Showing posts with label spitefulness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label spitefulness. Show all posts
Thursday, January 24, 2013
this is continuing my previous blogs
Day 143 – Inadequacy
Day 144 - Inadequacy - a child gymnast
Day 145 - Inadequacy - Child's Play
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe myself to be inadequate because my sister was better than me in the games we played
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to, each time I would play with my sister and lose, accumulate it as a memory proving my inadequacy, within this allowing myself to give up on myself, as believing I will not win the game any way because I am inadequate, and thus I stopped even trying, I would play within an energetic experience of knowing it is pointless
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to value winning within playing a game, and have not allowed myself to play for the pure and unconditional enjoinment of the game
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed by the winning or losing of the game instead of allowing myself to enjoy the game within the doing of it, simply playing within a starting point of enjoinment rather within the starting point of winning
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that because I had placed value on winning the game, and have defined myself according to if I won or not, I did not allow myself to enjoy the game and expand within it, but rather I allowed myself to become limited within participating in the cycle of losing and thus believing myself to be inadequate, and thus not even trying and thus not improving / expanding, and thus losing more as proving myself right, and so on, until I have integrated the character of being inadequate as myself, and have not questioned it since.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to play within an emotional state of anxiety as within fear of losing the game again, within this I see now that I have allowed myself to become aggressive towards my sister within blaming her for my emotional experience of inadequacy, not realizing that it was me who have placed value on winning and have defined myself according to winning or losing, and thus it was me who have allowed myself to believe that if I lose I must be inadequate instead of seeing it as a point of learning and expanding within asking my sister to teach me and help me with my learning of the skill, within allowing myself to take the time and put in the effort of learning the skill - thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resent my sister because of believing myself to be less than her, instead of being grateful that I have someone to learn from and within humbleness allow myself to expand and learn through seeing her as an example
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed by my pride, as I couldn't bring myself to admit that I am less than her, even though it was clearly that she was more skillful than me at that time, thus, instead of being humble and allowing myself to learn from her and expand, I reacted within taking it personally and thus believing myself to be inferior, not allowing myself to learn and open up, but instead to build up resentment and blame towards her, within this I have dictated our relationship for the next year as I have resented her for being good at what she was doing, as well as I have dictated for myself not to push myself and try when I see effort needs to be applied, because I would go immediately into the experience of inadequacy, and thus give up before even actually trying
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to be self honest with myself in seeing myself as competitive and allowing myself to express myself as such, rather than suppressing the competitiveness by going into giving up and the experience of inadequacy to avoid the competition within fear of losing
When and as I participate in an activity and see myself as less than another, I stop myself and breathe, I support myself within breath to not allow myself to go into the experience of inadequacy, and instead I practically see what I can do in order to expand and perfect myself within this skill, I commit myself to see within common sense and practicality if this is something I was to perfect myself within and if so, to find the practical steps of doing so, without allowing myself to go into the mind, as I have realized that it is counter productive, as going into the mind within believing myself to be inadequate results instead of improving to further self limitation
When and as I see myself going into competition within giving value to winning the game / activity rather than enjoying myself within and as it, I stop myself and breathe, I realize nothing good can come out of it, I will either win and go into superiority and identify with that character, or I would lose and will go into inferiority and identify myself with that, thus I commit myself, when playing or participating in any activity that I see myself valuing the winning instead of the activity itself, I support myself with breath, and bring myself back to the physical and push myself to physically participate in what I am doing, while stopping my participation with the mind as competition
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Thursday, November 1, 2012
This blog is a follow up from my previous blog
Day 69 - Friendship - Part 11 – Spitefulness – Part 1
Day 70 - Spitefulness - Part 2 - Self Forgiveness
Day 71 - Spitefulness - Part 3 - Self Commitments
Day 72 – Spitefulness – Part 4 – More Characters – Self Forgiveness
Day 73 - Spitefulness - Part 5 – Self Commitments
Day 74 - Spitefulness - Part 6 - Self Forgiveness
Day 75 - Spitefulness - Part 7 - Self Commitments
Day 76 - Spitefulness - Part 8 – Both Sides of the Coin - Self Forgiveness
Day 77 – Spitefulness – Self Realization
NOTE - This specific blog was written as an ongoing self support writing, as I was writing my daily blogs in regards to spitefulness, I'm posting it here as the final blog in the series, for the time being.
I've been opening up the point of spitefulness, but I see I cannot yet actually forgive it because I am still not allowing myself to see it without judging it. Thus I will dedicate this blog to defuse the self judgment regarding spitefulness, so that I can actually face the point within self honesty, here as breathe, and walk it through forgiveness.
I've been hurting myself all day, bumping into things, and creating pain within/as my physical body as myself. Is this how I am punishing myself, now that I see the evil I have become? I realize I am yet to actually see the evil as myself in it's totality, but I realize it exist within me, thus, I have allowed myself to be the judge of myself and now sentencing myself with the punishment as pain - but what do I get out of it? Is that how I would treat a child that I found out was nasty and evil? No. I would find out why, I would ask them to share all the points in detail so that we can walk them together and find new solutions/ways of action to exist in/as, I would support them to see their ways and to change. judging or punishing them would achieve nothing.
