Day 208 - My dog ate my laptop’s power cord

Woke up a few days ago and found my laptop's power cord all chewed up, I've been living with my brother's 13 week old cute puppy so it wasn't a big mystery as to what happened… I got really mad and yelled at her, held her down with the broken cable in my hand showing her what she did was wrong, making sure she knew she'd been bad - but how could she have known? Did she know? All she does most of the time is chew on things - some things are her toys made for her to chew on and some are my shoes, the table, the sofa, socks, the staircase and cables, wire and cords - She is a puppy, that's what they do, they chew on things…

 

Looking at my reaction, It's clear that I'm more upset about the laptop's power cord being destroyed than I am when she chews on other things because of my relationship to my laptop - because I practically use it daily, so from that perspective I have to put many things on hold when I don't have access to my laptop, but I also got upset because I thought it meant that I would have to now spend time and money to replace it, and I know I can't afford not to, so I must do it now. I ended up spending a few hours going around from store to store in the are just to find out that I can't get it in the store because I have a unique power cord, and that I must get it online, which was a problem cause by now I didn't have any battery life left so my laptop was dead - but, the funny thing is, had I just bought it online instead of going all over the place and reacting for being hassled, it would have taken me 10 minutes, and it was actually very cheap - but because I reacted and made a big deal out of it, I got a big deal out of it while it wasn't really a big deal at all - if I had not reacted I would have phoned the places and have seen they don't have the proper size cord, I could have checked online to see what I am looking for and how much it costs and would have found out how cheap it was - bottom line is that my reaction took over and I couldn't from that point act practically and effectively, and so made it much harder for myself, and for the puppy, as my reaction was not pleasant for her, it was violent and abusive.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react in violence and abuse towards the puppy because she had chewed on something that i perceive as valuable, I realize that nothing justifies a reaction of violence and abuse - when and as I see myself reacting in anger I stop myself and breathe, I bring myself back here to the physical body and breathe, I commit myself to only "educate" my dog within a starting point of stability and support and to not communicate with her from a starting point of anger as that comes out as the expression of violence and abuse.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to value some objects more than others as I create different relationships with my things, and within that I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react within energy when anything happens to any of the items that I value - within this, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize the value I have placed on things is related to money and thus it is not really my relationship to the thing itself but rather my relationship to money - I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed by my relationship towards money and within this to allow myself to react with anger as the expression of violence and abuse due to the thought of now having to spend money on buying a new cord

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in blame towards the puppy as I blame her for being the cause of me now having to go out and buy a new cord, blaming her for wasting my time and money, while I have not allowed myself to take full responsibility for the event within for instance not making sure the puppy has enough chew bones to chew on, and that I have left the cord just laying around carelessly, within this I also forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to investigate the point of blame as a reflection of that which I judge and blame myself for as spending my own time and money recklessly, as I am not yet living every moment effectively and thus I waste my time, and I am not yet spending my money effectively and so I waste my money - I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not actually make clear and direct decisions as to how to spend my time and money but instead I have allowed myself to be directed by emotions, reactions and distractions as the god of me as the deciding factor of what I spend my time and money on

 

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that within reacting in anger towards the puppy I am teaching her and indoctrinating her into a world of energetic communication, and so I am responsible for her learning to use and abuse energy, thus, I realize that I must prevent myself from reacting with energy towards the puppy as with children, when we react with energy they then learn to use the energy as emotional manipulation, and so I am trapping her in that form of energetic communication by being an energetic role model - I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize the responsibility of teaching and training another being to exist and live in this world, and thus I have a responsibility to teach and train within stability and not indoctrinate another being to depend on energy and use energy within relationships and communication.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that my reaction towards my brother's puppy is with more anger / energy than when my own puppy got in trouble, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that I have been bias towards puppies and within that I will tolerate my things being chewed only if it is done by MY puppy, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a condition as if to say that only in the condition that I am your favorite human and if you show that you love me the most , then it's ok for you to chew on my things and I will still love you and not build up resentment, but, if you are not MY puppy and you love another human more then me, then it's not cool that you wreck my stuff… lol.. It's the same with parents / children

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to favorite my own child / puppy and within that to tolerate their behavior while when others will behave in the same way I will react with energy as anger, within this, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to be stable within myself and to give to all equally the same response as a response of support and consideration, within supporting them as myself to become discipline and to realize what is the most practical and effective behavior that will support all equally - I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as an example of bias and inequality

Day 205 - Questions and hidden agenda

I hate it when people ask me questions and I can see / hear the undertone that they are actually questioning me, as they are not asking from a naïve starting point, but it's like they have something to say, but they won't just go ahead and say it, so they are asking questions that lean to what they really want to say.

 

I had that happen today, and clearly I reacted...

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to someone asking me a question within creating an idea / belief that they have a secret agenda

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to when believing someone has a secret agenda while asking me a question, to not allow myself to listen unconditionally but instead I react and resist what is being said

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame the other for asking me questions within secret agendas instead of looking at my reaction and taking the opportunity to investigate myself and understand why am I allowing this to be a trigger point for a reaction such as anger

 

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realize and understand that the way the person is asking the question and whether they have secret motives or not, is no excuse or justification for me to react and "loose my cool", and thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame them for their expression instead of taking it back to self and investigating myself within my accepted reaction.

 

I realize that my reaction towards someone asking me a question with a secret agenda indicated that I do it as well, and as I am sitting here typing this blog, I found myself doing it, asking a question in order to "get to something" it was very subtle - I realize that this isn't a point of right / wrong, because in some occasions it may be valid to direct the conversation in such a way, I realize it always has to do with the starting point - am I hiding something in fear as I tipi tow around a point instead of speaking clearly and directly, or am I doing so within directing the situation within consideration of all that are involved?

