Showing posts with label doubt. Show all posts
Showing posts with label doubt. Show all posts
Thursday, February 21, 2013
for context please read my previous blogs:
Day 160 – A life changing Decision
Day 161 - Shame - I've done nothing with my life
Day 162 - Running ahead of myself
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to run ahead of myself, as to project into the future, in my mind ideas / imaginations / fears, to then believe them as reality while not realizing that reality is here, in the physical and not a projection of a future that hasn't happened, and is a mere reflection of my imagination / fears / desires.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to run ahead of myself as instead of remaining here in breath - remaining here in breath through making decisions and living them in the physical reality as reality unfolds
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to disregard what is actually here by existing in my mind, as living in an illusion, of a self created movie scene representing what I desire and fear, creating an energetic reaction as excitement or anxiety, accumulating the energy to then, when reality unfolds, react to it and not stand stable as breath
I realize that participating in future projections is self sabotage, because I am, by doing so, building up the energetic charge within myself in relation to the future projection as desire and fear, and then when reality unfolds I experience conflict / friction or satisfaction, all mind energetic experiences, and thus creating the path for myself to become possessed by the mind's energy, instead of remaining here in breath, not building up and accumulating energy through future projections, to then, whatever reality brings forth, walk in stability, because I would have not attached energy in expectation or anxiousness to be enslaved to.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to speak about the future and share my future projections as if they were real, and by doing so, dragging those around me in my illusions, not taking into consideration the consequences of not only deluding myself, but also deluding those around me, not considering them at all, but rather using them as a platform to entertain my future projections, as I make them an audience to my future show
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that by sharing my future projections I am giving them that much more power over me, as I have given myself as my future projections an audience, within this I realize that I must "control myself, as to when I see myself going into future projections, to stop myself and breathe, and to not entertain myself as the mind by sharing these ideas because it makes them physical in a way, and thus gives them more power over me, as I have now exposed them and others know of them, thus, as self support, I commit myself to refrain from sharing with others my future projections / ideas / imaginations, and make a point of remaining physical and practical within my words, as to support myself and them, through speaking the truth, as the reality of what is here, and not to speak the illusions of my mind
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, through out my day, as I do physical activities, instead of being here in breath, to be in my mind as future projections, as I imagine what I will say, what I will ware, how things will be, I imagine my experience within it, I separate myself completely from myself here, from reality, and embark in a journey into my mind
I realize that this is an addiction, because if it was not, it would be easy to stop it in the moment - today, as I was working in the garden, I stopped myself over and over again, saying to myself "NO!!" each time I saw myself going into the thoughts / imaginations - as I was stopping myself over and over I became frustrated and helpless, but then I realized that is also but a mind trick, because there is no point in giving up to helplessness, and yes, I will have to stop myself many many times before the thoughts stop coming up - I have given them so much energy through out my life, it will take time and persistence to stop them, to have their energy dissipate - thus, I realize that it's not a matter of giving up, but simply a matter of making the decision and sticking to it - thus, I commit myself to stop myself in breath, when and as I see myself going into my mind as future projections, imaginations, ideas, and within stopping to forgive myself and not allow myself to create and hold on to any self judgment, and to simply stop as many times as it takes, until it is done.
When I realize / see I'm in my mind, I stop and breathe, I bring myself back here to what I am physically busy with, I focus on my breath, I focus on my physical body
Within this, I commit myself to investigate the points that keep coming up, because I realize they are showing me back to myself, as representing a relationship within me towards myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into future projections in regards to starting a business, within planning and imagining what I will say / do / ware, I realize this indicates a point of not trusting myself, as I exist within a belief / experience, that I must plan ahead, even though, once again, the point isn't here, from perspective that I am not, for instance, at the mall, buying cloths for work - I am working in the garden and anything that isn't in direct relation to what I am doing now, in the garden is irrelevant - I realize that within participating in that which is irrelevant I am showing myself a point of anxiety, based on not trusting myself to be able to handle life as it comes my way, and thus believe I am preparing myself through future projections
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to trust myself to be able to handle whatever comes my way, through remaining here, breathing in stability - I realize this lack of self trust in regards to work is created through memories I am still holding onto within myself and giving value to and defining myself through.
In my next blog I will open up these memories, and will walk them through in self forgiveness to free myself from their hold of me, or actually my hold on them, so that I can learn from the past rather than being enslaved to it.