i commit to treat myself as i would treat a child to allow myself the innocence of a child, within realizing that I deserve to be embraced as a child because I never actually grew up into adulthood from perspective of actually learning how to effectively walk this life - so I'm learning now, for the first time, like a child, through allowing myself to see what I have done, who I have allowed myself to exist as, and to change, within the principle of innocence as equality and oneness, as finding the way to exist that is in fact best for all.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself for being spiteful not realizing that by judging myself I am creating another character/dimension/system, and not actually supporting myself in changing the pattern/character of spitefulness, but rather hiding it from myself through self judgment
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself for all the spiteful memories that have been coming up, instead of taking them one by one, and allowing myself to investigate them within self honesty, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself for being nasty towards beings in my life, lying to them, abusing them, not supporting them, using them as a tool to feel strong and powerful at their expense within disregarding them as life, disregarding them as living beings that walk this earth and are in fact my equals
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself for being spiteful because I have created myself as the main personality as being a nice/good person and thus I realize that within walking the point of myself as spiteful I will have to let go of the nice/good personality that I have believed myself to be if I am to admit to being spiteful, thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe my own self created personalities, that I have sculptured myself as through the years within self interest as I have realized that it is the most effective personality for me to exist as within the society I come from, and thus I forgive myself for not allowing myself to let go of the nice/good personality that I have put in so much energy to create and maintain, because I fear not being a nice/good person, who will I be if I am not nice/good. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to play the nice /good act as a character because I have learnt from those around me that that is the way for me to get that which I want which is to be loved/approved/appreciated/accepted, and within where I come from, to get that one must be a nice/good person, thus within opening up the spiteful character I fear losing myself as the nice/good person, not allowing myself to stand up and face the fact that the nice/good person I believe myself to be is but an illusion, an act, a character, made up by myself and thus there is nothing really to lose because it has never really been me in fact, it has always just been an act.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself for being spiteful and within the judgment I have allowed myself to go into shame due to the spiteful thoughts as back chat I have been participating within and hiding from the eyes of all, including myself, thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use judgment/shame to keep me trapped/enslaved to the mind as the characters and personalities I have created myself as and now within believing myself to be them, not wanting to let them go in fear, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear letting go the personalities because I fear losing myself and within this fear I am anxious about what demons will emerge if I let go the act of being a nice/good person, within believing myself to be a nice/good person I have existed as/within a polarity and thus I fear losing the positive side of the polarity due to the fear of falling into the negative side, not realizing that by letting go both sides of the polarity I, as self, remain, so within this I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to let go the polarity of good/bad and thus trap myself in the fear of letting go the good and falling into bad, within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear myself within separation of myself as not knowing who I am and thus fearing of what will emerge if I am to let go the act, and expose myself to myself within the back chat/hidden mind
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that I do in fact know myself as the demon of spitefulness, but will not allow myself to actually look at it due to accepting myself as the character of judgment, not realizing that only through letting go the judgment and allowing myself to face myself can I start moving/directing myself into self change as that which is best for all within equality and oneness
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live/exist as self judgment and thus, within judging myself for who I am, I have created a belief within me that I must act like a good/nice personality/character in order to be worthy of living, not realizing that within allowing myself to participate in expressing myself through a character I have diminished myself time and time again to further believe that I must hide as who I am because if I just allow myself to be me I will not be loved/approved/validated/accepted, within this, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see/realize that by participating in self judgment I am in fact recreating over and over the pattern of self judgment, not realizing that through living as it I am making the pattern stronger and myself as life as self expression weaker, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to sabotage myself through self judgment, not realizing the cycle of self diminishment I am allowing myself to exist as through my participation within/as self judgment
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I must be loved/approved/validated/accepted in order to survive and thus have allowed myself to compromise myself within the starting point of believing I am not worthy for acceptance, not realizing that the only one who I really need/want to accept me, in order to be able to survive, is me, and thus, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to accept/love me, because I have always judged myself as not good enough, and not worthy, within this I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to accept myself within/as spitefulness, even though that is in fact who/what I have accepted and allowed myself to become, and thus, I sabotage myself through sabotaging any chance of self realization and change, because if I do not accept myself as who I have accepted and allowed myself to become as spitefulness, how will I ever be able to forgive myself within embracing myself as life and making a commitment to change, I realize that only through real self honest self forgiveness will I be able to humbly see myself as the fuck up that I am, as spitefulness/evil, and to from seeing who/what I am to walk the process of self change, within this I realize that without allowing myself to initially accept myself within the realization that I have created myself as such because I didn't know any better, and now that I do, I can do what is required to change, within this I realize that now, knowing/seeing this point, if I still don't do what it takes to change, which is to let go the judgment and move on in self correction, then I know I am in fact spiteful towards myself for not allowing myself to do what it takes within deliberate self sabotage, because now I am that much more responsible, thus, I know I must let go the judgment/shame, and go deep, and allow myself to see myself within realizing that I am a organic robot, a system, and not to take it personally, I am here now, as self directive principle, walking myself into life, into change. So I realize there is no point hitting myself over the head for what is in the past and cannot be changed, the only practical thing to do, is to see it for what it is, and allow myself to move through it as self acceptance, as myself without separation
I realize that I must accept myself as spitefulness, as the evil of all evil, I must be willing to see all those evil/nasty/dark parts of me within self honesty and thus no judgment, because all is one - evil exists and spitefulness exists, so it exists as me and I exist as it, as long as I don't allow myself to see me as the evil of all evils I am separating myself from all that is here, as murder, rape, starvation, manipulation, abuse, greed, gossip, blame - I am all that, all that exists in me, and I must allow myself to see this, to actually see it as myself as self realization so that I can figure out how I designed myself as it, so that I know how/why/when I do it, so that I can stop myself and change. I realize that if I don't allow myself to investigate myself as all the evil that I see exists in the world, it would mean I am shutting my eyes, I am not willing to be part of it - but I am part of it.
I know I am courageous enough to face this point, I am here, that's all that I really need, I am here, I don't need the appreciation/acceptance/validation of any one, all I need is to breathe here and move myself, and see myself as all the evil that I have participated within, as all the evil that exist, so that I can learn from it, so that I can change myself, so that I can show others that which I have learned and changed and they can also learn and change, so that we can all stop fucking around within/as spitefulness/evil, as we create a world of abuse/suffering, and start living as support of all as equals and create a heaven on the earth that we share.
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Tuesday, October 30, 2012
This blog is a follow up from my previous blog
Day 69 - Friendship - Part 11 – Spitefulness – Part 1
Day 70 - Spitefulness - Part 2 - Self Forgiveness
Day 71 - Spitefulness - Part 3 - Self Commitments
Day 72 – Spitefulness – Part 4 – More Characters – Self Forgiveness
Day 73 - Spitefulness - Part 5 – Self Commitments
Day 74 - Spitefulness - Part 6 - Self Forgiveness
Day 75 - Spitefulness - Part 7 - Self Commitments
Spite - Malicious ill will prompting an urge to hurt or humiliate.