 

And so, I realize that when others do it, I cannot judge them because I don't know their starting point, all I can now see is my reaction to the situation - where in today's situation I saw that when they asked me the question and I reacted, it showed me that I wasn't clear on the point, and so I felt attacked and pressured - showing me that instead of walking in humbleness I am walking in pride and ego

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge others for questioning me within a hidden agenda within defining it as wrong and manipulative, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that it's not about right or wrong but about the starting point of myself within the situation

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ask questions instead of speaking directly within the starting point of fear of conflict, within tip towing around the other person

 

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see and realize that when others tip tow around me as they ask me questions, instead of getting angry with them in blame I can look at myself and consider my reactions

 

It's interesting how it is all connected, because the one asking me in fear, and tipi towing around the point instead of speaking directly does so in fear of my reaction, and all along that approach is what triggers my reaction… and from the other side, I react to how they are asking me so I answer with anger and impatient and blame them for how they do things, while all along giving them the justification for their initial tip tow as they see they were right to fear me because look at how I react, and so the loop continues…

 

Within this I also realize that since it is a loop I have an opportunity to stop my participation in it at every moment, and so, the only reason this loop continues is because I have continued to participate with it, while blaming the others in my mind that it's their fault and their expression that caused the problem to begin with.

 

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to take responsibility for my own reactions and instead have accepted and allowed myself to hide in blame and thus to perpetuate the problem as the conflict and energetic reaction within myself and the other.

 

I'll continue with this point tomorrow

Day 147 - Inadequacy - forgiving childhood play time

this is continuing my previous blogs

Day 143 – Inadequacy

Day 144 - Inadequacy - a child gymnast

Day 145 - Inadequacy - Child's Play

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe myself to be inadequate because my sister was better than me in the games we played

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to, each time I would play with my sister and lose, accumulate it as a memory proving my inadequacy, within this allowing myself to give up on myself, as believing I will not win the game any way because I am inadequate, and thus I stopped even trying, I would play within an energetic experience of knowing it is pointless

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to value winning within playing a game, and have not allowed myself to play for the pure and unconditional enjoinment of the game

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed by the winning or losing of the game instead of allowing myself to enjoy the game within the doing of it, simply playing within a starting point of enjoinment rather within the starting point of winning

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that because I had placed value on winning the game, and have defined myself according to if I won or not, I did not allow myself to enjoy the game and expand within it, but rather I allowed myself to become limited within participating in the cycle of losing and thus believing myself to be inadequate, and thus not even trying and thus not improving / expanding, and thus losing more as proving myself right, and so on, until I have integrated the character of being inadequate as myself, and have not questioned it since.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to play within an emotional state of anxiety as within fear of losing the game again, within this I see now that I have allowed myself to become aggressive towards my sister within blaming her for my emotional experience of inadequacy, not realizing that it was me who have placed value on winning and have defined myself according to winning or losing, and thus it was me who have allowed myself to believe that if I lose I must be inadequate instead of seeing it as a point of learning and expanding within asking my sister to teach me and help me with my learning of the skill, within allowing myself to take the time and put in the effort of learning the skill - thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resent my sister because of believing myself to be less than her, instead of being grateful that I have someone to learn from and within humbleness allow myself to expand and learn through seeing her as an example

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed by my pride, as I couldn't bring myself to admit that I am less than her, even though it was clearly that she was more skillful than me at that time, thus, instead of being humble and allowing myself to learn from her and expand, I reacted within taking it personally and thus believing myself to be inferior, not allowing myself to learn and open up, but instead to build up resentment and blame towards her, within this I have dictated our relationship for the next year as I have resented her for being good at what she was doing, as well as I have dictated for myself not to push myself and try when I see effort needs to be applied, because I would go immediately into the experience of inadequacy, and thus give up before even actually trying

 

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to be self honest with myself in seeing myself as competitive and allowing myself to express myself as such, rather than suppressing the competitiveness by going into giving up and the experience of inadequacy to avoid the competition within fear of losing

 

When and as I participate in an activity and see myself as less than another, I stop myself and breathe, I support myself within breath to not allow myself to go into the experience of inadequacy, and instead I practically see what I can do in order to expand and perfect myself within this skill, I commit myself to see within common sense and practicality if this is something I was to perfect myself within and if so, to find the practical steps of doing so, without allowing myself to go into the mind, as I have realized that it is counter productive, as going into the mind within believing myself to be inadequate results instead of improving to further self limitation

 

When and as I see myself going into competition within giving value to winning the game / activity rather than enjoying myself within and as it, I stop myself and breathe, I realize nothing good can come out of it, I will either win and go into superiority and identify with that character, or I would lose and will go into inferiority and identify myself with that, thus I commit myself, when playing or participating in any activity that I see myself valuing the winning instead of the activity itself, I support myself with breath, and bring myself back to the physical and push myself to physically participate in what I am doing, while stopping my participation with the mind as competition

 

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Day 114 - Avoiding work –Part 5 - blame and manipulation - Self Forgiveness

The following blog is a continuation of my previous writings, please read them for further context if you haven’t already :
Day 110 - Avoiding Work

Day 111 – Self interest can never be “right”

Day 112 - Avoiding work –Part 3 - Self Forgiveness

Day 113 – Enjoying Work

I realize I have been blaming/judging others for believing they are trying to avoid work, not realizing I am projecting myself onto them and thus distracting myself from my own acceptance and participation within avoiding work, while believing myself to be good and self righteous while judging others for being bad and manipulative, within this I realize my experience has been directed through the constant anticipation of being manipulated, within expecting others to be as manipulative as me, instead of stopping myself within manipulation and standing up within breath and simply allow myself and push myself to do what needs to be done, and not distract me from myself through judging/blaming others for what I perceive them to be doing, within the neurotic idea that they are plotting against me


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in manipulation within hiding my self interest to avoid working, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project myself onto others within the expectation of them doing the same, and thus to blame them for trying to avoid work instead of being self honest with myself and changing myself within my starting point of believing work should be avoided, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame/judge others for that which I still participate within, and thus I commit myself to align myself with the principle of equality within give as you would like to receive and thus if I want to live in a world where people don't manipulate each other to avoid working - it must start with self first, and thus it must start with self change, and thus I commit myself to change my starting point towards work and within that I commit myself to stop myself form manipulating other for my own self interest, and only once I have changed myself I can look at others from a starting point of supporting them to see what they are participating within - but I realize I must be clear within and as myself first and stand as self trust to be sure that I am not participating within avoidance and manipulation, thus, when and as I see myself going into avoidance and manipulation in regards to work, I stop myself and breathe, I stop the back chat and bring myself back here to/as breath and walk the practical steps to get the job done, within this I commit myself to deliberately place myself in positions where normally I would want to avoid as to be able to brake the pattern and prove to myself that I am my self directive principle and that I am not limited / restricted / directed by the mind