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Tuesday, November 6, 2012
This blog is continuing from the previous blog:
Day 79 - The lowest point
Day 80 - "I don't like being corrected / told what to do" character – Fear dimension - Mistakes – Part 1
Day 81 - "I don't like being corrected / told what to do" character – Fear dimension - Failure – Part 2
This blog is a part of the "I don't like being corrected / told what to do" character dimension series. Opening up within self forgiveness fear of failure
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within/as fear of failure and to within this allow myself to be directed by this fear, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept and participate within the construct of failure, I forgive myself for accepting and allow define projects/activities as failure based on their outcome, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to identify myself with the outcome of the project/activity where I define myself as a failure due to an outcome that I have defined as a failure, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define failure as bad/negative and thus when I experience myself as failing I experience myself within a negative energy through/within defining myself as bad/wrong/stupid/a failure
I commit myself to let go the negative attachment I have towards failure, within that I commit myself to stop myself from creating a self definition of failure as self diminishment based on the outcome of a project/activity, I commit myself to apply common sense through investigating the situation in it's entirety, to come to a self directive decision, and thus through living as the directive principle to stop myself from the self diminishment/giving up within defining myself as a failure, but rather to allow myself to learn/expand from the situation/mistake and apply myself within the principle of what is best for all within equality
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define failure as the 'end' as an irreversible verdict, within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the construct of failure as a self manipulation tactic to give up on what I am doing and within that give up on myself, I forgive myself for not realizing that the experience of failure is created by myself as a justification to give up, instead of seeing that it is the giving up within self diminishment that has created/manifested the construct of failure that in turn supports/excuses/justifies the construct of giving up, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that a failure is an end point and thus within that I believe that it's lost, it has failed, I have failed and it's the end, thus cannot be changed, and within this I haven't allowed myself to see/realize that it is in fact up to me, up to me from perspective of taking/being the directive principle and within common sense as a self directive decision I can decide if to pursue the project/activity further or not, through looking at the practicality of the situation, thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be consumed as the character of giving up within self diminishment as not believing that I am able, and thus do not have a choice to pursue/continue a project, and thus allowing myself to fail due to my own self belief of incompetency.
I commit myself to write myself to freedom, one point at a time, and forgive myself as I have allowed myself to exist as self diminishment as believing in the limitations I've created myself as within my mind, thus I commit myself to stop myself within/as breath as I see myself participating in thoughts of self diminishment as believing I am unable/not good enough, and instead to take/do the physical actions necessary to make myself able, as learning/studying/practicing the practical application in time/space in order to get me to a point of ability, thus not allowing myself to be directed by self diminishment, but to push myself through the limitations I have allowed myself to exist as, and allow myself to expand/grow/learn/apply/change myself as what is best for all, within this I realize that self diminishment is a mind created construct to keep me enslaved/trapped within the boundaries of my comfort zone, thus not allowing myself to change, thus I commit myself to push through my limitations and support myself with writing/self forgiveness as I see all the specific points I have defined myself as "I can't do it" and within breath, and through looking at the practical physical evidence support myself as life, to bring myself to a point that I am standing stable and able
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define failure as bad, as what I was taught through the schooling system, and instead to realize "failure" as a stepping stone for expansion, as through learning from mistakes I can perfect myself and my application and find more effective solutions/ways to correct/apply myself within the situation/event/project, thus I realize that the only thing in my way is me, through believing/thinking/feeling that I can't push through, through defining myself as not able, and thus accepting failure as an option, as a possibility, where as if I stop myself as the mind, as thoughts/feelings/beliefs that I am unable, there will nothing to stop me, as only I as the limitation of the mind am stopping myself and thus believing myself as a failure, thus I commit myself to write down all the points of self belief/definition of limitation, and walk them through self forgiveness, and as a practical living application, I commit myself to stop myself within breath as these thoughts/feelings/beliefs of self diminishment come up, and not allow myself to participate with them, until I am standing stable and am not directed by the mind as self limitation/diminishment
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define something as a failure based on the outcome instead of investigating the starting point and within this I commit myself to aligning myself as my starting point to that which is best for all within any project/activity to then not judge the outcome but allow myself to see the "bigger picture" and thus as I include this part of evaluating/investigating the situation as an integral part of the situation I cannot define it as a failure because it is still ongoing as a learning process, within this I realize that through looking at the starting point of any activity/project I can get much more insight as to what went wrong rather then looking through a tunnel vision at the outcome alone, within this, I commit myself to allow myself to correct my starting point to be aligned with what is best for all within the understanding that only that which is best for all can actually bring a result that is not considered a failure by anyone, because it is best for all and not based on self interest to create bias of the understanding of a situation, within this I realize that failure is simply an opinion, and is not based on reality as the physical, thus
I commit myself to look at everything through the principle of equality as what is best for all, and from this lens to evaluate situations/events/projects and to conclude the most effective way to approach/continue it, not based on self interest feelings/beliefs but based on real physical reality
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to justify my self diminishment through defining a project/activity as a failure and within that to define myself as a failure due to the evidence of the project failing, within this I commit myself to let go through writing, self forgiveness and corrective statement, of all the self definition I have allowed myself to exist as because I see/realize that these self definitions are limiting me, through allowing myself to justify them by altering my perception of reality to suit my definition of self, even if is self abusive by nature, as self diminishment