Desire approval - Abuse for sense of power - Passing on the energy of inferiority/anger - Expectation - Believing I am not loved - Manipulation – Control
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to be approved by some people, within this desire I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to expect them to respond/speak to me in an approving manner, thus, when they express themselves in a way that I perceive to be as "negative" I react within taking it personally as I have accepted my self definition to be based on how I believe they see me, and thus when I believe they see me "badly" it hurts my self definition, thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself in regards to how others see me and thus allow myself to be directed/controlled/limited by the perception/idea/belief of how others see me , within this I see that as a result of them not giving me the positive feedback I believe I require, I turn to spitefulness/resentment, thus I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see the direct evil/spiteful outflow of my acceptance of myself according to how others see me, as I have placed my self definition and thus self acceptance in the hands of others and as they interact with me and how I perceive this interaction, thus not allowing myself to be self directed but rather allowing myself to be in the hands of others, not considering their entire beingness and experience of themselves in every moment, but only considering myself, and within only considering myself, when they speak/respond to me in a way that doesn't express their approval I turn spiteful
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to pick on those that I define as weaker than me, allowing myself to bully/spite/abuse them as a form or regaining a sense of power within the starting point of believing I need to regain my power due to actually seeing myself as weak/inferior/worthless, thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as inferiority, which is an entire character within itself that serve my self interest of surviving as I have created myself as inferior, not allowing myself to see that the outflow of my accepted and allowed inferiority to exist within me results as the consequence of allowing myself to become spiteful towards others, and thus to create/manifest inferiority in another while attempting to regain my power, still within the polarity of superiority/inferiority, instead of stepping out of the polarity which is based in the mind as an illusion in fact and not on actual reality as the physical, and allow myself to exist as the hereness of myself, as breath, as the physical, while supporting myself and others as myself to become the living expression of/as ourselves, to live within self honesty, in equality, as what is best for all
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be nasty towards others within spitefulness when I am aware they have done nothing wrong so to speak, but I am consumed with an emotional energetic reaction such as inferiority or anger for example, that within my experience I must pass it on to someone else to diffuse it, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to pass on the energy I am experiencing to an innocent by-stander, just to feel the relief of not having to carry/experience this energy I have just passed on within self interest and complete disregard of the other human being, within this I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that by doing so, as passing on the negative experience, as to share the load with someone else, I am not actually getting rid of the problem but duplicating it, as it now exist in myself due to not actually walking through the point and allowing myself to face the reaction I have allowed myself to participate within, and now I have given it to another person, that will react/respond to what I have done/said to them, and create the energy within them, thus, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to take self responsibility on my creation as energetic reaction and instead of dealing within it through/as breath within/as myself I pass it on like a hot potato, not realizing the self interest self deception of giving myself a momentarily relief to only a few moments later, once the energetic possession has passed to go into guilt for allowing myself to act within spitefulness within self interest with no justification to validate me as I know within myself that what I have done is complete disregarding the other person within their life process, as well as myself
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within/as spitefulness when someone doesn't hold up to the expectation I have on them, as I feel like I deserve to get something specific from them as positive feedback, agreement or participation for instance, and if I don't get what I want/expect from them, I react within spitefulness, within this, on the other side of the coin, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react within spitefulness when I feel someone is expecting something of me, as I experience it as a form of limitation and as a disregard of the totality of me, and thus when one expect me to do something and expresses their expectation/disappointment I go into spitefulness and hold it against them, within this, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that I have been participating in both sides of the coin, both expecting from others, and reacting to them expecting from me, thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in the construct of expectation as I have realized that it is based on limitation and the disregard of the totality of a being, and is based solely on self interest
Within the construct of expectation, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into spitefulness when I expect someone to love me, and express their love in a specific way that I would experience that love, and thus, when I don't experience that love which I expect to experience from another I allow myself to go into spitefulness and resent the being for not giving me the positive/validation/acceptance experience of love, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit myself as I define myself according to how I perceive people think/feel about me, thus not allowing myself to be here in every moment as the self directive principle of/as myself, but instead to rely on others to approve/validate/accept/love me, within this I see that I expect to get all of this from others instead of allowing myself to give it to myself within building myself as self, and accepting myself as self, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate from myself to such an extent that in order to love/accept/appreciate/validate/approve myself, I believe I require an external acceptance/love/approval
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use spitefulness within manipulation as I know everyone is directed by emotions and feelings and thus I play on it and manipulate them into experiencing themselves in a specific/bad way through my participation in/as spitefulness and thus I play god as I use through manipulation my spitefulness to direct them to do that which I want, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within the other side of the coin once again where I allow myself to become spiteful towards other beings when/as I see they are using manipulation to get what they want, as I have defined it as unacceptable within the value system, not allowing myself to see that I am in fact "guilty" of the same crime, and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to justify myself when I act/behave in manipulative way but when others do it I use it against them and justify my spitefulness towards them, thus allowing myself to exist as two faced, not aligned with the principles/values I believe I stand by, thus creating a tare within me, as a form of separation where I always see myself as right and others as wrong, and thus within this basic belief/point of view, of always being right, I justify myself and blame them for basically doing the same thing
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in spitefulness when I experience myself as not being in control of a situation, where I believe someone else is directing the situation and I am simply going with the flow of things, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resent the other being for being in control as I experience myself not being in control of the situation and thus I resent them within spitefulness for "taking away my power" instead of realizing that it is my responsibility to take control of the situation through/within/as taking control over myself, as being the directive principle of/as myself within my experience of/as myself, and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist in the idea/belief/experience that someone else is too much in control and that they are to blame/responsible for my experience of being out of control, thus abdicating my self responsibility and not allowing myself to see that only I am responsible for not being in control within/as a situation and within this realization I recognize that I am responsible to see the point that I have given away my power in regards to, and claim it back through walking it within stopping the beliefs that I don't have power through supporting myself with writing the points out and applying self forgiveness and corrective statements as to pave the path before me to self change, as to be able to claim back my power that I have given away