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to within the belief that work must be avoided, to have allowed myself to manipulate and deceive those around me as I try to get out of doing work, and within that expect others to do the same as me as I project myself onto them, and thus exist within an anticipation as an alert state as if waiting to be conned/manipulated


I realize that when I judge others for being manipulative I am actually showing myself that such manipulation still exist within me, and thus I stop myself within and as breath and turn it back to myself, within allowing myself to see in the moment where I am not being self honest and actually am manipulating the situation to suit my hidden self interest


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within a constant state of anticipation, as waiting to be conned / manipulated and thus communicate to others from a starting point of self defense as I defend my self interest while I am sure the other is acting from within their own self interest and thus I create a war/competition between us, as the battle of the ego, while existing within self righteousness and believing that I am innocent and they are the manipulative ones, thus I commit myself to when I experience myself in the state of anticipation towards someone manipulating me, I stop myself and breathe, I bring myself back here to the practical physical reality and check my starting point to find where I am acting within self interest, and within this I commit myself to change my starting point and align it with what is best for all within the situation, and if I cannot find the point of self interest I commit myself to let go the point and not fight for it, because I realize it's become an ego battle, and all that will come out of it is friction and conflict, thus I take self responsibility and do not allow myself to participate and create more energy through friction and conflict and thus I stop myself in the moment from proceeding within the conversation / argument /situation


I realize that as long as I participate within self interest I will always create and exist within conflict and friction within myself and my relationships with others, because within self interest there will always be conflict of interest, within this I realize that by pushing through the self interest and not allowing myself to participate within it, and thus not allowing myself to manipulate to get my way, I will be able to establish effective communication with others and actually come to solutions that serve all as equals, thus serve me and them, as a shared interest within this shared earth on which we live on. Thus I commit myself to when I see myself participating in self interest, to stop myself within breath and to bring myself back here to the physical and equal reality, where we are all equal as life, and thus no ones interest is more important to be fulfilled than another, but rather the interest of life, as all as equal, is the only interest that is valid to peruse, and thus I commit myself to changing my starting point, time and time again, until living as what is best for all is my "nature" where I have built self trust and have let go of all the self interest which are based on personality as ego, and allow myself to be one and equal to all the is life

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Day 110 - Avoiding Work

Working - all my life I knew that working is a hassle, no one really wants to work, people work because they have to, and I have been avoiding work all my life, as much as I can, whether it's cleaning my room as a child, or apartment as I grew up, whether it's doing my home work for school, or assignments for university, whether it's holding a nine to five job or any "real" job for that matter, anything that I perceived to be a hassle, not from my own personal experience but from observing others around me as family, friends, television shows - I have tried to avoid, so in essence I never gave myself a chance to see who I am within it, I always simply defined myself within the personality of "I don't like to work".

Since I have defined myself within the "I don't like to work" personality, I have been doing what I can to avoid it, and to do so I have compromised myself, I have participated in manipulations, I have used others to do things for me - within this I expected other to experience it in the same way, so I have been suspicious and judgmental towards others as I perceive them to be avoiding work, cutting corners, slacking off, getting out of the responsibility they should be doing.

When I have been in a working environment I always was alert to make sure I am not being taken advantage of, because that's what people do, as I do, they will manipulate the situation to do as little as possible and then I will be stuck with doing all the work - and this was unacceptable - so I had to be even more manipulative to be sure I am not being coned as I am busy conning the others, to be sure that I am not doing more than anybody else, that we are equal, when in fact I really always made sure that the worst case scenario would be that we do equal work, the better scenario would be that I am the one doing less than others

So, within the belief that working is something that needs to be avoided, as a given fact, I have existed as a neurotic being, living in the anticipation of someone manipulating me and making me do all the work, which I would hate, because that's how it is - "I hate work". So I find myself looking, hunting, to catch others as they slack off and expect me to do the work, as they "innocently" give me more to do while they "sit around" - I have been interpreting people in such a way that would prove me right, I have concluded, without having the full picture, that they are doing exactly that which I would like to do, and then I judge and blame them and resent them for it. Talk about hypocrisy…

The funny thing is, that when I give myself a chance to explore work, I find that I actually enjoy it, when I allow myself to step out of the character of "I don't like working" I find that through working I expand, I'm alive, I'm learning, I'm contributing, I'm in action - I mean, anything can be defined as work, anything that one decides to do, any responsibility one choses to take on, and it's just about how one perceive it once the decision has been made - it can be seen as a hassle or it can be simply done as a decision, without any emotional/energetic charge to it - simply doing what needs to be done, while breathing, and living, and even enjoying it - I mean, if it needs to be done, and if I am going to do it, then I might as well take it in, and enjoy myself - I would be crazy not to, it is insane to do something while going on in my mind about how I am screwed, and how I hate it, and basically to have a pity party in one's mind, instead of being here, in the physical reality, where things need to be done for things to happen, and to enjoy the fact that I can do them, I can contribute - I am a part of this world, I am breathing this air - why would I want to give back whatever and whenever I can?

So, I've been living within an idea that I don't like work and I should try to do as little as possible, and within this I believe everybody wants to do as little as possible so I look for their manipulation, and blame them that every thing they do is to manipulate and get out of doing the work, within this I haven't allowed myself to see that self honestly I am doing that very thing - obviously this has been causing conflict and friction in my life, within myself as an inner experience, and within my relationships, as I have blamed and played the "fare game"

I realize I must align myself with what is best for all life as myself, thus, I need to change my starting point towards work, I realize I have 24 hours in a day no matter what I do in it - what does it matter if I work or sit around or watch a TV series - I am here and breathing through any activity, the only difference between them is a point of preference based on a value system that I have never questioned and simply accepted from my environment - and I've seen that when I stop the back chat about not liking work I find that I actually enjoy working, so I need to clear out the idea of trying to get out of work, to clear out the back chat so that I can be here as I do whatever is required to be done.

