Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Day 63 - Friendship - Part 5 – Quality Time

continue from my previous blogs:

Day 59 - Redefining friendship
Day 60 - friendship - Part 2 - Care and Support
Day 61 - Friendship - Part 3 - Care and Support - Self Forgiveness
Day 62 - Friendship - Part 4 - Limitation

Within investigating the point of friendship, I find that another dimension of the friendship construct is spending time together, as this bond of friendship needs to be maintained and worked on.

Usually spending time together with a friend will include participating in some sort of activity such as going out to a bar, seeing a movie, playing pool, having lunch, drinking coffee, going dancing, taking a walk, watching a game, going to the beach, engaging in conversation… whatever it is, it seams like there is often some sort of external entertainment that goes hand in hand with the friendship.

In some cases spending time together could be actually communicating as having a talk, on the phone or face to face, and actually sharing what is going on in each other's lives, which then in most cases would activate the caring and supportive characters within justifying and supporting each other's personalities, as I have mentioned in my previous blogs. In other cases the time spent together can be seen as a form of entertainment, just doing something together, like the friendships the platform to do things, so it's not so much about the friendship/communication/intimacy, but rather about the activity and the togetherness, as in not doing it alone.

Having to participate in an activity, as having external stimulation, seams to be a form of separation, like creating an intentional wall between the two friends, as having a safe zone, having an escape route from actual intimacy, and within this I can see the different types of friendships coming up, where with a "close" friend this wall isn't as needed, and more often friends would engage in actual sharing intimate communication, and with not so close friends, more often than not, the time spent together would be around such activities as I have mentioned above.

One must ask oneself, while spending so much time together with a friend, how much time is actually spent in building intimate communication? Close to none. I mean, really, most of the time, most of the conversations, it's not about who we really are, it's about our personalities/characters we have accepted ourselves as, it's about supporting/justifying/protecting each others characters through either care and support or through competition and spitefulness, anything to distract ourselves from being here, as breath, as who we are as life, anything to distract ourselves from ourselves, from actually facing ourselves within self honesty. I mean, friendships could have been so much more than what they are, they could be a truly great foundation for self exploration within self support, while sharing with each other the self realizations and supporting each other to go deeper within ourselves, to assist each other to face ourselves within taking self responsibility for who we are and just be here together, walking the process of life together, but instead it is a place to hide from ourselves through entertainment, while participating in consumerism at it's finest, existing in a bubble that separate us, within our friendship from the rest of the world, including ourselves and each other.

Within the point of spending time together, I see three points: one is the resistance of doing things alone, and thus one would require friends to share interests with so one would have someone to do these activities with, the other point is consumerism, because most of these activities that friends do together, cost money, such as going to the movies, having a drink, going dancing, going to a concert, and I haven't even mentioned yet the "gift" industry as for holidays and birthdays… and the third point is the main deception of friendships, disguising itself behind the mask of support while actually doing the opposite, as supporting the self deception, supporting the separation from ourselves, supporting the characters and personalities, instead of supporting ourselves as life within equality and oneness, instead of using the equality equation as 1+1=2 to manifest together more as what is best for all than what we could on our own. It's a shame really…

Just to be clear within myself, it's not that friendships are bad, but they have been misused, and instead of standing as support of each other to become a more effective beings, it has been corrupted through the participation of limitation, manipulation, self interest, and over all really not supporting each other, not using this platform of communication to support each other to bring about a world worth living for all, I mean, if friendships are used just for self interest, or as a way to hide from ourselves, as a way to express/participate within our power games, as a way to justify ourselves and validate ourselves as the mind as personalities, as characters… then yes, friendships are not worth having, they are abusive and causing harm/suffering as they are keeping us further away from ourselves and further away from each other as equal being sharing this earth together.

But friendships don't have to be this way, it's up to us, we can utilize the power of communication to the best interest of all, we can use the platform that friendship provides to change ourselves, to support ourselves as life. It's up to us, which actually means, that within my relationships, it's up to me.

still more to come, stay tuned…

For Further Support, Please check out Links:


Desteni Wiki

Desteni Forum

Desteni I Process

Equal Money System

Journey to Life Group

Eqafe Life Products - Self Help

Creation's Journey to Life

Heaven's Journey to LIfe

Earth's Journey to Life


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