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Monday, October 29, 2012
This blog is a follow up from my previous blog
Day 69 - Friendship - Part 11 – Spitefulness – Part 1
Day 70 - Spitefulness - Part 2 - Self Forgiveness
Day 71 - Spitefulness - Part 3 - Self Commitments
Day 72 – Spitefulness – Part 4 – More Characters – Self Forgiveness
Day 73 - Spitefulness - Part 5 – Self Commitments
Day 74 - Spitefulness - Part 6 - Self Forgiveness
Judgment - Being corrected - Not trusting - Fair game - Being miss treated
I commit myself to stop myself within breath when I see myself retaliating someone's behavior through the judgment and spiteful characters, within realizing that any retaliation is justifying/creating/accepting the existence of abuse/suffering/harm/evil and thus, I commit myself to do onto another that which I would like them to do onto myself and not the opposite as I do on to another within retaliation that which I judge them for as I do not want them to do on to myself
I commit myself to investigate within myself all points of comparison, as they indicate point I have not accepted as/within/about myself, and thus within allowing myself to participate within comparison I diminish myself as I accept myself as less than life, within this I commit myself to stop myself within/as comparison through bringing myself back here to the actual physical body, within/as breath, I commit myself to stop the self definition through comparison within the starting point of self judgment/diminishment, within this I commit myself to when I see myself going into spitefulness due to comparison I stop myself within realizing that I am "taking out" on the other my self judgment through spiting them, and thus not allowing myself to be here as self support as supporting them as life in every moment, thus accepting as myself a world of abuse/spitefulness/judgment, within this I commit myself to use comparison within a starting point of expansion as I see where I can expand and how I can perfect myself within/through the example of others, thus I change my point of view in regards to comparison from comparison based in judgment that allows spitefulness as an outflow, to comparison based on self perfection that allows myself to expand and be grateful
I commit myself to investigate myself as the self definition of myself, within realizing that to change myself to that which is best for all I must let go the current definition of myself and to do so I must first see how/what I have defined myself as, and thus I commit myself to use any points of comparison that come up within me as a tool to support myself in seeing the self belief I have been existing as, and within this to expose the religion of self that I have accepted as my self creation, and to allow myself to within writing/self forgiveness/commitment statement to create myself a new, as I birth myself as life from the very physical, as I stop myself as the mind and emerge as life
I commit myself to continue investigating within/as myself the point of reaction to being corrected, within this, I commit myself to stop myself within/as breath when I see myself react to being corrected and to within breath take in what is being said as it is a suggestion for improvement and to apply what I see relevant within common sense, thus being the directive principle of/as myself and not allow myself to be directed by the reaction that come up within me as ego, that turn into spitefulness for believing/experiencing my ego being hurt. I commit myself to through walking a process of writing the points out to myself to allow myself to be humble and accept anything said to me as a gift that I have the directive power to, as I open the gift, use it in any way I see fit, through utilizing common sense as what is here in the physical reality, within taking into consideration the entirety of the situation, and make a decision that support me as well as all as equals, I realize that any reaction to being corrected is of self interest within the desire to keep up a self definition I have created myself as, as a character/personality, and thus I commit myself to use the reactions I find myself participate within as gifts, showing me back to myself bringing more points of inner conflict up to my conscious awareness so that I can take self responsibility and walk through them within writing, self forgiveness, corrective statements.
I commit myself to building myself up as self trust through a process of allowing myself to see/face myself as who I am, through allowing myself to direct myself, thus I commit myself to let go the fear of failure that I have allowed to limit me as self expression, so that I can see who I am within self direction, so tat I can learn, like baby steps, how to direct myself, within realizing that if a baby would fear falling when they learn to walk, they will never learn to walk, and the same goes for me, if I fear falling as I learn to direct myself, I will never learn to direct myself, and thus I commit myself to stop myself within breath when thoughts of fear come up within me in regards to directing a point, I commit myself to take it slow, and allow myself to make mistakes as I realize that a mistake is just that where I miss take something, and thus I have the opportunity to correct myself and take it from a different angle.
I commit myself , when/as I see myself going into spitefulness so for not trusting someone, to stop myself and breathe, to investigate what is it about the situation that is showing me a point of not trusting myself, and within this, I commit myself to stop myself for a moment and see how I can address the situation without having to trust the other, but to use myself as self direction to guide me within/as the situation, and thus to place my trust on myself
I commit myself to further investigate the "fair game" construct/character that I have allowed myself to participate within, within realizing that te outflow of playing the fair game results in my participation within spitefulness/blame, within believing I am being wronged, within this I commit myself to stop myself within/as breath when/as I see myself go into my mind within thoughts/back chat of "it isn't fair" and to bring myself back here as the physical within/as breath, within realizing that fair is an idea/expectation I have created in my mind, and when looking at the physical reality one can clearly see that nothing is fair, as people starve to death, woman and children are being raped, people are being sent to die in war - life as we know it isn't fair, thus I commit myself to change myself as stopping the mind within realizing that the unfairness in this world is created by all of us, and only through stopping myself as un fair will I be able to direct change in this world, within this I commit myself to accept my responsibilities and not allow myself to go in my mind to the unfair game/character, but rather to commit myself on being here as the physical so that I can be aware and awake to see the actual unfair that is going on in this world and within myself as I participate in the unfair game - and to stop
I realize that as long as I have any form of self interest within me as the directive principle of me I cannot expect anything else from anybody else, and thus I commit myself to walk my process of stopping the mind, day by day, breath by breath, as I realize that self interest is a creation of/within the mind, and within self interest we all do what we can to win, to get the better hand, and thus to make the other the looser, our slave
I commit myself to breathe, I commit myself to breathe as I communicate with people, I commit myself to slow down within/as breath, I commit myself, when perceiving someone is mistreating me to stop myself in the moment and realize that any reaction to what another says/does is self created, and thus if I experience myself as being mistreated I commit myself to investigate the expectation I have placed as how I believe I should be treated, within this I commit myself to not allow myself to go into spitefulness towards the other because I realize as I go into spitefulness I am allowing myself to mistreat another wither in my thoughts/words or actions, within this I also realize that by going into spiteful I am accepting the idea of being mistreated and thus giving away my power as if someone else is responsible/creator of my experience, thus I bring myself back here, and breathe for as long as it may take for me to stabilize myself and stop the reaction within me
I commit myself to practice living the words as "do onto another what you would like them to do unto you" and within this I commit myself to humbleness, within being the "bigger person" not from perspective of comparison/competition, but rather from a perspective of living that which I want others to live, living the principle of equality, living the principle of love thy neighbor, and within this I realize there is no place for spitefulness to exist, thus I commit myself to stop myself again and again and again, within investigating each point through writing, self forgiveness and self commitments, until I stop fueling the character of spitefulness/nastiness/evil, until I stop.