Within this, I realize that I have spending lots of time/energy within thoughts trying to figure out what others are doing, how long are they doing it and making sure that I don't do any more than anyone else, and then, when I catch others within what I perceive/interpret to be slacking off, I use it as a justification to slack off myself -"is they are slacking off, why should I do all the work, that's not fare, I'll show them, I won't do as much either" - instead of standing one and equal within myself and honoring myself within the agreement I have made to do the task at hand regardless of what anyone else is doing - it's not about them, it's about me - if I am in a situation that I obviously chose to be in, to honor and respect myself would be to do what I have committed myself to do, and not create back chat which just create conflict and friction within myself and my relationships with those around me- if I've committed to do something then that's what I'll do, even if every one else is not, and if I need to work a little harder or if more time is necessary to complete a task, I'll do it - not because anybody is taking advantage of me, but because I have made a directive decision to do something and I will not dishonor myself as life by not standing one and equal to/as my decision - so I mustn't compare myself and define who I will be according to who others are, especially when I judge them and blame them and basically project all of my shit onto them, and then use my perception of their behavior as justification to do the exact same thing I am judging the for.

I realize that the only way that I will ever live as self honor/respect/dignity is if I actually honor myself and not do that which I judge, live as a living example of "give as you would like to receive", "do onto others as you would like being done onto you", love thy neighbor as yourself" - and it start with honoring my own commitments, towards myself and towards others and simply do what I said I would do, while simply breathing, one breath at a time, and doing what can be done in each breath - no back chat, no energy, no reaction, no judgment, no comparison, no competition, no blame - just living as breath and walking the physical in the most practical way, within directing myself and honoring my own self direction.

Within this construct of not liking to work, there is another point of justification to not enjoying work, and it is within another self created personality, as I have defined myself as someone that likes working together and doesn't like working alone -I realize that this is self limitation - if I am doing something it shouldn't matter what anybody else is doing, yes, it's nice to have company and work together can have it's benefits - working together can be a preference, but that's all it is, a preference, it shouldn't be a point of self limitation as self sabotage - it should direct my experience of myself, I shouldn't allow myself to be directed by a preference - I realize that all it is, is a preference -so when it happens in such a way - cool, but within realizing I am here and stable either way - if I don't get my preference met and I end up working alone, that should be just as cool - nothing of such a sort should move me within energy and reaction, I mustn't allow it to direct me - I have seen and experienced for myself that the outflow of allowing myself to be directed by preferences instead of directing myself as what is best for all within practicality is destructive - why would I allow it?

I will continue with this point in my next blog
Thanks

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Day 95 - Will there ever be Peace in the Middle East

Within my process of developing critical thinking, I have been looking, in the past few days, at what has been going on is Israel/Gaza. This is what I found thus far as an overview of the situation. In the next blogs I will further my investigation to go deeper into each point, for more specificity and clarity.

important documentaries to watch

• why we fight

• Peace, Propaganda and the Promised Land

A few days ago a war started up again in Israel, the Israelis are shooting at the Palestinians and the Palestinians are shooting at the Israelis, both sides are justifying themselves with the common fraise we all are very much familiar with from childhood "but they started it".

I was surprised to see the comments and talk-backs coming from the Israeli side, so much hatred towards the Palestinians, completely disregarding the fact that they are living human beings who deserve to live a life of fulfillment and security, as we all do, as any living creature does, but the fear and hatred has been brainwashed into our minds through the media to such an extent, that the fact that there are human beings, children, on the other side, is completely overlooked. not to mention the un balanced forces comparing the strong Israeli army of and the Palestinians as the Israelis have air force and defense methods while the Palestinians are basically bare and exposed…

Israel is coming close to election time, and all the politicians are using this war as part of their campaign, one must ask oneself, how much of the timing of this war was accidental or specifically planed to manipulate the people, to get in more votes… through what I see being posted on Facebook, and talk backs on articles, it seams like most of the Israeli people are supporting the war and are applauding it, all are so proud of the Israeli army, and showing off the new weapons.

Now here is another interesting point, the Israeli weapon industry had developed this new war toy, the "Iron Dome" and has been using it proudly in this war to protect the Israeli people from the Palestinian's missiles, it seams to me that this war has been made into a marketing event, showing off the new gadget and testing it out in a live battle, for all the world to see - on the first page of CNN website, they didn't discuss the war, they discussed the "Iron Dome", the new toy that Israel is so proud of, like a free advertisement campaign for the potential buyers to see

Another point to consider, that was mentioned in the Israeli news is that the Hamas leader, Ahmed Jabari, that was assassinated, which is what got this war started, was actually in the process of negotiating for a peaceful settlement, not to say that it would necessarily have brought about peace in the middle east, but it's a certainty that without talking and negotiating, no peace will ever be an option - so it looks like Jabari was assassinated to prevent any peaceful deliberation, apparently peace cannot be accepted because war is economically a good decision, so peace would not be a wise economical choice

Which is another crazy point, I mean, already so much of the Israeli budget goes to defense and military, it's not like the war is actually making the country's budget any bigger with a greater money flow for what actually matters to bring about a worthy living experience for the people, by supporting education/health/infrastructure, no, the budget goes mostly to the military / security, thus only the few will actually benefit financially from this war, and the rest of the people pay taxes, while they have to find shelter to hide from the fire

I for one, do not support this war. I support communication and negotiation, I support doing whatever it takes to create allies and not enemies, I mean, the situation has been escalating and escalating for years, because we are not stopping it, because we are only blaming the other side, not trusting the possibility that peace can ever be achieved, and not for one moment taking responsibility in seeing how we, on each side, are the cause of the problem and thus are responsible for the situation, to find what we can do to make a difference, instead of only blaming and pointing fingers and waiting for the other side to make a move

So what is this war really about?

