day 13 - The procrastinator character

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create myself as the character of procrastinator

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to take responsibility for myself within participating as the character of procrastination and thus have allowed and accepted procrastination to exist within myself and the world as myself

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe I am defined by this character of being a procrastinator, not realizing that I have created myself as such and only through my allowance and accepted have I become one and equal to this character

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to live as the character of procrastinator and through my acceptance of this character use it as an excuse to not take self responsibility and apply myself within my world effectively because I have believed and defined myself as procrastinator

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to feel trapped in this character of procrastination, and thus have allowed myself to be directed by it and within that I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to postpone things/activities due to believing I am a procrastinator and thus have legitimacy to postpone because it is who I am. Not allowing myself to see and realize that I am not in fact the character of procrastination and by accepting and allowing myself exit as such a character I am re-creating it and compounding the power it has on me, in other words, as long as I allow myself to participate and play along within the character of procrastinator, I am making it harder for me to see, realize and understand that it is not who I am in fact, within participating more as the character of procrastination I am creating more and more memories to then define as myself and to remind myself that I am in fact a procrastinator

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to use the character of procrastination as an excuse to give up on myself before I even start, within the manipulation of not leaving myself enough time to be effective within my assignment/activities, and thus set myself for failure and mediocre achievement, thus allowing the construct of mediocrity to exist within myself and within the world as myself, not realizing that "shooting low" is based in fear and thus I have been allowing fear to direct me through the character of procrastination

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create myself as the character of procrastination as a method to hide from myself the fear I allow myself to experience when faced with assignments/activities I believe myself to have difficulty with, and then within validating the character of "I am not good at this" I create the procrastination character to make sure I actually do a mediocre job, and not allow myself to do everything I could have done if I had given myself the time to do things properly, within an idea time frame

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the character of procrastination back up character to enforce other characters that are based in fear/self-judgment/self-doubt

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to support many other characters that I have created as myself through the character of procrastination

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see realize and understand that by participating in the character of procrastination I am supporting all the other characters that I have created that are creating my experience of failure/inadequacy/inferiority

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that by participating in the character of procrastination I am leading the way before me for self-judgment and thus self-abuse, within that I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within the character of procrastination within knowing as myself the path it leads and still allowing myself to go down that path as a deliberate method to abuse myself, instead of stopping myself within the understanding that the path of procrastination leads to self-judgment as self-abuse and to stop myself within/as support of life

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to stop the character of procrastination because I actually don't want to take self responsibility and having this character of procrastination as a support character of the other self-sabotaging characters is the method I use to excuse myself from actually living as self-responsibility, within the belief that I am not cut out for it, I am not capable, because I am a procrastinator

I commit myself to stopping my participation within/as the character of procrastinator, within the understanding that I am the creator of this character, thus cannot be defined by it but instead have the power/ability to stop my participation within/as it

I commit myself to seeing/investigating if/when I find myself participating within/as the character of procrastination to from the investigation find and forgiving myself for the reason/excuse I have given myself to procrastinate and to stop myself within/as breath from then on if/when the reason come up

I commit myself to using the character of procrastination as a support character to help me see what other character is actually hiding beneath the procrastination character so I can once and for all get to the bottom of myself as the characters I have allowed myself to exist as and have allowed myself to lose myself within, in order to forgive myself for all the characters that I have allowed myself to exist as and to let them go one by one so that I can stop myself as an organic robot defined by the self created character, but rather to trust myself to live as life, here within/as breath, not limited nor directed by characters but actually living fully in every breath what is best for all life

I commit myself to supporting myself as life through the process of self forgiveness as I free myself and let go one by one of all the characters I have been participating with