For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Sunday, October 28, 2012
This blog is a follow up from my previous blog
Day 69 - Friendship - Part 11 – Spitefulness – Part 1
Day 70 - Spitefulness - Part 2 - Self Forgiveness
Day 71 - Spitefulness - Part 3 - Self Commitments
Day 72 – Spitefulness – Part 4 – More Characters – Self Forgiveness
Day 73 - Spitefulness - Part 5 – Self Commitments
I realize this is just the tip of the ice burg since all these characters are a whole construct within themselves, and thus in this spitefulness series blog I am just referring to how the relate directly to spitefulness, though I realize that in time I will investigate each of them individually as to be able to stop them and the outflow of spitefulness more effectively.
Judgment - Being corrected - Not trusting - Fair game - Being miss treated
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within/as judgment, where I scan a persons looks/behavior/words and place a judgment on them as good/bad, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself judge their looks/behavior/words based on an accepted social norm as a value system without having investigated the implications of such social norms as value system, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept the social norms as a guide line to what/how things/people should be and when I find someone stepping out of these lines I judge them for it, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to spite that which I judge as a way to establish perceived order in the social norm and value system that is being disrupted by these being which I judge, in other words, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to spite that which I judge within allowing myself to be the judge and place the punishment for the disruption of order, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use spite as a form of retaliation towards that which is not aligned with the social norm that I have accepted as my own
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use this judgment as a point of comparison as a way to define myself as better/worse than the person I am judging and thus to place my self definition on how I perceive others to be and how I compare to them, while not seeing the mirror dimension within the judgment construct, as I am seeing in them that which I believe I lack in myself, or that which I judge within myself, thus not allowing myself to see that the judgment is actually showing me back to myself and not really indicating anything about the other, within not allowing myself to realize this point, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go from judgment/comparison/self definition to spitefulness towards the other being, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe the judgment and thus to believe the comparison as self definition, and within believing myself to be inferior/superior to the other being I allow myself to spite them as a way to enforce my power over them, either in my mind as thoughts or in actuality as words/actions, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resort to spitefulness as a point of actually wanting/desiring to harm/hurt/abuse this being based on the judgment I have placed and in complete disregard of them as the totality of them as life as equal to me
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react within/as a negative energetic reaction when being corrected, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to spite the being that is correcting me because I have taken the correction personally, as if they have corrected me to spite me, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed by the circumstances as how others communicate with me, and to allow myself to react to their words, as I take it personally and believe that I have done something wrong and should thus be ashamed instead of looking at the point and seeing within common sense if I can in fact correct myself within it, within the negative experience of shame I blame the other being for creating this experience within me, not realizing that I am self responsible for all allowed experiences within/as myself, and thus within believing they are to blame for my bad feeling I spite them in my mind/words/actions, wanting to hurt/harm them as to retaliate for the bad experience they gave me, thus doing onto them the very thing I took personally within believing they corrected me within spite
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to spite beings that I don't trust, as a form of self protection, in the sense of not trusting what they say or how they behave, within believing they have hidden agendas and thus within the fear of being conned I spite them not realizing that in fact I am showing myself that I don't trust myself to, in every moment, be able to see the common sense of the situation and direct myself accordingly, thus I project the lack of self trust onto them, as I fear trusting them, and within living in this fear I am spiteful towards them. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe others should be trust worthy when I haven't allowed myself yet to build trust within myself, and thus as I don't trust others I am reminded of not trusting myself and thus I am spiteful towards the for "putting me" in this position of seeing myself as lack of self trust
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in the "fair game" where I believe I am being wronged/exploited and thus believe it to not be fair, within believing "this isn't fair" I blame the other being for participating/creating the unfair situation and thus I spite them for that, allowing myself to think nasty thought about how they are doing me wrong, and allow myself to speak nasty words and act in nasty behaviors within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to when perceiving someone has done me wrong to allow myself to do wrong unto them within my thoughts/words/actions and thus not live up to my own expectations of another, and not live up to the value/principle of living as what is best for all, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be supportive of another as myself only if they are worthy of it within my interpretation, and if they are un fair I deem them unworthy and allow myself to spite them
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to perceive situations as if I am Being miss treated, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take other people's behaviors personally within expecting them to treat me a=in a certain way that I have defined as good/nice, within this I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to be here as breath no matter what and instead I have allowed myself to manipulate myself into emotional energetic reactions when I perceive someone is mistreating me, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to turn to spitefulness and deliberately allow myself to miss treat others in my thoughts/words and actions as I believe they are doing to me, not realizing that by participating within/as spitefulness I am creating and recreating the cycle of abuse, instead of allowing myself to through communication and in regards to the other being in the situation, support myself and the other to clear up the point and put it on the table, so to speak, instead of going at it in my mind, that in turn effect my actions/behavior as I allow myself to treat another how I wouldn't want to be treated myself
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use spitefulness as a tool to pay back all of those who I blame to have done me wrong, not realizing that by participating within spitefulness I am not standing in alignment within/as myself as I do onto another the very thing I do not want them to do onto me, this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use justifications for allowing myself to be spiteful as I realize that there is no excuse, and no justification that validates being spiteful/nasty/evil towards another, within this I forgive myself for not allowing myself to see and consider that every time I am being spiteful towards another I am actually spiteful towards myself as I deliberately hurt/abuse myself within participating with the mind and thus separating me from myself, as well as creating the obvious consequences of regretting my participation within spitefulness within creating within me an experience of shame, within this I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to stop spitefulness within the realization that nothing good can come out of it, all I am doing within spitefulness is feeding my addiction to energy through believing the justifications and validating and allowing myself to spite others to then spite myself within shame and regret and within allowing myself to exist in a misalignment within myself as I am allowing myself to do that which I judge as evil