It's about who will get elected, because the Israeli people have been brainwashed with fear and blame to such an extent that when there is war they see it as a good thing - so here is the construct of blame and fear

It's about money, as any war is about money, and in this case specifically, it's that much more clear, due to this new piece of equipment that is being publicly displayed and promoted - and here the construct of greed

I will continue investigating this point in my next blog

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Day 73 - Spitefulness - Part 5 – Self Commitments

This blog is a follow up from my previous blog

Day 69 - Friendship - Part 11 – Spitefulness – Part 1

Day 70 - Spitefulness - Part 2 - Self Forgiveness

Day 71 - Spitefulness - Part 3 - Self Commitments

Day 72 – Spitefulness – Part 4 – More Characters – Self Forgiveness

Blame – Annoyance – Superiority – Inferiority - Worthlessness

I commit myself to stop myself as thoughts, to stop myself within a self directive decision as not allowing myself to go into my thoughts as I have realized their evil/abusive nature, I commit myself to breathe and bring myself back here time and time again, for as long as it takes, until I have stopped my addiction to thoughts/feelings/emotions as the mind, I commit myself to stop the energetic addiction of the mind through stopping myself as the thoughts coming up in my mind as justifications/blame/spitefulness within realizing that all these mind components are designed to generate the energy within me, within self interest to feed my addiction, to justify myself so that I never have to change, I realize this will be a process of withdrawal as it is with stopping any addiction thus I commit myself to push through and continue walking, as stopping myself until I am no more directed by the self interest of the mind

I commit myself to investigate any/all spiteful thoughts I have allowed myself to participate within, and within that to investigate all points where I still fall in the pattern/addiction of spitefulness, and within that to find the actual source as driving force that I have allowed myself to be directed by, and stop myself from allowing myself to continue being directed like a puppet on strings, I commit myself to utilize breath as self support and within this to always direct myself back to the physical as what is actually here as life, and not allow myself to be distracted/tempted by the realm of the mind, as I know it's a one way road to hell in the sense of - through allowing myself to separate myself from myself as life, through allowing myself to participate within/as the mind as thoughts/feelings/emotions, through not being directive principle in every moment, I have allowed myself to be nasty/spiteful/evil and thus due to actually knowing and being aware of all that I am beneath my mask and act of ignorance there builds up shame/guilt/regret for not stopping - thus within not stopping, I realize I will create my own personal hell of shame/guilt/regret, because beneath this lie, I know I am life, I know my thoughts are running around within the self interest and disregarding myself as life and all as life as equals - thus I commit myself to stop

I commit myself to show that all thoughts are evil in nature, and all thoughts are motivated by self interest, and that within allowing ourselves to participate in thoughts, within allowing ourselves to participate in the spiteful back chat of our hidden mind, we are actually creating this world as evil/abusive/spiteful, and thus we are each responsible to stop ourselves within/as our participation of/within the mind, to be able to walk the first step in bringing about a world that supports life, as well as walking the first step of birthing ourselves as beings that are worthy of life

I commit myself to investigate within myself all points of blame, because I realized that all blame is me hiding from me as not taking self responsibility for that which I am in fact responsible for, I commit myself to stopping myself within breath when I see myself going into blame and to breathe as long as it takes to stop the blame possession from taking over, I coming myself to not allow myself to go into spitefulness based in blame because I realize this is deceptive act getting me to lose track of what really matters which is my responsibility, by placing it on someone else and using that as justification to poison myself and existence as a whole with my spiteful thoughts/words/deeds, thus bringing myself to a point of evil, of acting out the very thing I blame another for, I commit myself to build myself as self integrity through stopping myself from participating in that which I blame others for, which is that which is unacceptable as it is based in abuse/evil/spitefulness

I commit myself to show that any form of blame is done within spitefulness, within placing self's responsibility on another and thus spiting self through deliberately abdicating self responsibility and hiding from self within separation through participation within the mind as thoughts such as blame, within this I commit myself to show that participating with blame is directly accepting abuse to exist within participating in the spiteful thoughts towards another within realizing that spiteful actions come from and are a direct result of spiteful thoughts and thus to ensure spitefulness/abuse stop we must stop all thoughts

I commit myself to use annoyance as a gift, as a tool for self realization and thus self support, to through annoyance see who I am allowing myself to be and what I have allowed to have directive principle over me in becoming annoyed by external trigger, and thus within realizing the points of trigger to see what I am actually showing myself within myself, and thus I commit myself to investigate all points of annoyance and atop myself within/as breath when I see myself going into annoyance as to not allow the experience of annoyance to direct me, and thus to become the directive principle of/as myself, directing myself within the principle of equality and oneness as what is best for all

I commit myself to humble myself within/as breath, when I see myself going into superiority, within realizing that superiority is a survival mechanism I have accepted as myself to cover up the experience of inferiority I have allowed myself to exist as, and thus I commit myself to use points of superiority to show myself back to myself, to allow myself to see the point I believe I am better than another and within that the point I fear being less than another and to within seeing these points to forgive myself for accepting myself to exist within the specific polarity of more/less within forgiving the value system I am basing this polarity on, within realizing that any polarity is of the mind, within this I commit myself to investigate the value systems I have allowed myself to participate within and accept as valid due to realizing that all values that are enforced by society are in fact based on self interest and the deception within living as an accepted norm within competition and lacking any self honesty as self expression, and further more lacking the principle of life as equality and oneness

I commit myself to stop myself within/as breath when I see myself going into inferiority towards another and to investigate the point within writing myself to freedom through self forgiveness as to free myself from the perceived inferiority as I have realized it is limiting me and diminishing me and has no value within my process except keeping me enslaved to/as the mind within limitation, within this I commit myself to if/when I see myself going into spitefulness towards the being I am experiencing myself inferior to, to stop myself at the moment, to not allow myself to participate within spiteful thoughts/words/actions because I know this is self deception and creating conflict and abuse and in any way doesn't support myself nor the other as life within our process of life, I commit myself to investigate points of inferiority and to bring myself to a point of equality within myself and existence as a whole

I commit myself to stop participating within/as worthlessness, returning to the physical within/as breath, within realizing that the experience of being worthless is a back door of taking self responsibility within believing myself to be a victim of life, thus not allowing myself to direct myself as life, one and equal to/as life, thus I commit myself to show that any experience of self worthlessness is self manipulation keeping self trapped within/as the mind, a trap created by self and thus can be ended by self, within realizing that I am responsible for/as myself and thus I have the opportunity in every breath to live a life a worth through establishing myself as a being that support myself, that supports all other beings in my immediate environment, that support all life as equals - that is a life worth living, a life that holds no regret within the self trust that self is doing all within the principle of supporting life, and walking life breath by breath, and thus I commit myself to walk breath by breath, and to direct myself to support myself within self honesty, within stopping the mind/thoughts/spitefulness and returning to myself as the physical, as reality, as life

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Day 72 – Spitefulness – Part 4 – More Characters – Self Forgiveness

This blog is a follow up from my previous blog

Day 69 - Friendship - Part 11 – Spitefulness – Part 1

Day 70 - Spitefulness - Part 2 - Self Forgiveness

Day 71 - Spitefulness - Part 3 - Self Commitments

Just to be clear with myself as to what i am writing about: the definition of “spite” from online dictionary - Spite - Malicious ill will prompting an urge to hurt or humiliate.

