having investigated the information through their own eyes, and even if they have I commit myself to stopping my participation in any doubt towards the equal money system, instead I will investigate the topic and ask questions to clarify the point and will participate and suggest ideas to assist in creating the equal money system as an effective and practical system that actually supports all life through debugging all the points needed to be debugged

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe the equal money system sound "too god to be true" and within that I am allowing myself to hold on to the skepticism as if preparing myself to the failure of the equal money system, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear investing my time and energy and hope on the equal money system and due to this fear of failure I have been holding on to the doubt as a back door to tell myself later that "I know it would work, I never really believed it would work" not realizing that by accepting myself as this doubt I am in fact doubting myself and projecting this self doubt on to the equal money system, I realize I have been using this construct in many points of my life, within the fear of failure I allow myself to doubt myself within the belief that if I have doubted myself all along it will make the failure less painful, not realizing that by doubting myself I am creating the failure to begin with and thus not only will it be as painful as I allow it to be, but also I will know that I have created it through not trusting myself and pushing myself to do everything that is in my power to do – I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to within the fear of failure and within allowing self doubt – to actually create the failure before even starting 

I commit myself to stopping myself as self doubt, and whenever self doubt comes up within me to stop myself and breathe, within realizing that self doubt is a character created by me to manipulate me to believing that doubt will make the failure more bearable not realizing that self-doubt the character that is preparing the way before me to fail and thus preparing myself to give up before even starting and thus not allowing myself to do everything that I could do thus leading to self-judgment as abuse – within seeing all this I commit myself to stopping self doubt and instead investigate and focus on what is practical for me to do, not allowing the doubt to limit myself to then create the failure I fear but rather to use the doubt as support to see what am I not doing that I could be doing to push the point that I am walking.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that any fear/doubt towards the equal money system is a projection of fear/doubt I have towards self, and thus I realize that the responsible thing to do is when I see myself doubting the equal money system I stop and breathe and take a moment to look within myself to see what am I doubting within myself, and at the same time what can I do that I am not doing to clear the doubt I am holding within me and projecting it towards the equal money system,

I commit myself to investigating the equal money system if and when I find myself doubting it, and to see what I can do to assist the point if I find that it is still not clear and effective 

i commit myself to building myself as self trust to be able to trust myself to be practical and effective in the world, to trust myself that i am in fact doing everything that is in my power to do to support myself as life and all as one and equal, and to stop any form of abuse within myself and within and as existence as myself, to dedicate to work towards bringing forth heaven on earth as equality for all as one, starting with myself and the money system as the system that is currently governing all that is here, and thus must be changed and to be aligned with the principle of what is best for all within equality. 

Investigate of the Equal Money System