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Saturday, October 27, 2012
This blog is a follow up from my previous blog
Day 69 - Friendship - Part 11 – Spitefulness – Part 1
Day 70 - Spitefulness - Part 2 - Self Forgiveness
Day 71 - Spitefulness - Part 3 - Self Commitments
Day 72 – Spitefulness – Part 4 – More Characters – Self Forgiveness
Blame – Annoyance – Superiority – Inferiority - Worthlessness
I commit myself to investigate any/all spiteful thoughts I have allowed myself to participate within, and within that to investigate all points where I still fall in the pattern/addiction of spitefulness, and within that to find the actual source as driving force that I have allowed myself to be directed by, and stop myself from allowing myself to continue being directed like a puppet on strings, I commit myself to utilize breath as self support and within this to always direct myself back to the physical as what is actually here as life, and not allow myself to be distracted/tempted by the realm of the mind, as I know it's a one way road to hell in the sense of - through allowing myself to separate myself from myself as life, through allowing myself to participate within/as the mind as thoughts/feelings/emotions, through not being directive principle in every moment, I have allowed myself to be nasty/spiteful/evil and thus due to actually knowing and being aware of all that I am beneath my mask and act of ignorance there builds up shame/guilt/regret for not stopping - thus within not stopping, I realize I will create my own personal hell of shame/guilt/regret, because beneath this lie, I know I am life, I know my thoughts are running around within the self interest and disregarding myself as life and all as life as equals - thus I commit myself to stop
I commit myself to show that all thoughts are evil in nature, and all thoughts are motivated by self interest, and that within allowing ourselves to participate in thoughts, within allowing ourselves to participate in the spiteful back chat of our hidden mind, we are actually creating this world as evil/abusive/spiteful, and thus we are each responsible to stop ourselves within/as our participation of/within the mind, to be able to walk the first step in bringing about a world that supports life, as well as walking the first step of birthing ourselves as beings that are worthy of life
I commit myself to investigate within myself all points of blame, because I realized that all blame is me hiding from me as not taking self responsibility for that which I am in fact responsible for, I commit myself to stopping myself within breath when I see myself going into blame and to breathe as long as it takes to stop the blame possession from taking over, I coming myself to not allow myself to go into spitefulness based in blame because I realize this is deceptive act getting me to lose track of what really matters which is my responsibility, by placing it on someone else and using that as justification to poison myself and existence as a whole with my spiteful thoughts/words/deeds, thus bringing myself to a point of evil, of acting out the very thing I blame another for, I commit myself to build myself as self integrity through stopping myself from participating in that which I blame others for, which is that which is unacceptable as it is based in abuse/evil/spitefulness
I commit myself to show that any form of blame is done within spitefulness, within placing self's responsibility on another and thus spiting self through deliberately abdicating self responsibility and hiding from self within separation through participation within the mind as thoughts such as blame, within this I commit myself to show that participating with blame is directly accepting abuse to exist within participating in the spiteful thoughts towards another within realizing that spiteful actions come from and are a direct result of spiteful thoughts and thus to ensure spitefulness/abuse stop we must stop all thoughts
I commit myself to use annoyance as a gift, as a tool for self realization and thus self support, to through annoyance see who I am allowing myself to be and what I have allowed to have directive principle over me in becoming annoyed by external trigger, and thus within realizing the points of trigger to see what I am actually showing myself within myself, and thus I commit myself to investigate all points of annoyance and atop myself within/as breath when I see myself going into annoyance as to not allow the experience of annoyance to direct me, and thus to become the directive principle of/as myself, directing myself within the principle of equality and oneness as what is best for all
I commit myself to humble myself within/as breath, when I see myself going into superiority, within realizing that superiority is a survival mechanism I have accepted as myself to cover up the experience of inferiority I have allowed myself to exist as, and thus I commit myself to use points of superiority to show myself back to myself, to allow myself to see the point I believe I am better than another and within that the point I fear being less than another and to within seeing these points to forgive myself for accepting myself to exist within the specific polarity of more/less within forgiving the value system I am basing this polarity on, within realizing that any polarity is of the mind, within this I commit myself to investigate the value systems I have allowed myself to participate within and accept as valid due to realizing that all values that are enforced by society are in fact based on self interest and the deception within living as an accepted norm within competition and lacking any self honesty as self expression, and further more lacking the principle of life as equality and oneness
I commit myself to stop myself within/as breath when I see myself going into inferiority towards another and to investigate the point within writing myself to freedom through self forgiveness as to free myself from the perceived inferiority as I have realized it is limiting me and diminishing me and has no value within my process except keeping me enslaved to/as the mind within limitation, within this I commit myself to if/when I see myself going into spitefulness towards the being I am experiencing myself inferior to, to stop myself at the moment, to not allow myself to participate within spiteful thoughts/words/actions because I know this is self deception and creating conflict and abuse and in any way doesn't support myself nor the other as life within our process of life, I commit myself to investigate points of inferiority and to bring myself to a point of equality within myself and existence as a whole
I commit myself to stop participating within/as worthlessness, returning to the physical within/as breath, within realizing that the experience of being worthless is a back door of taking self responsibility within believing myself to be a victim of life, thus not allowing myself to direct myself as life, one and equal to/as life, thus I commit myself to show that any experience of self worthlessness is self manipulation keeping self trapped within/as the mind, a trap created by self and thus can be ended by self, within realizing that I am responsible for/as myself and thus I have the opportunity in every breath to live a life a worth through establishing myself as a being that support myself, that supports all other beings in my immediate environment, that support all life as equals - that is a life worth living, a life that holds no regret within the self trust that self is doing all within the principle of supporting life, and walking life breath by breath, and thus I commit myself to walk breath by breath, and to direct myself to support myself within self honesty, within stopping the mind/thoughts/spitefulness and returning to myself as the physical, as reality, as life
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Friday, October 26, 2012
This blog is a follow up from my previous blog
Day 69 - Friendship - Part 11 – Spitefulness – Part 1
Day 70 - Spitefulness - Part 2 - Self Forgiveness
Day 71 - Spitefulness - Part 3 - Self Commitments
Just to be clear with myself as to what i am writing about: the definition of “spite” from online dictionary - Spite - Malicious ill will prompting an urge to hurt or humiliate.