I am continuing with the character of spitefulness and how I have created it through using it as an outflow of participation within other characters, on tonight's blog I will address the following characters that I found I fall into and in turn accept myself as spiteful

 

 

Blame – Annoyance – Superiority – Inferiority – Worthlessness

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in spitefulness wither thoughts/words/actions/behavior, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in a deliberate harmful/abusive thought/word/deed not taking into consideration the consequences of such participation within myself, the other and existence as a whole, within not realizing that by participating within/as spitefulness I am giving my allowance for all spitefulness to exist within the principle of as within so without, and thus by not allowing myself to stop myself as spitefulness I allow the construct of spitefulness to continue everywhere, thus I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to push/will myself to stop myself as spitefulness due to realizing that the responsibility goes much further beyond my privet experience, there is an outflow that effects everything and everyone, and thus I am responsible to stop myself or live with the regret for not stopping and allowing it/myself to continue

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to when/as I go into the blame character within believing that someone had done me wrong, or had done something that they shouldn't have, or that they are responsible for some form of consequence that is not in my best interest, I allow myself to go into spitefulness towards them, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use blame as a justification for me to be spiteful towards another being, through believing they did something wrong within judging them in my mind and while accepting the blame/judgment I then allow myself to participate in harmful/abusive thoughts/words/actions towards them, as allowing myself a form of poetic justice within believing they are to blame and thus I spite them as punishment/revenge/deliberate consequences

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become annoyed by others for various reasons and within becoming annoyed at them, within believing that they are the cause of my annoyance, within judging them for not being as I wish them to be for me not to get annoyed, within justifying myself within accepting the annoyance due to how they are / how they express themselves what they are doing, I then allow myself to spite them in my mind as thoughts of wanting to hard them, wanting them to experience the uncomfortability/pain I am experiencing, not allowing myself to see for one moment that I am the only one responsible for my reactions/feelings/emotions, and thus if I am experiencing annoyance I must look within self and investigate why/how I have created this experience within/as myself, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to investigate the point of annoyance and go automatically to spitefulness while not allowing myself to face myself and bring myself to a point of change within taking self responsibility of/for myself in every thought/word/action/experience within/as me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within spitefulness from a starting point of superiority, where I have defined myself as better then the other person and thus experience myself as superior due to specific criteria, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, when such people that I experience myself as superior to, do something that justifies my superiority, as in proves my superiority to be correct, I go into spitefulness and allow myself to spite the in my thoughts/words/actions, where I, through expressing spitefulness towards them within or without, show to myself/others how much more I am then the other being through allowing myself to spite them as it is interpreted by me as a form of power, thus proving my superiority

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within/as spitefulness towards people that I experience myself as inferior to within allowing myself to compare myself to them and exist within constant competition with them of which I always perceive myself as the loser, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame them within myself within believing that they are doing it to me, and thus I allow myself to spite them to show myself within my mind that I am able to hurt them and thus am not actually inferior

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience myself as worthless, and within that experience being bad/negative I want to stop it within self interest, and thus I turn to spitefulness as a point of showing myself that I have worth through being able to hurt others, thus validating myself as worth living through my ability of hurting/abusing another as if in a way the ability to have an effect on another is proof that I am alive, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to allow the mind experience of unworthiness to bring me to a position that I don't care about what harm/abuse I create as long as I have an effect as that will prove to me that I have value

Day 71 - Spitefulness - Part 3 - Self Commitments

This blog is a follow up from my previous blog

Day 69 - Friendship - Part 11 – Spitefulness – Part 1

Day 70 - Spitefulness - Part 2 - Self Forgiveness

Today I am walking the corrective statements on the self forgiveness I wrote on yesterday's blog, regarding the characters that I have been participating within and that have been the source/justification for the spiteful character

I commit myself to continue investigating/forgiving the point of spitefulness that I have allowed myself to exist as, and to through writing, self forgiveness, corrective statement, walk myself into correcting, through supporting myself within/as breath as I see myself go into the character of spitefulness wither within thoughts as back chat, words or deeds, thus I commit myself, through writing and exposing to myself the dimension of spitefulness, to build up my awareness of myself as to be able to see the character of spiteful and stop it before I actually act on it, and continue investigating the point until I have walked it and have stopped myself from all/any participation within/as the character of spitefulness, as it is completely unacceptable and only designed to create conflict within and without as a way to tempt me and others to participate within/as energy which is designed to consume the physical as ourselves and to separate us from being here as the physical as life

I commit myself to investigate myself within/as competition as I realize that there is no justification for competition as it creates a world of winners and losers and thus can never be of actually of support to all as equals, thus any participation within competition is by definition destructive/abusive/evil, and thus I commit myself to stop myself through applying the desteni tools, and within that I commit myself to when seeing myself going into spitefulness within the character of competition to stop myself within/as breath as i have realized that it is a dead end in terms of nothing supportive will come out of it, it is a loop of spitefulness that ends with just more spitefulness and thus pointless and unnecessary

I commit myself to stop myself within/as breath when/as I see myself going into the character of arrogance, I commit myself to further investigate the character of arrogance as to be able to see it's dimensions and within seeing allowing myself to stop myself at earlier and earlier stages of my participation/creation within/as this character, within this, I commit myself to stop myself within/as breath when/as I see myself going into spitefulness through the character of arrogance, as I have seen, realized and understood that it is a construct/design that I am participating within to create an energetic reaction within me and the other, thus supporting the mind as it feeds off of what is actually here as the physical, I commit myself to stop myself from participating within/as spitefulness/arrogance, because I realize I have been doing so to present/experience myself as powerful, as a cover up of the actual inner experience of inferiority/weakness that I have created myself as and have allowed myself to exist as, within this I commit myself to, any time I see myself going into/participation within arrogance/sinfulness to stop myself within breath and take a look at what am I trying to hide from myself within the actual experience of myself of inferiority/worthlessness , I commit myself to investigate why/how I have defined myself as more/better than the other through which I have allowed myself to believe myself to be more than them, because I realize that it is merely a mind construct/design created by myself through copying from those around me, within trying to present myself as more than, instead of realizing equality and living as what is bets for all within support for all as equals