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within the polarity of failure/success and within allowing myself to accept and participate within the failure/success polarity I have allowed myself to assess the situation and evaluate if I am to be a failure or success and within that I have allowed myself to attempt to win at any cost while disregarding those around me because I fear failing and would do anything to succeed or in other situations would simply give up due to self diminishment, thus allowing myself to bounce from one end of the polarity to the other, within this I commit myself to let go the energetic charge I hold towards failure/success and to allow myself to see the situation within the simplistically of the actual physical evidence within common sense and the principle of what is best for all
I commit myself to when I see myself turning to the experience of failure, stop and breathe, and to make a directive decision in that moment through evaluating the situation within it's physical context, and within the principle of equality as what is best for all, thus to stop any energetic reaction that may direct me and be the directive principle as creating myself as who I want to be and not how I have designed myself to be through the mind as feeding off the energy of failure/success, but to simply look at what needs to be done and walk it in breath
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Tuesday, July 10, 2012
I forgive myself for
accepting and allowing myself to want the equal money system to work but to
actually believe it will fail due to not being practical enough, within this I forgive
myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as inner conflict within
myself within the construct of "I want something that is impossible" I
forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as this non-practical
construct and thus project the impracticality that I exist as onto the equal
money system without taking the time to actually go through all the information
in regards to the equal money system and to participate in order to assist in
making it practical within realizing that only if I and others participate to
create the equal money system will it even be created, within understanding
that it is up to myself and each one of us to make the equal money system, as
the global system in which we all live in, as a system that provides and
support all life equally, a reality
I forgive myself for
accepting and allowing myself to believe people who tell me that the equal money system will never work because it isn't in human nature to be equal and
to support each other, and that the equal life idea is only a fairy tale that
cannot be actually lived in reality, within this I forgive myself for not realizing
that these people have just heard about the equal money system through me and
haven't actually investigated it for themselves, and through me they could only
hear the limited information that I could pass on including all the fears and
doubts I still participate within, and thus I forgive myself for accepting and
allowing myself to share my perspectives about the equal money system without
fully understanding and being a part of creating the idea and "business plan"
of it so to speak, and thus within sharing that which I am not familiar with
and not an active part of, within realizing that I am only creating an opinion
in their minds based on the partial information as opinion I am sharing with
them and that sharing particle information is not serving them nor the equal
money system, thus I commit myself to investigate the equal money system so
that I can share a full and complete perspective and encourage others as I have
set an example to actually investigate the information for themselves so that
they can have a clear perspective and not only through the limitation of what I
understood or misunderstood.
Within this I commit
myself to not believing other people doubts about the equal money system
without having investigated the information through their own eyes, and even if
they have I commit myself to stopping my participation in any doubt towards the
equal money system, instead I will investigate the topic and ask questions to clarify
the point and will participate and suggest ideas to assist in creating the
equal money system as an effective and practical system that actually supports
all life through debugging all the points needed to be debugged
I forgive myself for
accepting and allowing myself to believe the equal money system sound "too
god to be true" and within that I am allowing myself to hold on to the skepticism
as if preparing myself to the failure of the equal money system, within this I forgive
myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear investing my time and energy
and hope on the equal money system and due to this fear of failure I have been
holding on to the doubt as a back door to tell myself later that "I know
it would work, I never really believed it would work" not realizing that
by accepting myself as this doubt I am in fact doubting myself and projecting
this self doubt on to the equal money system, I realize I have been using this construct in many points of my life, within the fear of failure I allow myself
to doubt myself within the belief that if I have doubted myself all along it
will make the failure less painful, not realizing that by doubting myself I am
creating the failure to begin with and thus not only will it be as painful as I
allow it to be, but also I will know that I have created it through not
trusting myself and pushing myself to do everything that is in my power to do –
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to within the fear of
failure and within allowing self doubt – to actually create the failure before
even starting
I commit myself to
stopping myself as self doubt, and whenever self doubt comes up within me to
stop myself and breathe, within realizing that self doubt is a character
created by me to manipulate me to believing that doubt will make the failure
more bearable not realizing that self-doubt the character that is preparing the
way before me to fail and thus preparing myself to give up before even starting
and thus not allowing myself to do everything that I could do thus leading to
self-judgment as abuse – within seeing all this I commit myself to stopping
self doubt and instead investigate and focus on what is practical for me to do,
not allowing the doubt to limit myself to then create the failure I fear but
rather to use the doubt as support to see what am I not doing that I could be doing
to push the point that I am walking.
I forgive myself for not
accepting and allowing myself to realize that any fear/doubt towards the equal
money system is a projection of fear/doubt I have towards self, and thus I realize
that the responsible thing to do is when I see myself doubting the equal money
system I stop and breathe and take a moment to look within myself to see what
am I doubting within myself, and at the same time what can I do that I am not
doing to clear the doubt I am holding within me and projecting it towards the
equal money system,
I commit myself to
investigating the equal money system if and when I find myself doubting it, and
to see what I can do to assist the point if I find that it is still not clear
and effective
i commit myself to building myself as self trust to be able to trust myself to be practical and effective in the world, to trust myself that i am in fact doing everything that is in my power to do to support myself as life and all as one and equal, and to stop any form of abuse within myself and within and as existence as myself, to dedicate to work towards bringing forth heaven on earth as equality for all as one, starting with myself and the money system as the system that is currently governing all that is here, and thus must be changed and to be aligned with the principle of what is best for all within equality.
Investigate of the Equal Money System
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