I am continuing with the character of spitefulness and how I have created it through using it as an outflow of participation within other characters, on tonight's blog I will address the following characters that I found I fall into and in turn accept myself as spiteful
Blame – Annoyance – Superiority – Inferiority – Worthlessness
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in spitefulness wither thoughts/words/actions/behavior, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in a deliberate harmful/abusive thought/word/deed not taking into consideration the consequences of such participation within myself, the other and existence as a whole, within not realizing that by participating within/as spitefulness I am giving my allowance for all spitefulness to exist within the principle of as within so without, and thus by not allowing myself to stop myself as spitefulness I allow the construct of spitefulness to continue everywhere, thus I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to push/will myself to stop myself as spitefulness due to realizing that the responsibility goes much further beyond my privet experience, there is an outflow that effects everything and everyone, and thus I am responsible to stop myself or live with the regret for not stopping and allowing it/myself to continue
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to when/as I go into the blame character within believing that someone had done me wrong, or had done something that they shouldn't have, or that they are responsible for some form of consequence that is not in my best interest, I allow myself to go into spitefulness towards them, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use blame as a justification for me to be spiteful towards another being, through believing they did something wrong within judging them in my mind and while accepting the blame/judgment I then allow myself to participate in harmful/abusive thoughts/words/actions towards them, as allowing myself a form of poetic justice within believing they are to blame and thus I spite them as punishment/revenge/deliberate consequences
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become annoyed by others for various reasons and within becoming annoyed at them, within believing that they are the cause of my annoyance, within judging them for not being as I wish them to be for me not to get annoyed, within justifying myself within accepting the annoyance due to how they are / how they express themselves what they are doing, I then allow myself to spite them in my mind as thoughts of wanting to hard them, wanting them to experience the uncomfortability/pain I am experiencing, not allowing myself to see for one moment that I am the only one responsible for my reactions/feelings/emotions, and thus if I am experiencing annoyance I must look within self and investigate why/how I have created this experience within/as myself, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to investigate the point of annoyance and go automatically to spitefulness while not allowing myself to face myself and bring myself to a point of change within taking self responsibility of/for myself in every thought/word/action/experience within/as me
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within spitefulness from a starting point of superiority, where I have defined myself as better then the other person and thus experience myself as superior due to specific criteria, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, when such people that I experience myself as superior to, do something that justifies my superiority, as in proves my superiority to be correct, I go into spitefulness and allow myself to spite the in my thoughts/words/actions, where I, through expressing spitefulness towards them within or without, show to myself/others how much more I am then the other being through allowing myself to spite them as it is interpreted by me as a form of power, thus proving my superiority
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within/as spitefulness towards people that I experience myself as inferior to within allowing myself to compare myself to them and exist within constant competition with them of which I always perceive myself as the loser, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame them within myself within believing that they are doing it to me, and thus I allow myself to spite them to show myself within my mind that I am able to hurt them and thus am not actually inferior
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience myself as worthless, and within that experience being bad/negative I want to stop it within self interest, and thus I turn to spitefulness as a point of showing myself that I have worth through being able to hurt others, thus validating myself as worth living through my ability of hurting/abusing another as if in a way the ability to have an effect on another is proof that I am alive, within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to allow the mind experience of unworthiness to bring me to a position that I don't care about what harm/abuse I create as long as I have an effect as that will prove to me that I have value
Thursday, October 25, 2012
This blog is a follow up from my previous blog
Day 69 - Friendship - Part 11 – Spitefulness – Part 1
Day 70 - Spitefulness - Part 2 - Self Forgiveness
Today I am walking the corrective statements on the self forgiveness I wrote on yesterday's blog, regarding the characters that I have been participating within and that have been the source/justification for the spiteful character
I commit myself to continue investigating/forgiving the point of spitefulness that I have allowed myself to exist as, and to through writing, self forgiveness, corrective statement, walk myself into correcting, through supporting myself within/as breath as I see myself go into the character of spitefulness wither within thoughts as back chat, words or deeds, thus I commit myself, through writing and exposing to myself the dimension of spitefulness, to build up my awareness of myself as to be able to see the character of spiteful and stop it before I actually act on it, and continue investigating the point until I have walked it and have stopped myself from all/any participation within/as the character of spitefulness, as it is completely unacceptable and only designed to create conflict within and without as a way to tempt me and others to participate within/as energy which is designed to consume the physical as ourselves and to separate us from being here as the physical as life
I commit myself to investigate myself within/as competition as I realize that there is no justification for competition as it creates a world of winners and losers and thus can never be of actually of support to all as equals, thus any participation within competition is by definition destructive/abusive/evil, and thus I commit myself to stop myself through applying the desteni tools, and within that I commit myself to when seeing myself going into spitefulness within the character of competition to stop myself within/as breath as i have realized that it is a dead end in terms of nothing supportive will come out of it, it is a loop of spitefulness that ends with just more spitefulness and thus pointless and unnecessary
I commit myself to stop myself within/as breath when/as I see myself going into the character of arrogance, I commit myself to further investigate the character of arrogance as to be able to see it's dimensions and within seeing allowing myself to stop myself at earlier and earlier stages of my participation/creation within/as this character, within this, I commit myself to stop myself within/as breath when/as I see myself going into spitefulness through the character of arrogance, as I have seen, realized and understood that it is a construct/design that I am participating within to create an energetic reaction within me and the other, thus supporting the mind as it feeds off of what is actually here as the physical, I commit myself to stop myself from participating within/as spitefulness/arrogance, because I realize I have been doing so to present/experience myself as powerful, as a cover up of the actual inner experience of inferiority/weakness that I have created myself as and have allowed myself to exist as, within this I commit myself to, any time I see myself going into/participation within arrogance/sinfulness to stop myself within breath and take a look at what am I trying to hide from myself within the actual experience of myself of inferiority/worthlessness , I commit myself to investigate why/how I have defined myself as more/better than the other through which I have allowed myself to believe myself to be more than them, because I realize that it is merely a mind construct/design created by myself through copying from those around me, within trying to present myself as more than, instead of realizing equality and living as what is bets for all within support for all as equals
I commit myself to further investigate the point of impatience within me, within the character of impatience I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into and express myself as spitefulness, not realizing that the point of impatience is created by myself within/as myself and thus acting in spitefulness indicates that I am blaming the other for creating the experience of impatience within me, thus not taking self responsibility for the totality of myself within realizing that no one else can create an experience within me but me, so within this I commit myself to when/as I see myself going into impatience I stop myself within/as breath, I bring myself back here to the physical body which is the reality of myself, I allow myself to take the point back to self and look at what have I allowed to trigger within me the character of impatience and within seeing the point of trigger to forgive myself for it and let it go, to bring myself to a point of total self directive principle as not allowing any external trigger to direct me as the experience of myself, within this I commit myself to stop the link between impatience and spitefulness because I realize that through it I am creating another layer within myself as separation of/from myself, so I breathe, I stop, I investigate, until I am walking, clear, as breath, here, as life.
