Day 55 - Blame Character - Part 5 - Being Repeatedly Attacked - Self Commitments

continue from previous blogs:

Day 51 – Blame character – Part 1

Day 52 - Blame character - Part 2 - Reacting to Tonality - Self Forgiveness

Day 53 - Blame character - Part 3 - Reacting to Tonality - Self Commitments

Day 54 - Blame Character - Part 4 - Being Repeatedly Attacked – Self Forgiveness

I commit myself to stop accepting abuse as a way of life, thus I commit myself to walk my process of self realization within the starting point of respecting/honoring life and not accepting and allowing any abuse to exist, within this I commit myself to investigate and stop any/all abuse I have been participating with and creating within my mind towards myself, as a first step of stopping the abuse that exist in the world as a whole, as being a living example of change within the starting point of honoring myself as life and all life.

I commit myself to as long as I experience myself as being abused, to continue investigating within self honesty the points of reaction within myself as I have realized that I am responsible for all/any reaction/emotions/feelings I experience and thus to, through self honest investigation, stop myself from accepting and allowing myself to react within the mind, to bring myself back here as life within breath in every moment

I commit myself , when experiencing myself being attacked, to stop myself and breathe, to evaluate the situation within common sense and consideration of the physical reality, and not allow myself to exist within/as the mind as interpretations/thoughts/ideas as coping mechanism to defend my various characters, within this I commit myself, when realizing I am experiencing myself being repeatedly attacked, to stop myself within breath, through realizing that I am creating this to myself through my participation within/as the mind, and thus abusing myself, within this I commit myself to take a physical action to stop/solve the self abuse, where I firstly write myself out within self forgiveness to clear point out, AND if I find it to be necessary I commit myself to communication with the other being that is part of the situation, in order to, through communication, build a base for supportive/effective relationship

I commit myself to support myself through breath, where I see myself participating within/as the mind as blame and self victimizing, to stop myself as I realize this is a path of self abuse, I breathe, I bring myself back here to my physical body, and I apply common sense to find a practical solution through writing about the point within myself and through communication with the other

I commit myself to, instead of using a coping mechanism such as desensitizing myself or losing track of what is important, to support myself through writing, as I open up the point within/as myself to see how I have created/participated within the situation and to through the desteni tools of self forgiveness and correcting statements to teach myself how to direct myself within such situations to avoid falling into the same patterns of self abuse again

I commit myself to not allow myself to desensitize, where I have accepted myself as a victim and desensitizing is my only solution, no! I commit myself to bringing myself back here through/as my senses, and thus I commit myself , if/when I see myself go back to the coping mechanism of desensitizing myself, to stop myself within breath, I breathe, and look at the situation through my physical senses, and apply common sense, and build my self trust through each moment of actually looking at, and experiencing the physical reality. Within this I commit myself to use the experience of being repeatedly attacked as a gift that is showing me that I have distant myself from myself far enough and it is time to get back home, to myself, and thus I use it as a guide line showing me the way back to myself

I commit myself to be here, as stopping memories of the past, stopping myself within breath when I see myself participating within/as past memories, I commit myself to through a process of writing and bringing up memories within self forgiveness, to stop using memories of the past as justifications for my reactions, as showing me that I am right because it happened once before, No! I have realized that participating in past memories is a construct, separating me from myself into the mind where I cannot be trusted, thus I stop myself, I breathe, I bring myself back here, again and again, until I am no longer directed by memories

I commit myself to use blame as a gift showing me where I have fallen into the mind, thus when I see myself participate within back chat as blame I stop myself immediately and breathe, I remind myself that only I am responsible for my shitty experience and thus I am responsible for changing it, i realize it will take a process and is up to me through dedication and consistency to see it through, thus I commit myself to learn and understand how I have created the situation/experience through self dedication within applying the tools of writing/self forgiveness/self corrective statements, to set myself free of the chains I have put on myself through my acceptances and allowances, and to bring myself back to self as a living being, within/as breath, here as life.

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day 21 - self judgment

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself for not writing instead of sitting down and simply writing as self support within self direction

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself for not applying self forgiveness and thus go into my mind and feel bad about myself instead of stopping the thoughts and judgments and direct myself within and as self support as applying self forgiveness

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself in comparison to others in the group for not keeping up with them in the journey of life blogs and thus exist within a mind made competition, instead of seeing the self direction writing they are applying and equalize myself to them - no judgment needed, all required is to simply start writing

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed the comparison and competition I have been participating in to make me out as the ‘loser’ of these made up competitions I have created in my mind, and within already judging myself as the loser I do not push myself to participate and walk as I have already lost in my mind, instead of realizing this is not a competition and all are walking equally for and as self, thus to realize that I can in every moment change myself as the starting point of myself and start applying myself here for self, to stop the comparison and competition as I see it is counterproductive and is being used by me as an excuse to not even start and push myself due to having already failed

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to go on in my mind as back chat “I will write when I have time” or “I will start writing when I am at the farm” instead of taking the time here and applying myself. I forgive myself for not realizing the self dishonesty of procrastinating writing as self sabotage, creating more and more points to judge myself for later, instead of stopping all together and within breath starting fresh, as self support, here.

I forgive myself for not seeing that by judging myself I am creating a time loop of procrastinating my process application as self forgiveness due to the belief I have already failed within comparison/competition to other, and in turn creating a platform for myself to not stand up within and as myself and not take responsibility for myself and thus allow myself to continue as I have created myself as the mind, not considering the consequences of my actions/thoughts/reactions

I commit myself to stopping self judgment within and as breath and with the support of writing and self forgiveness as a tool to expose myself within self honesty, and to show myself the constructs and methods I have been using upon myself to keep me from actually seeing myself and thus not allowing myself to take responsibility

I commit myself to walking day by day, and within the daily walk to stop self judgment within and as breath whenever I see myself falling in the constructs/characters of self judgment.

I commit myself to when going into self judgment to write about it as self support in order to not allow it to direct me and to support myself to see the self sabotage I am participating in, in order to stop and stand as self direction and take responsibility for myself and who/what I have accepted and allowed myself to be/become so that I can change myself with aligning myself with what is best for all

I commit myself to use self judgment as a tool for self support through writing my experience and investigating how/when/why I am allowing self judgment to direct me, so that I can stop myself as the mind and direct myself as life within self trust as what is best for all