I commit myself to further investigate the point of impatience within me, within the character of impatience I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into and express myself as spitefulness, not realizing that the point of impatience is created by myself within/as myself and thus acting in spitefulness indicates that I am blaming the other for creating the experience of impatience within me, thus not taking self responsibility for the totality of myself within realizing that no one else can create an experience within me but me, so within this I commit myself to when/as I see myself going into impatience I stop myself within/as breath, I bring myself back here to the physical body which is the reality of myself, I allow myself to take the point back to self and look at what have I allowed to trigger within me the character of impatience and within seeing the point of trigger to forgive myself for it and let it go, to bring myself to a point of total self directive principle as not allowing any external trigger to direct me as the experience of myself, within this I commit myself to stop the link between impatience and spitefulness because I realize that through it I am creating another layer within myself as separation of/from myself, so I breathe, I stop, I investigate, until I am walking, clear, as breath, here, as life.

I commit myself to further investigate the point of jealousy, I realize that any jealousy within me is a projection of self judgment onto another within spitefulness, and this is unacceptable, I commit myself to stop myself within/as breath when/as I see myself going into the back chat/thoughts of jealousy where I compare myself to another and perceive them to be/have all that I want to be/have, within this I commit myself to if/when I see myself going into jealousy, I stop and breathe, I allow myself to investigate the point of accepted self judgment within/as myself, I realize it is not about the other being, they are merely a reflection/mirror supporting me to see/face myself as who I have accepted and allowed myself to be and exist as, thus I commit myself to realize this point of jealousy as support, as it is what is here and thus I can work with it in seeing another layer/pattern/behavior/character of myself, and thus I am grateful for any experience of jealousy that come up and commit myself to walk through it within writing/self forgiveness/corrective statements to see what am I jealous of, what am I showing myself what have I been hiding from myself through automatically going into spitefulness and not staying with my focus on myself but diverting my focus on the other which is simply here as support as a mirror - always showing me myself, if I allow myself to open my eyes and see

I commit myself to further investigate the point/character of revenge within me, I commit myself to stop myself within/as breath when I see myself going into the character of revenge within thoughts/words/actions as expressed within the spiteful character, within realizing that any point of revenge is created through blame and abdication of self responsibility within allowing abuse, within this I commit myself to stopping myself within the desire to hurt another within spitefulness/abuse due to the justification that they deserve it as revenge because I believe they have done me wrong, within this I commit myself to stop myself from judging others due to realizing that my reaction towards them and allowing myself to blame them is a point of not facing myself within self honesty, within this I realize that I must focus on myself and walk my own process first, that means that each and every reaction I have towards another is an opportunity for me to come closer to myself, so to speak, and allow my to see more of me as who I have created myself as and have been hiding this creation from myself, within this I commit myself to stop myself as revenge from a starting point of realizing that I do not know/see the entirety of the other being, thus do not see the big picture of who they are, and within this through revenge spitefulness I am allowing myself to limited them into/as a one dimensional idea I have created about them and within this idea have decided upon myself to revenge their actions, instead of simply stopping, breathing, bringing myself back to myself and working out my shit before I preaching/judging others, within this I realize that only through first seeing/facing myself and recognizing the entire patterns I have created and have been participating within will I even be able to actually support another to seeing themselves through being a living example of living what is best for all, including that which I currently judge and want to revenge, only once I can live as equal to all that I perceive as evil, and thus allow myself to see the evil within me, can I support another to see the evil within themselves, I commit myself to walk my own process, until I have proven to myself self stability

I commit myself to stop myself within/as breath when I see memories of others being spiteful towards me start coming up as a self justification paving the way for the spitefulness to follow, within this I commit myself to stop the memories and not allow myself to go into them, and believe them, I have realize that the memory is tainted with the experience I allowed myself to have in that moment and within that have placed the blame on another instead of taking self responsibility in the very moment the event occurred, and thus the memory is not valid because it has been stored within a starting point of self dishonesty, thus I commit myself to stop the memory and forgive myself for holding onto it, until I am clear and am walking within/as breath and not being interrupted by memories of the past, coming to hunt me and create conflict/friction within/as myself and my relationships

I commit myself to investigate the point of limitation within allowing myself to believe that another being can limit me in any way, not realizing that any experience of limitation is self created and thus only I am responsible for it, within this I commit myself to when I see myself becoming spiteful towards another for perceiving them to be limiting me I stop myself and breath, I bring myself back here and look at reality for what it is and show myself until I actually get it and integrate it as myself that no one is actually limiting me but me, and within believing another is limiting me I am actually showing myself points/character of inferiority that I have allowed myself to exist as, and thus I commit myself to investigate the points within self honesty as only through seeing the specifics of each point will I be able to free myself from the limitations I have created myself as, as the mind, and within showing myself the self created limitation I can take direction of/as myself and stop being directed by/as the mind as limitation/inferiority

I commit myself to stopping myself as the character of blame because I realize it is a self manipulation tactic to keep me from taking self responsibility for/as myself in every moment within realizing that only I am responsible for myself, and in a grater scale responsible for everything in existence as myself, and thus I commit myself to stop blame within/as breath because as long as I blame I am not allowing myself to see the real true evil nature of myself as I turn the focus on others to carry the blame instead of looking at it practically within common sense and seeing what is my responsibility of/in regards to the situation