I commit myself to further investigate the point of jealousy, I realize that any jealousy within me is a projection of self judgment onto another within spitefulness, and this is unacceptable, I commit myself to stop myself within/as breath when/as I see myself going into the back chat/thoughts of jealousy where I compare myself to another and perceive them to be/have all that I want to be/have, within this I commit myself to if/when I see myself going into jealousy, I stop and breathe, I allow myself to investigate the point of accepted self judgment within/as myself, I realize it is not about the other being, they are merely a reflection/mirror supporting me to see/face myself as who I have accepted and allowed myself to be and exist as, thus I commit myself to realize this point of jealousy as support, as it is what is here and thus I can work with it in seeing another layer/pattern/behavior/character of myself, and thus I am grateful for any experience of jealousy that come up and commit myself to walk through it within writing/self forgiveness/corrective statements to see what am I jealous of, what am I showing myself what have I been hiding from myself through automatically going into spitefulness and not staying with my focus on myself but diverting my focus on the other which is simply here as support as a mirror - always showing me myself, if I allow myself to open my eyes and see
I commit myself to further investigate the point/character of revenge within me, I commit myself to stop myself within/as breath when I see myself going into the character of revenge within thoughts/words/actions as expressed within the spiteful character, within realizing that any point of revenge is created through blame and abdication of self responsibility within allowing abuse, within this I commit myself to stopping myself within the desire to hurt another within spitefulness/abuse due to the justification that they deserve it as revenge because I believe they have done me wrong, within this I commit myself to stop myself from judging others due to realizing that my reaction towards them and allowing myself to blame them is a point of not facing myself within self honesty, within this I realize that I must focus on myself and walk my own process first, that means that each and every reaction I have towards another is an opportunity for me to come closer to myself, so to speak, and allow my to see more of me as who I have created myself as and have been hiding this creation from myself, within this I commit myself to stop myself as revenge from a starting point of realizing that I do not know/see the entirety of the other being, thus do not see the big picture of who they are, and within this through revenge spitefulness I am allowing myself to limited them into/as a one dimensional idea I have created about them and within this idea have decided upon myself to revenge their actions, instead of simply stopping, breathing, bringing myself back to myself and working out my shit before I preaching/judging others, within this I realize that only through first seeing/facing myself and recognizing the entire patterns I have created and have been participating within will I even be able to actually support another to seeing themselves through being a living example of living what is best for all, including that which I currently judge and want to revenge, only once I can live as equal to all that I perceive as evil, and thus allow myself to see the evil within me, can I support another to see the evil within themselves, I commit myself to walk my own process, until I have proven to myself self stability
I commit myself to stop myself within/as breath when I see memories of others being spiteful towards me start coming up as a self justification paving the way for the spitefulness to follow, within this I commit myself to stop the memories and not allow myself to go into them, and believe them, I have realize that the memory is tainted with the experience I allowed myself to have in that moment and within that have placed the blame on another instead of taking self responsibility in the very moment the event occurred, and thus the memory is not valid because it has been stored within a starting point of self dishonesty, thus I commit myself to stop the memory and forgive myself for holding onto it, until I am clear and am walking within/as breath and not being interrupted by memories of the past, coming to hunt me and create conflict/friction within/as myself and my relationships
I commit myself to investigate the point of limitation within allowing myself to believe that another being can limit me in any way, not realizing that any experience of limitation is self created and thus only I am responsible for it, within this I commit myself to when I see myself becoming spiteful towards another for perceiving them to be limiting me I stop myself and breath, I bring myself back here and look at reality for what it is and show myself until I actually get it and integrate it as myself that no one is actually limiting me but me, and within believing another is limiting me I am actually showing myself points/character of inferiority that I have allowed myself to exist as, and thus I commit myself to investigate the points within self honesty as only through seeing the specifics of each point will I be able to free myself from the limitations I have created myself as, as the mind, and within showing myself the self created limitation I can take direction of/as myself and stop being directed by/as the mind as limitation/inferiority
I commit myself to stopping myself as the character of blame because I realize it is a self manipulation tactic to keep me from taking self responsibility for/as myself in every moment within realizing that only I am responsible for myself, and in a grater scale responsible for everything in existence as myself, and thus I commit myself to stop blame within/as breath because as long as I blame I am not allowing myself to see the real true evil nature of myself as I turn the focus on others to carry the blame instead of looking at it practically within common sense and seeing what is my responsibility of/in regards to the situation
I commit myself to walk the point of spitefulness until I am clear and do not participate within it any more, I realize this will take time, as it took many years for me to design myself as the character and thus I realize the many layers/dimensions this character holds within/as it, within/as myself, and thus I commit myself to walk humbly, patiently, slowly, forgiving myself for point by point by point, while allowing myself to go into all the layers/characters/acceptances of weakness/inferiority/worthlessness/fear that I have allowed myself to exist as and thus to direct me - no more, I commit myself to through walking this process within utilizing the tools provided of writing, self forgiveness and commitment statements, to walk myself free of the limitations/beliefs I have created as myself, to stop myself as the religion of self I have allowed myself to exist as, to stand up as life, to breathe, to acknowledge my physical body and existence as a whole, and to walk until it is done, until I am no more reacting from an automated response program, until I am no longer participating in anything that is not supporting all as life as equals, until I am here in every breath, within self trust, walking what is best for all and living as a living example of life
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