I commit myself to walk the point of spitefulness until I am clear and do not participate within it any more, I realize this will take time, as it took many years for me to design myself as the character and thus I realize the many layers/dimensions this character holds within/as it, within/as myself, and thus I commit myself to walk humbly, patiently, slowly, forgiving myself for point by point by point, while allowing myself to go into all the layers/characters/acceptances of weakness/inferiority/worthlessness/fear that I have allowed myself to exist as and thus to direct me - no more, I commit myself to through walking this process within utilizing the tools provided of writing, self forgiveness and commitment statements, to walk myself free of the limitations/beliefs I have created as myself, to stop myself as the religion of self I have allowed myself to exist as, to stand up as life, to breathe, to acknowledge my physical body and existence as a whole, and to walk until it is done, until I am no more reacting from an automated response program, until I am no longer participating in anything that is not supporting all as life as equals, until I am here in every breath, within self trust, walking what is best for all and living as a living example of life

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Day 58 - Blame Character - Part 8 - Society's Value System - Self Commitments

continue from previous blogs:

Day 51 - Blame character – Part 1

Day 52 - Blame character - Part 2 - Reacting to Tonality - Self Forgiveness

Day 53 - Blame character - Part 3 - Reacting to Tonality - Self Commitments

Day 54 - Blame Character - Part 4 - Being Repeatedly Attacked – Self Forgiveness

Day 55 - Blame Character - Part 5 - Being Repeatedly Attacked - Self Commitments

Day 56 - Blame Character - Part 6 – Enslaving Myself

Day 57 - Blame Character - Part 7 - Society's Value System - Self Forgiveness

I commit myself to investigate the ideal image I have created in my mind, within realizing that I have accepted as myself a social value system regardless of the abuse/harm/separation it entails within it, and thus I commit myself to investigate it for what it is and stop myself from participating within it

I commit myself to stop myself within breath and ring myself back here to the physical body, when/as I see myself participating within the desire to be seen in a specific way, as I have realized that it is within participation and acceptance of the social value system, and I commit myself to stop myself from participating within it, instead I commit myself to stand as life, and support myself as life, and all life as one and equal, not allowing any value system to separate and define that which is unconditionally life

I commit myself to stop myself within the desire to be seen in a specific light as good/caring and so on, and instead to dedicate myself to actual physical change, to actually being and living that which is worthy, that which supports all life, and not to settle for anything less than that, as an ideal picture that doesn't not value life but is what it is, a one dimensional picture, because I realize that is self compromise and within it compromising all life as a whole

I commit myself stop defining myself in comparison to an ideal I have accepted through what I learnt from society, and to instead allow myself to see myself as who I actually am, as who I have created myself as, and to then change myself step by step through writing, self forgiveness, and corrective statements, because I have realized that only through specific investigation of how I have created myself, and through taking responsibility for who I am within/through writing self forgiveness, can I change myself as what is best for all within supporting myself as LIFE and not as a picture presentation idea as the ideal I have desired myself to be

I commit myself to expose and show society's value system as the abusive/separating system that it is, for accepting and allowing to define and separate those that have the skills/characters defined by society as worthy and those that don't, within this I commit myself to show through recreating myself as the living example, that for a society to thrive we do not require a value system based in separation, but rather to live within self honesty as what is best for all, and allow/appreciate self expression in any/all forms, not defined as good/bad by a value system, but only within the consideration of what is best for all within self honesty

I commit myself to stop myself from participating within/as separation through accepting society's value system as defining people as worthy or not depending on their skills and characters, within this, I commit myself to stop myself as the judgment that I have allowed myself to exist as, and thus to investigate all points of judgment within myself that I have accepted as myself due to my acceptance and participation within society's value system

I commit myself to stop myself from participating within judgment/separation towards myself and towards others, because I have realized that judging people as worthy or not worthy based on society's value system doesn't take into consideration that we, as society, haven't allowed all to have the effective tools required to live a dignified/fulfilled life, and thus by not allowing all beings equal education/financial security/health care, we are creating a platform where there will always be those that are judged as unworthy so that we, the elite, can define ourselves as worthy in relation to them and based on the value system that we have created, and feel "good" about ourselves, within this I realize that all society's value system is in fact a function of the elite, used to separate themselves from the rest, the inferior, the unworthy, and through this value system to define themselves as worthy and thus justify the fact that so many people are living an unworthy/undignified life, and yet we do nothing about it because it is justified through our value system

I commit myself to stop myself within/as breath when I see myself going into fear of not being accepted by society, because I realize that by fear of not being accepted I am in fact agreeing and participating with society's value system, and thus since I have realized that society's value system is a scam made to create separation and to justify inequality I stop myself from participating within it, I commit myself to through writing, self forgiveness, and corrective statements, to free myself from society's value system and create myself as w worthy living being that actually supports all life equality and does not accept any form of separation, within and without

I commit myself to use the fear of judgment as a gift, to able myself to see all points of judgment within me that I have accepted as myself, and through allowing myself to see/face myself as the fear of judgment to clear myself one point at a time from all accepted/allowed judgment, until I am here, clear of all judgment and free from fear, within this I commit myself to investigate any/all points of reaction within me in relation to fear of judgment/self judgment/judging others within accepting society's value system as a guide line, and within this I commit myself to stop myself from participating in society's value system, and to direct myself as what is best for all equally, within/as breath

I commit myself to stop myself within/as breath when I see myself judging others as not worthy based on society's value system I have accepted as my own and have been participating with, I commit myself to when/as I see myself fall into judging others I stop and breath, I realize that any judgment I project onto others is a reflection/projection of my own fear of being judged within the point that I am busy with judging, and thus I commit myself to investigate the points of self judgment and to free myself through self forgiveness and accept myself and all equally as life

I commit myself to stop myself from acting within the limitation of society's value system and to allow myself to express myself unconditionally without fear, I realize this will take a process to walk through, thus I commit myself to when I see myself resisting from expressing myself unconditionally to investigate the point until I stand as myself in every breath, stable, here

I commit myself to walking a process of self acceptance, within stopping all self judgment, through writing, self forgiveness, and corrective statement, and through the realization that all participation within/as self judgment is limiting me from actually living, from being here within/as the physical, within/as breath, and this must stop, thus I commit myself to stop, and stand up as self acceptance, as life, within this I commit myself to stop myself from the dependency towards society that I have created as myself and to will myself to walk alone, stable here, within breath, through building self trust and self intimacy, to realize that all I require to accept me is me.

 

For Further Support, Please check out Links:

Desteni

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